All posts by Rhonda

I'm a 55 year old lover of life, family, friends, and creative writing (amongst numerous other activities, people, animals, big ideas, and things). I am a native Minnesotan transplanted to the Denver metro area from Wisconsin due to a job transfer for my fabulous husband. I am and always have been in my heart of hearts, a writer. I was a case manager/social worker for many years in Wisconsin and am now ready for my new chapter in life as a writer. I enjoy writing about day to day (mis)adventures I experience in my new Colorado environment, the people I love and those that inspire me, places I've traveled to, music that makes my world go 'round, politics and current affairs, and general observations and ideas about life and ideas on how it could be improved. My hope is that my blog will be interactive, collaborative, and inspiring.
Christmas, Cooking, Death, Google Playlists, Joy, Love, Music, Self-Reflection

Music, In-Laws, and a Christmas Regret

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The first bluetooth speaker I had was a Christmas present from Hubs’ brother and his wife. I loved it so much.

It was light and had a handle to allow me to easily carry it with me and take to work, to sit outside, or to a party, where I could listen to and share with others the playlists I made via Google. Either I didn’t realize that my brother in law and his wife knew how obsessed I was with music or it was just a lucky guess on their part.

I was so grateful for this present and enjoyed it so much; but for no good reason, I don’t believe I specifically reached out to either of them to say thank you. At the time, I believed Hubs thanked them for all of the presents that Christmas.

My brother in law died suddenly from a heart attack before turning 60, four years ago. It bothers me that I never expressed my appreciation of this gift to him.

Fast forward to Christmas 2022. Hubs only living sibling, my fabulous sister in law, is so thoughtful and generous when it comes to the Christmas presents she gets for all of us each year. This year, one of the presents she spoiled me with was a Google nest. She knows just how much I adore listening to music. She has a great appreciation for it herself. What a fabulous present!

I’m listening to Pink (side note: the three of us-me, Hubs, and SIL, have tickets to see Pink in concert in August 2023) as I write this, which is streaming on the nest. Hubs set this speaker up in the most perfect space; on top of my buffet in the kitchen, next to the Keurig. Having music on in my kitchen is just heaven to me. As I’m cooking something up, I fall into such a pleasurable state of mind while I’m listening to whatever tunes I choose.

One of the best advantages of our move to Minnesconsin is that I get to spend time on the regular with my SIL. I get to tell her again and again how much I love the Google nest she got me this Christmas.

I’ve kind of gotten away from sharing music that inspires me on these blog posts. I’m going to start to rectify that with this incredible song and dance by Pink. The lyrics resonate for me and the athleticism displayed here is fantastic.

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Creative Writing, Employment, Humor, Self Improvement

Ambition, Anxiety, and 2023

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I am just one of a multitude of personal bloggers out there in the world. But I think what makes me unique is that I’m saddled with a complex that comedian Michelle Wolf is at least partially responsible for.

During a stand up special I watched a while back, she said something to the effect of “So you tell me you have a blog, right?”. She makes a weird face, then continues with “Oh, that’s cute. You write stuff about yourself and your life that nobody wants to read but you put it out there anyway? Good for you!” This, from my recollection, was said with a big fat smirk on her cute little curly headed face.

Don’t get me a wrong-I got over her chipmunk-ey voice enough to enjoy her comedy. She has that quality that, to me, marks a truly great comedian: she pushes boundaries and speaks uncomfortable truths. And I applaud her sensible yet hip footwear choices.

But…..ouch! I resemble her remarks.

I am curious though; can anyone else relate to the feeling of being called out like this? Totally rational as it was not a one on one conversation I had with Ms. Wolf here, right? Like being seen for who you are, but not in a good way, making you want to immediately crawl back into the hole of complete social obscurity?

If this sounds like you, please share your stories in the comments. Commiserating with you all is a huge perk for me as a blogger.

Moving on (oblivious of course to the possibility that I’m simply proving Michelle Wolf right).

