Category Archives: Work

Getting Fired, Hope, Mental Health, Self Compassion, Work

That One Time When I Got Fired

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The only time in my working life that I ever had an inkling I might get myself fired was when I was in college. I was trying to make some extra dough to fund my nicotine habit and cheap drinks at our college town’s dive bars. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to utilize my parent’s money to fund those things entirely.

I took a part-time job as a telemarketer rounding up donations for the democratic party. I detested cold-calling people on the list I was provided with prior to each shift. None of them, unsurprisingly, wanted to talk to me. I stumbled over my words as my nerves got the best of me. The majority of the people I called hung up on me.

Now, my memory of all this is admittedly fuzzy, being that it happened 35 + years ago. But there came a point where I realized that I was kidding myself if I thought my employer was going to keep me on. I was not a persuasive person. I was not comfortable trying to be one. So I quit before they got a chance to fire me.

Many years later, I found myself working at a non-profit serving senior citizens in the Denver metro. I started out running the food pantry there, which was something I quickly realized I loved.

Then the Covid-19 pandemic hit. A new program was being started at my non-profit which aimed to address feelings of loneliness and isolation brought on by the pandemic lockdown amongst senior citizens in our county. This is when I was given a new opportunity. An opportunity to essentially helm this program and build it into something beneficial.

The agency purchased new software for the project and I was given a new title. The food pantry was going to be run by someone else. I was sad to have to give that up. The opportunity to use my social work skills (I worked as a case manager, then a certified social worker, in Wisconsin for about 15 years before that) in a bit of a new way, however, was something I was unable to resist.

I was trained on the new software by a smart, nerdy, good-natured millennial who was my favorite person at the non-profit. Her tech expertise was spread thin, however, as the ED (Executive Director, for those not familiar with non-profit lingo) had delegated a variety of projects for her to accomplish with set deadlines.

I thought I had gotten the hang of it after a few weeks. I was reaching out to seniors (cold calling on a list-perhaps a red flag I didn’t see at the time?) all day long, checking in with them to see how they were managing lockdown. Asking questions to determine what supports they had in place to manage in the day-to-day, both with practical things like grocery shopping and housekeeping, and with their anxieties about spending so much time at home alone. Determining based on their responses how our non-profit could help or what other resources were available to meet their needs.

I documented everything I was required to in the new software. When I had questions, I would call or text my millennial tech co-worker friend for answers. Sometimes it would take a while for her to respond, being that she had other projects to attend to. Or she would come over to me (they had me working off-site) when she had a little break in her day to address whatever difficulty I was having with using the software for documenting all the information I was gathering. Sometimes she would not have the answers I needed so she’d have to do some checking and get back to me. Understandable. I did the best I could each day and hoped it would all work out.

Then Hubs and I went on vacation, to visit family and friends in Minnesota and Wisconsin for a couple of weeks.

I came back to work on a Monday. I checked my emails and responded to them. I checked my documentation to refresh my brain as to where I had left things. I picked up the phone and made callbacks to the seniors I had spoken to two weeks prior.

Toward the end of that day, I got a call from my boss requesting I drive over to the office for a meeting with the ED. I assumed this was merely a “check-in” sort of deal, where I reviewed my progress and where things stood with the project and what steps needed to be taken going forward.

I drove over and walked into the building. I was greeted by my boss and the ED as they ushered me into the conference room. We sat down and exchanged pleasantries. Then the ED said something to the effect of “This is not working for us”. I asked for clarification on what that meant. She said that “unfortunately” they were going to have to let me go.

My jaw dropped to the floor. The tears started flowing. I felt sick to my stomach. Wounded. Rejected. Shocked. Utterly beside myself.

I think I actually said, “you’re kidding me”.

When I sought answers as to why this was happening, I was told that while I was on vacation, it was discovered that there were “several” errors in the electronic documentation I had completed. Addresses and names were mixed up. The ED said my co-workers had to fix the errors in my absence. I was told that the non-profit didn’t have the time to allow me to continue as they needed someone doing this job that would not make these kinds of errors. I asked if I could stay on but in a different role and I was told “no”.

I texted Hubs and simply told him I’d been fired. That I was devastated and coming home soon.

