Tag Archives: GenX

Childhood, GenX, Mindset, Social Media

P is for Precious

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Several months ago, I read a blog post asking “What are you precious about?”

I think that’s a really great question. It’s one that I’ve been periodically chewing on all this time. What does it mean though, to be “precious” about something? From my perch, it means being firmly attached to something at the soul level. So attached that you would be hard-pressed to change your mind about it. So attached that you are unable to see how it may be problematic. How it may be clouding your vision or negatively impacting your interactions with others. Sort of like that proverbial hill you’d be willing to die on.

Maybe you’re precious about a belief or an opinion. Maybe it’s a relationship or an attitude.

My (perhaps unpopular) opinion is that my generation, Gen X (born between 1965 and 1981), is overly precious about their identity as kids who were brought up in the “glory” days of the 70’s and the 80’s.

What makes me say this is my participation (I use this term loosely, as I am more of a lurker there than an active contributor) in a Facebook group for Gen X’rs.

I do realize that this FB group I’m in is but a sampling of the Gen X community, but the attitude of some of these fellow Gen X’rs is really something. The cutting sarcasm, the “f your feelings”, the “ok, boomer” and “you must really be a millenial” comments abound in this group.

Now, I can be as sarcastic as the next guy, and believe me when I say that I’ve certainly rolled my eyes and slung snarky retorts as a result of my Gen-X influenced sense of humor…but man! Some of these Gen X r’s are on such high horses about how tough they are because they survived being latch-key kids who drank from garden hoses in their backyards. It’s like they have a chip on their shoulders, an armor they wear at all times. I think this hampers their ability to have compassion for others, especially those in different generations. I really think that’s a crying shame.

How I see it is that we all had absolutely no say whatsoever about the fact that we were born in whatever era we were born in. Being born between 1965 and 1981 didn’t give us superpowers. Being raised in the 70’s and 80’s didn’t either. Gen X is no more special than any other generation.

That’s not to say that being Gen X isn’t an important part of my identity. Of course it is. My sense of humor was shaped in my pre-teen and teenage years through consuming Saturday Night Life, Late Night with David Letterman, and SCTV. And I think that gave me a great sense of humor, thankyouverymuch. I and my fellow Gen X’rs benefited from being raised at a time when the American economy was good. We grew up before the rise of gun violence in this country. We were safe and secure from so much.

The best thing to me, however, about being a Gen X’r is how much freedom we had as kids. We were not over-scheduled. We were left to our own devices to a large extent. I think this has resulted in my generation being creative, independent, and self-sufficient. Scrappy and resourceful.

If my generation could just take their cynicism down a notch or two by recognizing how precious they are about their Gen X identity, that’d be great.

Now, for a quintessential 80’s tune that to me is the rallying cry of Gen X. Check it out-it’s RAD!

Aging, Gratitude, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Wisdom, Work, Youth

Ageism and Me: Growing through Discomfort

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In a work setting, have you ever had to participate in an exercise, individually, then gather as a group later to discuss the experience?

I have. It made me super uncomfortable. Which I suppose is the point of these kinds of things.

It happened when I was working for a non-profit that served senior citizens, which is the population the agency I now work for serves.

The exercise was about uncovering our unconscious bias. Individually, we were directed to view images of different sorts of people. Hispanic, Black, Young, Male, Old, Asian, White, Female, etc. You get the gist. We were to, without thinking, select which of two images before us that we preferred (to work with). To just go with our instincts, suspending self-judgement.

A tall order.

The most disturbing result, for me, was that my preference skewed towards young people. I was working at a place that served old people, folks. It made me question everything. Am I an ageist? Am I not supposed to be serving senior citizens because of my unconscious bias? Should I switch paths and become a teacher, like my Dad always thought I should?

I was beside myself for a bit.

But, that was then and this is now. In the ensuing years, my perspective on aging and relating with older people has evolved. I’ve certainly moved past feeling terrible about this revelation.

It’s true that I love interacting with young people. I’ve got a grandson who just turned 10 and I embrace being his grandma. I find him, as well as plenty of other people younger than me, inspiring. Being in the company of youngins invigorates me. It often gives me hope for our collective future as a species.

It’s also true that there are plenty of people older, in some cases, quite a bit older than I, who I greatly enjoy being around. Those elders I find interesting, wise, and inspiring. Not only do I have the great fortune of having a pair of second parents (Mr. NOA’s mom and dad) in my life, but I also get opportunities to interact with other senior citizens in my work life (clients and volunteers) regularly.

These people model for me generosity of spirit. Generosity of wisdom. Generosity of their time and their money. I wholeheartedly respect and appreciate them for that.

And, it’s not lost on me that I am a Gen X’r (who is actively pondering what that even means to me personally) who is a senior citizen herself. I mean, most senior discounts are given once you turn 55…and I’m 2 years beyond that now.

I guess my point is this (and yes, this makes me sound like the seasoned crone I am): age, smage. I’m more interested in other characteristics of those I work and spend time with, such as their senses of humor, their talents and skills, and their outlooks on life.