I blogged in this space pretty sporadically in 2022. I blogged about the massive changes the year brought for me and my family, some aspects getting more emphasis than others. This year, I’ve shared my political opinions. I’ve talked about my grandson in this space.

For those of you who have read what I wrote in this space in 2022 and chose to come back and read more and/or gave me a follow, I thank you so very much for that. It’s appreciated.

2023 is now upon us.

I’ve got a lot of ambition when it comes to blogging and writing. I am certain that if I don’t step it up now, I won’t ever get to wherever it is that I’m supposed to be as a creative writing enthusiast.

So, 2023 is the year in which I step things up.

Baby steps, of course. But like, a ton of them.

Step #1 is to publish blog posts more frequently.

Leaning into learning is what I’ll be doing in the new year, in tandem with blogging. Gobbling up more self-help books. Taking online courses and following threads that pique my curiosity. Improving my photography skills. Gaining more knowledge about child psychology. Stuff like that. Learning about the things that I can use for good, if that makes sense.

I’ve also got a plan to improve my health by sharpening my culinary skills and keeping a food diary. I will be pursuing paid employment in 2023 as well, because at 55 I’m not interested in retiring yet. Exploring all employment options (self, at home, in a store or a non-profit) and blogging about it along the way will be happening.

The caveat for me is that going into 2023, I will continue watching my grandson most weekday afternoons. To make any headway on these plans of mine, I need to summon a great amount of self-discipline. My days will need to become more structured. I do have a plan for that. It starts with having a better sleep schedule and a set time for blogging related stuff every day.

2023 feels bright and shiny to me right now. That’s probably due to my optimistic nature. I am self-aware enough though to know the shine of the new year will fade over time. Bumps in the road will happen, as they do. I (and you) ought to remain nimble to overcome and adjust.

I realize this post was a lot. If you’re still reading this, well, thanks Pal.

You are the best.

**pic of Michelle Wolf wearing cool shoes courtesy of https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/michelle_wolf_joke_show**

**HNY image courtesy of https://www.rd.com/article/new-year-wishes/**

Adult children, Education, Friendships, Grandparenting, Gratitude, Home, Lifestyle, Positivity, Thanksgiving

8 of Many

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It is just incredible to me that tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. Time has just been chugging along, hasn’t it?

Just to catch you up, because I know lately I’ve been so hit and miss with this blogging thing: I’ve been watching my 8 year old grandson at my house Mon-Fri for several weeks now. Yes, he is not in school and yes, he should be. And yes he will be, eventually.

It’s a long and complicated story that I have shared small bits of on this platform. Bottom line, my grandson has behavioral issues that thus far the school faculty have not been able to successfully manage. Kiddo is now enrolled in a specialized day program for kids like him. While soon he’ll be attending in person (with the goal of him attending regular school in the near future), for now he is doing 3 hours each morning of virtual learning and treatment through this program.

And I am the enforcer. Maybe hall monitor is a better way to put it.

Anyway, I feel like I needed to just get that out there because it’s my current situation; an unexpected challenge. I need no sympathy here. I’m focused on the good, because, simply put, that is what’s helpful to me. To all of us-don’t you think?

What is good for you all right now? What, or who, is it that immediately comes to mind when you read that question? That for what you have geniune gratitude?

Here’s 8 (of many) things I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving:

  1. The time I’m getting to spend in the company of my grandson. Time I didn’t see coming. Listening to him tell jokes and try out different accents. Watching him sled down the little hill in our yard after a recent snowfall.
  2. My dear and thoughtful Hubs, who thoroughly cleaned the refrigerator last weekend without being asked while I was out of town bonding with my sister and 6 of our badass female cousins.
  3. Bonus kids: my daughter’s kind and loving boyfriend and his 3 year old cutie pie.
  4. Our awesome house here in Minnesconsin. The layout, the vibe, the possibilities. The feeling that we will live here for the rest of our lives.
  5. My kids. The maturity I’m seeing as they make their way out of their 20’s. The bonds we’ve developed over time with each other.
  6. Being unemployed. The free time that gives me to shower this house with some love and holiday cheer.
  7. Friendships: the ones we have in our new neighborhood and our dear old friends who we now live closer to and thus get to spend time with more frequently.
  8. Being able to host Thanksgiving at our new house for the in-laws and our daughter, grandson, and bonus kids.

