Tag Archives: #Christianity

Dear Choice Books

This spring, Hubs and I attended a church fundraiser where I “won” a self-care basket in a silent auction.  It included lots of lovely items, such as a various sugar scrubs, a gift card for Starbucks, a cd of piano music. It also included a little book entitled “Letting Go and Trusting God”, with 180 devotions for “Life’s Tough Decisions”. As a Christian, I thought this would be a comforting, uplifting read. This turned out to be mostly true.

However. 

The other night, I hopped into bed and grabbed this little book of mine with the intention of reading a passage or two before I conked out. Here is the passage I chose that night:

But first: the following was written by the female author, who will remain nameless in this post as my commentary, after I share this with you, may put me in jeopardy of being sued.

I’ll pretend you don’t know how to use Google.

Side note: on the back of this book, the publisher, Choice Books, states “We Welcome Your Response”. Well,  I think I will take you up on that offer, kind sirs. 

I will highlight in red the parts that infuriated me the most, for reference. 

“One Small Decision”

One day, Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, went to visit some of the young women who lived in the area. But when the local prince, Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, saw Dinah, he seized her and raped her. 

Genesis 34:1-2 NLT

No question about it, the bulk of the blame for Dinah’s rape falls on Shechem and his unbridled passions. He looked, liked, and acted on impulse, with no thought for the consequences. Certainly he never cared what this would do to Dinah’s life. He made an awful choice with terrible results for Dinah, himself, and his people.

But that awful decision would never have happened had Dinah also not made a bad decision. Here she was in a strange place, and she went out alone. You might compare it to a lone woman going out in a less-than-savory neighborhood today. 

Though Dinah’s mistake doesn’t remove the blame that can be placed on Shechem, it did open her up to the rape. Savviness about dangers is something both genders need to have, but women just have to look out for themselves in ways that men don’t. It’s not fair but it’s the way things are. 

One small decision had an impact on Dinah’s life. It’s the same with us. Are we careful about the places we go, always considering how they could affect us physically or morally? Do we use good judgment about the people we spend a lot of time with? Those small choices can impact our lives, though perhaps differently from Dinah’s.

Okay, now for my commentary. 

First off, the “bulk of the blame” falls on Shechem Phleghm? For real? This “insight” from the author was written in the current times. This book was published in 2016, for fuck’s sake. Excuse me, but the “blame” is 100% on Phlegm, not Dinah. And his “unbridled passions”? From my view, “passion” is not a part of this or any rape situation. It’s more like “unbridled evil, anger, and hatred for women”.

Can I get an “Amen”, brothers and sisters?

Then there’s that “awful decision” that jackwad Phleghm made that would “never had happened had Dinah also not made a bad decision”. So, a gal decides to go and see her girlfriends in an unfamiliar place so that means she asked for it? Blame the victim much?

“It’s not fair but it’s the way things are”. Oh. My. God. You bet it’s not fair, sugar, but does that mean we as women are to accept it? It is what it is, you say? I don’t accept that notion. I refuse to. Instead, I will do what I can as a grandmother to my 4 year old grandson to instill in him respect for women and ensure he comprehends that “no” means “no”, no matter the environment, the circumstance, or the way the woman is dressed. My hope is that all mothers, grandmothers, aunts and other females that have boys in their lives will do the same so we can turn this shit around.

Sometimes the Bible sucks. Yes, I said it. But what sucks even more is people’s small-minded, backwards, idiotic, misogynistic interpretations of passages such as this.

Anyone want to join me for a book burning party? And I’m not referring to the Bible here, just for clarification. I am a Christian, after all.

Thank you

Hubs and I recently received the best thank you note very possibly in the history of thank you notes. After reading it, I questioned aloud if responding to this thank you note with a thank you note could be a thing. Because this lovely sentiment was deserving of this.

The note was written by a woman named Elaine (name has been changed because I view her as a private, humble person who would not feel comfortable being gushed over). She, along with Hubs and I and 4 other members of our church, formed a small group which meets bi-monthly over a meal  as a support system for each other in our personal journeys as Christians and human beings. I love that it’s called the “Joy group”.

So earlier this month, Hubs and I hosted the first gathering of our “Joy group” at our townhome. It was the first time we’ve had this many people over since we moved to Colorado last August. Earlier in the day, whilst doing my best to get the house clean enough for company and preparing a few things for us all to nosh on, my neurotic brain worried that our townhome might be too small to accommodate everyone, or that I might do that thing I do where I get really nervous and talk too much.

While we were right on the edge of being too close for comfort, the amount of space for this gathering was workable. While at times I probably did a bit more blabbing than perhaps I should have, the evening ended up going very smoothly and I think that all had a good time.

Elaine’s thank you note was verbose, but in a really really good way. She started out by apologizing for “running way behind” on sending a thank you note. How sweet is that? We weren’t even expecting a thank you note-from her or anyone else for that matter.  We were appreciative that our new church friends were interested in spending time getting to know us, and really, that’s thanks enough in my book. She then commented that we had a “lovely house” and that she enjoyed chatting with everyone. Despite the fact that I was certain I bored everyone with too much detail (yes, I am on the verbose side too-shocker right?) about our two kids and our grandson and how much I adore them all to pieces, she commented in this note that it “sounds like you have raised a couple of unique and responsible daughters”. She then apologized for what she perceived as a “slight” for asking us if we were renting (to which I replied no, we bought this townhome-maybe my nerves made me come across slightly defensive?) . She explained that she asked this question based on her understanding that the housing market is “still pretty tight for buyers” (so this of course was a totally legit question). She then commented on how we have “created a beautiful house” and mentioned that we must be glad to have gotten rid of the red walls in our kitchen, which was a reference to when I complained about the ugly red walls that existed in our tiny kitchen when we first moved in, which we have since painted a muted tan/yellowish color. Way to be thoughtful, right?

So with a grateful heart I say to you, Elaine, thank you so very much. You are a good, kind, thoughtful woman whom I am glad to know.

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