Tag Archives: Love

Adult children, Dogs, Home Improvement, Life, September

Goodbye Summer, Greetings Fall!

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The summer began with a bang. If you’ve been following this blog for a bit, you may already know this, but my daughter got married at the end of May. The whole event went off devoid of any major hitches. It was a beautiful day, and I couldn’t have been happier for my daughter and her new husband. They are very well-suited for each other and very much in love. It is palpable whenever we’re in their company.

My daughter was pregnant as she said her vows. She and her husband were expecting baby #2 in December. However, shortly after baby #1’s first birthday at the end of June, she miscarried. These kids, along with the rest of us, were devastated. It was so unexpected, as my daughter had been told that her pregnancy was coming along very well and that the baby had a strong heartbeat not three weeks prior. Seeing my daughter so bereft broke my heart.

Baby #1’s birthday, which we celebrated at our house (he also had two other birthday parties on his daddy’s side of the family, lucky little nugget) with my in-laws was absolutely delightful. Baby loved grabbing fistfuls of cake with his chubby hands and scarfing it down. He delighted at us singing the Happy Birthday song and clapped at the end. Mr. NOA took a video of it which we will treasure forever and ever.

This is the part of the story of the Summer of 2026 where I talk about The Fence.

Long story short: our neighbors adopted a little doggie and our two bigger doggies enthusiastically greeted them two twice in under 2 weeks, causing a bit of a ruckus. Mind you, no one was hurt. Out of an abundance of caution, we put up a fence. Mr. NOA and I were unhappy that this was what needed to happen, as our boys just love to run free and romp around our property here in the Minnesconsin countryside.

Yet, after a little bit of time, I realized that I don’t hate that we have the fence. More importantly, the dogs don’t hate it either. The fence is right outside the sliding glass door that goes from the entryway onto the deck. We also put cameras out there so we can see what they are up to. We have this sweet spot between our walk-out basement and our shed that is largely flat, shaded, and shields the dogs view of the road, so they can’t easily see if our neighbors are walking their little doggie. So when we want them to run free, we just yell out “who wants to go outside downstairs?!” and the dogs rush to the stairs, Radar picking up a toy to bring with (and leave outside every time). They get out there and they run and run and run, and play-fight and they absolutely love it. I’m glad we figured this out. This was a space on our property which was not getting much use anyway, and now I have all kinds of plans in my head about what we can add to it to create an even more fun family/dog space to enjoy (a bench swing here, a fairy garden there, maybe a picnic table?). That’ll be a top priority for me come late Spring/early Summer of 2027.

Also this summer, we stopped just talking about the many home improvement projects we want to do and we started doing them. The entryway is no longer adorned with emerald green carpeting and has been replaced (thanks to Mr. NOA) by a beautiful marbled dark gray and tan tile. It looks fantastic.

And now, there is tile instead of carpet in our living room, which eradicated the odor of dog pee (a consequence of having a puppy who has been hard to potty train). I no longer will be embarrassed to have company over! Mr. NOA also painted the walls a warm white (something we’ve been talking about for at least two years now). We picked up new blinds for the picture window in our living room as well. We got ourselves a new microwave and Mr. NOA fashioned a piece of Acacia wood as a shelf to hold it above our stove. We also replaced the flourescent lights in our kitchen and dining room with energy-efficient, soft LED bulbs. Big improvement there. We’re hoping next to tackle fixing some of the boards on our deck and staining it, along with our little fence on the other side of our propane tank before it gets too cold out. Though it of course depends on having at least a few days in a row without any rain.

Photographic evidence of before, after, and in-between! Note on pic #3 which reveals that someone with paws walked into the living room before the Killz had fully dried. Oh, these dogs!

So it was kind of an up-and-down summer and I’m so ready for fall! I adore the month of September and have lots of fun things to look forward to this fall. The area festivals, a trip to a corn maze with the kids, perhaps an out of town overnight with friends and family, and of course, Halloween! That begs the question, how shall we celebrate? What costumes shall we wear? Now is the time to start planning, methinks.

How was your summer, friends? Are you geared up for Fall, like me?

I like this quote I recently found from F. Scott Fitzgerald: “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall”. I’m ready to embrace this mindset.