I got in my truck and bawled like a baby. I bawled all the way home and I bawled for almost 3 days straight afterward. I was humiliated. Ashamed. Embarrassed. You know, all of those lovely feelings. I couldn’t eat and I could barely sleep. I was completely beside myself. My ego was beyond bruised.

But, here’s the thing. Time is wonderful. It has such healing power.

With the emotional support of Hubs and time spent feeling my feelings, my wounds became less raw. Just a little less raw. Just enough so that I had the nerve to call another non-profit ED who I had become friends with through my job running the food pantry to see what kind of volunteer opportunities she might have for me. I knew enough about myself to know that I had to get myself back out there, doing what good I could in the world. I needed to do something productive with my time and energy.

She took me up on it and I found myself sorting through donated goods at her non-profit a few days later. It felt so good to get out of my house (and out of my head) and just do something.

She called me a couple of days later. She reminded me of her dream of having a food pantry at her non-profit; another program to offer to the low-income, unhoused, or marginally housed families and individuals they served. She asked if I was “up for” leading it. I jumped at the chance.

Together, we cleared out the backroom and painted shelves. I made connections to a major food bank to partner with. I wrote a couple of grants (something I had told my previous ED I had a keen interest in doing but never got the opportunity there) to get funding for things like freezers, refrigerators, and of course, to purchase food.

I worked there for almost two years before we moved back to Wisconsin.

The moral of this story is this: you may get fired from your job someday. Even from a job you put your “all” into. When/if this happens, take the time you need to feel all those awful feelings. Talk to people you have loving relationships with about these feelings. Cry for as long as you need to.

Then, when the tears start to dry up, think about your next move. It doesn’t have to be anything fantastical. It just needs to be something that gets you out into the world. Into the world where you can interact with others. Working with others to accomplish something. Gifting yourself the opportunity to laugh and connect with others.

Because it just may be that the shocking end was what needed to happen for a new, surprising, and enlightening experience to happen for you.

Ambition, Arts and Crafts, Changes, Clarity, Education, Employment, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Self-Reflection, Work, Writing

Liberal Arts Grandma ISO Meaningful Work

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The level of clarity I have about life, mine of course, but also general life, if you know what I mean, has increased significantly in the last year.

This is on account of all the changes. The cross country move, the new lifestyle and routine, our daughter and grandson overcoming so much and blossoming in their new environment.

I’m feeling settled in here now. At a point of reflection, just gobsmacked over the changes that had to occur and the choices that had to be made to get me and (most of) my beloved crew here, living 15 minutes from each other in this 4 season wonderland that is Minnesconsin.

Not that life is perfect; I’m just marinating in this feeling of being “settled”.

However, I know I can’t marinate indefinitely. Nor do I want to.

Paid employment is beckoning me at the moment. I’m itching to get back at it. But I’m still in charge of the now 9 year old at least a few afternoons per week, and I’m seeing that this might continue through the school year.

So, paid employment for me is kind of on the back burner for now.

That’s ok however, because I have yet to figure out what it is exactly I want to or can do and be paid for it. This the one big thing I don’t yet have clarity on.

Example: I opted for a free upgrade recently on LinkedIn. I thought it would be helpful for me to engage more on that site. However, when I went to update my profile, I was prompted to describe the kind of job I am looking for.

I blanked. I literally didn’t realize until that moment that I don’t know exactly what kind of job I want. So, I stopped right there and shortly after canceled my upgrade to prevent myself from being charged a monthly fee.

I might go back to it, upgrade it again. Once I figure out what kind of job I’m looking for, that is.

In my fantasy life, the job of my dreams (you know, the one that allows me to work part time writing and supporting others in various ways to move forward and achieve their hearts desire) just shows up. It appears out of thin air and I gratefully latch onto it and thank my lucky stars.

But that is not how it works. Ever.

Not that I’m not a believer in manifestation, but I know I’ve got to put some work into it. Take some action.

While I ponder paid employment, I’m hell bent on being more active. Physically, mentally, and intellectually. What’s cool about this for me is that I’ve got a sidekick. My grandson needs to be engaged in learning so he can move forward and so do I.

That means my “job” right now is to learn and grow with him. I refuse to put on a teacher hat when he’s here because it’s important to me that my role as his Grandma remains intact for him.

