Monthly Archives: February 2024

Aging, Gratitude, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Wisdom, Work, Youth

Ageism and Me: Growing through Discomfort

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In a work setting, have you ever had to participate in an exercise, individually, then gather as a group later to discuss the experience?

I have. It made me super uncomfortable. Which I suppose is the point of these kinds of things.

It happened when I was working for a non-profit that served senior citizens, which is the population the agency I now work for serves.

The exercise was about uncovering our unconscious bias. Individually, we were directed to view images of different sorts of people. Hispanic, Black, Young, Male, Old, Asian, White, Female, etc. You get the gist. We were to, without thinking, select which of two images before us that we preferred (to work with). To just go with our instincts, suspending self-judgement.

A tall order.

The most disturbing result, for me, was that my preference skewed towards young people. I was working at a place that served old people, folks. It made me question everything. Am I an ageist? Am I not supposed to be serving senior citizens because of my unconscious bias? Should I switch paths and become a teacher, like my Dad always thought I should?

I was beside myself for a bit.

But, that was then and this is now. In the ensuing years, my perspective on aging and relating with older people has evolved. I’ve certainly moved past feeling terrible about this revelation.

It’s true that I love interacting with young people. I’ve got a grandson who just turned 10 and I embrace being his grandma. I find him, as well as plenty of other people younger than me, inspiring. Being in the company of youngins invigorates me. It often gives me hope for our collective future as a species.

It’s also true that there are plenty of people older, in some cases, quite a bit older than I, who I greatly enjoy being around. Those elders I find interesting, wise, and inspiring. Not only do I have the great fortune of having a pair of second parents (Mr. NOA’s mom and dad) in my life, but I also get opportunities to interact with other senior citizens in my work life (clients and volunteers) regularly.

These people model for me generosity of spirit. Generosity of wisdom. Generosity of their time and their money. I wholeheartedly respect and appreciate them for that.

And, it’s not lost on me that I am a Gen X’r (who is actively pondering what that even means to me personally) who is a senior citizen herself. I mean, most senior discounts are given once you turn 55…and I’m 2 years beyond that now.

I guess my point is this (and yes, this makes me sound like the seasoned crone I am): age, smage. I’m more interested in other characteristics of those I work and spend time with, such as their senses of humor, their talents and skills, and their outlooks on life.

As a nation and a world, we are living in interesting times. We all have our unconscious biases, whether we participate in exercises that reveal them or not. Ageism is but one “ism” that we ought to be honestly and openly discussing, don’t you think?

Creative Writing, Dogs, Love, marriage, Music, Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day 2024: Restless Legs, Dreams, and Love

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If I could be anywhere with anyone this Valentine’s Day, it’d be with Mr. None of the Above in the audience of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s “Restless Leg Tour”. I believe they are in NYC tonight. I came upon this tour online a couple of weeks ago and quickly shared it with Mr. None of the Above. I told him I figured it’d take about a couple grand for the two of us to fly to NYC (one of my top U.S. future travel destinations). This would include airfare, hotel, meals, and show tickets.

He laughed and laughed. Fucker.

No, I jest. Of course I didn’t think he’d agree that this was a great decision for us financially or that it was even feasible given our work and life schedules. But I enjoyed the fantasy while it lasted. Sigh.

I believe, however, that if Tina and Amy could understand how much I love that they are doing this show and for how long I have truly admired them as women in the world of comedy, they would certainly decide to book more shows closer to where we live. We could easily make the trip to Minneapolis or St. Paul, Madison or Milwaukee. Plus, I also have restless leg syndrome so that counts for something, right?

How about you, my lovely readers? What would be your heart’s desire if you could be anywhere with anyone on this Valentine’s Day?

Or, if you’re not feeling particularly dreamy today, how about just pausing to consider the things, whether they be non-things like people or pets, or experiences/activities, or physically tangible things that we are absolutely loving right now?

I’ll go first (like there’s another option here).

My best friendship and marriage (34 years in May!) with Mr. NOA

Taken in the early aughts and still one of my favorite pics

The badass female energy I’m surrounded by these days, at work, in my personal life and online. I’m embracing it and grateful for it. It’s inspiring me and enlightening me and I never want to take it for granted.

Speaking of being enlightened, I am really having a moment with reading. I am happy to report that I’m making progress on my ridiculous goal of reading 24 books in 2024. I’m currently reading book #3: The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers. Wow. It is amazing that she wrote this when she was just 23. It’s like she must have been infused at birth with an old, wise soul to come up with such a rich story with fully drawn out characters.

These two fluffballs: our boy Radar and his little companion, Max, a pug/dachsund mix. We had Max overnight recently so my daughter and grandson could visit the kiddo’s other grandparents.

