Tag Archives: BreneBrown

Celebrate, Creative Writing, Gratitude, Holidays, Humor, Lifestyle, Pets, Simplicity, Thanksgiving

Grateful State of Mind

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The Thanksgiving holiday is upon us! In honor of that, I’d like to take a moment today to talk about gratitude.

I recently found myself reading Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection”. In it, she talks quite a bit about gratitude. She found in her research, which largely consisted of one-on-one interviews with people who practice “wholehearted living”, that practicing gratitude was a major component of these peoples’ lives.

This made me remember that many years ago, I bought myself this little book by Sarah Ban Breathnach titled “The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude”. It’s a journal to capture what you are grateful for each day for one year. I missed days or even a week or two here and there, but for the most part I wrote down my gratitudes daily. I still have this journal, and I’ve been reading through it.

Reading my entries reminded me of the sweet and simpler times when our kids were young. I recorded such gratitudes as having a nice, long phone conversation with my mother-in-law, having our checkbook balanced correctly, having Mr. NOA come home earlier than expected from work, and the simple joy of watching our oldest chasing a butterfly.

One of many lines from “The Gifts of Imperfection” that ring true to me as I ponder what I’m grateful for right now is “it seems that gratitude without practice may be a little like faith without works-it’s not alive”.

Makes me think I ought to start a new gratitude journal right away.

So, here I go with a few of the things I am truly grateful for these days:

It goes without saying that what I’m the most grateful for is my friends and family and the strong bonds we share.

Yet, there’s lots of simple things I am grateful for too.

Like:

Having an array of sweatshirts, comfy pants, and fuzzy socks to wear when I’m chilly.

Working appliances. I can bake a cake if I want to. I’m able to do my laundry without having to drive to a laundromat, rolls of quarters weighing down my purse.

Having a job that allows me to help my fellow community members in a concrete way.

Dogs I love who do silly things like run in small circles and bounce up and down with happiness. At the moment, we are dog-sitting for our daughter and her fiance (did I tell you they got engaged over the summer? Yet another gratitude).

Our Radar and his friends Dash and Max (aka Radar-ling, Dash-ing Ding-Dong, and Sir Maxwell Butterball)

The music of Brandi Carlile. She is often my go-to when I’m putzing around the house or making supper. The woman can sing anything.

The teachings of Brene Brown. As a former social worker (still one at heart, for sure) and a writer, I appreciate her wisdom so much.

Family movie dates. We caught the movie “Twisters” in the theater together last summer. Next up is going to be “Wicked” next month.

Words. The ones that are strung together in the form of song lyrics. The ones I read before I go to sleep at night. The ones that come out of the mouths of the people I love. The ones I use to express myself in writing.

Laughter-or more specifically, the things that get me laughing. I get one of the local papers delivered weekly, and something in last week’s edition had me and Mr. NOA cracking up. The following question was asked of the kindergartners at the elementary school: How do you cook a turkey? A few of their responses:

From a kiddo named Emmett: I will go in the forest and shoot a turkey. I will find him on a tree. Before I cook the turkey I need to get the meat out by cutting his skin off. Cook the turkey at 40 degrees for 40 hours. The turkey is done by checking the grill. When it’s beeping I take the turkey out. I will eat hot sauce with my turkey. For dessert I will eat Halloween cupcakes.

From a kindergartner named Cheyenne: Go fishing for a turkey. Put it in the oven when its like super hot, or just a little bit hot. Just for 5 minutes. Actually just 2. Put gloves on and grab it out of the oven when it’s done.

And from a tyke named Jasper: You got to get a turkey from the garden shed. Then cook it with the oven for 30 hours. You can have squash and mashed potatoes with your turkey. You eat it with a spoon and a fork. For dessert, I would eat Gushers.

Let’s all be grateful that these kindergartners aren’t in charge of our Thanksgiving dinners, right? We’d end up with our houses burnt down or salmonella poisoning if that were the case!

I hope you, my readers, will take a moment to ponder what you’re grateful for right now. Sharing in the comments would be appreciated too, as always.

Blogging, Books, Christmas, Humor, Lifestyle, Psychology, Wisdom

Christmas 2023 and Stealth Expectations

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Unsurprisingly, I still have Christmas on the brain.

And today I’m going to spit it all out for your reading pleasure. And it’s Tuesday, I’m off work, and the most important (in my mind) of the holiday-related tasks have been completed for me and mine.

Also, I don’t like feeling like I’ve over-promised and under-delivered to you, my kind-hearted readers, as it’s been about two weeks since I told you that I was going to publish more posts than usual on account of my festive-ness.

Ha! I crack myself up sometimes.

If you have someone you still need to buy a Christmas present for I have a solid recommendation. And since you’ve only 5-6 days in which to make this brilliant purchase, that means you’ll need to get yourself out of the house and shop local (small business local, not your local Wal-Mart. I say this because I personally could not find this particular item when I was there recently).

No time left to order it on Amazon, folks!

Before I reveal my last-minute-perfect-Christmas-present-that-you’ll- get-at-your-local-independent b8#$store, after stopping at your favorite cafe or bistro for a scone or piping hot coffee, let me say this one little thing about this item: it’s a book.

It’s a book in which, on page 43, the author writes about how disappointment, per research, is one of the most frequently experienced emotions, and one that is experienced at a high level of intensity. She goes on to talk about “stealth expectations”: meaning those ideas that come into our heads that we let play out like a mini-movie, which we often foolishly keep secret from everyone around us.