That compels me to think outside the box. To figure out how to engage him without saying words like “learn” or “teach” in his presence. He balks when those words are uttered. So I have to be a little sneaky about it, kind of like those parents who whirl veggies in a blender and put it in the muffins they’re baking for the kids.

I like the notion of being the “liberal arts” Grandma. She who engages her grandchild’s artistic and creative tendencies in a way that sheds new light into his brain and heart.

Image courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/17170042308639399/

One thing I did recently with him is to ask him to teach me how to do oragami, something I know he’s good at and likes to do. As a kid with ADHD, he needs to keep his hands busy pretty much all the time. He was very receptive to it and seemed to appreciate my suggestion that one of the pieces of oragami I created could be turned into a piece of art, like a picture frame.

So, my new theory is that both he and I can learn together via arts and crafts projects. That can be my contribution to his education.

Pinterest, here I come!

Changes, Employment, Feminism, Friendships, Grandparenting, Hope, Positivity, Volunteerism, Women, Work

Where Grandma Works

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Do you remember where your Grandma worked? Did you ever get to visit her workplace?

To my knowledge, neither of my grandmothers worked outside of the home. It’s entirely possible that one or both of them at some point did work, maybe before I was born, when my parents were still children.

But to me, their only job was being “Grandma”.

One day last week, my daughter and grandson came to visit me at work for a couple of hours.

Fortunately, I work at a very kid-friendly and family-friendly place. My grandson learned the concept of volunteering. He made new friends and picked out a new blanket.

In our food pantry, Beth helped him find a variety of empty boxes to take home to build what he called a “cardboard castle”. He and his mom enjoyed some snacks.

He jumped on the trampoline while chatting with Alicia while she was vacuuming the gym floor. Later, Alicia walked him through the food pantry as if he was a customer as he picked out some food and a new violet (his favorite color) toothbrush on our hygiene rack.

He spent some time in the warehouse with Maureen, sorting through donated clothes and talking about avalanches. She told him that she was happy to make a new friend.

I overheard him as I was on my computer taking care of some admin stuff for the food pantry saying “I love to volunteer!”

It was a good day indeed. That is why I’m sharing it here today. I want to always remember it.

He will turn 8 soon. Due to his time and place in life right now, it’s so beneficial for him to interact with women. Women who are also mothers. Women who work together. Women who show each other respect and work as a team to get the job done.

My heart is full as I write this. I am full of hope for this beautiful, smart, extroverted, and sensitive boy.

Aging, Balance, Blogging, Changes, Empty Nesting, Grandparenting, Gratitude, Life, Love, Middle Age, Motherhood, Parenting, Self-Care, Work

At almost 55

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Super self-indulgent title, right?

Yet I think it works.

Buckle up while I summarize my current status:

Tomorrow I turn 55. I don’t recall freaking out inside about my birthday since the day I turned 31 (for real). But, I accept it. What’s the alternative? There is none.

Shit, I wouldn’t want to turn back the hands of time even if I could.

While “balance” is my word for 2022, “Moving Forward” is my new mantra. Or “Progress, not Perfection”. It’s a toss up.

In that spirit, off I go.

Hubs and I’s empty nesting status has been on hiatus for the last 13 days. We are now a household of 5, for the time being. It’s nothing I want to delve into on this platform at this time. But it’s important for you to know if you’re going to stick around, because my whole world is in the most transitional period since 2014, and because I know that part of my self-care routine (I despise this overused and abused term but am in the flow and choose not to google synonyms right now) is writing these blog posts. Because it’s going to affect everything you read here from this point on to some degree or other.

I’m determined to focus on the present moment. One day at a time. While of course planning for the near future (aka our move back to Wisconsin). Along with simultaneously doing my best to wrap up the Colorado part of my path in the neatest, most colorful bow, with the exception of my talented artist kid Rabbie and Karl the cockeyed cat, who intend to remain here, work-wise and beyond.

One thing I don’t believe I have done a good job of communicating to you about on this blog is that I love numbers. I find meaning in them. I enjoy making mathematical calculations in my head. I notice numbers all the time. It’s kinda weird.

That, among other reasons, is why I’m going to simply share the Top 5 things that are making me happy these days.