Naturally, Radar is chewing Max’s toy and Max is chewing Radar’s

Speaking of puppies, did you all catch the “Puppy Bowl” this past Sunday? Man, watching that brought me so much joy! Note to self: find it again and record it on your DVR for whenever you need a lift.

Another thing that has been giving me consistent lifts these days is streaming music on The Current. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this wonderful MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) station in previous blog posts, but either way, I am certain you will love it. They have great programs, like “United States of Americana” with Bill DeVille on Sunday mornings. They play a humongous and eclectic mix of music genres: folk, rock, hip-hop, blues, funk, and so much more, both old and brand spanking new stuff. Listening to this station on the regular keeps me, well, current.

I love comments on my blog posts too, folks! I would love to read about the things you are loving in the here and now. The things/people/places that are making your heart soar.

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!

Childhood, Creative Writing, Fun, Grandparenting

WordPress Prompt: What’s your favorite candy?

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Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite candy?
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What an un-serious, silly question. It’s today’s WordPress prompt and it’s weirdly perfect for my current mood.

And, well, I love candy. And Valentine’s Day is next week, for which Mr. None of the Above never fails to buy me a huge box of chocolates to express his devotion to me. Next week is also my grandson’s birthday. He loves candy too.

One of my favorite candies (like I can pick just one!) is the underappreciated Almond Joy bar. It’s a favorite of our grandson too, which surprises me, as kids are not supposed to like coconut, right?

My least favorite childhood nickname was “candy queen”. I think it came about when I was the youngest in a long line of cousins on my Mom’s side. In the summers, we’d often drive a few hours to spend time with her side of the family, where in the itsy-bitsy town they lived was a bar/candy store. Well, to me it really was a candy store (with all the candy housed in a glass case by the cash register). One of my older cousins would take me there, and I’d buy all the candy I could with whatever change I had been given by my Mom.

So, I feel pretty qualified to write about the topic of candy. I also have the dental work to show for it. At a recent dental exam, it was noted that I’ve “had a lot of work done” on my teeth. Let’s just say I spent an above-average amount of time at the dentist growing up. Thankfully, I also developed excellent dental hygiene habits as an adult so I’ve still got all my original teeth!

Back to the question at hand.

In no particular order, my favorite candies (besides Almond Joy) are:

  • Licorice: black or red only please. I prefer red, whether it’s Red Vines or Twizzlers
  • Peanut butter Snickers (an old boss of mine used to keep these on her desk during team meetings and I loved her for it)
  • Gummy bears (especially the yellow and orange ones)
  • Apple-flavored Jolly Ranchers
  • Peanut or Peanut Butter M ‘n M’s
  • Salt Water taffy
  • Those black and white (and pink?) licorice flavored taffies from way back in the olden days
  • Take 5 bars
  • Dark chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joe’s

There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ve forgotten some of my favorites, but right now…guess what?

I want candy!!!!

Blogging Community, Social Media, Words

New Words and Smart People

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One piece of advice I’ve heard numerous times over the years goes something like this: surround yourself with people smarter than you.

This is great advice, don’t you think? While it does require one to keep their ego in check, the rewards are great when you do it.

It applies not only in real life, where, arguably, oftentimes we don’t have full control of who we interact with day to day, but also in the virtual world (where, it could be argued, we do have full control of who we interact with).

A recent example can be found in a comment one of my fabulous blogger friends made on a recent post of mine. In response to a comment I made about exiting the “dead bird app” (thanks Valerie Bertinelli for that epic descriptor), my blogger friend said she’s still on the aforementioned app but is not “twitterpated” with it.

Now, “twitterpated” is not a word I’ve ever heard (and I would guess many of you have not either). My first thought was that she had made up this silly word. Or maybe it was a weird typo. I thought about it for a bit and figured that the “pated” portion of the word was like the word “sated”, as in being satisfied.

I looked at the comment again a few days later, and thought perhaps I ought to google the word, for shits and giggles, you know? Not at all expecting that it was indeed a “real” word.

Alas-twitterpated is a real word! Per dictionary.com it means “excited or overcome by romantic feelings; smitten”. Now, I think I can assume that my lovely blogger friend, Crystal btw, was not trying to say she was not overcome by romantic feelings about the dead bird app, because that would be a ridiculous thing to say. No app should compel romantic feelings, right? Well, maybe a dating app for those who are single I suppose.

She was saying she was not “smitten” with the app. Though “twitterpated” is a much more fun and unusual way to say that, without a doubt. I was not twitterpated with the dead bird app either, that’s why I dumped it.

This is all to say that I appreciate those who are smarter than I. There’s loads of people who are, of course. And there’s ways I might be a little smarter than others. We all have something to offer.

Surrounding ourselves as much as we possibly can, IRL and online, by folks who are smarter than us has the potential to teach us so much. And if we are lucky, their “smarts” might just rub off a little on us.