All posts by Rhonda

I'm a 51 year old lover of life, family, friends, and creative writing (amongst numerous other activities, people, animals, big ideas, and things). I am a native Minnesotan transplanted to the Denver metro area from Wisconsin due to a job transfer for my fabulous husband. We are empty nesters, with two terrific adult children living their own lives, one in Indianapolis and the other near Green Bay, WI. I am and always have been in my heart of hearts, a writer. I was a case manager/social worker for many years in Wisconsin and am now ready for my new chapter in life as a writer. I enjoy writing about day to day (mis)adventures I experience in my new Colorado environment, the people I love and those that inspire me, places I've traveled to, music that makes my world go 'round, politics and current affairs, and general observations and ideas about life and ideas on how it could be improved. My hope is that my blog will be interactive, collaborative, and inspiring.

Impeachment and Beyond: A Political Pipe Dream

Disclaimer: My blog is not a political one. I am not aiming, nor do I believe I possess the energy/skill-set/desire for it to become one. However, I’m an avid political news consumer. And I’m simultaneously sickened by the current political state of affairs and hopeful that with our next election, there will be positive changes in this country. For every single one of us.

And I have a blog. A space where I can spout off my opinions and ideas, political or otherwise.

So, here I go.

Having a positive mind-set does not mean one doesn’t ever have negative thoughts or feelings. Negative opinions of others.

For instance: I have numerous negative thoughts and opinions about Donald Trump. Such as: He’s an awful human being. He lacks compassion. He is narcissistic. He is unintelligent. He is a racist and a misogynist. He is wholly untrustworthy. He’s in over his head, has been since he got elected POTUS, but he’s so delusional he’s unable to admit that; likely even to his own self.

We as a country need him to be impeached. Or he needs to resign. We need him out of the fucking Oval Office, stat. However it happens is however it happens. It just needs to happen. Like yesterday.

Impeaching “Don the Con” needs to be the focus right now, in this moment. Granted, we all know he and his minions (until they all scatter away from him like drowning rats of course) are going to do their damndest to provide “distractions” from the looming impeachment. We need to call out those distractions for what they are: a manipulative means of switching the American voters focus on anything other than the immediate threat: Donald Trump as our President. He is a tumorous cancer on our country.

Daniel Dale on Twitter: "Going on MSNBC with @NicolleDWallace to talk about Donald Trump, the president."

 

So once all has been revealed and Donald Trump is unequivocally out the door, I think the 2020 Democratic presidential contenders need to take themselves a respite, as a team, and come up with a comprehensive plan for our country’s future. I think if they do this, there’s no stopping them from taking the White House, the Senate, and the House.

Allow me to channel my inner political strategist.

So we’ve got 10-ish Dems currently running for the Democratic nomination who are far more capable of running this country than the Douche who’s currently in the White House. They are all, in my view, upstanding, hardworking, sincere, intelligent and trustworthy folks. They all have their own experiences, talents, and ideas to bring to America’s table.

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These Democratic Presidential candidates would be wise to  hit the pause button on their own races for a bit and have themselves a meeting of the minds. Maybe a weekend retreat somewhere in the mountains where they have the space and time to relax individually; catch up on their sleep, have a massage, go for a hike.

Bernie can do some guided meditation. Elizabeth can decompress in a sauna. Kamala and Amy can get a massage.

Then, if I had my way, they’d have a couple of professional, experienced mediators equipped with white boards and plenty of erasable markers to come up with a plan that answers the question: “What do Americans most need from us as elected officials to ensure a healthy, prosperous, and sustainable future for themselves, their loved ones, and our planet?”

I would posit that the most important outcome of this whole experience would be that they would create charts of who of each of them (including some who have officially dropped out of this race) would be in what cabinet position, depending upon who is POTUS and who is Vice POTUS. Then when the time is right, make the final chart, aka plan, public.