And now for the most apropos song imaginable to cap off today’s post!

Anxiety, Blogging, Creativity, Dancing, Dogs, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Simplicity

Quick Post for ASAP

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I haven’t changed the title of this blog post since I first typed it in.

This is me trying to not overthink anything right now. I am so exhausted from doing that for so long. Not like I aim to “underthink” either. I guess you could say I’m in search of a solid middle ground between the over-and-under-thinking stuff right now.

I’ve been irritated with myself all week over not having a blog post ready for public consumption for two weeks. I know in the scheme of things it doesn’t matter much, because I’m still working (my 3-year work anniversary is next week!), keeping up with/moving onto housework and home improvement stuff with Mr. NOA. Plenty of understandable reasons why it’s been a while.

I think sometimes in life, when you just don’t have the right energy or interest in doing something you have a history of enjoying, it’s better to just suck it up and face it. Just do the thing.

So today, this is the thing. I’m popping up randomly and hoping you are doing well and that you have something special you’re looking forward to. Because I’ve always believed that is one of the keys to a happy life, which we all deserve.

And I’ve been trying to get better at capturing day-to-day life by taking more photos on my cell phone. Here’s a few:

From top left: Dash, our youngest GSD goofball, me with the oldest Grandkid, a DIY flower arrangement I put together, baby Grandnugget, a little summer-y dessert I made last weekend.

My aim is to keep the overthinking at bay and if I’m successful with that, you’re liable to see another post from me in much less than 2 weeks from now.

Here’s one of my very favorite indie pop songs of the summer of 2026 for you to enjoy. It’s best appreciated turned up loud in a place with enough floor space to get your groove on while you enjoy the catchy melody and upbeat lyrics. However, it is quite a fun video to watch that will no doubt put a grin on your face and a pep in your step!

Aging, Community, Curiosity, Family Dynamics, Grief, Life, Reading, Spirituality, Wisdom, Work, Writing

Not To Be Morbid or Anything

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One of the tasks I am responsible for at work is checking the obituaries. We have an Excel spread sheet that is used to track the vital information: name, city, date of birth, date of death. We do this so that we remain aware of who has passed in our county. That way, if it happens to be a client, volunteer, or donor, we can ensure a sympathy card goes out in the mail and/or a name is taken off our mailing list, lest a widow or widower receives a solicitation from our organization in the mail with their deceased spouse’s name on it.

Some obits are short and to the point, not revealing much about the deceased beyond who preceded them in death and who from their earthly orbit is left to mourn their loss. These trigger my imagination. I ponder what the reasons could have been for these sparsely worded obits. Perhaps the deceased was not well-liked by their family? Or maybe, perhaps even worse, not well-known? Or perhaps they were so beloved that their loved ones just couldn’t put their heads around how to even begin to express their love for them in writing, momentarily emotionally paralyzed by their grief.

I suppose a percentage of the obits I read are written by paid professionals, though I can’t know for sure. It makes me wonder what information is requested of the families by the writer to allow them to create a tribute to the dearly departed that accurately captures who they were in life. What a sacred thing to be entrusted with.

Often, it seems, in particular with elderly females that have passed, the newly deceased are described in their obits as being “selfless”. I understand for those penning these obits this is high praise, but I can’t help but wonder if these “selfless” women actually got to enjoy their one and only precious lives at all. Or were they just too busy making sure everyone else was taken care of to do any taking care of themselves? No doubt this is a result of both the patriarchy and the generation these folks came up in.

One trend that I’ve noticed in these obituaries, which occurred on Mr. NOA’s side of the family (his maternal grandmother), is that folks are not always having funerals, or even “celebrations of life”. Often, it’s stated in the obits that this is per the deceased wishes.

I don’t get this at all. Funerals and “celebrations of life” are for the living. They are for the people who are devastated that you have passed on from this earthly sphere. Honestly, I think it’s selfish. However, I do understand a person not wanting to have an open casket when their family is having a funeral. I think that’s where Mr. NOA’s grandma was coming from; she didn’t want people looking at her lifeless body in a casket. I don’t want that either. I say cremate me, have a big ‘ol party and listen to my favorite songs.

