Category Archives: Ambition

Ambition, Arts and Crafts, Changes, Clarity, Education, Employment, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Self-Reflection, Work, Writing

Liberal Arts Grandma ISO Meaningful Work

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The level of clarity I have about life, mine of course, but also general life, if you know what I mean, has increased significantly in the last year.

This is on account of all the changes. The cross country move, the new lifestyle and routine, our daughter and grandson overcoming so much and blossoming in their new environment.

I’m feeling settled in here now. At a point of reflection, just gobsmacked over the changes that had to occur and the choices that had to be made to get me and (most of) my beloved crew here, living 15 minutes from each other in this 4 season wonderland that is Minnesconsin.

Not that life is perfect; I’m just marinating in this feeling of being “settled”.

However, I know I can’t marinate indefinitely. Nor do I want to.

Paid employment is beckoning me at the moment. I’m itching to get back at it. But I’m still in charge of the now 9 year old at least a few afternoons per week, and I’m seeing that this might continue through the school year.

So, paid employment for me is kind of on the back burner for now.

That’s ok however, because I have yet to figure out what it is exactly I want to or can do and be paid for it. This the one big thing I don’t yet have clarity on.

Example: I opted for a free upgrade recently on LinkedIn. I thought it would be helpful for me to engage more on that site. However, when I went to update my profile, I was prompted to describe the kind of job I am looking for.

I blanked. I literally didn’t realize until that moment that I don’t know exactly what kind of job I want. So, I stopped right there and shortly after canceled my upgrade to prevent myself from being charged a monthly fee.

I might go back to it, upgrade it again. Once I figure out what kind of job I’m looking for, that is.

In my fantasy life, the job of my dreams (you know, the one that allows me to work part time writing and supporting others in various ways to move forward and achieve their hearts desire) just shows up. It appears out of thin air and I gratefully latch onto it and thank my lucky stars.

But that is not how it works. Ever.

Not that I’m not a believer in manifestation, but I know I’ve got to put some work into it. Take some action.

While I ponder paid employment, I’m hell bent on being more active. Physically, mentally, and intellectually. What’s cool about this for me is that I’ve got a sidekick. My grandson needs to be engaged in learning so he can move forward and so do I.

That means my “job” right now is to learn and grow with him. I refuse to put on a teacher hat when he’s here because it’s important to me that my role as his Grandma remains intact for him.

That compels me to think outside the box. To figure out how to engage him without saying words like “learn” or “teach” in his presence. He balks when those words are uttered. So I have to be a little sneaky about it, kind of like those parents who whirl veggies in a blender and put it in the muffins they’re baking for the kids.

I like the notion of being the “liberal arts” Grandma. She who engages her grandchild’s artistic and creative tendencies in a way that sheds new light into his brain and heart.

Image courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/17170042308639399/

One thing I did recently with him is to ask him to teach me how to do oragami, something I know he’s good at and likes to do. As a kid with ADHD, he needs to keep his hands busy pretty much all the time. He was very receptive to it and seemed to appreciate my suggestion that one of the pieces of oragami I created could be turned into a piece of art, like a picture frame.

So, my new theory is that both he and I can learn together via arts and crafts projects. That can be my contribution to his education.

Pinterest, here I come!

Ambition, Blogging, GenX, Imagination, Music, Positivity, Self Help, Self Improvement

What Fascinates You?

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As a Gen X er, the 1980’s was the decade that saw me through the ages of 13 through 22. Music was a huge part of that experience for me. Much of that time, though, I was listening to songs and artists from the 1970’s. The music of the 1970’s sounded better to my ears, and still does.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a few favorite songs that were put out in the 80’s.

One, in particular, has my attention again. On account of self-help maven Martha Beck.

It’s the song “Fascination” by The Human League.

Back to Martha Beck.

For years now, I’ve been really into self-help books, as well as articles written by Martha and the like. Late in 2022, I saw an ad online for a free self-help “Master Class” led by Ms. Beck. I signed up for it and am currently 40 minutes into it (it’s an hour long and I’m not a dummy, I know it’s free so that I can be bombarded with pleas in my email box to sign up for costly self-help courses).