As a nation and a world, we are living in interesting times. We all have our unconscious biases, whether we participate in exercises that reveal them or not. Ageism is but one “ism” that we ought to be honestly and openly discussing, don’t you think?

Celebrate, Entertainment, Fun, Humor, Love, Romance, Television

Love, American Style

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Are you singing that song in your head, folks?

You, fellow Gen X and up Americans, most likely know what song I’m referring to. It’s the one from that goofy t.v. show of the same title from the 1970’s. I think it might be the first tune that my brain latched onto as a youth.

For those not in the know, here it is:

Clearly, this is a post about love. It’s Valentine’s Day and yesterday was Galentine’s Day, my lovely readers!

I just had to give a shout out to a character I loved so much from one of the best American sitcoms ever: that waffle loving gal Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation, played by the wonderful Amy Poehler.

Image courtesy of https://merakimusings.org/galentines-day/

Speaking of Parks and Recreation, Hubs and I recently began watching “The Last of Us” on HBO Max. And, to our surprise, Ron Swanson showed up.

Of course, the actor, Nick Offerman was not in character as Ron Swanson here. That would be weird. He was instead playing a character living in isolation after the world went to complete crap due to a fungal catastrophe that killed the majority of humans and turned them into zombies.

His character, Bill, encountered another man, Frank, who was seeking shelter. Bill opened up his home to Frank and they fell in love.

I applaud the writers and creators of this show for giving us a tender and honest story that reflects the vulnerability of falling in love. As a LGBTQ+ ally, I appreciate that they chose to validate and lift up same-sex love and romance in the way they did. This episode brought me to tears and I believe Nick Offerman deserves all of the awards that exist for sharing this character and his story with the world.

As Bill, Nick Offerman performed a song (originally sung by the songbird Linda Ronstadt), in such a beautifully vulnerable manner in this episode. It really touched my heart, and I can’t imagine it not touching yours. Here it is, courtesy of YouTube:

This gives me chills

Any of you who haven’t yet seen “The Last of Us” ought to really get on with it. It is just so well done.

Since I’m going on here about love-worthy American t.v. shows; I’ve gotta tell you I love the new show on Peacock, “Poker Face”. It stars the one and only Natasha Lyonne (who, incidentally, worked with Amy Poehler from the aforementioned Parks and Recreation to create Russian Doll on Netflix), and it’s a winner. One of the many cool things about this show, beyond Natasha’s portrayal of the character Charlie, is how the producers put in little bits of nostalgia for those old mystery shows that some of us watched back in the 70’s. Like good old “Kojak” and “Murder She Wrote”.

For instance, the font used in the credits. The titles of episodes (like “Exit Stage Death” which featured Ellen Barkin and Tim Meadows at their ridiculous best). The way how, at the end of each episode, Charlie presents her thought process on what really happened (i.e., who, how, and why the person was murdered). It’s so refreshing to see a t.v. show that is about murder yet not overtly violent. In one episode, Charlie made a reference to “Felix Unger” from the “Odd Couple”, which I thought was particularly clever.

I believe that American t.v. is very good at the moment and I am loving it.

How about you?

I hope your Valentine’s Day is full of sweet, funny, and lovely moments, whether you watch some good old (or new) American t.v. or not. And plenty of chocolate of course!

Image courtesy of https://tokyotreat.com/blog/valentines-day-candy-the-best-straight-from-tokyo

Alphabet Soup Challenge, Entertainment, Humor, Music, Rock and Roll, Television

Alphabet Soup Challenge: X Factor Classic Rock From a Gen X Perspective

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I think of the term “X Factor” as being the “special sauce”. An indescribable quality in something or someone that you can’t quite put your finger on. Something or someone that is original and delightful. Something or someone who is memorable to you. Something or someone who is super freaking cool.

Last week I was listening to one of my favorite channels on Sirius XM, Classic Rewind, when DJ Kristine Stone announced in her smooth-as-silk voice the “My Perfect 10” challenge. She explained that subscribers were invited to email them their “perfect 10” tunes from the classic rock “cassette era”.

Side note: do you remember those? Those pieces of cheap plastic you could pop into that old cassette player to listen to your favorite tunes? Or maybe you were like me as a Gen X’r who would put a blank cassette in, position it next to your boom box, and tape your favorite songs that played between all those commercials on your local (it was all local in those days, kids) rock station.

Anyway, the idea with Classic Rewind’s “Perfect 10” challenge is that provided you emailed your list to them, you could potentially hear your specially crafted “perfect 10” tunes on the channel on, you guessed it, 10/10.

My first thought upon hearing this was that this was an idea I can get behind. Listening to rock songs during the cassette era (mid-70’s through the 80’s) was what led me to become such an enthusiastic rock and roll fan.

What qualifies these songs as having the “X-Factor” for me is that for every single one of them, I pause my thoughts, crank up the radio and sing along. Until the bitter end. I marinate in these songs. Feel their beats pulsing through my veins. Jam out in my truck to them. Dance around my living room to them.