Thing is, when we vote for our next President, we need to understand that we are entrusting this person not only to lead our country and all that entails, but also to choose their cabinet members wisely. Put the right people in the right positions. As in, the complete opposite of what Chump has done.

This is what I envision:

POTUS: Elizabeth Warren (a no brainer at this point to me)

Vice POTUS: Pete Buttegeig or Julian Castro

Secretary of Energy: Jay Inslee

Attorney General: Kamala Harris or Amy Klobuchar

Secretary of State: Joe Biden

Secretary of Defense: Tulsi Gabbard

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Cory Booker

Secretary of Labor: Bernie Sanders

I fully realize this is a pipe dream, which some of you readers may completely disagree with. But it is my pipe dream. As an American who has become deeply concerned about where our nation is headed since the Liar-in-Chief took office and enlisted the help of his kids and other reprehensible characters to do his bidding, I fervently hope the Dems can truly get on the same page and figure out how to win this next election and get to work on making America sane, functional, and respectable again.

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My First Post about Names

Perhaps weirdly, I have a lot to say about names. See above title. I’m certain this will not be a one-off topic for me on this blog.

Think I’ll start with the obvious. My name: Rhonda. My mom told me she named me after a movie star named Rhonda Fleming. I don’t know much about her beyond that she had red hair. Hold on a sec…

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Rhonda Fleming-ain’t she a beaut? Geez, I hope all that straw didn’t end up in her nether regions!

Of course there’s that dumb Beach Boys song, you know the one, which about 60% of the people that meet me for the first time feel compelled to sing to me (like the guy checking us out at PetSmart yesterday).  One of our neighbors is also a Rhonda and she actually has this song as her ring tone on her cell phone. Having the name Rhonda, while I’m  pretty neutral about how I feel about it now at 52, kind of sucked growing up.

There were 4 other Rhonda’s between my class and the class ahead of me. In a school system that had a mere 500 (give or take) students in total. Similar to that dumbass show “The Bachelor”, there was a Rhonda D., a Rhonda T., two Rhonda S’s., and a Rhonda K (that would be me). I never figured what that was all about, all these moms sipping their Tabs and playing Bridge in the late 60’s being all un-original about naming their babies. The worst though was the nickname bestowed upon me by a tall, gangly, obnoxious kid named “Todd”. He greatly enjoyed calling me “Rhon-duh”, emphasis on the “Duh” as in “Duh-brain” (a clever off-shoot of “Rhon-duh”).

Here’s some more names I have important commentary on:

Joan. One Joan I know is my daughter’s soon to be ex MIL. I had an issue with her from the day I met her. In front of me and Hubs, she presented my daughter with a “special” necklace with the word “daughter” engraved on it. Made my blood boil. In retrospect, I think it was her way of softening my daughter to her, as that was the fateful night we nor only first met but also starting planning the wedding between our daughter and her son (there is a story to be told of that night for sure).

Then there’s another Joan, one of my mom’s old Bridge pals from back in the day. After my mom passed away in February, my sister and I split the sympathy cards up so that sending the thank you’s wouldn’t be on just one of us. We are fair with each other like that (side note: I freaking love my sister! She’s coming to visit us this week. Yay!).

So anyway, I found Joan’s card. No address. This frustrated me no end while I was trying to get this task completed (she wasn’t the only one who failed to furnish their address). So I decided to go ahead and find her address online. I thought that would be easy peasy.  Simple. Efficient. It wasn’t. I checked with two different websites that said they didn’t charge (yeah, right, sucker!) and of course was simply told that she was “found”. But no specific address was made available to me, just the city and state where she lived (like hello! I knew that already, people!).  I gave up and later ended up finding it another way (she owns a business-forgot about that!) online. Ever since, every single fucking time I open up my Chromebook, I get these pop ups with lines like “are you still searching for Joan”? One even, I swear to God, included a little picture of Momo (you know, that urban legend/internet hoax that really really dumb middle schoolers have apparently bought into). I guess they thought they could scare me into paying them to dig up Joan’s address for me after all this time I’d been searching?