Anyway. I think of myself as a DIY’er when it comes to self help books and courses. From these, I take a little bit of this and a little bit of that, leaning into the nuggets that speak to me.

What caught my attention so far in this course is Martha’s idea of what the word “fascination” means and the importance it holds for finding your path in life. How I see it is that the “path” = my livelihood.

She describes fascination as “attention without effort”. That makes a lot of sense, don’t you think?

We all have those things that we can just focus on and marinate in without even trying, right? Topics, activities, concepts, fields of study.

I’ve got myself a draft folder in which I’ve started a list of the things that fascinate me. It’s going to be a long list that will evolve over time. I think it’ll be worth the effort. Especially if I do something with it afterwards.

What would be on your list of “fascinations”?

Blogging about things that fascinate me is a no-brainer. It’s an opportunity to fly my “freak flag” so to speak; to explore and experiment.

Other potential actions I could take based on pursuing that which fascinates me also fascinates me. Maybe if I follow those threads of fascination, I will unlock a skill or talent I didn’t know I had which will lead to new career opportunities. Or maybe it’ll simply provide me with some solid writing fodder.

As long I’m learning something new, it’s all good.

If you didn’t want to check out the video I shared here, let me tell you what resonated for me, as I gave my shoulders a workout while chair dancing to this song just now.

That would be these lyrics: “just looking for a new direction, in an old familar way, the forming of a new connection, to study or to play”. It’s a good way of describing what I’m trying to do here on this blog in 2023.

And you? Any song lyrics that speak to you, particularly in your blogging life?

Please share in the comments!

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Creative Writing, Employment, Humor, Self Improvement

Ambition, Anxiety, and 2023

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I am just one of a multitude of personal bloggers out there in the world. But I think what makes me unique is that I’m saddled with a complex that comedian Michelle Wolf is at least partially responsible for.

During a stand up special I watched a while back, she said something to the effect of “So you tell me you have a blog, right?”. She makes a weird face, then continues with “Oh, that’s cute. You write stuff about yourself and your life that nobody wants to read but you put it out there anyway? Good for you!” This, from my recollection, was said with a big fat smirk on her cute little curly headed face.

Don’t get me a wrong-I got over her chipmunk-ey voice enough to enjoy her comedy. She has that quality that, to me, marks a truly great comedian: she pushes boundaries and speaks uncomfortable truths. And I applaud her sensible yet hip footwear choices.

But…..ouch! I resemble her remarks.

I am curious though; can anyone else relate to the feeling of being called out like this? Totally rational as it was not a one on one conversation I had with Ms. Wolf here, right? Like being seen for who you are, but not in a good way, making you want to immediately crawl back into the hole of complete social obscurity?

If this sounds like you, please share your stories in the comments. Commiserating with you all is a huge perk for me as a blogger.

Moving on (oblivious of course to the possibility that I’m simply proving Michelle Wolf right).

I blogged in this space pretty sporadically in 2022. I blogged about the massive changes the year brought for me and my family, some aspects getting more emphasis than others. This year, I’ve shared my political opinions. I’ve talked about my grandson in this space.

For those of you who have read what I wrote in this space in 2022 and chose to come back and read more and/or gave me a follow, I thank you so very much for that. It’s appreciated.

2023 is now upon us.

I’ve got a lot of ambition when it comes to blogging and writing. I am certain that if I don’t step it up now, I won’t ever get to wherever it is that I’m supposed to be as a creative writing enthusiast.

So, 2023 is the year in which I step things up.

Baby steps, of course. But like, a ton of them.

Step #1 is to publish blog posts more frequently.

Leaning into learning is what I’ll be doing in the new year, in tandem with blogging. Gobbling up more self-help books. Taking online courses and following threads that pique my curiosity. Improving my photography skills. Gaining more knowledge about child psychology. Stuff like that. Learning about the things that I can use for good, if that makes sense.

I’ve also got a plan to improve my health by sharpening my culinary skills and keeping a food diary. I will be pursuing paid employment in 2023 as well, because at 55 I’m not interested in retiring yet. Exploring all employment options (self, at home, in a store or a non-profit) and blogging about it along the way will be happening.