With that, I wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving spent with family and/or friends and stuffing yourselves with all your favorite foods.

American Politics, Anxiety, Climate Change, MidTermElections2022, Voting

Vote, Vote, Vote!

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I’m just one vote.

Each one of us, here in America, are but just one vote.

Let’s get over that, shall we? Because if there’s justenough of those with the “I’m just one vote” mindset who uses that as their free pass to sit one out this week here in the U.S., we are doomed.

In my opinion, anyway. Not that you asked for it, but you know I’m going to give it regardless. This is my blog and the mid-term elections are going to be consequential.

What is your plan to vote this election season? Before work, after work, on your lunch break? After you drop the kids off at school or first thing in the morning? Or maybe you’re ahead of me and have already voted absentee or via mail in ballot. If you don’t have a plan, please, for the love of American democracy, make one now. One that will work for you, whatever your circumstances may be.

Time is of the damn essence here, friends. Our future, and more importantly, the future of generations under us (for me, that’s Milennials and Gen Z) is on the fucking line.

Anyway, that’s how I see it.

I am voting straight blue, so that:

  • Roe v. Wade can (finally) be codified into law. It just blows my mind that SCOTUS took women’s bodily autonomy away from them after 50 years.
  • More will be done legislatively to address gun violence in this nation.
  • Climate change can be comprehensively addressed, providing scores of American workers with jobs in the clean energy field and protecting Mother Earth against further destruction.
  • We have a shot at leveling the playing field when it comes to taxes; the rich paying their fair share and the not-so-rich getting fair tax breaks.
  • Social Security, not an entitlement program, but one we all pay into as workers, will remain in place.
  • Our LGBTQ+ citizens can retain their right to marry and adopt children.
  • American educational institutions will be supported and not become further eroded.
  • Access to health care can expand and costs can be reined in so our seniors and others with health issues can afford their prescription meds and co-pays. No one in this country should have to choose between paying their utility bill or getting their health care needs met.

I’m nervous as hell about these mid-term elections. I suspect some of you are as well.

Let’s all do our part and get to the polls on Tuesday!

Childhood, Dogs, Education, Faith, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Time Management

To Do Lists and the Kid

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What do you all think about “to do” lists? Do you swear by them? Does the thought of making one stress you out?

I think these are interesting questions. I imagine answers being very subjective; dependant on how you were raised, how you’re wired, the generation you’re in, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

I have been making them for as long as I can remember, at work and at home. Lately, I’ve been making “to do” lists for the entire week vs. daily. Having all the tasks written out in black and white knowing I have the whole week to get it all done makes it easier to manage. And I’m not a big procrastinator, so that helps.

Back when we were in Colorado and our daughter and grandson were living with us, one day the kid decided to create himself a “to doo” list.

Of course I kept it and may even frame it someday. I feel like that’s the kind of Grandma I am. Here it is:

Now, some of what he wrote is figure-outable. Some of it, not so much. He’s 8, folks.

So, there’s 9 tasks on his list. Let me translate it for you:

  1. Make You Tube video (the kid loves to do this, though “hates” having his picture taken. Go figure.).
  2. Watch news (I think he put this down because Hubs and I always turn on MSNBC for Ari Melber weeknights at 5 p.m.).
  3. Do something to get money (I appreciate his industrious intentions).
  4. Play with Radar (awwww…).
Radar is living his best life here in Minnesconsin Sept. of 22

5. Sit and talk (love that he put this in there).

6. Eat dinner (his favorite then was chicken nuggets and mac ‘n cheese, now he’s more of a grilled cheese kinda guy).

7. Get ready for bed (so soon? there was usually some horsing around the house between 6 and 7).

8. Cuddle Radar (again…awww…yes I will be framing this).

9. Go to bed.

The most important thing on my “to do” list today is to attend an IEP meeting for him with my daughter at his new school. It’s a long and complicated story, but suffice it to say the kid is struggling, emotionally and socially. He’s been through some major changes in his young life and as a neurodivergent, sensitive, and inquisitive kid it’s been hard for him. For all of us here who love him as well.

