Category Archives: SNL fans

Fun, Halloween, Humor, Planning, SNL fans

All Hail Halloween!

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As I’ve been simultaneously working some extra hours, gearing up for a move to a new office next week, planning what I hope is going to be an epic Halloween Potluck/Costume party for work, and putting together my crazy, creepy Halloween costume, one thing is clear.

I’ve got Halloween on the brain. I’m totally geeking out on it, actually.  So that is what I’m writing about today.

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Thanks to my Google playlist subscription, I am now able to find a number of Halloween themed playlists. Of course, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson is on virtually all of them. I had an opportunity about 6 years ago to participate in a “Thriller” flash mob with my Zumba instructor and several fellow students. I now regret not taking that opportunity. If it were to be presented to me in the here and now, I like to think I’d jump right in.

Then there’s the treats. I was cursed blessed with the sweetest of sweet tooths. My mom and dad, aka Bonnie and Babe, somehow infused this into my soul.

Of course, this year, just like all the years previous to it, 3 weeks before this holiday,  I went and purchased a large bag of my favorite candy to pass out to the little ones who come to my door on Halloween night. I did this with the full knowledge that in the last two years here in our Colorado townhome community, we have had a total of 3 trick or treaters. But I figure I ought to be prepared for an onslaught, you know, just in case.

The bag is now half full.

Speaking of treats, here’s a sweet/salty (ok, mostly sweet) Halloween snack mix recipe I’ve been making on an annual basis. In fact, I’m bringing it to work for our Halloween extravaganza. It is beyond simple, and for my fellow sweet toothers out there, it really hits the spot this time of year.

Mix together the following in a large bowl:

6 cups caramel corn

2 cups cashews (or peanuts, if you prefer)

1 1/2 cups candy corn

1/3 cup raisins

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Ta-da! My Halloween snack mix is ready to take to work tomorrow!

A favorite Halloween tradition of mine is watching “Average Andy” go through haunted houses on “Ellen”. It never fails to crack me up! The clip below is from last year because the one from this year isn’t on YouTube yet. In case you haven’t caught it yet, you’re welcome 🙂  Check out Andy’s indignation at 1:43–Hilarious!

As I mentioned here,  I don’t sew. And despite the fact that I have a fully evolved male partner in my life who actually can and does sew, I don’t expect him to sew me a new costume every year. Or any year. I prefer to go the DIY route. Get an idea in my head and figure out how I’m going to make it happen. Here’s my SNL inspired costume for this year. Boo!

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Yes, I have already worn this in public!

 

 

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Adventure, Creative Writing, Dreams, Education, Entertainment, Humor, SNL fans

Wannabe intern

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In the way back of my life, I was a college student working on a bachelor’s degree in Social Work. As part of obtaining my degree, I was required to complete an internship.

This of course is not uncommon. I’m sure many of you readers have had your own experiences with internships.

I’d always been an eager student. Full of curiosity. Ready to soak up any knowledge there for the taking to better myself. I chose to intern at the local Children’s Home.

Working with intellectually disabled children was not necessarily my end goal, career-wise. As I recall, my decision to take that internship was guided more by the limited amount of choices before me. The biggest thing I learned from this experience is that managing these children’s erratic, peculiar, and sometimes explosive behaviors was not something I had an instinct or talent for.

And that was and is perfectly okay with me. The point is, I learned from that experience the track I didn’t want to pursue in my future career in social work.

Here’s the thing, though: while approximately 30 plus years have passed since this internship, I’m still as hungry as ever to learn something new. Expand my horizons. Both career-wise and for my own personal satisfaction.

Let’s pretend for a moment that the Esteemed Wizard of General Adult Education has presented me with an opportunity to be an intern again, at the age of 52. With no restrictions or guidelines. Just whatever kind of internship I can dream up. She is a wizard after all, so she can make that happen for me, right?

I believe that 99.9% of internships are unpaid, so I would have zero expectation of any financial compensation. But since this is my own customized internship opportunity, I would require that I 1) have the ability to set my own hours and 2) if the internship location was not in the north Denver metro area (where I currently live, if you didn’t know this already), that I would have free housing and a modest daily stipend for culinary sustenance.

Here’s one possibility:

Interning at Saturday Night Live. I am a life-long, hard-core fan of this show. From Gilda Radner’s “Rosana Rosana-dana” to Chris Farley’s “motivational” speaker sketch (I live in a van down by the river!) to Debbie Downer, all the incarnations of “Weekend Update” and most of everything in between, this show has amused me for over 40 years.

I imagine I’d be hanging out in the writer’s room while the writers spitball ideas for scenes, dialogue, or sketches. I’d have pen and notebook at the ready to jot down the best ideas and expand upon them. I’d have opportunities to interview the writers, asking them questions about their journeys to becoming the writers they are. I’d get to hang out with celebrities and learn a bit about what makes them tick.