The caveat for me is that going into 2023, I will continue watching my grandson most weekday afternoons. To make any headway on these plans of mine, I need to summon a great amount of self-discipline. My days will need to become more structured. I do have a plan for that. It starts with having a better sleep schedule and a set time for blogging related stuff every day.

2023 feels bright and shiny to me right now. That’s probably due to my optimistic nature. I am self-aware enough though to know the shine of the new year will fade over time. Bumps in the road will happen, as they do. I (and you) ought to remain nimble to overcome and adjust.

I realize this post was a lot. If you’re still reading this, well, thanks Pal.

You are the best.

**pic of Michelle Wolf wearing cool shoes courtesy of https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/michelle_wolf_joke_show**

**HNY image courtesy of https://www.rd.com/article/new-year-wishes/**

Aging, Ambition, Careers, Confidence, Dreams, Hope, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Positivity, Self-Reflection

Late Bloomer

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“It doesn’t matter when you bloom, it matters that you do”. This is a lyric in the song “Late Bloomer” by The Secret Sisters.

Isn’t it powerful? Sweet, comforting, encouraging?

I can relate to the message of this song. I feel that in a lot of ways, I am a “late bloomer”. Especially considering how long it took me to obtain my license as a social worker.

I was 40.

As a freshman English major at a state university in the 1980’s, I took an elective class entitled “Social Welfare”. Within probably a couple of months, I changed my major to Social Work. The idea of getting out there in the world and helping people in a tangible way really appealed to me. Learning more about the injustices in the world made me want to get out there and make a difference in struggling people’s lives. To fight for the rights of the disadvantaged.

I was going to be a Social Worker.

Fast forward about 20 years. I hadn’t achieved that goal yet. Upon graduating with my B.S. in Social Work, I found myself in great need of employment, as Hubs was still in school and only able to work part time. I was unable to find a job in Social Work in our college town, so I found myself working full time as a customer service rep.

Then came my first pregnancy, a short stint in Lubbock, Texas so Hubs could attend grad school, and then a very unexpected second pregnancy. We moved on back to Minnesota at that point so we could be closer to family while we navigated our journey to becoming a family of four.

Life for about the next eight years was a blur of Hubs working rotating shifts forecasting the weather and us doing our best to keep our kids fed, healthy, and safe. The only ambition I had was to earn money to ensure we could maintain a decent standard of living. My dream of becoming a social worker was put on the back burner and I fell into a couple more customer service jobs.

But the dream never really died. After being relocated to Wisconsin for a new job for Hubs, I was hired as a case manager for a non-profit which served adults with intellectual and physical disabilities. Finally I had an opportunity to work in the field that meant something to me. I made a lot of great friends and gained valuable experience in the eight years I worked there. The dream truly re-kindled itself during a staffing I attended for one of my clients with their social worker. I had an epiphany: there was nothing this social worker had over me other than a license.

So right around my 40th birthday, I drove to a nearby city and took and passed the test. I had never felt so confident about myself or more in charge of my future than I did in that moment.

I went on to have a great eight years working as a certified Social Worker at a managed care organization, serving adults with physical and intellectual disabilities as well as those with mental health diagnoses. I found myself using the skills and experience I gained in my customer service jobs as well as my case manager job.

I may not be working as a social worker any longer, but I’m blessed to be in a position where I’m connecting people in need to the food they and their families require to thrive, as a food pantry coordinator.

Who else out there identifies as a late bloomer? I’d absolutely love to hear your stories in the comments.

And of course, I’m sharing the song. The video is beyond precious.

*****Header image courtesy of https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/do-good-things-come-to-late-bloomers/

Ambition, Books, Clarity, Hope, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Wisdom

About 2021

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In years past I have ushered in the new year with gusto. With great big plans, ideas, intentions. Not so much this year.

That said, I do remain an optimist. I don’t foresee that ever changing. However, after 2020, I’m a little wiser. More cautious. More realistic. More measured in how I approach things.

So I’m not going to tell you all about the 4 things I intend am determined to do wish to have the time to master in 2021. I’m keeping that to myself for the moment.

