Category Archives: Blogging

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Curiosity, Fear, Irony, Overthinking, Self-Reflection, SocialAnxiety

This Time I Have a Question For You

7 Comments

Why do you blog?

Let me explain where this question comes from.

My blogging anxiety these days is hitting an all-time high. I started a series, here, the 4th installment of what you are reading now, entitled “I Have Questions”. I’m terrible at promoting myself but I know it’s part of the deal if I want to grow my following and make something more of this blogging thing. In that spirit, here’s the first, second, and third post in my series.

I fear I may have inadvertently set myself up for failure by starting this series. It came from a good and curious place, but I didn’t think it through. Questions? We all have questions, right? What those questions are can’t be forced, which is what I’ve been struggling with. Which I think is ridiculous.

I published a post in March of 2021, when I was working still. It was about why I blog. And I missed some things in that post. I didn’t go deep enough.

It’s still true that I blog for the connections I make and the things I learn along the way in the blogosphere. And yes, I still blog because the feedback I often get is validating and gives me warm fuzzies.

I now have more followers than I did then so it seemed right to me to ponder the question again, with the hope that you will all join in. Posing this question now also gives me an opportunity to tell you all, from my heart, why I have kept this up.

The primary reason I blog, or more specifically, write, is because it’s much more comfortable for me to find the words and write them out than it is for me to find the words and use my voice to speak them out loud. Especially when I have a lot to say, which you all know I do.

When I was younger and had an argument with someone, often I’d be so upset that all I could do was cry. I couldn’t form the words or turn off the tears easily. So I would grab a notebook and write it all out. Sometimes I’d craft it into a letter that I’d give to the person who had upset me so. Often the act of writing it down had to be enough because I believed sharing it with them would not be welcome or understood.

While I love being around people and having meaningful conversations, it gives me a lot of anxiety. I feel embarrassed if others eyes are on me, which results in me tripping over or mispronouncing words, or I freeze mid-sentence and lose whatever train of thought I was riding on. Writing is easier. No one is looking at me while I do it, waiting for me to get to the damn point already.

I recognize the irony here, however. The irony of being so self-conscious when conversing with others that I don’t show up as well as I want to; yet here I am, telling so much of my business on the internet where literally anyone can see it. And judge me.

Maybe I’m crazy. Probably. Because I’m sticking with the blogging thing, including my “I Have Questions” series.

It still feels right to me.

So, again, I ask: why do you blog?

Blogging, Creative Writing, Curiosity, Education, Self Improvement

A Question about Questions

16 Comments

What do you think: Is there such a thing as a “stupid” question?

Any answer you might give to this question is going to be subjective.

Here’s mine: Yes, but…

Such as “but it’s a matter of opinion” or “but it’s better to ask a stupid question than to pretend you know the answer”.

I mean, technically and subjectively, stupid questions do exist. Because stupid people exist.

I’m going to resist the temptation I have to be sarcastic and come up with examples of stupid questions here.

Question-askers ought to be encouraged. Nobody should feel they can’t ask questions in any given situation. Questions lead to answers, and answers fill up our tanks of knowledge. Isn’t that what we all want in this life, to gain knowledge?

What one thinks is a stupid question, another is seeking the answer. It may not just be the question-asker; it could be one or more people within earshot of the question. It is both unhelpful and unkind to share our opinion with the asker that the question is stupid. It doesn’t move things forward and it doesn’t engender trust in the person being asked the question.

It shuts curiosity down.

I will stick with the technically incorrect yet kinder, gentler school of thought that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” as I believe my opinion on the intelligence of a question anyone asks of me is much less important than respecting others and fostering meaningful, loving, and trusting relationships.

Simple as that.

Now, the questions I ask in this series (which began with this post) may be considered silly or odd, but I aim to avoid judging any of them as “stupid”. As I hope you, my smart readers, will avoid as well. Go ahead and school me if you will, but please be nice about it.