 

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I present to you, Momo

In a previous post,  I mentioned how my mom used to love to sing to me all the time when I was little, despite not really being able to carry a tune. I have fuzzy memories of her when I was probably 4 or 5, when I would beg her to sing me “name” songs. They ran the gamut between “Julie do ya love me?”, to “I’ve been working on the railroad” (Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow your horn was the chorus), to “Laurie (strange things happen)”.

Let me leave you with my personal favorite “name” song, with the extra special bonus of interpretive dance. Enjoy!

 

Pitches and Badass Bitches

I’ve been re-thinking my “About” page these days (yes, again).  I read somewhere on the blogosphere not long ago that readers check out the “About” pages on blogs more than one would think, and their impression of them may either turn them on or turn them off. I for one, do peruse the “About” pages after reading a post or two I like on another blogger’s site.  Suffice it to say, I think it’s time to give my “About” page a makeover.

At the very least, it needs some flair. 37 might be over the top when it comes to my blog though.

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I do not have a salesperson personality. I do not want to come across as a salesperson on this blog. Yuck. Just yuck. In fact, I freaking detest being approached by salespeople in a clothing store, or whatever store (or any other setting for that matter). It seriously turns me off. I want to make my own, informed, personal decision when I’m considering a purchase. I don’t tolerate it well when I’m being bombarded with information I didn’t ask for just so I can earn someone a sale. Or a follow.

That being said, I also accept and understand the role of the “pitch”. In my job, I’ve been put in the position of having to attend “speed networking” meetings. These meetings are typically held in assisted living facilities and all attendees are professionals who work for companies and non-profits that serve our aging population. A good chunk of the attendees are marketing folks. So I have learned how to “market” my organization in the span of 3 minutes at a time, because I’ve had to.

So that’s how I’m going to approach making over my “About” page. It’s a pitch, right? I’ve got a lot of overthinking pondering to do on this. Stay tuned.

That brings me to the “Badass Bitch” part of this post. Because truthfully, I’m striving to be one. With my blog of course-but I will not limit my pursuit of personal badassiness to just that.

But enough about me.

Let me tell you about the women I find to be particularly badass, and I strongly encourage you to share yours.

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First, there’s Lizzo: You’ve certainly heard of her at least, right? She’s the hip-hop, rap, music-maker of funky/catchy tunes who I am certain will be winning Grammys left and right before long. My favorite badass artist turned me on to her (that would be Spawn #2).

Interesting facts/what makes Lizzo seriously badass:

She was mentored by Prince. If you are a Prince fan, you will hear his influences in her songs.

She is a flutist. She actually planned on being a professional flutist in fact.  When she pulls that flute out, it’s unexpected and truly magical.

She’s an actress! Triple threat, right there. She will soon be seen in the movie “Hustlers” (she pulls out the flute in one of two short scenes she is in), and provided her voice talent to the movie “Ugly Dolls” (which I totally need to see ASAP).

I thoroughly enjoyed Lizzo’s “tiny desk” concert on NPR. I think you will too. She is charasmatic, funny, and just so stinkin’ talented. Check it out!

Another badass bitch you likely have never heard of is this lady, California Congresswoman Katie Porter.

Interesting facts/what makes Katie a badass:

She turned Orange County California from red to blue as the first Democrat to be elected in her district. 

She is a single mother of 3, after having gone through domestic violence in her marriage.

She has a wicked sense of humor (see below clip).

She grew up in Iowa which has given her an understanding and appreciation of farmers and other Americans who break their backs to earn a meager living.

Watch her go toe-to-toe here with Bill Maher. I am so paying attention to where she goes politically. I like to think she’ll reside in the White House some day.

 

 

The HighWomen. They are a new “supergroup” of badass country/Americana singer/songwriters comprised of Brandi Carlile, Maren Morris, Amanda Shires, and Natalie Hemby. Their song “Redesigning Women” has been a constant earworm for me as of late. To me, it’s the modern day woman’s version of  Dolly Parton’s  “9 to 5”. Like if they ever did a remake of that movie, this would need to be the theme song. I can really relate to the lyrics, as I imagine any American middle aged woman would.