Some obituaries are so beautifully written and with enough detail to make me wish I had known the person. Like the woman who had a dog named “George Michael Bluth“. I think she was an educator and loved to garden. Or the man who woke his children up by singing “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” at the top of his lungs every day.

There are times when the obits I read are of people who were not elderly. The ones whose lives were cut very short by a sudden medical emergency, accident, or cancer diagnoses. It brings it home for me that life is so fleeting and any control we think we have in how it’s going to end is delusional. It makes me feel like I want to take my life more seriously. Not take myself more seriously, mind you. Just life. Recognizing that each day I get is one to enjoy and appreciate.

I struggled a bit to find the right song to end this blog post with. As an elder Gen Xer, my brain kept returning to the first sad song I remember hearing as a kid, Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks. My sister had it on an old ’45 that I could play on my little plastic turntable back in about 1975. When I checked YouTube, I was surprised to learn that Nirvana recorded their own version of this song. Seems fitting to me.

So if you could use a good cry…enjoy?

4th of July, America, Americana Music, Blogging, Community, Faith, Memories, Mental Health, Voting

Happy Birthday, America

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Happy Birthday to you, America, I guess.

Please forgive me for not feeling as enthusiastic about your special day as I did when you turned 200.

Of course, at the time, I was 9 years-old, living a safe, somewhat sheltered, comfortable life with my family in a small town in northern Minnesota. I rode my red, white, and blue bike in the 4th of July parade that year. Carefree and happy to celebrate you with my family and friends.

Let’s just say I’m conflicted about celebrating your birthday this time around. On one hand, I grieve for you and what you have become on account of three things: greed, hatred, and fear. On the other hand, I’m pissed at you. You got played so hard by our current administration and their allies and associates. Decisions you made and “truths” you were groomed to believe have put us in one hell of a mess.

Your flag, which is the greatest physical manifestation of who you are (next to the Statue of Liberty) has been used and abused by those seeking power over you and yours. You’ve allowed it to become sullied. Disrespected.

The people that thought you up are long gone now, but surely the state you are currently in was not their vision.

It’s time for you, (and me and you and you, and you), to start taking you more seriously and stop taking you for granted. One could argue it’s past time.

I can only speak for myself, but there are things that can be done to put you on the right track. Speaking up and speaking out in ways that feel authentic, staying informed about current events and sharing what you learn with others, and voting for candidates that most closely align with American values, like civil liberties and justice for all.

(Yes, I am a proud card-carrying member of the ACLU and you, my kind and smart readers, ought to consider financially supporting this vital organization).

My hope is that when you turn 251 next year, you will be in much better shape. I hope by then you will have weathered the storm that began in earnest in 1980 (with the election of Ronald Reagan) and picked up speed in 2025. That you will finally have realized in your soul that when we work together, we all benefit.

We can pause the news cycle to sit down and look at each other and figure out the best ways to get you in better shape. So you can continue on and be there, in all your glory, for generations to come. We must shine our brightest lights to lead the way for you to become who you were intended to be: a place where people are all on equal footing, the air and water is clean, tyrants are not tolerated, and other countries like yourself trust and believe in you.

Because I believe in you still.

As Senator Paul Wellstone from Minnesota said: “We all do better when we all do better”.

With Sincerity,

An American Woman

The song I’m sharing today is a cover of a famous Woody Guthrie song, which I think all of you are familiar with. The cover is done by an American rock band that I’m starting to dig more and more these days, My Morning Jacket.

Do yourself a favor and stop what you’re doing and revel in this masterpiece of a song, a loving ode to America.

Celebration, family, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Love, marriage, Minnesconsin, Parenthood

M.O.B. Diaries: The After

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A large sigh of relief came out of me the Sunday after last, upon returning from our overnight in a hotel following our daughter’s wedding.

The whole event went very well. Though it was hot outside at about 80 degrees, no rain poured down from the skies. Our daughter looked beautiful and everyone was happy to be there to celebrate the love between our daughter and son-in-law.

Highlights:

Seeing the groomsmen volunteer to help get Mr. NOA’s parents out of their vehicle and into their seats in the front row, then helping them up and into the vehicle when the ceremony was over. Our son-in-law danced a bit with my MIL to “Everlasting Love” as it blasted from the speakers before she was helped into the vehicle to head to the reception. I would love for someone to have caught that on video, but regardless it will remain a cherished memory for all of us who witnessed it.