I’m a student, folks, and my purpose in that role is to ask questions so that I can learn. If through my posing, pondering, and answering them, I can manage to enlighten any of you out there along the way, all the better.

***Featured image courtesy of https://www.pngitem.com/so/question-marks/

Blogging, Creative Writing, Curiosity, Education, Google, Humor, Words

I Have Questions

11 Comments

This post is about declaring that I am a student.

Not a “student of life”. That’s trite.

Now, I am a student of a lot of things. So many that I need to start narrowing it down, or I’m about to learn a little about a lot of things.

And that will make my brain hurt. No point in opening myself up to that.

As a student, the most important thing is to maintain your curiosity. That’s why I’m starting what might be a series on this blog here with just one question.

And today, I’m an English major. Or a student of high school English. You decide.

Gotta start somewhere, right?

Now, onto my question.

I’ve been hemming and hawing about “honing in vs. homing in” for the past several days. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It was that or “Hemming and Hawing about Honing In vs. Homing In” as the title of this blog post.

Is it “honing in” or “homing in”? I’ve seen it both ways in different publications and I can’t tell which is right. I’ve always thought it was “honing in”.

Excuse me while I google that.

Aren’t we so spoiled that whenever we have a question we can just “google” it?

First thing I found when I searched Google:

From prowritingaid.com: “Home in and hone in are commonly confused phrases which both refer to narrowing in on a particular topic. Home in means to locate and move toward something. Hone in means to focus on something.“

Not necessarily helpful.

From masterclass.com: “Home in is more acceptable and means to direct on a target. The phrasal verb derives from the 19th-century use of homing pigeons, but it resurged in the 20th century to refer to missiles that home in on their targets. It’s also commonly used metaphorically, where to home in on something is to focus on and make progress toward it.”

An image of a Homing Pigeon for reference

From grammarist.com: “The definition of hone is to sharpen an object or a skill. You can hone a blade, but you can also hone your negotiation skills or cooking skills.”.

And, this: “So, the main difference between “hone in” and “home in” lies in the definition of their first words. Some sentences can use both phrases, but the meaning won’t be the same.”

Hmm…something to ponder for a bit I suppose.

So neither one is right or wrong; they are two separate phrases. I still am unsure that I have a clear understanding of what the differences are.

And I think when it comes to my writing/blogging pursuits, both phrases could be used.

I may not get this right (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong-remember I’m a student!) but, in relation to this blog post, a true statement using these two phrases, would be this:

I homed in on what question I wanted to start this series with and in the process of writing this blog post, I have honed in on the difference between “home in and hone in”.

I think anyway.

Fellow English students, what’s your take on these two similar, yet apparently different phrases?

Anxiety, Blogging, Fashion, Lifestyle, Music, Planning, Positivity

Leaning Into Spring Organizing

5 Comments

Yesterday went differently than I intended. I really am ok with that. I actually enjoyed myself.

I had mistakenly believed that I needed 1 1/2 hours, max, to put away the winteriest clothes in my closet. I didn’t think about it beyond that.

So, surprisingly (not), it took me upwards of 4 hours.

Because it turns out that I still possessed a buttload of Spring and Summer, mostly recycled (approximately70% of which I purchased at thrift stores) garments.

You know, items that I can start wearing relatively soon. It made no sense to only pull out my winter sweaters and heavy long pants and put them away. After all, the Spring/Summer wardrobe was taking up room in bins and old suitcases stored in one of our basement closets.

Taking those lighter, happy-hued pieces out of the bins was necessary to have room for the winter stuff. And, clothes horse that I am, I will no doubt be schlepping myself to a local thrift store before too long.

I’m kind of addicted to them. Thrifting makes me happy.

Inspired by the still-quite-chilly-out there-yet-the-grass-is-green, the sky is blue, and the sun is shining vibe, I leaned into the task. I got some exercise by going up and down the basement stairs like a dozen times. I listened to music, which I streamed on my ‘lil Nest. It was a chill, all-Current from MPR kinda afternoon.

