But It Involves Fire

The latest activity I’m interested in pursuing involves fire.

But I’m chicken shit when it comes to flames. My brain goes to all the bad things that can happen when you play with fire: you could burn your house down. You could burn yourself down.

I suppose this is all on account of being highly over-protected as a kid. I am the youngest by more than 8 years. A favorite story of Bonnie’s was when I was still in diapers, sitting on her lap (back before car seats, people) in the passenger seat of the family car with Babe at the wheel: a semi truck passed us (no doubt because Babe was going under the speed limit, which was his norm as an uber-cautious-in-all-things person), and he hollered at Bonnie to keep a tight hold on me so the draft from the semi would not suck me right out of the open window.

My healthy (or is it unhealthy?) fear of fire is on my mind these days because of Crystal’s blog post. In this post, she talked about a cathartic experience she had, which was found online on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop website. Essentially, as I understand it, you set a timer for 12 minutes. During this period of time, you take pen to paper and write about all the stuff that’s blocking your sense of peace. You are supposed to do this exercise for 5 days in a row. They call it “purge emotional writing”.

This post spoke to me. I started thinking about all the things emotions I’ve been going through these past couple of months on my blogging sabbatical. There’s frustration. Anger. Feelings of helplessness and confusion. You know, the stuff as a “Pollyanna” I tend not to write about, especially in this public platform.

So, I really want to do this exercise. But it involves fire.

I was thinking, maybe there’s an alternate method I could employ to get the same results. Customize it for myself, you know? A method that does not involve fire but provides the emotional release I seek. Then maybe I can relax a bit. Find the fun in blogging again.

One option is I could eat the paper after I’ve done all that emotional writing. I witnessed my kiddo (Rabbie, the artist) do this once during the pandemic. They wrote down something they wanted to manifest in their life, wadded that little piece of paper in a ball and down the hatch it went. Their theory was that consuming the word of the thing they wanted to make manifest would become part of them physically and therefore increase the odds that it would come to fruition.

On account of the fact that not only in my proposed emotional purge writing exercise would I be producing reams of inky paper, I wish to preserve my digestive system and not end up in the emergency room, so eating paper is a no-go for me.

If I had a fire pit along with a back yard, I could ask Hubs to build me a campfire 5 nights in a row in which I could, from a safe distance, toss my emotional writings into. But, alas, we live in a town home community where personal backyards do not exist, so that is not exactly an option here.

But what about those “smash rooms” I’ve heard about? The ones where you pay money to smash shit with a baseball bat while yelling incoherently about everything that pisses you off? That could be an interesting way to release my negative emotions, right?

Instead of obsessing about playing with fire, I could also choose to write all the negative shit in my head in a draft folder and then immediately delete it.

So…I guess I have some choices. Options I can choose to get it all out.

Between now and the next blog post I publish, I will choose one of these options and let it rip.

***Header image courtesy of https://www.hamblyscreenprints.com/how-to-burn-paper-at-home/

8 thoughts on “But It Involves Fire”

  1. Rhonda, this cracks me up. I’m going to see if by chance I can send you a video of one of my little fires. I have some ideas for making this even less dangerous. Regardless, I enjoyed your post, and I’m happy to see your break in the sabbatical. I’m struggling with posting recently, too. Thanks for the shout out!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Glad I amused you! That would be awesome if you sent me a video. It’s nice to be back. It feels like it’s time. And you are welcome! It’s easy to give a shout out to someone who inspires me like you do πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. I LOVE this idea. I have so many thoughts I need to get out of my head, and no outlet for them. For me at least, simply deleting my purge journal isn’t cathartic enough — I tried it. I have enough digestive issues without eating paper. And I do not want to jeopardize the shaky relationship we have with our septic system by flushing notebook pages. As a teen, I was a burner — letters, photos (those are stinky; 0/5 do not recommend, particularly indoors), and other unwanted memorabilia all went up in smoke. But now I’m older, more cautious, and have little eyes watching me constantly. We do have a backyard, though, so maybe a fire pit is in order?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I also read Crystal’s post and really commended her for her act of courage lol I don’t say courage lightly and I laugh bc I don’t have such courage… I have a hoarders mentality… In that I tend to save everything, including everything I write!

    I think I would fair well in one of those destructive rooms to get out anger… I’m someone who bottles things up… I’ve even had dreams where I want to scream but no sound escapes my mouth! Eek!

    Can’t wait to see what you decide! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love that song from the Talking Heads! I think for a lot of us who tend to naturally lean to the positive side of life, we can get emotionally oversaturated with negativity easily. This writing/burning sounds like a good way to release the oversaturation. Like many other folks, I tend to write my bleeping frustrations on a word document on my computer, and then delete the entire document. Banging on the keyboard brings a sense of finality! 😊 But I also like the idea of smashing things. We have friends who used to hold an electronics smash event. Broken, useless electronics would be put in a pile and smashed at until everyone felt better. Please let us know what you decide and how it works for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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