  • Hearing and seeing my almost 8 year old grandson laugh at his own jokes.
  • Having the support of my employer with reducing my weekly hours.
  • Listening to books on Audible (Jen Mann’s most recent one simply spoke to me while making me laugh).
  • Witnessing the bravery of my adult children amidst life’s changes and challenges.
  • Blogging, and the fact that I feel great enthusiasm about writing on topics I haven’t covered in the almost 5 years since I started this blog. The primary topic I’m feeling now is under the umbrella of “Work”.

This song is dedicated to my kids. I think you might like it too.

2021, Blogging, Clarity, Creative Writing, Emotions, Life, Rage, Self-Reflection, Time, Work, Work Life Balance

About 2021

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I’m eager for 2022.

I feel all of this, written by Rachel Hackenberg for the United Church of Christ’s daily devotional on 12/28/21:

“If you are eager to throw your 2021 calendar in the trash, and you have all of your incense and candles and rituals prepared to sweep out 2021 and bless 2022, remember that even when the year is new: there is still rage and death and dreadful absence that haunts our collective spirit and needs to be healed. 

Make room for the rage. 

Welcome it like a weary traveler who can’t find a room in the inn. 

Give it space where it can cry and groan. 

Light a candle if it labors through the night. 

Do not be quick to console it, only keep it company to be sure it doesn’t harm others. 

Amplify its voice. 

Let it be messy and imperfect”

I appreciate this devotional because 2021 threw me for a loop (especially that last month or so). The events in my personal orbit as well as events in this country and world in 2021 have left me feeling older, feistier, and tired.

I don’t know of a better way of putting it, but I feel messy. I need time to process it all because of the emotional whiplash. I need time to recuperate.

There were happy moments for me, however. Photographic evidence:

My “Elfie Selfie” at my employers “Santa Shop” this year.
Rabbie and I at Thanksgiving
Me with my favorite 7 year old in Wisconsin on Halloween weekend
The Hubs and I in our finest at my employer’s “Adult Prom” fundraising gala

A truly inspiring and prolific blogger who I follow, Jenny, of Jenny’s Lark, asked a question on her blog recently. I have been pondering it ever since.

Here is my paraphrased version of it: if there is ONE lesson you learned in 2021 that you can keep for yourself, while all of the other lessons disappear into thin air, what would it be?

A tough, yet interesting question to consider, don’t you think?

I’m going to make a list of the lessons I’ve learned in 2021 right now. I will edit this down to just one however.

  • I realized in 2021 that my life was out of balance: too much working in all it’s forms and not enough writing and publishing.

And this is exactly why, for me, 2022 is going to be all about one word.

BALANCE

Here’s the song of the year for me. I’m pretty sure you all will appreciate it, going into the new year.

Facebook, Humor, Life, Sarcasm, Work

Pooping at Work

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One of my Facebook friends posted about a “genius” idea they learned about: “pooping shoes”.

These are shoes you change into at work prior to using the facilities to, you know, take a dump.

My Facebook friend was in the camp of people who nevereverever poop at work. They find it abhorrent when others do. They have a poop schedule to which they adhere. If their schedule is somehow off and they have no choice but to poop mid-day, they would hop in their car, drive home, do their “doody” and come back to the office.

This Facebook friend of mine also shared that they are grateful that at this point in their career, they work from home. No special shoes needed to poop there.

Yet, if they did still have to work in the office amongst other people, they’d have a special pair of shoes hidden in a drawer…just in case.

Or maybe they’d be like Zahid from the Netflix show “Atypical”.

Thoughts on this?

Here’s mine:

Who really takes the time to peer under the bathroom stalls and register exactly who is using the shitter? Weirdos, that’s who.

Now, a quick glance just to ascertain if there is someone in the stall, to prevent oneself from attempting to gain entrance-that’s normal.

If one were to change their shoes at their work station, then make the trek to the restroom, wouldn’t there be a decent chance that someone would notice the change in footwear? And furthermore, would there not also be a chance that the one who noticed the new shoes would also need to use the facilities approximately 20 seconds after one has plopped their ass onto the porcelain throne?

Because I’m pretty sure that would happen to me.