I wouldn’t be just a taker in this scenario either. I’d provide sketch ideas, like this one:

Heidi Gardner, playing Brie Bacardi opposite Mikey Day’s Nico, is interviewed by the newbie entertainment reporter with a ridiculous name, played of course by Kenan Thompson. At Coachella. He asks her how she got her name. She explains that “years ago” (2017) at a “low key ” late evening soiree with her besties sitting by a fire on the beach, she drank this:

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For reference, here’s one of the sketches featuring these two doofuses:

Once Brie realizes that Nico has been behind her photobombing the live interview, she loses her shit (because this interview was supposed to be all about her) and a ridiculous fight ensues, which ends when he hands her a new puppy he has named “Breezer”.

What do you think-do I have a shot?

More importantly, however: if you, imaginative and curious readers, could be an intern right now, where would it be and why? I would love to hear what you come up with!

Humor, Politics, SNL fans

A few good white men

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Lately, I’m sickened by the sight of angry, white, American men. I think it’s bullshit that they have all the power in this country, which has given them a podium to whine and bitch from about their supposed lot in life.

Here’s a visual, if I haven’t been descriptive enough for you:

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My optimistic nature, however, is getting the better of me. Fact is, there’s plenty of good white American men out there. Men who are respectable and respectful. Men who have goodness in their hearts. Men who do not hesitate to speak truth to power in their own special ways. So let’s hear it for a few of these dudes.

Al Franken

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So Al and I go way back. To 2010, specifically. Hubs and I attended an event with another couple in support of a new candidate for U.S. House of Representatives in Winona, Mn. We lived in Wisconsin at the time, but as admirers of Al’s work in congress not to mention SNL, we were there to see him, not the candidate, Tim Walz. So after Al gave a short speech and the four of us had wandered into the reception hall, I got a chance to meet Al in person. We had just read his book “Lies and the Lying Liars that Tell Them”,  which we got him to sign later that evening.  I was making a bee line for the cookie tray because free cookies, duh, when I realized I was face to face with Al. I couldn’t not say anything. But I couldn’t think of anything actually intelligent to say. So I stuck my hand out and said “Hi Al” with a stupid grin on my face. Then I proceeded to tell him I lived in Wisconsin so I wouldn’t be voting in Minnesota. But I added that I did indeed hail from Minnesota. I’m sure he was super impressed. Hubs and I have been listening to his latest audio book “Giant of the Senate”. Best quote so far in this book (we are on Chapter 3) : “Just because you are right doesn’t mean you have the right to be a jerk”.

Anyway, I remain a fan of Al’s to this day. I sincerely hope he stays in politics. We need more guys like him there.

Weird Al Yankovic

He’s the guy that made being weird cool, don’t you think? And he does a great job of satirizing American politics. Political satire is an important tool  coping mechanism these days, dontcha think?

Al Gore

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My favorite champion of the environment. Instead of enjoying a quiet retirement after leaving his job as VP in the White House, he chose to take up the most important cause of all: educating the public about climate change: what it means and how we can fix it.

Here’s to three great Al’s, courtesy of one of my very favorite Paul’s:

 

 

Girlfriends, Humor, SNL fans

Women I have yet to meet

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I think I have a lot of writing material on the topic of my relationships with other women. I also sincerely believe that 2017 is the Year of the Woman. Seriously. So I’m going to imagine/write about what broads/chicks/badass vagina owners I would like to hang  with.  Here’s some names and scenarios off the top of my noggin:

Chelsea Handler

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I know she can be vulgar and off-putting to some. Sometimes, even to me. I say this after having recently read “Are you there Vodka? It’s me Chelsea”. Nonetheless, I admire her frankness and wit. And she’s an awesome story teller. And most importantly, she appears to me to be totally authentic.

Setting for my “gal date” with Chelsea: Some top notch wine, red or white, Chelsea’s pick. Discuss politics and social media with her. And she’s a dog lover like me. Her dogs Chunk and Tammy should most certainly be present.

 

Lisa Ling

For those of you not in the know, Lisa is a reporter with her own show on CNN, “This is Life with Lisa Ling”. She inserts herself into cultures that are different from her own experiences. She follows her curiosity. I’ve watched shows where she has spent time amidst biker gangs in L.A., with Satanists in Detroit, and where she featured  a “pick up artist” who holds retreats for nerdy single guys looking for love. I am fascinated each time. And impressed by her non-judgemental-ness that inhabits her as she is talking one on one with her interviewees. So naturally if I ever got the honor of hanging with LL, it’d have to be when she’s on assignment for her show.

Jessica Simpson

This one has all the hallmarks of a “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” type video. Jessica and I would go shopping at fun boutiques. I would ask her for fashion tips. Pedicures of course would be on the agenda. I think Jessica is likely one of those people who is smarter than she appears, but fun loving and kind. And for some reason, I picture that she eats like a 400 lb trucker and loves sweet wine.

Oprah

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“O” and I would sip tea in a her garden. I would need to allow plenty of time for this tete a tete.  Main question to ponder with her: What do you want to be known for and why? Get her best life advice. I’ve heard she does have a place here in Colorado…..