I’m praying that between our combined love for the kid and my social work background, there will be a good outcome from this meeting.

As Whitney Houston sang in “The Greatest Love of All”: “I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be”.

***Header image courtesy of Lady Bird Johnson and https://www.momtastic.com/parenting/541137-40-amazing-quotes-parenthood/

Fashion, Humor, Life, Overthinking

Why Yes, This is a Post about Socks

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But first.

Something recently dawned on me: overthinking leads to indecisiveness which causes stagnancy.

That is why, today, less than 24 hours after starting this particular piece, you are getting a blog post from me about socks.

I’ve got too much going on in my day to day life now which hampers my ability to sit down and actually focus on writing a blog post. It’s all good, really. Or, most of it is. And I’m certain more of it will be. Time, patience, faith, and love for my family will get me through.

Anyway. About the damn socks.

I am a fan of them. In non-summer months of course.

I once had a business idea solely based on my appreciation of fuzzy socks (at least that’s what I call them, I’m sure there are other names for them). It was this: buy them in bulk. Bedazzle them. Find someone who can cross-stitch some bawdy catch-phrases onto them. Sell them on Etsy, at craft fairs. Probably not “Shark Tank” worthy but at the very least a fun art project, right?

I’ve sometimes wondered about those sock stores found in shopping malls. Do they make money at all? Maybe they’re owned and operated by obscenely wealthy trust fund babies who are obsessed with socks, so it doesn’t matter much if they are profitable. Who exactly buys their socks there on the regular? The potential answers to these questions intrigue me.

My youngest kid once had the following take on socks: “I don’t want to wear them, they are not the comfortable ones!” So, does that mean perhaps there is such a thing as uncomfortable socks? That people pay money for? Are they made with sandpaper? Tell me more, kid!

Wait a second.

Actually, I do own one pair of uncomfortable socks.

In my defense, they were free. I spotted them at work, when they were donated to the thrift store when I ran the food pantry there. Getting free stuff every so often was a sweet little perk at that job.

Despite my generous girth, I’ve got small feet (size 6). Yet, I could barely get these godforsaken socks over my feet and calves. The black stitching under the french fries is weirdly tight. They feel like compression socks, which I thankfully don’t need at this time. So, yes, kids, uncomfortable socks do exist after all.

If any of you are able to give me a viable explanation of why wearing mis-matched socks has become a thing in American society, that’d be great. Is it mere laziness, like it was when my kids did it as teenagers? Or is it a fashion statement that just flew under my radar?

There’s a surpising amount of songs about socks out there (yes that’s the kind of shit I google) but this one is special. Enjoy, my fellow sock fans!

Anxiety, Clarity, Inspiration, Life, Mental Health, Self Compassion, Uncategorized

Mother Yourself

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My take on self-compassion (aka self-care) is that it’s all about being the mother to yourself that you need in the moment.

The moment when you feel exhausted but don’t want to quit working on the current task because you feel you didn’t get enough of it done.

Or the moment when something you planned didn’t pan out the way you intended and you’re disappointed in yourself.

Maybe your mother is still alive and you have a wonderful relationship with her. Maybe you think of her as your best friend. Or maybe that relationship is the opposite of that. Maybe your mother is no longer here, like mine.

Either way, your mother can’t perform self-compassion activities for you. That’s your job. If you do this job well, the rewards are plentiful.

From my perspective, the biggest reward is feeling more relaxed and centered. My head is more clear. Mothering myself combats my anxiety. I’m better able to enjoy the present moment as a result. To be there for the ones I love.