I’m going into this year with my head on straight. As if I’m walking into a dark room I am unfamiliar with. Keeping my wits about me. Taking careful, slow, steps. Lowering my expectations to prevent disappointment. Using all of my senses to navigate this new year.

The one thing I am going to be intentionally focusing on now that the new year is upon us: doing my best each and every day (from the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, which I wrote about here but not about this particular agreement, but whatever).

I think it’s worthwhile, as one who is taking the agreement of “doing your best” seriously, to ponder what that looks like. What does it mean for me personally?

One of my most inexcusable faults is that I am rarely on time for anything. I consistently fall into this weird mind trap, when I’m getting ready to go somewhere, of believing that I have time to do just one more thing before I hit the road. And I’m wrong about that 99% of the time. So I’m ‘fessing up. I know it pisses some people off when I waltz in 5 (or more) minutes late. It calls negative attention to myself and I need to Cut.It.Out. I’ve started focusing on getting places on time for real in the last couple of weeks. I think thus far I’ve made it on time about 25% more frequently than before. Give or take.

There are other areas in my life, well really all areas in my life, where I must do my best each day. Like putting in my best effort at work. Not putting any tasks off until “tomorrow” that I have the time and energy to do today. Listening to others when they speak and not hesitating to ask for clarification to ensure I understood what they meant.

Thing is, doing my best each day is within my control. And if I can look back on my day and agree with myself that I did my best, regardless of my mood, if I felt rested, or if I was tested-well, then I won’t have any regrets. And peace will reign within me.

Alphabet Soup Challenge, Ambition, Dancing, Dreams, Fun, Humor, Life, Music, Self Improvement

Alphabet Soup Challenge: Z Is For Zumba

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On the off-chance that you’ve never heard of this fitness craze, let me break it down for you.

Zumba is a group dance workout that utilizes world music. It’s high energy and fun. It gets your heart pumping and tends to cause profuse sweating.

I participated in Zumba classes for a few months back in Wisconsin about 8 years ago (mentioned in this post). I absolutely loved it. That’s not to say that I was “good” at it. I’ve been told that I’m a great dancer-but not on the Zumba floor. Because Zumba requires one to mimic the moves of the instructor. At a very rapid pace. My arms and legs don’t work together very gracefully unless I’m doing my own thing. Free-styling, if you will.

During the few weeks between my last job and my current job, I made a pact with myself that I was going to use that time for some self-improvement. I decided that I would start with improving my physical self by getting in some regular exercise.

So I found some videos of Zumba classes on YouTube, pushed my coffee table back a bit, and got my groove on.

Things did not go as I hoped they would.

There didn’t seem to be as many full class videos on You Tube as I thought there’d be. So I was going from dance to dance, different instructors each time, with ads between. Plus Radar was around, getting in my way. In fact, one time while I was “zumba-ing” I jumped on his paw because I didn’t see him there and he yelped in response.

After three attempts at my in home Zumba experiment, I came to the realization that it was just not gonna work.

But I have hope for my future with Zumba. One of my WIPs (Wildly Improbably Goals, a coined termed by writer Martha Beck) is to become a Zumba instructor. With the caveat that the classes I lead are only for those 50 and up. Who are beginners.

I would include simple choreography. Not too much jumping and not too fast-paced. I would have the best soundtrack, but it would not be dominated by world music. Maybe some, here and there. Mostly we would be zumba-ing to a variety of classic rock with a little adult alternative in the mix. The songs we all grew up with and the cool songs of the moment. The ones that have a good beat, making them easy to dance to.

Free-styling will be part of each number we do.

This WIP of mine is obviously not going to happen anytime soon, thanks to Covid-19 restrictions on group gatherings. But that’s just fine by me. I’ve got my plate just full enough at the moment, with running the new food pantry and this blog.

Lucky for me, I’m able to get in plenty of exercise in my work day at this point in time.

***Header image courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/194006696430951042/

Adult children, Alphabet Soup Challenge, Ambition, Blogging, Employment, Happiness, Honesty, Imagination, Life, Mantronyms, Positivity

Alphabet Soup Challenge: H is For Honesty

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I’ve been accused of being honest “to a fault” by various people throughout my life.

Anyone else out there that has experienced this accusation?

Not the “I’m just being honest” type of honest, mind you. You know, that passive aggressive way in which a person tells you that your new haircut makes you look like Joe Dirt.

For me, it’s more of a not-always-thinking-before-I-speak or my facial expression after a comment you just made gave me away. Because I’m just a terrible liar. Lying doesn’t suit me. I can’t do it to save my life.

What’s nice for me, within this little blog, is that it is a space for me to honestly express what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling. In a controlled sort of way, because after all, I am editor-in-chief and in charge of pressing the “publish” button in these parts.

So let me be honest with you all.

I’m honestly happy with my life right now. And I honestly believe that could change at any second. Because, well, life.

So I’m soaking up the goodness.

I started a new job over two weeks ago now. The reason I was hired is because I have experience running a food pantry and the lovely lady who hired me wants to get one up and running in her non-profit.

I honestly love working there. I love that I have autonomy. I love knowing that I am listened to and supported. I love working with people who work hard. I love that there’s a variety of tasks to do each day and that not every day is a carbon copy of the day before.

I also honestly do not want to jinx it. I want to continue working hard and be honest with myself and my boss and co-workers when I’m struggling. I want to be honest in all my communications with everyone involved. I honestly want to succeed.

That’s honestly all I want to say about my current employment right now. And it’s all I honestly needed to say.

The other subject I want to be honest about is my creative writing via this blog. I sincerely love doing this. I have no illusions (perhaps hope though) that I’m going to hit the “big time” some day as a writer.

Honestly, I’m in this blogging thing for fun. To make friends. To brighten someone’s day at least once in a while. To get things off my chest. To connect. To socialize. To learn. To grow. To improve.

Let me use my favorite “Macronym” right now: KISS. The “Keep it specific, sister” version.

An appetizer in list form of what I honestly want to do and/or write about once I’ve finished my “Alphabet Soup Challenge” follows.

  1. Write a letter to someone I admire. Embrace the fandom. Writing about it later may or may not happen. That’s not the point.
  2. Capture in writing a conversation about the state of the world in this moment with the Millenials in my life. That would be my previously-known-as-spawn aka Kid #2 and Kid#1. Now outed as Rabbie and (just for now) the Eldest.
  3. Interview my 6 year old grandson about life as he knows it.
  4. Continue writing posts about all the “Gems”.

So fellow bloggers-what are the specific topics you honestly want to write about in the near future?

52nd Street was one of the first albums I ever bought. This song has always spoken to me.

***Header image courtesy of http://www.flourishtherapy.co.uk/9-reasons-why-honesty-works/

Ambition, Careers, Employment, Female Empowerment, Friends, Humor, Life, Women, Work

Gems In The Workplace

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You might recall in this post that my definition of a “Gem” is a highly prized and well beloved female human who has, in no particular order, inspired me, loved me, liked me, taught me, cried with me, laughed with me, challenged me, accepted me, shared with me, and cared with me.

In my adult work life, which spans from around 1987 to the current, I’ve been fortunate to know several “Gems”.

I concur, Victoria

Sam was the first great friend I made in a work setting: I didn’t know her name at the time; I only knew that she had been there longer than me and carried herself with confidence. She waltzed over to me as I was sitting at my desk and asked if I had any lipstick on me. She was heading to a meeting and wanted to look her best. I was able to provide the requested lipstick and she thanked me.

She remains one of my very best friends.

Sam and two other “Gems” shared an over-sized office with me for about 5 years. All of these gals were younger than me by 8-10 years. Looking back, I think their youthful ambition and passion for the work we were doing (case managers serving intellectually and physically disabled adults) was great motivation for me. We were a fabulous team, the four of us, ready to cover for each other when needed and brainstorming for solutions to challenges we faced with our participants or fellow co-workers.

We still connect via Facebook and once in a while in person (despite living in three different states).

Another “Gem” at work was a nurse whose cubicle was near enough to mine that she could overhear my phone conversations with my members. One time I had a particularly challenging phone call where the client was yelling and using all kinds of cuss words to express his displeasure at whatever I said “no” to funding for him. Later that day, this nurse slipped me a note with a smiley face on it and wrote “You are a Saint” on it.

That same nurse, months later, called me out when she overheard me with yet another challenging client. She asked me to come over to her cube where she directly and gently told me that she could hear the frustration in my voice during that call. She suggested going forward I ought to be mindful of how I was coming across on the phone. While embarrassed, I took that suggestion to heart. From then on, I paid more attention to my tone when on phone calls with people who were jumping on my last nerve.

So in the end, I appreciated her constructive criticism. Sometimes you have to hear hard things about yourself and let that fuel you to be better.

A more recent “Gem” at work for me was the gal who drove me to pick up food for the food bank I was running. On those trips, we talked about our life ambitions and sometimes shared our favorite songs. One time, we returned to my food bank to find the large sheet cake we had placed on the tippy-top of the food pyramid had flipped over, landing frosting side first onto the floor of the truck. We couldn’t bear to let the entire cake go to waste, so we laughed our heads off while scarfing down the unsoiled part of the cake with our bare hands.

My hope is that you all have enjoyed the blessings of some “Gems” at work during the course of your life. I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

Let’s lift each other up!!

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Changes, Covid-19, Creative Writing, Employment, Home, Life, Moods

Right Now And Write Now: How I’m Rolling

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Things have changed in oh so many ways. And I suspect the changes in my life, both at work and at home, are going to continue, in wild and unexpected ways. For better and for worse. As all of ours will due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

I was banished from my workplace yesterday. It came to light via email yesterday morning that I may have had contact with someone who tested positive for Covid-19 last week. Not anyone at work, but an unknown individual (HIPPA prevents the employer of this person from publicly naming them) at a location where I was picking up items for our food bank.

While I donned a face mask during this pick up and am fairly certain did not get any closer than 6 feet from anyone else there, my employer gave me the rest of the week off (with pay, thankfully) as a precaution.

Me in my office last week. Gawd, I need a haircut.

So here I am now, at home, overthinking everything and anything. Unsure what to do next. Determined to maintain continuous virtual contact with my co-workers, at the ready to answer questions or complete other tasks assigned to me that can be done from home (what those tasks might be remains to be seen, but I am determined to roll with it). In other words, I finally broke down and decided it is in my as well as my employers best interest to sync my personal cell phone to my work email account. I suppose I’ll be setting up a Zoom account on this phone shortly too.

All that said, I am, alas, at home today until next Monday (with maybe one trip to the store in the mix). So clearly I ought to take care of our little sanctuary. Do some cleaning. Organizing. It’ll make me feel better and it will increase our collective level of comfort.

But not until I engage in some serious venting lamenting writing. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been fantasizing about just one day during which I inhabit the role of a full-on, at home, creative writer. One who furiously taps away on her Chromebook drinking an array of beverages all the while-starting with coffee and ending with a glass of fine Pinto Grigio. Wearing the comfiest of clothes , making sure to get up and stretch and/or dance to keep those muscles loose and the mental energy high.

So that’s my plan for today. I think anyway. Because I also know this….

Don't You Know I Have Plans for You? - First Churches of ...
Adventure, Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Clarity, Creative Writing, Life, Motherhood, Secrets, Storytelling, Women

Passwords and Other Secrets

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Recently I changed my primary work password to “GOODJuJu!!”

And I don’t care that you all know it now. What on earth would you do with it anyway? Break into my office, type it in and read my totally uninteresting emails? Go ahead, knock yourself out.

I think this is the best password I’ve ever come up with. Every time I type it in, I remind myself that my daily goal is to spread light in all my interactions with others. Not like I achieve that goal on the regular. But I try nevertheless.

Since I’ve shared my work password, it makes sense to follow the thread of spilling secrets. Tell you about the stuff that I’ve been doing to gain clarity for myself as an ambitious and creative writer.

Don’t get too excited. It’s all really just baby steps. But I think they still count for something.

First secret: I partook in David Sedaris’ Master Class online for Storytelling and Humor. Truth be told, I signed up for this class because of the “storytelling and humor” part-not so much for David Sedaris. I can’t say that I don’t like him, I do; it’s just that I knew of him but hadn’t read anything he has written. Still haven’t, actually.

Signing up for this class was something I did to help me learn in more detail how I can improve my creative writing. My ability to tell humorous stories that people can relate to and appreciate. It was a purely selfish investment that I decided to make in myself. And I have no regrets.

I had have great interest in interacting with the “community” within this online class. I’ve introduced myself, entered a piece of my writing in a contest even. The prize in this contest is David’s feedback on your piece. I think it’s safe for me to assume that I’m not going to win. And this is not me feeling sorry for myself or me being fake humble. My life is too good and blessed for that shit.

I’m not a great writer. I might be, someday. Or not. Either way, the joy writing gives me will not be overtaken by feelings of self-doubt about my ability to grow my readership on this blog or elsewhere.

I would estimate that it took me 3 hours, within the span of 5 days, to decide which piece I should enter for this contest. That’s how I found “Grammerly”, because in order for my piece to be accepted for consideration, it had to be under 600 words.

“Grammerly” also informed me that my piece was at an 11th to 12th grade level. So clearly, there’s room for improvement.

After doing a bit of editing on the piece I chose, I gave it a couple of days, then went back in to see the one comment made on my piece. It was “I feel like there’s too much information in this piece. I’d like to see it pared down to it’s bare bones”. He was spot on. I veer into the rabbit hole of verbosity in both my speech and my writing.

Whether or not I go back in, make some major edits and re-submit is up in the air. I honestly don’t know if that’s even allowed or appropriate. Or maybe it’s expected?

For now, though, I just want to share what struck me most from being a student of this class. The following is taken directly from the notes I made to myself as I participated in this class and worked through the accompanying workbook.

David’s “work spaces”. Loved the imagery. Made me think that I could write about my ideal work space. Like a “she shed” type deal.

Tuning into your surroundings will open you up to moments that could become stories and the parts of your world that belong in your writing.

“I don’t like to write about people I don’t like”. I concur, David. Neither do I. So I won’t. Period. Hopefully this declaration doesn’t come and bite me in the ass later.

David has a conversation with every person in line at his book signings. He also writes thank you letters. He’s such a nice boy.

Take incidents and stitch them together for a story. I love the creative reference of stitching. Also, following threads. And rabbit holes.

Paint a mental picture in a readers head. Go to readings?? David said he learned a lot from doing this. A lot about what not to do, that is.

Now onto my second secret (or is it my third? That’s subjective, I suppose): During the time I was taking this class, I received an email announcing spring 2020 dates for the Listen to Your Mother shows.

Let me back up for a sec: I first heard about this annual event in 2016 from a local-ish “mommy” blogger named Stephanie. Essentially, LTYM is a franchise that is locally produced in various cities in the U.S. Primarily women get up on a stage and read original pieces on the theme of “Motherhood”. A percentage of the proceeds from ticket sales goes to charity.

I instantly loved this whole concept. The idea of others sharing their personal stories about motherhood, a topic dear to my heart and which I have much to say about, really intrigues me. I knew I wanted to be a part of it, someway, somehow.

So, with David encouraging me to do readings, I started considering applying to be part of the cast. I congratulated myself recently when I realized that I could simply click on the “word cloud” I have featured on my blog’s front page and read all the posts I have written on one particular topic.

But then after reading the few posts I have published that featured “Motherhood” and then proceeded to view video clips of past LTYM speakers, I was overcome with self-doubt. I mean, if this is is all I’ve got to offer and these are examples of my potential “competition” why the hell should I proceed?

Now is the part of this post where you might expect me to say something along the lines of “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” or “What’s the worst that could happen?”. Both of which are 100% true.

However, while I’m not closing the door to auditioning for LTYM, I’m also not necessarily doing it this year. At least not with any of the pieces about motherhood I have published on this blog.

I think it’d be wise to heed David’s advice: attend readings. For me, it’ll be the LTYM show this spring. See what it’s like. Take notes. Make some connections.

Baby steps, right?