Are you a die-hard list maker like me?

If so, you probably find list-making to be a useful self-help tool. A way to keep things organized, in black and white, to check off as you go. To keep you on track and focused. It’s a good way to manage stress.

Sometimes I make a one day “to-do” list, and sometimes it’s a week long “to-do” list. If it’s an especially busy weekend coming up, I’ll create a “to- do list” for that too.

One interesting thing I’ve realized, however, is that often, at the end of the day, I’ve checked off everything on my “to-do” list except for the “non-essential” tasks. The kind of tasks that are just for me. They’re personal. They don’t benefit anyone but me. The fun stuff.

I put these tasks on my lists thinking that will “make” me do them. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t work that way. I often carry the “just for me” tasks into the next day. Then the next and the next. And sometimes I get to a point where I just stop putting those things on my lists altogether.

One recent example of this is painting rocks. I published a post a while back where I mentioned painting rocks as vegetables to be placed in our gardens. I ordered a set of acrylic paints months ago, with the notion that my grandson and I would use them together when I was watching him in the afternoons. Then, before I knew it, my daughter found a babysitter who lives much closer to her, and he no longer needed to come to my house after his day program/school.

I loved the idea of playing with these paints. Not that I’m some kind of talented artist. I’m not. But, now that I’m older and wiser I don’t care that I’m not talented. It’s totally beside the point. Painting original things is fun. It’s meditative. My mom was a great (non-professional) artist. She painted rocks herself back in the ’70s. I remember one in particular, which was a bowl of fruit. It was intricate and colorful and I sure wish I had come across it after she passed so I could have it as a memento.

Several weeks ago, after having “paint rocks” on my to-do lists since May, I went outside and picked a few decent-sized, flat-ish rocks. They sat in my basement, unadorned, until two weeks ago. The acrylic paint set was housed in my dining room cupboard, unopened.

That was the day I just decided I was going to paint those damn rocks. It was time to check it off my “to-do” list to ensure I would not abandon the idea of doing it altogether.

So I put up the plastic folding table which I, long ago, designated for arts and crafts with my grandson. I grabbed those three rocks, opened up the paints (oh so many pretty colors), got out those cheap plastic paint brushes the kid and I would use for water color pictures and simply painted them.

It felt good. Like I was giving myself a hug. I let my mind drift as I squeezed droplets of colors on a paper plate. I didn’t have any particular vision of what I wanted these rocks to look like. I just took the colors that pleased me the most and went with the flow.

I’ve got other items on my revolving “to-do” list that I infrequently get to. Those things are often self-care-related, like giving myself a pedicure. Or reading a book in the afternoon. Or messaging someone that I’d like to get to know better.

You’d think that being an unemployed empty-nester, I’d be engaging in all sorts of personally fulfilling activities. Maybe I just need to manage my time better. Get up earlier. Cut out the t.v. watching at night. Perhaps.

For now, though, I think for just one day-and soon-I will start my day by doing one of these more fun, self-serving, activities and push any of those “essential” tasks to later in the day, or even…the next day.