So here’s my “Perfect 10 X -Factor” classic rock song list:

  1. The Load Out/Stay by Jackson Browne
  2. Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad by Meatloaf
  3. You’re my Best Friend by Queen
  4. Turn the Page by Bob Seger
  5. Young Americans by David Bowie
  6. Life’s Been Good by Joe Walsh
  7. All My Love by Led Zeppelin
  8. Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty
  9. Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings
  10. Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas.

I realize that despite being a teenager in the 80’s, all but one of these songs (Free Fallin’) was produced in the 70’s. I suspect that’s on account of being a Gen X’r who adored her older brother and sister (one graduated high school in ’75 and the other in ’77) and their taste in the music of the day. Perhaps I would have been better off compiling a “Perfect 10 X Factor” list of songs from the Classic Vinyl (another one of my favorite Sirius XM channels)?

But I’ve always been one who tries to stay in the current. I am a big fan of newer and younger musical artists, ones who have put out music during my adult life. Like Jack White.

I think he is absolutely amazing. He commands the stage. He is such a gifted guitar player and performer. As an appreciator of well done rock and roll and cool characters, allow me to share the epic performances by this cool cat, performed last Saturday night on SNL:

https://youtu.be/pH-iOaWuC_s
https://youtu.be/bhN4M4aS50U?t=11

So, what musical artists and/or songs possess that “X Factor” according to you?

***Header image courtesy of https://www.quotemaster.org/Rock+And+Roll

Bullying, Grief, Humor, Music, Names, Sisterhood

My First Post about Names

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Perhaps weirdly, I have a lot to say about names. See above title. I’m certain this will not be a one-off topic for me on this blog.

Think I’ll start with the obvious. My name: Rhonda. My mom told me she named me after a movie star named Rhonda Fleming. I don’t know much about her beyond that she had red hair. Hold on a sec…

Image result for image for actress rhonda fleming
Rhonda Fleming-ain’t she a beaut? Geez, I hope all that straw didn’t end up in her nether regions!

Of course there’s that dumb Beach Boys song, you know the one, which about 60% of the people that meet me for the first time feel compelled to sing to me (like the guy checking us out at PetSmart yesterday).  One of our neighbors is also a Rhonda and she actually has this song as her ring tone on her cell phone. Having the name Rhonda, while I’m  pretty neutral about how I feel about it now at 52, kind of sucked growing up.

There were 4 other Rhonda’s between my class and the class ahead of me. In a school system that had a mere 500 (give or take) students in total. Similar to that dumbass show “The Bachelor”, there was a Rhonda D., a Rhonda T., two Rhonda S’s., and a Rhonda K (that would be me). I never figured what that was all about, all these moms sipping their Tabs and playing Bridge in the late 60’s being all un-original about naming their babies. The worst though was the nickname bestowed upon me by a tall, gangly, obnoxious kid named “Todd”. He greatly enjoyed calling me “Rhon-duh”, emphasis on the “Duh” as in “Duh-brain” (a clever off-shoot of “Rhon-duh”).

Here’s some more names I have important commentary on:

Joan. One Joan I know is my daughter’s soon to be ex MIL. I had an issue with her from the day I met her. In front of me and Hubs, she presented my daughter with a “special” necklace with the word “daughter” engraved on it. Made my blood boil. In retrospect, I think it was her way of softening my daughter to her, as that was the fateful night we nor only first met but also starting planning the wedding between our daughter and her son (there is a story to be told of that night for sure).

Then there’s another Joan, one of my mom’s old Bridge pals from back in the day. After my mom passed away in February, my sister and I split the sympathy cards up so that sending the thank you’s wouldn’t be on just one of us. We are fair with each other like that (side note: I freaking love my sister! She’s coming to visit us this week. Yay!).

So anyway, I found Joan’s card. No address. This frustrated me no end while I was trying to get this task completed (she wasn’t the only one who failed to furnish their address). So I decided to go ahead and find her address online. I thought that would be easy peasy.  Simple. Efficient. It wasn’t. I checked with two different websites that said they didn’t charge (yeah, right, sucker!) and of course was simply told that she was “found”. But no specific address was made available to me, just the city and state where she lived (like hello! I knew that already, people!).  I gave up and later ended up finding it another way (she owns a business-forgot about that!) online. Ever since, every single fucking time I open up my Chromebook, I get these pop ups with lines like “are you still searching for Joan”? One even, I swear to God, included a little picture of Momo (you know, that urban legend/internet hoax that really really dumb middle schoolers have apparently bought into). I guess they thought they could scare me into paying them to dig up Joan’s address for me after all this time I’d been searching?

 

Image result for momo
I present to you, Momo

In a previous post,  I mentioned how my mom used to love to sing to me all the time when I was little, despite not really being able to carry a tune. I have fuzzy memories of her when I was probably 4 or 5, when I would beg her to sing me “name” songs. They ran the gamut between “Julie do ya love me?”, to “I’ve been working on the railroad” (Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow your horn was the chorus), to “Laurie (strange things happen)”.

Let me leave you with my personal favorite “name” song, with the extra special bonus of interpretive dance. Enjoy!