My daughter pulling out her vows (turns out wedding dresses have pockets these days!) that she had, the day prior, typed up and printed at our house, and reading them aloud to her beloved for all to hear got me teared up. My son-in-law tossing the box the wedding rings came in into the woods behind the officiant felt really special to me. It was a gesture that symbolized him being done for good with his bachelor era and committing to forever with our daughter.

Our 12-year-old grandson spontaneously saying “I love you, Grandma” as the two of us were taking apart the photo backdrop at the end of the reception warmed my heart so much. Watching him run around, dancing and playing with the other kids (including his best friend) at the reception made my heart happy. Knowing how much this kid has gone through in his young life on account of his bio dad and seeing him being authentically happy and carefree is just everything to me. I’m so looking forward to the fun we’re going to have with him this summer here in Minnesconsin.

And that baby. He hardly fussed the entire time. He had his two other grandmas, along with me, a groomsman, two of my girlfriends and more cuddling him throughout the entire event. When we got to the hotel when the night was over, it was a simple “here’s your bottle kiddo” and before I knew it he was out like a light. Waking up next to an almost one-year-old in the morning is quite the delight, I discovered. Sing-songy, studying and playing with my hand and trying to put his hand in my mouth was how we started that morning.

Witnessing the beaming couple take to the dance floor as if they were truly the only two people in the room. Or on the planet really. So sweet and romantic.

Not that the whole day didn’t have a few snafus here and there. Like when I lost my footing while carrying the baby and not so gingerly plopped him in his wagon, leading him to cry as the first of the wedding party began their descent towards the alter.

Or when some of the guests overserved themselves at the bar and created a bit of a ruckus, spouting off their unsolicited opinions and being generally obnoxious. Not that any of that isn’t to be expected at a family wedding though, right?

It was perfectly imperfect.

At the risk of sounding unoriginal or like a cliche, I’d say that our daughter’s wedding was a beautiful example of “framily”. The blending of biological and non-biological family members and friends. All to witness the beginning of a marriage between soulmates. A day that we will all remember with fondness and love.

I have great hopes that this event is just the first of many spent with our new extended “framily”.

A few pics from this monumental day:

Now to share a gorgeous collaboration between Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees and Brandi Carlile. I recommend you turn up the volume and just marinate in this beauty.

Anxiety, family, gardening, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Love, marriage, Motherhood, Summer

Before the Wedding: M.O.B. Diaries

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My daughter’s wedding is on Saturday. Mr. NOA and I had our wedding anniversary to celebrate and grandsons to love on last weekend. Summer is now here and I’m filled with joy about beautifying our outdoor space. Life is just humming along for us here in Minnesconsin.

Here’s a few pics of what we have going on thus far.

As mother-of-the-bride, I’ve got a bit of anxiety about how this whole shindig is going to unfold. I’m worried about what state the farm where the ceremony is taking place is going to be in. I haven’t seen it in person yet, only a few pictures. I’m worried that accessing the precise spot where the ceremony is will be difficult because as I understand it, there’s a little hill to get down to it. I’m worried baby will cry his head off as he’s being pulled in his bedazzled-by-Grandma-and-Grandpa-wagon by his oldest brother. I’m worried it’ll be pouring rain and not everyone will fit into the barn for the ceremony.

For months now, my brain has been tuned into the wedding.com channel, so to speak. More recently I’m zigzagging between being super stoked for this momentous occasion to yearning for the time when it’s over and I can relax. It’s quite the rollercoaster.

I have a few small things to put together and remember to not forget, as there are grandkids I, along with Mr. NOA, are responsible for (not that we won’t have volunteers pitching in). And there are chin hairs to pluck and nails to trim and legs to shave. Cards and checks to sign, framed photos of loved ones to gather for the memorial display, and no doubt lists to make.

So many things could go wrong. Or go completely different than expected. So many things could go right, too. And probably will. Both wrong and right.

Yikes! I’m so wound up.

Worrying isn’t going to get me anywhere. Intellectually, I know it’s best for me to surrender and focus on what I can do, what I can control (which is not as much as I’d like it to be).