Sometimes my mothering self is who reminds me that I need to get up early tomorrow so I better cease my late night Twitter scrolling and get to bed now so I feel rested when I wake up.

Sometimes my mothering self is who whispers “this too shall pass” and reminds me of all the obstacles I’ve overcome to get to the place I’m at now.

Other times my mothering self fixes a hot cup of peppermint tea and gives me permission to lounge on the couch, looking up at my knotty pine ceiling and just breathing, slow and steady.

In the mornings, my mothering self urges me to not skip doing my stretches and yoga that centers me and reduces my aches and pains.

Sometimes my mothering self takes on the role of cheerleader, giving me pep talks and saving uplifting images like these for me to contemplate.

Which one of these images speaks to you the most?

So, I say to you all: make an effort to mother yourself. You’ll feel so much better for it. And of course, you are more than worth it.

Gratitude, Happiness, Home, Home Decor, Lifestyle

It’s Wednesday and I’m in Love

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Hubs and I are in the new house and mostly settled, at long last.

This is me, coming up for air.

This is also me, who has made a self-promise to not overthink the writing of this post.

So.

I am in love with our new house. I’m deeply into the “nesting” stage of this process and I’m enjoying the hell out of it.

I’m going to avoid the temptation to regale you with the saga that was working with our moving company, and the relocation services company that I overpaid to hire them. I say this not only because I’m more dedicated than ever to find and celebrate the good, but this saga began at the end of April and ended, thankfully, at the end of August. And I’m so over it.

Let me just tell you about the “nesting” process I am currently basking in.

It’s reminiscent of 30 odd years ago when I was about to give birth to my first baby. It’s this burst of energy coupled with hopes for the future and it compels me to organize, decorate, and bake.

I’ve been shopping a lot on Wayfair and Etsy, in search of just the right things to craft this joint into our dream home. To get the aesthetic right. It’s fun to get packages most every day; it’s like Christmas for me!

I feel so fricking blessed, lucky, and deep-in-my-bones happy right now.

In the spirit of efficiency with your time and mine, here’s a few pics of the house at the moment. I’m determined to keep things simple these days. Plus, I have zucchini muffins to make using the zucchinis in our garden today.

My new kitchen
The hutch mmahttps://pollyannaspath.com/2018/06/27/the-story-of-the-traveling-hutch/
Our little sunporch
Front Door
Garden!
Butterfly garden out front

Aging, Camping, Changes, Clarity, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, marriage, Summer

The Space I’m In

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It’s Sunday morning and I’m in the camper (aka our current home) with Hubs and Radar.

Radar is sitting across from me at the dinette, thoroughly engrossed in licking his nether regions. He’s on the bench seat that I keep covered in a beach towel for his comfort each night.

The summer is almost over.

The summer of 2022 has been a little wild for me. Certainly strange. There’s been some surprises (of which I am generally a fan), good and bad in unequal measure.

What’s your take on life’s surprises?

This summer has also been invigorating: the fresh and clean breezes, frequent deer sightings, the birdsongs. Stimulating but also grounding for me. Radar making new friends.

Radar with the neighborhood pooch, Maya

It’s been a memorable season of our married life for sure. Living in a 21 foot camper for more than 2 months has been interesting, to say the least. We’ve joked that moving about the camper simultaneously is like playing “Twister”.

This upending of our lives to move back to Wisconsin has made me more acutely aware of a slew of things; namely the things, ideals, and people I will die on a hill for. It’s solidified my priorities. Given me more clarity.

I can now see more clearly how I want to live. I’m devoted to learning and growing, from my creative writing habit to gardening to grandparenting. My MIL has offered to teach me how to can, using the vegetables in our new-to-us garden. And I’m eager to get back to learning how to play my ukelele.

I think I just seriously aged myself in that last paragraph.

Whatever.

Maybe I will learn how to play and sing along to this lovely medley:

Isn’t this fantastic?