Tina and Amy

(like Oprah, last names are not necessary here)

Hear me out on this one: All my life, I’ve wanted to visit New York City. Hubs has no interest as he’s been there once and characterized the city as “smelling of urine” and made it clear he has no intentions whatsoever of going there ever again. So if I’m to go there I need a tour guide or two right? That’s where Tina and Amy would come in.  We’d tour 30 Rock,  Central Park, the Museum of Natural History. Of course I would need to check off one of my top “bucket list” items, which, not surprisingly to anyone who follows me on this blog, would be to be in the audience at SNL. No need for Tina and Amy to join me on this particular venture. They’d be way too much of a distraction for me.

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Sheryl Crow

Life long rock ‘n roll fantasy (ok, maybe since I was like 40 something): to, for one glorious moment, be a back up singer in her band during one of her concerts. Maybe in Austin, Texas. That’s a place I’d like to see some day. I’d wear some cool black rocker chick type outfit and croon along in the background to “If it Makes You Happy” or “Soak up the Sun”. Just a song or two, and I’d be satisfied. I’d also dig discussing the following topics with her: motherhood, music, and fashion. I like to think we could learn a little bit from each other.

 

Jen Sincero

Would bowing down in gratitude be too much?  Inspirational nuggets to which I cling, from Jen’s “You are a Badass” book: the interesting question of “What can I get away with?”, the line on page 65 which states “Nobody who ever accomplished anything big or new or raised a celebratory fist in the air did it from their comfort zone”, and this one from page 50: ” You’re on a journey, with no defined beginning, middle, or end. There are no wrong twists or turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and ever will be”. Jen has inspired me in oh so many ways. I just want to sit down and talk with her, one on one. The setting is not important to me here.  Of course my insecurity would require that I get her totally honest opinions about my writing and my blog. And I would listen with an open mind and heart to any advice she would wish to bestow upon me.

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Helen Mirren

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This woman looks damn good at 71, right? I have read about her online and the most surprising and relatable tidbit I learned was that she is a thrift store enthusiast, just like me! She doesn’t understand why a woman would spend like $888 on a new dress from a fancy boutique when they can purchase the same or similar frock at a thrift store for like 20 bucks. I am right there with her on this. Helen and I would sip tea together at Dushanbe tea house in Boulder. We would discuss her best quotes and best life lessons. This would be brilliant!

bloggingfundamentals, political humor, SNL fans

Dear SNL

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For the love of all that is comically holy, please put together a political satire special this summer. You have so much fodder! You owe this to your fans. And we really need humor right now, especially with the crappy White House reality show on our screens 24/7. Let me give you some specific ideas:

Alec Baldwin as Trump. Duh. As a devoted SNL fan, we need to see his take on Trump pushing aside the world leader as if he was the leader of a gang of bullies on the school playground.
Toddler Trump shove

I would also like to see a revival of the “man baby” skit (SNL man baby) which could very easily incorporate Baldwin as Trump.

How about a skit with Ivanka (Scarlett Johansson) making champagne popsicles with Martha Stewart (maybe Ana Gasteyer could make an appearance?)

We must see a skit of Jared Kushner wearing a swim cap with red horns on top. It’s all about his voice though. In real life, we know not what it actually sounds like. It’s got to be either like super annoying like Pee Wee Herman or Gilbert Gottfried, or it’s like Barry White or James Earl Jones. Obvs, Keenan is doing the voice (assuming James Earl Jones is not available. And Jimmy Fallon will be doing Jared, with Keenan in a bubble dressed like BW/JEJ). Bad lip syncing may or may not ensue. The bonus is that Jimmy would have a hard time keeping himself from busting a gut laughing during this skit. Jimmy doing Jared

I also believe we need to see the following: Puppets. Not like the Muppets. More like marionettes, like John Cusak used in Being John Malkovich (one of my favorite movies). So Putin is the master puppeteer. The puppet of course is Alec Baldwin as Trump, who is then the puppeteer of Sean Spicer. So basically you have the trifecta of political comedy, with Melissa McCarthy using her physical comic genius to the max as Sean Spicer, the poor pitiful puppet. Trump puppet speech

This extravaganza also needs to include Cecily Strong as Girl from the Party. But the party was at Jared and Ivanka’s place. Just imagine the goofy things she would say. She’d call them “Merveena and Joren”.
Cecily Strong

Kathy Griffin. This is a risky one to be certain. It has to be the right female comic to do Kathy Griffin (Melissa Villasenor who does the best and weirdest impressions. Love her so much). So it’s SNL-ified version of her apology video. Only we see Steve Bannon (aka the grim reaper) in shadow behind her. Maybe Trump/Baldwin would be in the periphery.

Melissa as Kathy Griffin

So get to work, SNL Writers! The fodder is much too plentiful at this moment to not take this opportunity to create the most epic political satire extravaganza to date.

If only I could be a fly on the wall in the SNL writer’s room……