Because this is going to be a beautiful day, no matter how it all pans out. Beautiful because my daughter found her one and only who treats her with the care she deserves. Beautiful because two families are coming together as one in support of both of them and their future. Beautiful because we are all pitching in here and there, doing our parts to make it a wonderful day.

Wish us all luck and I’ll check in when I’m on the other side of this.

For your musical enjoyment, here’s a song I find terribly romantic and sent to my daughter as a possible bride/groom song to dance to but I didn’t tell her that directly because I didn’t want to sound like my mother, who was the architect of our wedding, when Mr. NOA and I were but babes. Our daughter is 10 years older than I was when we got married, has an established career and 3 kids so even if I was okay with sounding like my mother in this scenario, it wouldn’t get me very far.

And I couldn’t be prouder of my daughter for that.

Celebrate, family, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Love, Planning

Grandma is in Planning Mode

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I recently caught myself adding “make to-do lists” for various events coming up in my life on my semi-regular weekly “to-do” list.

Yes, I am neurotic. And/or ADHD.

Let’s just say I am in full-on planning mode right now, friends. I am a bit out of practice in this arena, as the last gathering I executed with more than 8 invitees was almost 10 years ago.

The nearest of these happenings is the baby shower I’m planning for my beautiful daughter, who just arrived at the third trimester of her second pregnancy. This is coming up in less than 2 weeks.

Yikes!

I’ve got games lined up. What’s a baby shower without a few goofy games, right? One of the games is an A-Z challenge where people are given a set amount of time to write down baby names. Whoever gets the most wins a prize.

Silly yet serious question: do I play a song-maybe one with the word baby in the title, or use one of the plastic hourglass timers from one of the many board games we rarely play, while folks are rapidly trying to capture every baby name they can think of on paper? I want to make sure everyone has enough, but not too much, time for this challenge.

Here’s another one: do I fulfill my hosting daydreams by baking various sweet treats to display on the beautiful tiered treat stand thing that I’m on a mission to buy this weekend? In addition to the cake I ordered yesterday from the grocery store bakery, because like those aforementioned goofy games, what’s a baby shower without a cake?

These are but a few of the thoughts that are plaguing my brain these days.

These two kids of ours-our daughter and her fiance-have not yet determined baby’s name. There have been a few (which I won’t share because one of them I really love and secretly hope they choose and I don’t want to jinx it) they have talked about, but at this point they think they’ll know baby’s name when they see his face.

Plot twist!

I wrote the above paragraph earlier in the week…and guess what? Our daughter texted me yesterday to say they have landed on a name. It is the one I favored! His name will be Levi.

From parents.com: The name Levi has become a favorite amongst new parents for being both traditional and trendy. It means “united,” “joined,” or, sometimes, “joined in harmony.”

To think that 11 years ago, I was beside myself with angst about becoming a first-time grandma at the oh-so-young age of 47!

I’ve looped in our daughter’s fiance’s mom and step-mom to help with executing this affair. I find it slightly awkward texting back and forth with them, as I’ve only met them in person a handful of times since our kids got together almost 3 years ago. But I am looking forward to interacting with my future son-in-law’s large family as time goes on. This baby shower is going to usher in the joining of our families.

Isn’t it just an amazing and beautiful thing how families evolve over time?

Enjoy this cover of a sweet song I love to sing to babies!

Adult children, bloggingfundamentals, Grandparenting, Humor

The boy who owns my heart

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I feel like I’ve spent an ample amount of time and energy writing blog posts about past experiences in my life. I’m in a really positive frame of mind today, as the sun is shining here in Colorado and I just returned from my morning neighborhood walk.  I’ve had thoughts about writing stories of my encounters with nature, furry creatures, and people I don’t yet know whom I pass by on these walks. I’ve given myself a mental directive to practice mindfulness during these walks by counting the number of bunnies in my neighborhood (highest total was surprisingly only 7). But today I found myself thinking about a little boy who owns my heart.

He’s got the most beautiful head of golden blond hair. He speaks in complete sentences now and often says the funniest things. He loves playing with toy cars, eating strawberries and cucumbers, and when he is riled up and cranky, his parents banish him to the “crabby corner”. And he still loves the “stinky feet” game I play with him. It involves him laying down on a bed or floor while I take each one of his ticklish, chunky, silky soft feet and smell them, exclaiming “Pee-you!” each time I take  a whiff. This activity elicits the most gleeful giggles I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.