Stealth expectations. Something I’ve often had but never had a term for. It was mind-blowing for me to re-read this section of this book one late night earlier this month. It completely reflects how I’ve been going about life, in particular the holiday season, year after year.

That’s why I’m going to let (Christmas related) things be. If I don’t get around to making those pretzel rods dipped in chocolate, re-purposing those old Christmas cards into works of art with my 9 year old grandson while we sing Christmas Carols and eat cookie dough, if I don’t find the right Christmas-y cocktail to make for our guests…it’s all good.

Now, if I can carry this warning about “stealth expectations” into how I operate into the new year, I think I just might continue to be able to say “it’s all good”.

Ok, now for my perfect Christmas present for any adults still on your list:

“Atlas of the Heart” by Brene Brown. It will teach your recipient so much. That’s a Christmas promise from me to you!

Now, for a little collage of my Christmas decor (the most fun personal holiday task for me) for your viewing pleasure.

Merriest of Holiday Wishes to you and yours this season!

Anxiety, Blogging, Clarity, Honesty, Life, Time Management

A is for Accountability

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After much deliberation, I have decided not to participate in this year’s April A-Z blogging challenge.

How about the rest of you, my blogger friends? Are you participating?

I realize I may regret it, especially once I start reading all the creative posts from others that come out of it.

But the thing is, I cannot commit. I’m seeing that right now, getting stuff done has got to be a bigger priority than a fun blogging challenge.

I just am not in a position to give it my all. And I’ve got shit to do.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t play around a bit with the alphabet, following my creative whims.

That is why you are reading this post from me today about accountability.

It’s a big, important word, right?

It’s so satisfying to see others who have done wrong being held accountable for their dirty deeds, isn’t it? Like what is just now beginning to happen to our former president.

In “Atlas of the Heart”, Brene Brown describes that feeling of satisfaction when someone gets what’s coming to them, as “schadenfreude”. It’s defined by her as “pleasure of joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”.

It’s not necessarily satisfying though to hold ourselves accountable, or God Forbid, to be held accountable in other people’s view. It’s hard. It’s fucking uncomfortable. You might worry that you are over-promising (which I would have been doing if I declared I was participating in the A to Z challenge). You might struggle with determining what it is exactly that you personally need to be accountable for. You might be overwhelmed by it. You may let yourself and others down in the process.

Like I said, it’s a big word. Maybe I should have gone with my second choice: “A is for Asinine”. That certainly would have been easier.

I think the word “accountability” goes hand in hand with the word “character”. It’s all about holding ourselves as well as others to a certain standard of decency. It means holding others responsible for ethical missteps, and holding ourselves personally responsible for ours.

One thing that I am currently holding myself accountable for is my garage sale project. Thankfully, I got myself some reinforcements with this (reinforcements would certainly be my “R is for” post if I did the challenge this year) project. I learned last weekend that my next door neighbor just retired. And she’s eager to find things to do with her time, even asking me if it’s “ok” if she helps with it.

So, “doing” is the bigger priority for me now.

Excuse me while I take the rest of the day to resume my journey of going through more of my worldly possessions to determine what’s going up for sale next month.

I’ll be back in this space next week.

Anxiety, Blogging, Emotions, Hope, Life, Mental Health, Moods, Self-Reflection, Time

On Being a WIP and Melancholy

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You know, sometimes I feel like I could lose my mind. There’s just so much going on in this head of mine. I can sense the tears but they rarely come out.

Whew.

I don’t think I’m depressed per se. I’m just mixed up. Feeling like I’m wandering and unable to sort out where I’m going. Very much like I’m caught up in the space I’m in, yet certain that there’s something new on the horizon waiting for me to jump into it.

I think there’s something to a new concept I read about this morning online: purpose anxiety. Or maybe it’s a diagnosis. I think I have it. I think this “gap year” I’m in is similar to the other one that I had in that I get to a point where I’ve got too much time on my hands. Yet I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything of value. Like I ought to be using my time more wisely.

Meloncholy resonates with me today. I googled the word to gain a better understanding of it’s meaning and came upon this definition by Emily Brady at the University of Michigan (link here)”melancholy is something we desire from time to time, for it provides an opportunity for indulgent self-reflection. We enjoy this time out for reflection, but the pleasure is also connected to recollecting that which we long for, which this reflective element can be even exhilirating or uplifting.”

It’s also full on winter here in Minnesconsin, which is something I haven’t experienced in the last 7 years. There’s snow everywhere you look and it’s so cold out there. It pushes me to hibernate.

Some of the parts about hibernating I actually like. Such as watching t.v. on my couch, especially if Radar chooses to be my cuddle buddy. Reading; though most of the reading I do these days is other people’s blog posts or NPR. I’ve been re-reading “Atlas of the Heart”, by Brene Brown, which I need to get back to as it’s been a few days. It’s such an important book to me. One I treasure. One of the few books I’ve read that has actually altered my perspective and, I think, improved the way I relate to others. It’s a keeper.

Yes, I recently published a blog post in which I listed all of the things I do just for fun. That feels a little ironic to me as I pour myself out here and now. Yet I stand by that post. I am of the mind that having fun, along with having something to look forward to, is very underrated in American culture.

That said, and I say this with the intention of pushing myself forward, I’m going to take the time to lay out some things I can do, actions I can take to just get on with it. To push through this little slump I’m in. I know it’s temporary.

I’m a WIP (Work in Progress), you’re a WIP, we’re all WIPs, right?

Progress, not perfection.

***Header image courtesy of https://lifeism.co/aesthetic-quotes-that-will-center-you-for-the-day