Of course, I tried a lot of items on for size. Fortunately, much of it still fit. That which didn’t or that which no longer held any appeal to me, I tossed to the side. To sell in my garage sale in June.

My intention when I woke up yesterday morning, in addition to putting away those winter clothes, was to spend time working on my next blog post. Behind the scenes here these last few weeks, I’ve been writing a lot.

However, the anxiety about what specifically I was going to blog about this week got in my way. Or maybe I let it get in my way. We all have ways we sabotage ourselves, right?

Anyway. Yesterday, the simple act of cleaning out and organizing my wardrobe was good for me. I cleared my head, made progress and got myself pumped up for all that awaits me once Spring starts “springing”.

An array of veggies Hubs got started for our gardens
Anxiety, Blogging, Clarity, Honesty, Life, Time Management

A is for Accountability

3 Comments

After much deliberation, I have decided not to participate in this year’s April A-Z blogging challenge.

How about the rest of you, my blogger friends? Are you participating?

I realize I may regret it, especially once I start reading all the creative posts from others that come out of it.

But the thing is, I cannot commit. I’m seeing that right now, getting stuff done has got to be a bigger priority than a fun blogging challenge.

I just am not in a position to give it my all. And I’ve got shit to do.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t play around a bit with the alphabet, following my creative whims.

That is why you are reading this post from me today about accountability.

It’s a big, important word, right?

It’s so satisfying to see others who have done wrong being held accountable for their dirty deeds, isn’t it? Like what is just now beginning to happen to our former president.

In “Atlas of the Heart”, Brene Brown describes that feeling of satisfaction when someone gets what’s coming to them, as “schadenfreude”. It’s defined by her as “pleasure of joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”.

It’s not necessarily satisfying though to hold ourselves accountable, or God Forbid, to be held accountable in other people’s view. It’s hard. It’s fucking uncomfortable. You might worry that you are over-promising (which I would have been doing if I declared I was participating in the A to Z challenge). You might struggle with determining what it is exactly that you personally need to be accountable for. You might be overwhelmed by it. You may let yourself and others down in the process.

Like I said, it’s a big word. Maybe I should have gone with my second choice: “A is for Asinine”. That certainly would have been easier.

I think the word “accountability” goes hand in hand with the word “character”. It’s all about holding ourselves as well as others to a certain standard of decency. It means holding others responsible for ethical missteps, and holding ourselves personally responsible for ours.

One thing that I am currently holding myself accountable for is my garage sale project. Thankfully, I got myself some reinforcements with this (reinforcements would certainly be my “R is for” post if I did the challenge this year) project. I learned last weekend that my next door neighbor just retired. And she’s eager to find things to do with her time, even asking me if it’s “ok” if she helps with it.

So, “doing” is the bigger priority for me now.

Excuse me while I take the rest of the day to resume my journey of going through more of my worldly possessions to determine what’s going up for sale next month.

I’ll be back in this space next week.

Blogging, Creative Writing, Granparenting, Life, Parenting, Photography, Unemployment

8 Things I Noticed in April of 2022

9 Comments

It’s now 2/28/23 and I’m realizing this is a post I could publish now. It captured a specific moment in time for me. I wrote it and never published it. I was newly unemployed and planning our move back home.

In other words, I’ve been taking some time today to review all my draft folders. I’m cleaning this digital joint up.