I love, love, love, this video!!!

Greta Thunberg is the youngest badass that I’d like to feature. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s a teenager from Sweden who is determined to do all she can to turn the tide on climate change. She fell into depression when she learned about climate change in school a few years back. Once the depression lifted, she became hyper-focused (she is on the Autism spectrum and embraces it, as one should) on doing every single thing she can to ensure world leaders start acting now to combat climate change. She started by doing a school strike and now she’s traveling the world (by train and not air, as to not compound the problem) to protest and bear witness to this crisis for her generation.

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I think we need more Greta Thunberg’s in this world, don’t you?

What’s your theme song today?

Seems I haven’t written a music-themed post in quite a little while. As I’m knee-deep into another WIP for this blog right now, which is not going to be ready for public consumption for at least another week, it feels like a good time to talk about the music that is currently inspiring me.

I like the idea of having a “theme” song. Not just one, however. We humans are not one-dimensional after all. It’s how ever many speak to you. A song based on what’s going on in your life in the moment. A song that expresses how you are feeling about what’s going on in your life in the moment. A song that speaks to your spirit; your soul.

If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you probably understand that I’m a total geek when it comes to making Google playlists. I’ve got numerous playlists, all filled with songs under a specific theme. From my “CFO” (Chill the Fuck Out) playlist, to me and Hubs’ “Road Trip” playlist, to my “Soul Song” playlist (which I talk about here and highly recommend you do, if you find music inspiring at all-if you don’t, you might want to get that checked. Just saying!).

But this post is not about my Google playlists. It’s about songs that come into my mind in particular moments. The ones that sometimes define my days.

Like:

“Bitch” by Meredith Brooks: I’m feeling pretty fierce when this is my theme song. Confident, like I’m embracing all that I am as a woman in today’s world. With gusto.

“The Climb” by Miley Cyrus: I know this may seem like a cheesy choice, this song that was written and performed by a child 10 years ago. But bear with me here. It is a very well written song and the lyrics resonate with me as a blogger with big writing dreams. And yes, it is on my “Soul Song” playlist, thankyouverymuch.

“Anticipation” by Carly Simon: This song speaks to me in the moments when it dawns on me that I’ve allowed myself to perseverate on future plans. It brings me back to earth; the present, the now. It reminds me that right here and right now, living a great life with Hubs in Colorado, that “these are the good old days”.

“With a Little Luck” by Paul McCartney and Wings: This is the song I sing to myself when I’m stressed about our Spawn and what their futures might look like. When I feel like Hubs and I have done all we can to support and guide them but still feel anxious. It’s a little reminder to myself that Hubs and I have gone through myriad ups and downs, with our children, our careers, our personal selves and extended family through these last almost 30 years, and we’ve always figured things out, made it through. And with a little luck, we’ll keep on keepin’ on. It gives me a sweet little boost.

Do tell me, my music-loving, lyric-loving, self-loving readers: what are your theme songs?

 

 

 

 

 

The Recombobulation Zone

After traveling by air last week, I appreciate the sign posted at the Milwaukee airport (and per Hubs, many airports in the U.S. because he travels way more than me).

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Because I’m relating to it on a deep level right now. I’m knee deep in the “recombobulation zone”.

What put me there, you may wonder. This very meaningful weekend I just spent in Wisconsin with the people I love so much. Some I am related to by blood; some I am related to due to the wise choice I made almost 30 years ago to marry into this family.

People, if I’ve learned anything in this life, it is that when you marry a person, you marry their family, too. For better or worse. Through thick and thin. It’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.

But clearly, my emotions were discombobulated and I’m now unpacking them. Spending quiet time outside on a lake in Wisconsin got me thinking of my parents. The reality of both of their deaths really started to hit me. More and more, I find myself thinking of them and what they would think of what we are doing, saying, and about how life is going for the rest of us still in our human form on planet Earth.

