Aging Parents, Blogging, Humor, Mental Health, Writing

Writing Neurosis

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True confession: I have been beating myself up for the past week because I didn’t publish a post per my usual schedule, on Wednesday.

Let me go through the reasons why excuses why this post did not materialize.

  1. I had 13 different blog post drafts that I had started in the past, say 3 months or so, and while I made some progress on a few of them since the last post I published, I wasn’t gung-ho about publishing any of them. AKA, I was feeling indecisive. Not an unfamiliar feeling for me.
  2. Life interrupted my trains of thought. Hearing news about my mom’s declining health and the subsequent worrying that has followed (magnified by feelings of guilt for not living closer to her).  Lending an ear to others in my life who are struggling through some major changes. Having a busier-than-usual social calendar.
  3. It was our youngest spawn’s 25th birthday and it didn’t feel right to focus on myself that day (that damn mother’s guilt).

I’m guessing that there are other bloggers who can relate, right?

One story I tell myself when I fail to publish on Wednesdays is that in the scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. I likely don’t have any followers that will be crying into their coffee or adult beverage of choice because they didn’t see a post from me that day. They aren’t going to send out a search party or anything because I’m temporarily MIA. I will check my site and see that I still have 92 followers after it’s been 2 weeks since my last post. My world and the blogoshpere will keep spinning.

What a cop-out, right?

Now, while this story I sometimes tell myself is more fact than fiction, where on earth does it get me? Nowhere, that’s where. It puts me in a place, at least in my mind, of self-pity. Poor, poor, pitiful me-right?

What needs to happen here is I need to get off my self-imposed pity train and make writing a bigger priority in my life. Maybe instead of checking off my “to do” lists on Tuesday mornings (which is my most perfect time of the whole entire week to actually put my thoughts and feelings into words on this blog of mine), leaving me mere minutes for any writing before I have to call an Uber and get my ass to work (aka self-sabotage), I ought to do my writing first. Like I am today. That’s a start.

Maybe instead of publishing posts about my wishful thinking (btw, we still haven’t adopted a dog), I should spend my time and energy on improving my writing and my blog; search for new ways to express and improve myself in the blogging realm.

I recently read a great post by a favorite blogger of mine. She shared some great advice about blogging, some of which I am already doing, a portion of that I could be doing even better, and one particularly special nugget that I know I must act on: joining a blogger’s group online. Not that I haven’t already done this; it’s just that I’m not entirely certain the one I joined months ago is my bag. She suggested two of them. So I put in a request on Facebook to join one of them. They accepted my request yesterday. Yay!

I’ve got a truth bomb: I really really really really really really want to see more comments on my blog. I get why readers often don’t comment on other blogger’s posts: it is simply easier to click the like button instead. I mean, our time is valuable, right? We’ve got other blog posts we want to read, our own blog posts to write, and lives to live. However, to me, comments are golden. They make me feel heard, understood, appreciated. Isn’t that the main reason we are all here, blogging into the ether? It’s about community, camaraderie, and improving as writers and as people.

How about we make a pact? I will commit to more frequently commenting on your blog posts if you will commit to more frequently comment on my blog posts. I know that’s pretty forward of me, but I feel we will all benefit.

Now that my neurotic diatribe about blogging/writing is over, I have one question for my fellow bloggers:

Do we have a deal?

16 thoughts on “Writing Neurosis”

  1. I have SO been here! I used to really beat myself up about missing a week’s post – or sometimes going quiet for a month! But I’ve been able to reassure myself recently that you have to really LIVE life to have anything to write about – so give yourself a break when you need it, because when you do come back to it, you feel stronger, refreshed and likely have a lot to say! 🙂 Cheers!

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  2. Even those of us who’ve been blogging a while (does three years count as “a while”?) have these same anxieties. I’ve been beating myself up about missing a few self-imposed deadlines and realizing I need to write more if I’m ever going to improve.
    Definitely hear ya on the comment bit. They are sunshine on a gray blogging day. DEAL!

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  3. I always second guess myself on what I should comment on. I think, “Wow, I sound like an idiot” and then I just click the like button instead. But I love getting comments on my blog too so I’m trying to be better about that! 🙂

    I resonated with so much in this post. I talk about how much I’d like to improve with my blogging, but then I don’t set aside time to write. I know that I can do better writing, but I’m lazy and sometimes forego it to watch Netflix. I definitely read the link you shared to your favorite blogger and asked to join those same blog groups because I want to find some writer friends online! I also checked out some books from the library about writing and blogging so I’m feeling determined to improve at this!

    We got this. 🙂 🙂

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    1. Yay! Thank you for commenting! It is good to know I’m not alone with my neuroses. I do the same thing you do; I want to comment but I second guess what I’m saying so I just hit the like button. Going to stop doing that now though. I love Netflix too-been bingeing on The Walking Dead!

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  4. Gosh, this sounds like me!! I usually write a post (or at least post a recipe) on Wednesdays, and guess what I’m doing? Sitting in my recliner reading other people’s blogs! That’s not such a bad thing though, right? I’m also terrible at taking the time to comment on posts, although I’ve tried very hard recently to make a conscious effort to do so. Love your writing! 😊

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  6. Deal! And following. Love a straight-up ask! There’s too much hemming-and-hawing in the blogosphere. I was just saying that, with a WIP in the works this year, I fear I’m going to be doing a lot of re-blogging of my earlier posts. And I think that’s OK. (I don’t have too many followers running for the hills–yet!). We do what we can do–in life and on the blog!

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