I’ve had it in my mind these past few months that this summer, he was going to visit me and the hubs in Colorado. It’d be his first ride in an airplane, not surprising at the tender age of 3. He’d flirt with fellow passengers, especially those of the female persuasion. He would be mesmerized by the clouds he sees through his window seat, to the point where he’d take a sweet little snooze for a while. However, this trip is likely going to have to wait till next summer, when he’s 4, due to financial and scheduling constraints. I am going to embrace this fact and use my time between now and then to imagine/plan the adventures we will have with him next summer.

Oh, the things we will do, the places we will go!

We will take him to the Butterfly Pavilion, located not far from us. There he will check out the in house beehive and Hubs (the scientist) can tell him why bees are so important to us humans here on earth. If he’s brave enough, he will let a big, furry spider sit in his hands while one of the employees tells him what spiders eat and about their natural habitat. He will walk through their amazing butterfly garden, with the sun streaming through the windows and ceiling. Maybe a butterfly will land on his foot, like one did for me when I last visited. We will be sure to dress him in something bright and colorful that day to increase the chance this will happen.

The Downtown Aquarium in Denver is likely to be very exciting for him as well. There I imagine he will cling to my legs as we approach the flood exhibit. He may cover his little ears because it gets pretty loud. The water will likely splash him a little bit, which will cause him to shriek with excitement. He will have lots of questions at the Aquarium to be sure, like “what is that?” and the favorite toddler question “Why?”.  He will giggle and point at the otters who flip and flop and glide through the water while simultaneously keeping their little eyes on the humans who are delighting in their antics.

Most certainly, he will be exposed to the wonder that is Rocky Mountain National Park. Hubs will need to take his Nikon to get shots of this little man exploring all the naturally stunning beauty to be found there. Beforehand, Hubs can take him to buy his own pint sized fishing pole. Then I can get some shots of Hubs teaching the little guy how to fish. A hike would also have to be on the itinerary, though with a 3 year old it shan’t be one that is overly long or challenging. It’ll probably involve a stop along the way to have a picnic lunch. I’ll have to pack some of those disgusting-but-loved-by toddlers mashed fruit pouches, peanut butter sandwiches, and juice boxes. And lots of handi-wipes of course.

Hubs and I will scope out the best parks with playground equipment within a 10 mile radius and visit them with the kiddo. We will take him to church, where he can meet our new church family and hear some great music. We will take him to the Science Museum in Denver, to which we have not yet been. And we’ll take him to one of our lovely Farmer’s Markets and encourage him to sample new and foreign-to-him foods, and capture his reaction. We will take him to a water and/or amusement park, accompanying him on rides which he is tall enough to be on.

This child of which I speak is our grandson Christopher. He makes my heart burst with happiness whenever I am with him. The highlight of this summer for me will no doubt be times spent with him when we visit Wisconsin in July. It’s hard to imagine there was actually a time, not long ago, when I was so caught up in my own self-image that I told everyone that while indeed, my daughter was having her own baby, I would not be called “Grandma”. Time (and love) has such an awesome way of changing one’s perspective, does it not?

bloggingfundamentals, Inspire, marriage

On Marriage

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On May 26 of this year, Hubs and I will have been married for 27 years. I think the wisdom we have gained in all that time has resulted in our marriage being stronger now than it ever was. It also doesn’t hurt that we are empty nesters living in Colorado. We have had our ups and downs, as all married couples do. Times when I was so furious with him that I found myself calling him not so nice names and he slammed cupboard doors. Times when disagreements about our kids got very overheated. Times when one of us got a raise or bonus at work, and we went out for dinner and drinks to commemorate the moment. Times when we got out into our boat on the Mississippi River and silently marveled at its beauty together. Times when we were so poor that we couldn’t scrape enough coins from under the tattered couch cushions to afford to rent a movie at the local convenience store for $1.99.

We have essentially grown up together. We have been together for longer than we haven’t. It’s really quite mind blowing when I think of it that way.