Originally written by me on 4/22/22 and seeing the light just today, these were the 8 things I noticed then:

  • I noticed that my grandson has a beautiful singing voice. Song choice was a sweet surprise: “Close to You” by the Carpenters.
  • Spending time on Twitter can be quite fun. Different but in a good way, from Facebook. Too bad it’s getting overtaken by an oligarch.
  • That my daughter parents differently (and in a lot of important ways, better) than me when she and her sibling were young.
  • My house is in disarray.
  • That we have (had) far too many photos. Sure, there were plenty of precious ones I had to keep (to eventually scan so everything that isn’t in a frame is digitized). But these were photos taken back in the day when you had to put actual film in a camera. And you had no way to see them until you had them developed. In a lab. And half the time there were months between shots so when you dropped off your film, you thought there’d be a chance that there’d be some good ones in there. So you’d want to keep one for yourself and share with someone else, so you checked the box to have 2 copies of each picture. Then you’d get them back like 10 days later only to find out a mere 6 out of the 24 pictures on the film were sort of decent but the rest would be blurry shots of the sky with a smidge of your brother’s eyebrow in the corner.
  • I naturally want to go to sleep for the night later and get up later now that I’m not working.
  • I only have three good bras. That is it. And they are all the same style and size. Just different colors.
  • Almost every show that I absolutely loved but had long ass breaks since the last season due to Covid-19, are all coming back with new seasons right now. Simultaneously. When, ironically, I’m unable to binge any of them at the moment. I’ve got too many other things to do with the big move to Wisconsin coming in less than 3 weeks.

Thank you friends, for reading my share here today. We’ll see if I find any more.

Now, back to editing……

But just one last thing.

An example of a pic taken in the 80’s that we had to pay for someone to develop and wait for days to get from the pharmacy.

Yep, that’s me. Circa 1985 in my MN state university dorm room.
Anxiety, Blogging, Emotions, Hope, Life, Mental Health, Moods, Self-Reflection, Time

On Being a WIP and Meloncholy

4 Comments

You know, sometimes I feel like I could lose my mind. There’s just so much going on in this head of mine. I can sense the tears but they rarely come out.

Whew.

I don’t think I’m depressed per se. I’m just mixed up. Feeling like I’m wandering and unable to sort out where I’m going. Very much like I’m caught up in the space I’m in, yet certain that there’s something new on the horizon waiting for me to jump into it.

I think there’s something to a new concept I read about this morning online: purpose anxiety. Or maybe it’s a diagnosis. I think I have it. I think this “gap year” I’m in is similar to the other one that I had in that I get to a point where I’ve got too much time on my hands. Yet I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything of value. Like I ought to be using my time more wisely.

Meloncholy resonates with me today. I googled the word to gain a better understanding of it’s meaning and came upon this definition by Emily Brady at the University of Michigan (link here)”meloncholy is something we desire from time to time, for it provides an opportunity for indulgent self-reflection. We enjoy this time out for reflection, but the pleasure is also connected to recollecting that which we long for, which this reflective element can be even exhilirating or uplifting.”

It’s also full on winter here in Minnesconsin, which is something I haven’t experienced in the last 7 years. There’s snow everywhere you look and it’s so cold out there. It pushes me to hibernate.

Some of the parts about hibernating I actually like. Such as watching t.v. on my couch, especially if Radar chooses to be my cuddle buddy. Reading; though most of the reading I do these days is other people’s blog posts or NPR. I’ve been re-reading “Atlas of the Heart”, by Brene Brown, which I need to get back to as it’s been a few days. It’s such an important book to me. One I treasure. One of the few books I’ve read that has actually altered my perspective and, I think, improved the way I relate to others. It’s a keeper.

Yes, I recently published a blog post in which I listed all of the things I do just for fun. That feels a little ironic to me as I pour myself out here and now. Yet I stand by that post. I am of the mind that having fun, along with having something to look forward to, is very underrated in American culture.

That said, and I say this with the intention of pushing myself forward, I’m going to take the time to lay out some things I can do, actions I can take to just get on with it. To push through this little slump I’m in. I know it’s temporary.

I’m a WIP (Work in Progress), you’re a WIP, we’re all WIPs, right?

Progress, not perfection.

***Header image courtesy of https://lifeism.co/aesthetic-quotes-that-will-center-you-for-the-day

Blogging, Celebrate, Dancing, Fun, Happiness, Joy, Laughter, Playlists, Positivity, Spontaneity

8 Things I do for Fun

25 Comments

List five things you do for fun.