For the rest of this post, I will be focusing on the positive take-a-ways from the Davis family Wisconsin cabin vacation, however. I may be on a strange and up and down path, but my name is Pollyanna after all (or not).

Allow me to bullet point it, in the interest of time and K.I.S.S. (Keep. It. Simple. Sister.).

  • Our grandson is growing by leaps and bounds. He is high-spirited, intelligent, and curious about the world around him. I wish I could see him more often. His biggest concern re: starting Kindergarten this week? That for lunch he will be served pork chops every. single. day. Who knows how this got lodged in his 5 year old brain, but the fact of the matter is, he hates pork chops.
  • Despite her pessimistic “realist” outlook, I cannot underestimate the wisdom of my wonderful mother in law. Mental note to self: talk to her on the phone on a more regular basis.
  • The sight of small children and deer mingling melts my heart.
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Christopher at Fawn-Doe-Rosa, a wildlife adventure park
  • Women over the age of 40 can be truly badass. Take my SIL, Mary. She’s 47, in great shape, both inside and out, has a huge heart for all living things, and she’s furthering her education while working full time.
  • Choices a person can make in life can produce unintended, uninvited, and unpleasant consequences. But it’s a spectacularly hopeful thing to witness someone at the beginning phase of turning a rotting lemon into sweet lemonade.
  • Spending time outside with the ones you love the most, with no high tech distractions, just the smell of a campfire, the feel of a breeze on your skin, talking about life is just oh-so-good for one’s soul.
  • Witnessing your grandchild being introduced to fishing by your fisherman-at-heart spouse is a true delight.

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The Radar Diaries

Well, you all knew when Hubs and I adopted Radar, you were going to hear all about it, right?

We’ve had him now for almost 3 months and so far, so good. Mostly.

On the bright side, he has brought us a lot of joy. Ironically, the wonderful dog trainer who we see every Sunday is also named Joy. I like to think that is no coincidence. Radar is a happy-go-lucky, people loving pup. Just a little rough around the edges.

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A brief respite among his shedded fur after some crazy random running around as I was writing this post.

Radar is also the most distractible dog I’ve ever seen. For now, I think that can be blamed on him still being a puppy (the initial guess was he was 18 months old when we adopted him, and according to Hubs, German Shepherds do not fully mature until they are 2 or even 3). Pre-Radar I took great delight in seeing the bunnies when I was out walking around the hood. Now they are my nemesis. On account of the fact that Radar either wants to play with them or wants to eat them. He demonstrates this desire by pulling as hard as he can on the leash that I’m holding so tight my fingernails are making imprints into my palms. The upside to this is that he has increased the speed of my reflexes, as I’m usually able to tell him “leave it!” and yank him to the other side where the bunny is no longer in his line of sight. Of course, he isn’t dumb and he is very obsessive, so there’s usually a few quick turns back so he can give that bunny the evil eye. Then we carry on, at least until the next bunny appears. Fucking stupid bunnies.

Contemplating my next purchase…

Then he can’t see those dumb bunnies!

I won’t even go into the trauma I experienced the other night, whilst taking the little shit best dog ever out to take a shit. Bottom line, two smaller dogs invaded his space  came into our shared front “yard” (we live in a townhome community, people) with their owner and he couldn’t resist bolting toward them, tail wagging, ready to mix it up (undetermined if that was in a good way or not, it’s all a blur to me now). I acquired a banged up knee and a bruised dog mommy ego. Tears were shed.

I may have to take my neighbor, Robin, up on her offer of a dab of CBD infused peanut butter for Radar’s Kong toy. She said it works wonders for her two doggies. Though Hubs  refers to it as “snake oil”, so that may be a hard sell.

Radar has gifted me with flashbacks to when our spawn were toddlers as well.