I’m just not that smooth. Or that sneaky. I’d change my shoes, then on the way to the toilet, I’d be distracted by a client in need of something or a co-worker with a question. Someone, no doubt, would take notice of my new shoes and perhaps ask why I changed shoes. Shit (ha ha), then I’d have to come up with a believable lie, like “these are more comfortable”. Then I’d have to wear my “pooping shoes” for the rest of the day, hence resulting in a need to find a new pair of “pooping shoes” to bring into work the next day.

It’d become a whole ridiculous fucking thing.

Instead, I’ll continue to be grateful for the fact that I do have a pretty consistent “poop schedule” (every morning after my first cup of coffee, in case you wondered). And if I simply must poop at work, I will flush first; right at the moment I am certain that those unholy sounds are about to start coming out of my tushy. Then, if someone else enters the stall next to me, I will finish up, wait it out until the coast is clear and then disembark from the toilet seat.

And if someone else is pooping when I’m peeing in the stall next to them, I will speed things up, wash my hands according to the instructional sign hanging by the mirror, and make a quick exit to give that person some space and some respect.

Because the fact of the matter, is we all poop. That is what toilets are for. Even the ones at work.

Ambition, Careers, Employment, Female Empowerment, Friends, Humor, Life, Women, Work

Gems In The Workplace

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You might recall in this post that my definition of a “Gem” is a highly prized and well beloved female human who has, in no particular order, inspired me, loved me, liked me, taught me, cried with me, laughed with me, challenged me, accepted me, shared with me, and cared with me.

In my adult work life, which spans from around 1987 to the current, I’ve been fortunate to know several “Gems”.

I concur, Victoria

Sam was the first great friend I made in a work setting: I didn’t know her name at the time; I only knew that she had been there longer than me and carried herself with confidence. She waltzed over to me as I was sitting at my desk and asked if I had any lipstick on me. She was heading to a meeting and wanted to look her best. I was able to provide the requested lipstick and she thanked me.

She remains one of my very best friends.

Sam and two other “Gems” shared an over-sized office with me for about 5 years. All of these gals were younger than me by 8-10 years. Looking back, I think their youthful ambition and passion for the work we were doing (case managers serving intellectually and physically disabled adults) was great motivation for me. We were a fabulous team, the four of us, ready to cover for each other when needed and brainstorming for solutions to challenges we faced with our participants or fellow co-workers.

We still connect via Facebook and once in a while in person (despite living in three different states).

Another “Gem” at work was a nurse whose cubicle was near enough to mine that she could overhear my phone conversations with my members. One time I had a particularly challenging phone call where the client was yelling and using all kinds of cuss words to express his displeasure at whatever I said “no” to funding for him. Later that day, this nurse slipped me a note with a smiley face on it and wrote “You are a Saint” on it.

That same nurse, months later, called me out when she overheard me with yet another challenging client. She asked me to come over to her cube where she directly and gently told me that she could hear the frustration in my voice during that call. She suggested going forward I ought to be mindful of how I was coming across on the phone. While embarrassed, I took that suggestion to heart. From then on, I paid more attention to my tone when on phone calls with people who were jumping on my last nerve.

So in the end, I appreciated her constructive criticism. Sometimes you have to hear hard things about yourself and let that fuel you to be better.

A more recent “Gem” at work for me was the gal who drove me to pick up food for the food bank I was running. On those trips, we talked about our life ambitions and sometimes shared our favorite songs. One time, we returned to my food bank to find the large sheet cake we had placed on the tippy-top of the food pyramid had flipped over, landing frosting side first onto the floor of the truck. We couldn’t bear to let the entire cake go to waste, so we laughed our heads off while scarfing down the unsoiled part of the cake with our bare hands.

My hope is that you all have enjoyed the blessings of some “Gems” at work during the course of your life. I’d love to hear about them in the comments!

Let’s lift each other up!!

Community, Covid-19, Creative Writing, Food Bank, Home, Hope, Humor, Pets, Positivity, Television, Time, Work

Silver Linings

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You may think I’m delusional, but there are silver linings in this pandemic situation, don’t you think? I imagine if we all gave it some thought (now that we have more time to think) we could all come up with some.

And I propose that we should all do it now, before the novelty of our new normal starts to fade. Because if we’re being honest, it will.