The most valuable piece of marital advice we received was given to us by a nurse in the hospital the day after giving birth to our first born, back in 1992. She implored us to keep our marriage the #1 priority. She explained that while we were now a family of 3, we needed to maintain focus on our marriage so that we could become a strong parental unit and set a good example for our kids. This advice stuck with us. We hired babysitters or took the kids to grandma and grandpa’s house as often as we possibly could.

I think most of the tricks on how to be successful at this marriage thing came gradually, through trial and error over all these years. I’ll share the ones I feel are most important.

Give each other a break when you can. Practice kindness on a daily basis.

Participate in activities the two of you equally enjoy as often as you can. We especially enjoy the quieter moments, like going out fishing or for a hike. Or to a cool, casual place for dinner or a cocktail.

Communicate often and as clearly as possible. Listen with an open heart. Know when to shut up and just let your partner vent.

Give your spouse lots of hugs.

Don’t let yourself go to bed angry at your spouse. You will not sleep well, if at all. And whatever you were angry about is still going to be there in the morning. Just hash things out as best you can.

Give each other space sometimes. No one is truly going to be happy feeling like their spouse is attached to them at the hip. We all need our alone time.

Acknowledge when your spouse has done something well. Thank them often. Everyone needs to feel appreciated. It’s human nature.

Be a considerate roommate. Don’t leave your dirty dishes or underwear lying around. Offer to do the dishes if your spouse has done the cooking.

Always remember you are a team. Imagine if your life together was a business. Love, mutual respect, and friendship are the foundation. Both partners have a stake in this business and work with each other, day in and day out, in order to achieve mutually desired success. One partner may have skills that you simply don’t possess. Likewise, you may have skills your partner doesn’t. Once you have a good handle on what those skills are, you and your spouse are equipped with the wisdom to successfully solve problems as a unit. This comes in especially handy when parenting your spawn.

Strive to keep things interesting! Go on spontaneous adventures together. Jump in the car in the morning and head out to parts unknown, even if just for the day. Hubs and I have so many great memories of days when our only goals were to see and/or do something new to both of us and to have as much fun as possible.

With a little luck, Hubs and I will be married for another 27 years. There will be more ups and downs, ones that will be expected as part of life and ones that will completely throw us for a loop. That is life. You take the good with the bad. I take much comfort in knowing that I have my best friend, the one who loves and accepts all sides of me, the one who makes me laugh the hardest, who makes me think the deepest, and the one I trust more than anyone in the world, with me through it all.

Adult children, bloggingfundamentals, Humor, Motherhood

Dear Moms

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Dear moms of children ages 12-22,

It gets better. You don’t have to take my word for it, but you should. I have been in your shoes. I’ve experienced unnecessary dressing room drama, engaged in numerous battles over the refusal to eat lovely and nutritious meals put in front of my children (child really-you know who you are), and hosted multiple obnoxious “friends” for sleep overs.

And I survived it all. Fortunately my two kids came out relatively unscathed as well.

These two children I speak of are not perfect. Neither achieved straight A’s in any grade between 1st through 12th. Neither were gifted athletes (they can thank my genes for this as one who was consistently picked last for team sports in gym class back in the day and cannot safely ride a bike). Neither were hard workers.

Slowly but surely though, between the ages of about 21 and 24, I started to see them shine. My oldest managed to graduate with her Associates degree from technical college at the age of 23, while simultaneously juggling a full time job at a fast food chain and becoming a mother for the first time. My youngest, the artist in the family, bounced around a few places (including a stint in college which lasted a solid two years), before landing in Indianapolis where she is making a (albeit meager)  living on her art. She also learned how to speak Japanese and spent time there during her college years.

These two former knotheads are now hardworking, appreciative, resilient, intelligent and thoughtful young adults. I treasure my relationships with them now and am beyond proud of who they are becoming.

If anyone had been able to foresee the future back in about 2008 in respect to my children, I can’t say for certain I would have believed them. At the time, I figured clown college or digging ditches were more likely in their future than what they have now achieved at ages 23 and 24.

Instead, they went and surpassed my expectations. Kids are full of surprises.

So, hang in there moms. It will get better despite what may or may not be occurring in the present. You’ve got this. SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA