Monthly Archives: March 2023

Ambition, Community, Dreams, Employment, Fashion, Inspiration, Life, Small Business, Storytelling

Moms and Pops

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In my online search for writing fodder, I learned that today is “National Mom and Pops Business Owners Day”.

Have you ever heard of this before? I’m guessing not. I hadn’t either.

Finding out about this national day made me think of my own “mom and pop”. I know I’ve mentioned in past blog posts that my parents, Bonnie and Babe, were small business owners for many years. A women’s clothing store, to be exact.

Prior to my parents ownership of the business, it had been known as “Kay’s Clothes Bar”, on account of the building’s history of housing, you guessed it, a bar.

The name, of course, was changed once my parents took it over.

A keepsake

How the store became theirs is remarkable.

When my mom, at 42, was gabbing with her girlfriends one day in 1979, one of them posed the question “if you could own your own business, what would it be?” Bonnie responded with “I would own Kay’s Clothes Bar”.

That was on a Thursday.

While out and about on that following Saturday morning, my dad called my mom and asked if she was serious about wanting to have a clothing store, and she said yes, she was indeed. Dad had learned that morning that “Kay’s” was up for sale.

So together they forged ahead with becoming small business owners. Dad was on strike from his job at the mining company at the time, so this venture was a huge leap of faith.

Me, at 16, posing in the store

Though Dad had a great mathematical mind, he hadn’t gone to college (neither did Mom). Fortunately that mattered not, because his pragmatism, work ethic, and desire to keep Mom happy worked in concert with his accounting skills to see them through 15 years of being successful small business owners.

One thing that Mom took pride in was her ability to remain current. I think she was a young soul, really, because of her committed interest in staying on top of things. On top of fashion trends, on top of the news of the day, on top of whatever was going on in our little town. She didn’t miss a thing.

She was a social being who was happiest among others. She loved visiting with her customers, creating beautiful displays to “wow” them, and sharing her fashion expertise.

I very much relate to these aspects of Bonnie. So much so that as I sit here writing this post, I’ve been periodically glancing out the window at our “man cave”, (the name will be changing to something that’s not a cliche), thinking up ways to decorate and furnish it as it is to be (at least in part) a fun gathering spot for neighborhood parties and family get-togethers.

Yet lately I’ve started day dreaming about what kind of business I could run in this space. You see, I’m slowly but surely honing in on what it is I’m going to do, work-wise. And there’s so much potential, right here. I could section off a portion of the building for an office for myself to pursue paid creative writing projects or open it up as a non-profit food pantry. Or do something altogether different with this space.

At the risk of sounding like a total flake here, I believe that while I fancy the notion of operating my own small business, I can’t say definitively that working for someone else is out of the question for me. For the right job, the one in which I can use the skills I possess to help others, I would consider being someone’s employee again.

Of course, that would be the easy choice. Much less risky.

It makes me wonder, what would Bonnie and Babe think?

So, I’ve given myself a project this spring. I’m having a garage sale. Over the last several weeks, I’ve been methodically going through all of our stuff and determining what we no longer need. I’ve been going on Pinterest for ideas on how to put on the best garage sale possible.

I figure this is a good way for me to practice having a small business. It also gives me something to focus on as the time I have to spend watching our grandson lessens.

But back to Bonnie and Babe.

I don’t think I realized until the last few years just how much my parents teamwork and individual contributions as small business owners shaped who I am as an adult. How I think, what I dream about, and how I want to live in community with others.

My hard-working parents had so many adventures together in mid-life on account of being small business owners. Financially, they were successful at it, putting me through college and funding their vacations both inside and outside the U.S.

But perhaps even more importantly, they enjoyed running the store together. They took pride in it. They developed meaningful friendships they may not have otherwise developed. They made a positive impact on our community.

Back when I was going through pictures, just prior to moving back to Wisconsin from Colorado last year, I came upon a treasure. It was a clipping from our hometown newspaper of an article about my parents as they were fixing to close up shop and retire.

Retirement came a few years earlier than they had planned, as a dispute with the owner of the building over the lease had developed. They came to the conclusion that it was time to close up shop as a result.

However, Bonnie and Babe retained their great attitudes, with Bonnie commenting to the reporter in the article “As unfortunate as this is, it’s not a tragedy; no one’s dying, we still have each other”. To which Babe responded “if this is as tough as it gets, we’ve got it made”.

Cheers to all of you small business owners out there on this national day. May your customers be loyal, may you stay the course, and may you flourish!

Entertainment, family, Family Dynamics, Fun, Game Shows, Humor, Psychology, Television

8 Reasons Why You Need to Watch This

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In the last few months, Hubs and I have been amusing ourselves by watching Family Feud (with “your man” Steve Harvey) in the early evenings.

The two of us have a pretty short list of the shows we have gotten into together over the years, and for many of them, we only made it to just beyond the middle of the series, if that.

But then there’s Family Feud (with Steve Harvey): a game show pitting two American families against each other to win an amount of money, after taxes, which covers most of the cost of travel/hotel/meals for them if they’re lucky.

These are the things, perhaps because of my social work background, that I think about sometimes when I watch the show with Hubs. I hope for their sakes that none of them wind up in the negative financially as a result of their participation.

So I got a little side-tracked there. My apologies.

But, you know what, and I say this on account of my rosy-shaded lenses, I imagine that if you were to interview members of these families shortly after their experience on this hilarious and life-affirming half-hour American game show, they’d tell you that they had so much fun. Not only while taping the show together as a unit, but the getting there. The great seafood they had the night before at the restaurant across from their hotel. The brief, perhaps awkward and funny, conversations they may have had prior to taping with someone from the other family’s team.

Anyway, that’s my theory. Pardon my verbosity.

Truthfully, I’ve just got so much to say about what I think, feel, and wonder about this show, I should just find some fan club online so I can really geek out about it.

Excuse me while I imagine a scenario in which I’ve befriended legit fans who are real and decent people and together we form a weekly Zoom gathering during which we watch one episode together and gab about it as we go.

Fun, fun, fun!!

Ok, I’ll end this post with the most important point of all, which is why YOU, yes YOU, need to DVR (that’s how these Gen X’ers do it), stream, or simply watch Family Fued in real time with Steve Harvey ASAP.

Consider it a pitch, if you will.

8 Reasons Why YOU need to watch FFWSH (or fwish, if you prefer):

  • Because diversity is awesome! You get a more clear picture of the diversity of American families in the here and now when you watch it.
  • Steve Harvey’s ad-libbing and the faces he makes. He is a comedic genius, to me, with his deadpan responses or imitations of other family members’ potential reactions to the contestant’s answers.
  • The questions! But MY biggest question about the questions is thus: Who are and where do they find the people being surveyed? Ok, yes, this question is a two-parter, I realize, but come on! I have theories, let’s just say. It’d be interesting to find out if they were baseless or not.
  • The answers! How I see it is that there is one of two ways the almost always bonkers questions can be answered: from a completely subjective point of view (as in, how you would answer if someone came up to you in the cereal aisle of the grocery store and asked you this question), or from a more objective point of view (as in, how you think this random group of 100 married men would respond to the question).
  • “Your Man” Steve Harvey’s impeccable suits (most of them anyway-critiquing them is something I’ve been known to engage in while viewing this show).
  • The simplicity of it. Anyone can play! Not necessarily well, mind you. There is often that one contestant that’s either jet-legged or overly nervous or terribly hard of hearing or whatever, who gives the strangest possible answer. And it’s hilarious, because once in a while that “strangest possible answer” is on the board!
  • The fashion! I appreciate that the families on the show, in the majority of cases, put careful thought into what outifts they are going to wear. They typically wear a matching color scheme, have treated themselves to manicures, and put on their best ties or dresses. It’s maybe a little of a throwback to days long ago, when people were first experiencing air travel. They dressed to the nines to commemorate the exciting event.
  • You get just a little peak into family dynamics. Maybe that sounds voyeuristic, but it’s interesting to me. Seeing the love, the trust, the support displayed between family members gives me good vibes. Witnessing a truly surprising reaction via body language to an answer another family member comes up with can be hilarious.

And now, a little song and dance courtesy of You Tube and Sister Sledge. Check out those chic matching outfits!

Friendships, Humor, Life, marriage, Self-Reflection, Time Management

Chronically Tardy

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Who’s chronically late out there?

I’m pokey. I take forever to get things done. To get my ass in gear.

I know I am not the only one.

My chronic tardiness annoys the hell out of people, especially the Hubs, who is very punctual.

Bless his heart, he’s put up with this for over 33 years.

Virtually anyone who knows me IRL will say that having a relationship with me, the kind where you go places in public together, requires patience.

I’ve become more self-aware in the last year, however, which is why I aim to be purposefully patient when I’m interacting with others. Whether it’s my immediate family, the neighbor I just met in my driveway, or my favorite female friends, I try to pay it back.

Yet, my frequent tardiness causes unnecessary stress. I don’t like feeling like I’m disappointing people. But know this: I’m continually running late not because I don’t value your presence and don’t have a feeling of adrenaline running through me in anticipation of whatever we’re doing together.

I like to think those who know me best sense this vibe coming out of me every which way in these moments and choose to love me anyway.

I believe my chronic tardiness is how I’m wired.

Bear with me here.

I was born late. About 6 or 7 years late, I’d say, based on what my Mom told me often when she was still alive.

I was the baby my parents hoped and tried for, after my sister was born. I just took my sweet time getting here. I was born just a bit over 8 years after her.

It stands to reason that my late arrival into this world has at least something to do with my chronic lateness. It’s a theory anyway. Not an excuse, mind you, but an explanation.

I kid you not: I recently perused my old high school yearbook. On one page, there was what can only be referred to as a rambling mess of inside jokes written by, I imagine, a small group of nerdy yearbook kids. At the end of this “piece” is written “and Rhonda K is still eating lunch”.

That, of course, was me they were referring to.

I read an article on NPR earlier this year about chronic lateness. I found it really interesting, and you may as well. Click here for the link.

According to the article, time is a social construct. How cultures view time varies, though essentially one’s view is either “event” based or “clock” based. I clearly fall more into the “event based” camp. If I tell you I’m going to meet up with you today at 11 a.m., I will meet up with you. I’m never one of those “no show” people. Yet, perhaps largely because I am an American living in the U.S., I understand and appreciate those in the “clock based” crowd.

Would you consider yourself “clock” based or “event” based when it comes to time? And what do you make of it?

While you consider those questions, I hope you take the time to enjoy this “timely” cover of a fantastic pop song by Chicago, “Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?”

***Header image courtesy of https://quotesgram.com/late-funny-quotes/