So I am going to strike while the iron is hot and go first:

  • Getting to know my co-workers better. Because we serve low income seniors, many with underlying health conditions, we have to band together to meet their needs in new and different ways. We are finding ourselves problem solving together on a moment to moment basis it seems. Like drive up service, which we started doing last Friday.
  • We are all learning to be more hygienic, washing our hands for longer, and more thoroughly. Did you see the video clip of Gloria Gaynor singing the 20 second chorus to her hit “I Will Survive”? Wouldn’t it be fun (and smart) to take that to the next level and find other 20 second choruses to belt out while hand washing?

Like this guy did:

  • We have more time to get stuff done around the house. The small projects, like cleaning the refrigerator and a bit of re-decorating, organizing file cabinets. Which can all be done at a leisurely pace, because we have the gift of more time.
  • We have more time for reading and expanding our knowledge base. That’s always a good thing, right people?
  • The leaders are emerging, which gives me hope. Not tRump of course, but others. Governor Cuomo comes to mind.
  • We all get to catch up on those favorite shows we have dvr’d and not yet had the time for. Mine include This is Us, Bless this Mess, and Shameless. What might you all have in the DVR hopper?
  • We get to enjoy live virtual performances from our favorite performers in their homes. Please feel free to share your recommendations in the comments.
  • We get to sleep in more. Huge bonus in my opinion!
  • More time to relax (read:cuddle)with our funny, furry companions.

I know there’s more I’m not coming up with. But I’ve got time to figure it out. As we all do at the moment.

Blogging, Clarity, Creative Writing, Faith, Google Playlists, Life, Music, Pets, Self-Reflection, Spirituality, Work

How I’m Rolling In The Current

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At the tail end of 2019, I submitted in this post that 2020 ought to be my year of “Clarity”. I won’t presume that any of you fabulous readers will hold me accountable for this declaration, so I will do the deed myself.

I’ve gained much clarity in my work life in this new year. The dynamics are changing (new boss) and the expectations my employer has for me in the coming year have been clarified. I’m feeling enthusiastic about the new changes to come and the support that I’m experiencing.

I’m also feeling more clarity in terms of what I am paying attention to. As well as what I’m not giving my attention to. For instance, I’ve decided that for Lent, I’m giving up on stalking a certain state’s court website for updates on the legal status of a person who has wreaked havoc on the lives of my family (for the last 6 years, give or take), specifically it’s most beloved members. I’ve come to realize that this stalking I’ve been doing is draining my mental and emotional energy. Not to mention it’s completely pointless. What happens, happens. Checking it obsessively is not going to impact the outcome.

A musical “epiphany” I had recently drives this realization home for me. It’s from the momentous song we all know by heart: “Let it Be” by the Beatles. The line after “Let it be” is “there will be an answer”. And all this time I’ve been focusing on the “let it be” part. I have faith that there will be an answer, not only in this wretched aspect of my family’s life, but in all things. It’s about faith; letting go and trusting the answer will come.

My 2020 soundtrack is providing me with clarity in how I approach things these days. “Listen as your day unfolds”. That is a great line; the first in “You Gotta Be” by Des’Ree. I see it as a directive for me to pay attention to my environment in the day to day. To pay attention to the people I encounter. The feelings I’m feeling, both emotional and physical. The media I consume.

Clarity with what my writing process is happening as well. I’m honing in on what works and what doesn’t. A prime example is that, per David Sedaris’ suggestion, I’m jotting down my daily observations. I find it to be a sort of therapy in that after I’ve done it, I feel refreshed. It’s helping me sort out what it is exactly that I have to say and how I want to say it.

A rare moment in time with pretty kitty Karl and Radar-ling napping peacefully together.

Before I sign off here, I have a question for you all: What are you clear about in your writing and/or personal life? Right here and right now-in the current?

Birthdays, Blogging, Humor, Work

Snow Days, Guilt, and my Birthday

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For context, I penned this post on Monday morning.

To my surprise, today is a snow day. Meaning that instead of organizing my little food bank, answering phone calls and emails, and serving my senior clients, I am at home.

I don’t know what to make of this. I’m uncomfortable. I feel guilty, like someone who called in sick to work who wasn’t actually sick but really just wanted a day off to, I don’t know, binge-watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, or bake a cheesecake, or shop online for things they don’t need.

