Monthly Archives: July 2023

Americana Music, Love, Memories, Self Compassion

Be Gentle

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The other night, I watched the best thing I’ve seen in a good long while. It was a Brandi Carlile concert on the streaming platform, HBO Max. I liked it so much that I watched it twice.

This concert was nothing short of magical.

The setting was in California’s Laurel Canyon (hence the title “In The Canyon Haze”). This was a loving nod to all the fabulous music that came out of there in the late ’60s and ’70s. I loved the “Hotel California” style vibes. Brandi and her multi-talented band performed songs from her latest album, “In These Silent Days” as the sun slowly set. She answered questions from audience members who were watching on IMAX screens live across the country. She performed a couple of covers of other artists’ songs (which I will provide no spoilers for but assure you will enjoy). It was so well produced. As it went on, it just kept getting better and better. I guarantee it’s going to win all the awards it’s nominated for.

In other words, I highly recommend that you watch this.

Brandi’s song, “Stay Gentle”, was one I hadn’t heard before. It reminded me of a special piece of artwork that I acquired from my dad, which I wrote a blog post about in 2018. What follows is a re-imagining of that blog post, because, with this song, Brandi reminded me of the power of this message.

I don’t know the origin story of this sign.

I can only imagine that someone made it back in the early 70s and gave it to my parents. I just remember it hanging on the fiberboard walls of my dad’s beloved garage while I was growing up. I can only assume that my mom couldn’t find quite the right place to display it in our house. Or she found it tacky.

But my dad had an appreciation for this sign. It meant something to him. It was hung on those fiberboard walls next to scribblings from family and friends from near and far who were visiting our house for one celebration or another. Dad got a big kick out of having guests sign the wall in the garage to commemorate various celebrations. To some, he was gruff, but those who loved him best knew he was quite the sentimental guy.

It’s bittersweet for me to re-share this now, with the knowledge that someone new is living in this house. Dad passed away in 2018, and Mom in 2019. The house was sold earlier this year.

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As a silly 13-year-old, I christened myself the cutest “chic that ever came here”. 

I think first and foremost, these words, “Life is fragile, be gentle”, are the crux of self-compassion. It’s so easy to go through our days mentally haranguing ourselves about how we could have done “this”  better, or how we shouldn’t have said “that” to whomever, and all that unhelpful baloney. I strive to put my self-defeating thoughts on pause and ask myself if the negative thoughts about myself would be something I would say out loud (or even under my breath) to a close friend. The answer is always, emphatically, “no”. This simple phrase, “Life is fragile, be gentle”, puts me in that head and heart space where I can do that.

I believe if we have any hope of ushering in a kinder, less dysfunctional, society, we should endeavor to heed these words in our day-to-day interactions with ourselves and others, whether they be strangers or friends.

Arts and Crafts, Empty Nesting, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Self Help, Self-Reflection, Time Management

Painting Rocks

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Are you a die-hard list maker like me?

If so, you probably find list-making to be a useful self-help tool. A way to keep things organized, in black and white, to check off as you go. To keep you on track and focused. It’s a good way to manage stress.

Sometimes I make a one day “to-do” list, and sometimes it’s a week long “to-do” list. If it’s an especially busy weekend coming up, I’ll create a “to- do list” for that too.

One interesting thing I’ve realized, however, is that often, at the end of the day, I’ve checked off everything on my “to-do” list except for the “non-essential” tasks. The kind of tasks that are just for me. They’re personal. They don’t benefit anyone but me. The fun stuff.

I put these tasks on my lists thinking that will “make” me do them. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t work that way. I often carry the “just for me” tasks into the next day. Then the next and the next. And sometimes I get to a point where I just stop putting those things on my lists altogether.

One recent example of this is painting rocks. I published a post a while back where I mentioned painting rocks as vegetables to be placed in our gardens. I ordered a set of acrylic paints months ago, with the notion that my grandson and I would use them together when I was watching him in the afternoons. Then, before I knew it, my daughter found a babysitter who lives much closer to her, and he no longer needed to come to my house after his day program/school.

I loved the idea of playing with these paints. Not that I’m some kind of talented artist. I’m not. But, now that I’m older and wiser I don’t care that I’m not talented. It’s totally beside the point. Painting original things is fun. It’s meditative. My mom was a great (non-professional) artist. She painted rocks herself back in the ’70s. I remember one in particular, which was a bowl of fruit. It was intricate and colorful and I sure wish I had come across it after she passed so I could have it as a memento.

Several weeks ago, after having “paint rocks” on my to-do lists since May, I went outside and picked a few decent-sized, flat-ish rocks. They sat in my basement, unadorned, until two weeks ago. The acrylic paint set was housed in my dining room cupboard, unopened.