Examples:

Just like when my kids were little, I can be made to feel bad about my parenting skills. Like when Radar got himself kicked out of the group beginner obedience training at PetSmart. It was our second time there, and while we had high hopes that the furry devil was going to be at least somewhat calmer this time, that is not how it went down. He pulled Hubs and I around. He barked in his loud and scary (to those not used to it) way, which echoes in the store. He was a very distracted distraction for the other canine participants. So that was a bust, causing me to feel that “mommy guilt” that I had shed 10+ years ago.

We are now doing one on one training and this has been quite helpful as well as enlightening. Thank the good Lord for Joy!

When our spawn were toddlers, pooping in the approved receptacle (that would be the toilet, if you wondered), Hubs and I get so excited when this dog poops in the proper receptacle (that would be outside, people). We have figured out that within 7 minutes of chowing down his food, he must have a bowel movement. If we foolishly miss the opportunity to take him out, he will evacuate his bowels on the floor. Lucky for us, he now only does this on the tile floor directly in front of our front door, so clean up is easy! Not like we want to clean up poop of course. But at least it’s not on the carpet. We take our wins when we can.

How about the rest of you dog ‘rents? Trying out some new lingo here based on Spawn #2’s millenial vernacular. How are things going? Please share pics of your furry companions in the comments!

P.S. Funny story that I remembered after watching this sweet music video….when grandson Christopher was about 2, we would ask him “What does the doggy say”? His response: heavy panting. Ha ha!!

How I’m Rolling Write Now: Breaks and Distractions

Somewhere between starting to write the first (of hopefully many) blog posts for my work’s website, reading and commenting on other blogger’s posts, and well, just the normal busyness of summer (please know I am not complaining here), I decided to take a week off from publishing a blog post.

Sorta like (ok, not really) the youths that had community service hours to complete at my food bank, who I found sipping lemonade in the staff break room a couple of weeks ago. These two pubescent boys had put in approximately 52 minutes of “work” (aka putting plastic grocery bags in their receptacles and a small bit of re-stocking shelves) and informed me they were “on break”.

I am not the supervisor so I chose not to tell them that this was not an “authorized” break and they needed to get back into the food bank and break down those damn boxes.

This is probably not the sort of anecdote to include on the work blog. Snark has no place there.

Okay, so back to the original point of this post. What did I do during this break?

Well, quite a bit of pondering. And writing in dribs and drabs. That’s kind of how I work with this blogging thing of mine. I sneak a few moments here and there and write a few words. I wish I had a whole day to do this though. I have this image of myself pounding away, fully bereft of a sense of time and possibly place, penning post after post after post. Banking them, if you will. Which is what my boss’s boss wants me to do with the work blog.

Wish me luck.

But I’m so prone to distraction. Radar is a major distraction for me. And it’s not because he’s continuously nudging my arms with his wet nose as I’m typing or that he’s ripping the house apart (though he’s fond of using the bath mat as a chew toy when I’m not paying attention). It’s because I want to be a great dog parent (I almost typed “owner” but that just seems wrong to me. He’s not my slave, after all. Not like I’m expecting him to make dinner for us or anything. Can you imagine?). But I digress. I did mention that I’m prone to distraction, correct? Bottom line-I believe he deserves as much care and attention as I can possibly give him, don’t you all agree?

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I will soon have a spate of days where I’ll be the only human in my house. Hubs has a work trip then shortly after that, he’ll be flying to Wisconsin to help his parents with home repairs. This will be my time. My time to 1) edit my blog’s draft folder (so much in the hopper, people!),  2) write like the fiend I am and 3) finally update my vision board.

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I will of course, during this time, catch up on my favorite shows (you know, the ones Hubs does not appreciate). Like finishing where I left off on the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Finally watching “Wine Country” on Netflix (highly recommended to me by Spawn #2 plus it’s an Amy Poehler creation!). Season 9 of Shameless (gotta keep up with the godforsaken Gallagher’s).

May my t.v. watching not become too big a distraction.

But writing during this time will be my #2 priority after Radar.

Wish me luck!