True confession: I have never called in sick when I wasn’t actually, truly, sick. Because guilt has been instilled in my soul since childhood. Because I know that if I did call in sick to work when I was in perfect health, that yucky, uneasy, unpleasant feeling of guilt would creep in and render me physically ill for real.

And I am a bonafide terrible liar. Here’s a recent example: I was at a work orientation with 4 new employees and 4 others (management/human resources/training folk). It was time for an ice breaker: “Two Truths and a Lie”. Of course, my neurotic brain is doing somersaults whilst the others are sharing their responses, so fortheloveofgod don’t ask me what any of them said. When it came to be my turn, I spouted out three things: I am a grandmother. I worked as a social worker for several years in Wisconsin. I was born and raised in Minnesota. Ha! The relief I felt after the words were spewn out of my mouth was glorious!

Then came the responses from my new colleagues: Well, you can’t possibly be a grandmother! I can tell from your accent that you are probably from Minnesota. Or maybe Wisconsin? You probably were a social worker.

Then it dawned on me: Every single thing I said was the actual freaking truth. Not one single lie. Uh-oh! Guess I didn’t understand the instructions? Nope, that wasn’t the case. I then had to admit two things to these people: 1) That I was so nervous trying to quickly come up with my responses that I forgot one was supposed to be a lie and 2) I apparently cannot tell a lie.

Hubs has been known to tell me that my work ethic is, essentially, unreasonable. He figured this out years ago, when I was pregnant with our first bundle of joy and the only spouse working full time (he was still a college student), and I insisted that despite the blizzard outside I. Was. Going. To. Work. Hubs reluctantly obliged and drove me in, but nearly got in an accident on the way due to the nasty road conditions.

It’s not like I didn’t try going to work today. The tires on our Honda CRV are not in good shape. They didn’t perform well on the snow packed roadways when Hubs was just trying to get me a few blocks away to meet my Uber driver (let’s just say there’s a very good chance that I will opt for Uber X going forward as opposed to Uber Pool), who didn’t show up (though understandable, given the road conditions).

I may go into work later, depending on if/when the snow stops and if/when the roads improve.

So in the meantime, what to do? Obviously, I’ve chosen to write. Perhaps if I get lost in this, my favorite all time activity, the guilt will subside and then I’ll have a fresh new post to publish come Wednesday morning.

At least then I can feel like I accomplished something today. That I used my time wisely.

In other news, things are really quite swell in my life at this moment. I’m doing my best to savor it. Hubs is no longer furloughed (he’s upstairs working in our home office as I type this on the new Chromebook he got me for my birthday-more on that later), thanks to Speaker Pelosi.

Spawn #1’s life is going better for her these days. She’s joined a church, is making new friends, and her first husband is currently MIA. Little guy is doing well in Pre-K and soon I will have the pleasure of reading “Wonky Donky” to him via video-chat (bought it online, shipped it to him and then copied the story down for myself in a notebook).

Spawn #2 is busying themselves in Indianapolis creating wearable art to sell online. And enjoying the single life amongst other creatives in the big city.

Later this week I will turn 52. I plan on celebrating with Hubs by going out to dinner, eating birthday cake guilt free (guilt is not invited to my party), drinking tasty adult beverages, and playing trivia (which I have been wanting to do since like forever) at a favorite local brew pub.

Over the weekend, Hubs and I will be flying out to Kansas City to visit our friends (AKA, Couple #1) and their kiddos. We got a sweet deal on airfare and figured we would massively enjoy the Super Bowl festivities with them. And word is, we’ll be attending a Roller Derby event (game, match, duel? not sure which noun to go with here), so I’m likely to acquire some blogging fodder while there.

Let me leave you with this, which for years now I believed was the #1 song on the day I was born (turns out the #1 song on that cold day in 1967 was the Monkee’s “I’m a Believer”) because well…I’m happy (with a little guilt mixed in for good measure of course)! This version is done by one of my favorite current bands, Weezer- who, I just so happened to recently learn, came out with a new album of covers-and ohmygoshimsoexcited-I just checked YouTube and found out this was one of them!

Happy Birthday to me!