We are now less than 2 weeks out from moving into our sweet new house.

I’m aiming to do more of the enjoying of the present than wishing the time away.

But. It’s. Hard.

Because my head is swimming with ideas about what furniture is going to go where in the new house. The color schemes in each room. Where that beautiful new art piece with the lillies is going to be hung.

I’m missing our youngest, who has remained in Colorado. Though I am a bit less worried now about how they are going to fare without us a half hour drive away than I was when we arrived in Minnesconsin land in June. They now work at a place where they get to provide direct support to a very marginalized population. I am incredibly proud of them and hopeful they will persist, as I’m certain that workplace is better with them in their presence. And vice-versa.

While his mom’s at work, I’m taking care of our 8 year old grandson for several days between now and when we move into our house. 3rd grade in a new school starts right after we move in.

I think it’s fair to say that as a grandma, I’m a work in progress. I continue to learn as I go. But I’m up for it. The kid is so worth it. He’s been through a lot. So many changes in a short period of time.

My grandson is very bright, but also quite oppositional and reactionary. He’s also very funny, but sometimes gets carried away with it physically and ends up accidentally hurting himself or wrecking something. Suffice it to say, he requires a lot of energy from me.

Note to self: schedule a massage, STAT!

As you can see, I’m also a work in progress when it comes to self-compassion. I suspect many of you are too.

I have probably said this before in one of my blog posts, but I know for sure that writing these personal essays and getting them out there in the world is, for me, part of my self-compassion practice.

Anyone else feel this way about blogging?

Let me leave you, dear patient readers, with this creative rendition of a classic, feel-good Beatles song. Because life goes on. And as a tik-toker I came upon recently said “we’re not here for a long time, but we’re here for a good time”.

Isn’t this kid something else?
Grandparenting, Gratitude, Happiness, Home, House Hunting, Lifestyle

House number 8

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The afternoon of the day we toured what was our eighth (and final) home, I was watching my 8 year old grandson. And the kid was pouncing on my last nerve. I was at my wit’s end, between his shenanigans and the wounds I was still nursing after losing out on house number 7. The least annoying thing the kid did that afternoon, if you can believe it, was to repeat “are we there yet” over and over in a sing-songy voice in the backseat for no less than 15 minutes while I was driving to meet up with Hubs to check out this house.

I actually got to such a frazzled state that day that I barked to Hubs on our way to house number 8 something to the effect of “let’s just go back to Colorado”. A ridiculous thing to say, indeed. But we all say ridiculous things when we are at the end of our mental ropes, right?

The house has deeded access to a lake. It’s own dock. A beautiful flower garden out front that attracts butterflies. A patch of blueberries and strawberries. 3 larger vegetable gardens. Then there’s a small deck, a cozy sun room and beautiful flooring. There’s both an attached and a detached garage (aka man cave/party room). Hubs and I are thrilled that our offer was accepted.

It was just what we were looking for this whole time. Well-priced, easy access to water for pontooning and fishing, not too far away from the in laws and our daughter and grandson. And not a fixer upper (unlike the previous house we bid on).

The current owners of House number 8 offered to sell us much of the furniture. We, of course, were not looking at the furniture when we first saw the house. So, the owners allowed us to come over one night last week to take a look at all they were trying to unload so we could make some decisions.

On the dining room table was a note from them to us. In this note, they congratulated us on our new home and said they think we will love it. They also said they had picked veggies from the garden for us and we could just grab them from the fridge. They signed the note and supplied us with their personal cell phone numbers, stating to give them a call with any questions re: the house.

As Hubs has a green thumb and I’m eager to learn his ways, we were so appreciative that the owners also included a hand-written diagram of the gardens.

Wow, right? So thoughtful and kind. We came home with green beans, zucchini, kale, and cucumbers; as well as a damn good feeling about moving to this house.

I’m so glad we moved here, to “Minnesconsin”, (we are a very short drive to Minnesota, which delights me no end).

Thanks for your well wishes on us finding “the one”, friends.