This was the daily prompt from WordPress and I’ve decided to go with it.

I am a fan of having fun. I think putting a pause on our adult responsibilities to be playful is good for our spirits.

Also at play here is that my birthday is coming up very soon and I’m excited to celebrate it with my family. My brain is in party mode!

I’m going to share not just 5, but 8 things that I do for fun. Because 8 is my lucky number, folks.

What do you like to do for fun?

Fun for me is:

  • Playing group board games like “Ransom Notes”, “Apples to Apples”, or “Scrabble” with family and/or friends. This is a guaranteed way to share laughs together. I love the feeling of relaxation in my whole body after some good old fashioned belly laughs.
  • Dance. Sometimes alone in my kitchen. Sometimes with my grandson when he challenges me to “dance-offs”. The more spontaneous the dancing is, the better. That’s where the joy is.
  • Creating music playlists. My method is to think of a mood I want to create or a genre I want to re-visit, then search online for songs under that category. While this is a more introverted way to have fun, often the end result is that I get to share these playlists with the special people in my life.
  • Thrift store shopping. It’s a surprising treasure hunt every time and freeing as well, as it’s guilt-free. I don’t come out of a thrift store with my purchases feeling bad about spending money, because I never spend that much. Even better, the money I spend often goes toward a cause that supports and lifts others up.
  • This. Blogging. Interacting with all of you in the comments.
  • Decorating my house. Using home decor I kept from our previous house in new ways. Finding just the right spot to put that cool piece of pottery I found at a thrift store. It’s a simple and creative activity that just tickles me.
  • Photography. Now, I don’t claim or even aim to be a professional photog necessarily. It’s just fun for me to capture shots in the day to day with my cell phone.
Karl the cat, when he came to visit last week
  • Spending time on the water. Trolling for fish in a boat while the sun warms my skin. Looking forward to doing this on our pontoon (the one we plan to buy in the next few months) this summer!

Ambition, Blogging, GenX, Imagination, Music, Positivity, Self Help, Self Improvement

What Fascinates You?

8 Comments

As a Gen X er, the 1980’s was the decade that saw me through the ages of 13 through 22. Music was a huge part of that experience for me. Much of that time, though, I was listening to songs and artists from the 1970’s. The music of the 1970’s sounded better to my ears, and still does.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a few favorite songs that were put out in the 80’s.

One, in particular, has my attention again. On account of self-help maven Martha Beck.

It’s the song “Fascination” by The Human League.

Back to Martha Beck.

For years now, I’ve been really into self-help books, as well as articles written by Martha and the like. Late in 2022, I saw an ad online for a free self-help “Master Class” led by Ms. Beck. I signed up for it and am currently 40 minutes into it (it’s an hour long and I’m not a dummy, I know it’s free so that I can be bombarded with pleas in my email box to sign up for costly self-help courses).

Anyway. I think of myself as a DIY’er when it comes to self help books and courses. From these, I take a little bit of this and a little bit of that, leaning into the nuggets that speak to me.

What caught my attention so far in this course is Martha’s idea of what the word “fascination” means and the importance it holds for finding your path in life. How I see it is that the “path” = my livelihood.

She describes fascination as “attention without effort”. That makes a lot of sense, don’t you think?

We all have those things that we can just focus on and marinate in without even trying, right? Topics, activities, concepts, fields of study.

I’ve got myself a draft folder in which I’ve started a list of the things that fascinate me. It’s going to be a long list that will evolve over time. I think it’ll be worth the effort. Especially if I do something with it afterwards.

What would be on your list of “fascinations”?

Blogging about things that fascinate me is a no-brainer. It’s an opportunity to fly my “freak flag” so to speak; to explore and experiment.

Other potential actions I could take based on pursuing that which fascinates me also fascinates me. Maybe if I follow those threads of fascination, I will unlock a skill or talent I didn’t know I had which will lead to new career opportunities. Or maybe it’ll simply provide me with some solid writing fodder.