That was the day I just decided I was going to paint those damn rocks. It was time to check it off my “to-do” list to ensure I would not abandon the idea of doing it altogether.

So I put up the plastic folding table which I, long ago, designated for arts and crafts with my grandson. I grabbed those three rocks, opened up the paints (oh so many pretty colors), got out those cheap plastic paint brushes the kid and I would use for water color pictures and simply painted them.

It felt good. Like I was giving myself a hug. I let my mind drift as I squeezed droplets of colors on a paper plate. I didn’t have any particular vision of what I wanted these rocks to look like. I just took the colors that pleased me the most and went with the flow.

I’ve got other items on my revolving “to-do” list that I infrequently get to. Those things are often self-care-related, like giving myself a pedicure. Or reading a book in the afternoon. Or messaging someone that I’d like to get to know better.

You’d think that being an unemployed empty-nester, I’d be engaging in all sorts of personally fulfilling activities. Maybe I just need to manage my time better. Get up earlier. Cut out the t.v. watching at night. Perhaps.

For now, though, I think for just one day-and soon-I will start my day by doing one of these more fun, self-serving, activities and push any of those “essential” tasks to later in the day, or even…the next day.

Creative Writing, Employment, Entertainment, Hollywood Writers Strike

Do You Care About Hollywood’s Writer’s Strike?

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I do.

If it’s not on your radar, the gist of it is that the people who write all the entertainment content we consume have been on strike since 5/2/23. They are part of the Writer’s Guild of America. They’re striking because while the head honchos who helm the shows and movies they write are raking in excessive amounts of cash, the writers are being short-changed.

These writers deserve better.

What’s interesting to me is that for a bunch of different reasons, we are now living in a “gig” economy. Yet, writers in Hollywood have been a part of this employment model for as long as they’ve been in the business. The jobs they have are not ones in which they punch a clock. They are not jobs that offer long-term stability. Their work is project-based. They often have lags between writing gigs. Similar to those in the teaching profession, who typically have summers off, they are in a position where they have to stretch their income to cover expenses and keep a roof over their heads during those “in-between” times. That has got to be stressful.

I feel for these writers. They are underpaid because they are underappreciated. Thankfully they have a union and the wherewithall and support to stage this strike. I hope they are successful.

None of the tv shows or movies we have enjoyed over our lifetimes would be possible without writers. Their imaginations, skills with writing dialogue, and ability to collaborate with other writing colleagues and various staff on projects are what give us viewers the range of entertainment we enjoy today. The writers are the heart of the content we consume. None of it would be possible without them.

Full disclosure: in my fantasy life, I am one of these writers. In real life, I am simply a humongous admirer of these writers.

Because of this interest I’ve always had in being a creative writer for tv and film, I geek out when I encounter the kind of dialogue and storyline that I wish I would have written. For example, if I’m watching something where the writing just dazzles me, I will google the names of the writers responsible so that I can learn more about them and the other projects they’ve contributed to. My keen interest in writing for tv and movies led me to take online Master Classes to learn more (one with Issa Rae and another with Judd Apatow).

But enough about me and my fantasy tv-writing life.

One way to think about it, as viewers of tv and film, is that while this writer’s strike rages on (side note: per BBC yesterday, the actors union, SAG-AFTRA has a contract that expired at midnight, so they may join the writers in striking), we can choose to view great content via cable, streaming, or in the movie theaters that we haven’t yet seen. To remind ourselves of the value of quality writing, and stave off our yearning for new seasons of our favorite shows and movies that had to halt production as a result of the strike.

I know on this blog in the past I’ve gone on about specific tv shows or movies I have loved and why. I’ve shared ideas of films I’d love to see made. But now, I’m going to give you a little list of the shows that I highly recommend based on the quality of the writing that made them so *chef’s kiss*.

***Image courtesy of https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/chefs-kiss/***

Some of these shows I’m about to recommend here potentially have more seasons in them, depending on the result of this writer’s strike. Some of them have concluded their runs but ought to be watched or re-watched (note to self, go back and watch this specific episode) in honor of the stellar writing. Either way, we all ought to root for the talented writers who produced these shows.

  • “The Bear”, streaming on Hulu. Why? The chaotic realism in the dialogue and the 3-dimensional characters.
  • “Somebody Somewhere”, streaming on Max and Hulu. Why? It’s a beautiful display of adult friendships in America in these times. The words that come out of the character’s mouths feel real, like how we actually converse with our friends. Their stories are relatable.
  • “Grace and Frankie”, streaming on Netflix. Why? The zingers, the hilarious interactions, and the dialogue display the unique connections each character has with all the other characters.
  • “You” on Netflix. Why? I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s dark. The dialogue is sharp, the story moves along swiftly, and is completely engrossing.
  • “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”, streaming on Netflix. Why? Rachel Bloom, comedic writer, and performer extraordinaire. It’s completely outside the box, terrifically entertaining and inventive. It’s also great story writing about adult friendships, like “Somebody Somewhere”.
  • “Hacks” on Netflix. Why? It’s about comedic writing. The process, the ups and downs of this career path. It’s witty and charming and is at the top of my list of shows I most wish will have a Season 3.

Because I’m not only an admirer of great tv and film writing, but an enthusiast of the perfect melding of song with scene and characters, I’m ending this blog post with performances of songs plucked from a couple of the shows I’ve recommended above. Sometimes the right music choices in tv and film are the icing on the cake.

Strike On, Writer’s Guild writers!!

***Featured image at top of post courtesy of https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/entertainment-community-fund-requests-writers-strike-1235529858/***

Blogging, Curiosity, Grandparenting, Humor, Self-Reflection, Time Management, Uncategorized

Wrapping Things Up and Circling Back

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Do you remember the series on this blog entitled “I Have Questions” that I started about six blog posts ago?

Well, I never officially wrapped it up. I took some detours for a bit and lost the plot.

Perhaps I’m taking myself too seriously, but closing out this series today will bring me some peace of mind. I’m hoping that some of what I’m about to spew resonates with you.

But first, I need to circle back. I want you to know that the inspiration for the “I Have Questions” series was in the form of my 9-year-old grandson. If you’ve been following my blog for a bit, you’ll recall that there was a 4 month period of time during which my daughter and grandson lived with us in Colorado. A true highlight of this time was when my grandson would, out of the blue, look at me with his big brown eyes and pretty eyelashes and say “Grandma, I have a question”.

I captured some of those “I have a question” stories in a draft folder, intending to share them on this blog. Now seems like the right time to share them.

Once, I was in the shower as he was supposed to be getting ready for school. I heard a knock on the door. I ask “Who’s there?” (knowing it’s him). No response. A couple of minutes later, another knock. He says, opening the door, “I have a question”. I ask what it is. “Is it ok if I go to the doctor before school today?” he asks. I ask him why he needs to go to the doctor. He says it’s because he has a “hole in his cheek”. I ask how he got a hole in his cheek. He says it’s because he used Grandpa’s razor on it and cut it. I said “Wow, you must be bleeding like crazy”. I then stick my wet head out of the shower to find him sitting on the toilet with his hand covering his cheek. He tells me he can’t remove his hand because “blood will gush out”. I told him to get out of the bathroom and get to school. He complied.

Don’t worry, folks, he did not have a hole in his cheek. Just a minuscule knick. This kid has a flair for the dramatic.

Another one: “I have a question. What comes before Tuesday?” Me: “Monday”. Him: “Hmm”. I have no idea what that was about.

A more recent one: “I have a question. What’s a virgin?” (this was in response to him seeing an ad for “Hocus Pocus 2” after having seen the original). As I hemmed and hawed about how to respond, Hubs piped up with “It’s what they call someone who’s never done something before”.

Genius!

Now back to finishing what I started.

If I had to tell you one thing about myself that I dislike, it’d be that I start projects that I don’t finish. And I’m feeling sick and tired of it.

There are multiple projects I have started, particularly in the last year or two, which remain unfinished. I’m getting to work behind the scenes on finishing at least some of them. Some are arts and crafts related. Some are home improvement-related, and others are creative writing-related.

I started this series without thinking it through, and after a couple of posts I started feeling like I pigeon-holed myself. It was too broad. I neglected to set any parameters whatsoever when I came up with the idea of starting this series. I think it’s linked to the fact that I have few limits on what questions I want to ask: of myself, others, or the universe.

But, hey, I’ve always viewed my blogging endeavor as an experiment. Trying a series was part of this experiment. I’m very much not wording this right, but you (bloggers) know how there’s an option for topics on the right-hand side of your “blog post in progress”, which includes the word “uncategorized”? I’m caught between feeling like I should embrace that and questioning if it’s serving me.

Serious question for other personal bloggers reading this: Can you relate to the “uncategorized” label? If so, how?

Ok, so clearly I do still have questions.

Just not a series about them any longer.

The song in my head as I wrap up this blog post:

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

***Featured image courtesy of https://quotefancy.com/quote/1644669/Laura-Day-Endings-are-beginnings-if-we-allow-them-to-be