As long I’m learning something new, it’s all good.

If you didn’t want to check out the video I shared here, let me tell you what resonated for me, as I gave my shoulders a workout while chair dancing to this song just now.

That would be these lyrics: “just looking for a new direction, in an old familar way, the forming of a new connection, to study or to play”. It’s a good way of describing what I’m trying to do here on this blog in 2023.

And you? Any song lyrics that speak to you, particularly in your blogging life?

Please share in the comments!

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Creative Writing, Employment, Humor, Self Improvement

Ambition, Anxiety, and 2023

10 Comments

I am just one of a multitude of personal bloggers out there in the world. But I think what makes me unique is that I’m saddled with a complex that comedian Michelle Wolf is at least partially responsible for.

During a stand up special I watched a while back, she said something to the effect of “So you tell me you have a blog, right?”. She makes a weird face, then continues with “Oh, that’s cute. You write stuff about yourself and your life that nobody wants to read but you put it out there anyway? Good for you!” This, from my recollection, was said with a big fat smirk on her cute little curly headed face.

Don’t get me a wrong-I got over her chipmunk-ey voice enough to enjoy her comedy. She has that quality that, to me, marks a truly great comedian: she pushes boundaries and speaks uncomfortable truths. And I applaud her sensible yet hip footwear choices.

But…..ouch! I resemble her remarks.

I am curious though; can anyone else relate to the feeling of being called out like this? Totally rational as it was not a one on one conversation I had with Ms. Wolf here, right? Like being seen for who you are, but not in a good way, making you want to immediately crawl back into the hole of complete social obscurity?

If this sounds like you, please share your stories in the comments. Commiserating with you all is a huge perk for me as a blogger.

Moving on (oblivious of course to the possibility that I’m simply proving Michelle Wolf right).

I blogged in this space pretty sporadically in 2022. I blogged about the massive changes the year brought for me and my family, some aspects getting more emphasis than others. This year, I’ve shared my political opinions. I’ve talked about my grandson in this space.

For those of you who have read what I wrote in this space in 2022 and chose to come back and read more and/or gave me a follow, I thank you so very much for that. It’s appreciated.

2023 is now upon us.

I’ve got a lot of ambition when it comes to blogging and writing. I am certain that if I don’t step it up now, I won’t ever get to wherever it is that I’m supposed to be as a creative writing enthusiast.

So, 2023 is the year in which I step things up.

Baby steps, of course. But like, a ton of them.

Step #1 is to publish blog posts more frequently.

Leaning into learning is what I’ll be doing in the new year, in tandem with blogging. Gobbling up more self-help books. Taking online courses and following threads that pique my curiosity. Improving my photography skills. Gaining more knowledge about child psychology. Stuff like that. Learning about the things that I can use for good, if that makes sense.

I’ve also got a plan to improve my health by sharpening my culinary skills and keeping a food diary. I will be pursuing paid employment in 2023 as well, because at 55 I’m not interested in retiring yet. Exploring all employment options (self, at home, in a store or a non-profit) and blogging about it along the way will be happening.

The caveat for me is that going into 2023, I will continue watching my grandson most weekday afternoons. To make any headway on these plans of mine, I need to summon a great amount of self-discipline. My days will need to become more structured. I do have a plan for that. It starts with having a better sleep schedule and a set time for blogging related stuff every day.

2023 feels bright and shiny to me right now. That’s probably due to my optimistic nature. I am self-aware enough though to know the shine of the new year will fade over time. Bumps in the road will happen, as they do. I (and you) ought to remain nimble to overcome and adjust.

I realize this post was a lot. If you’re still reading this, well, thanks Pal.

You are the best.

**pic of Michelle Wolf wearing cool shoes courtesy of https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/michelle_wolf_joke_show**

**HNY image courtesy of https://www.rd.com/article/new-year-wishes/**