Tag Archives: Motherhood

I Used To Do This Thing

Specifically, on this blog. When it was younger.

It was a personal life update sorta deal that I would do periodically. I leaned in on words like “current” (which is a state I prefer to live in and write about) and “rocking” or “rolling”.

Anyway, for today, I’m going to just revive that if you please.

Thanks to the support of Mr. NOA, my sister, and my daughter’s “bonus moms”, our daughter and future son-in-law’s baby shower went off without a hitch. We had plenty of room in our shed (which I’m now and forever referring to as the “we shed“) to hold the approximately 30 people that came to celebrate the imminent birth of baby Levi.

The food was a hit and there was plenty of it. It warmed my heart to see our daughter’s friends show up to support her. She and her fiance now have virtually everything they need to welcome baby Levi home this summer.

And the best part?

Just look at those happy faces!

How was everyone’s Memorial Day weekend?

Did you do anything fun?

Did you spend it with people you love? Did you go anywhere new?

Yesterday was our 35th wedding anniversary. Not that we didn’t feel this warranted a big, splashy celebration, but we chose to stay home together and have a simple weekend. As today is my regular day off from work, and yesterday was a paid holiday for us, we’re on day 4 of this little “staycation” here in Minnesconsin.

It’s been sweet.

The kids all came over yesterday afternoon and we had a little picnic lunch and a ride on the pontoon. Mr. NOA wore his “Call Me Captoon” t-shirt for the event, which I loved. Our 11-year-old grandson caught a fish (not quite a keeper, unlike this kid) using a bit from the cherries I had packed in one of the coolers.

Mr. NOA and I, earlier in the weekend, drove over to one of our favorite stores for supplies we needed to start giving our yard and gardens some love. If you’re from the Upper Midwest like we are, you’ll know the name of the place by these words “Save Big Money at….”.

As the two of us are on a mission this summer to intentionally invest in and nurture the land we live on, we bought rose bushes, multiple bags of mulch, landscaping cloth, and blueberry bushes. Thankfully, we’ll get an 11% rebate! #iykyk.

Then we got to work.

Rose bushes were planted on either side of the garage door. Grass seed was sprinkled on some bare patches in the yard. Landscaping cloth was laid down, with mulch placed on top and then evened out. Blueberry bushes were planted in a special spot where I can see them from my kitchen window (a feature my dear father-in-law wisely noted three years ago, when we were house-hunting here in Minnesconsin, that I would personally most appreciate in any house we bought ).

So, as cheesy as it may sound, today I say “Life is Good”.

And because online this morning I read a beautifully written, heartfelt story written by the artist Michael Franti. It was about his two moms, who both recently passed away, just 6 weeks apart from each other. One was his adoptive mom, and the other, his birth mom. I’m going to share a song from him because I love his music.

This song, in particular, feels to me like a great choice for ushering in summer.

Grandma is in Planning Mode

I recently caught myself adding “make to-do lists” for various events coming up in my life on my semi-regular weekly “to-do” list.

Yes, I am neurotic. And/or ADHD.

Let’s just say I am in full-on planning mode right now, friends. I am a bit out of practice in this arena, as the last gathering I executed with more than 8 invitees was almost 10 years ago.

The nearest of these happenings is the baby shower I’m planning for my beautiful daughter, who just arrived at the third trimester of her second pregnancy. This is coming up in less than 2 weeks.

Yikes!

I’ve got games lined up. What’s a baby shower without a few goofy games, right? One of the games is an A-Z challenge where people are given a set amount of time to write down baby names. Whoever gets the most wins a prize.

Silly yet serious question: do I play a song-maybe one with the word baby in the title, or use one of the plastic hourglass timers from one of the many board games we rarely play, while folks are rapidly trying to capture every baby name they can think of on paper? I want to make sure everyone has enough, but not too much, time for this challenge.

Here’s another one: do I fulfill my hosting daydreams by baking various sweet treats to display on the beautiful tiered treat stand thing that I’m on a mission to buy this weekend? In addition to the cake I ordered yesterday from the grocery store bakery, because like those aforementioned goofy games, what’s a baby shower without a cake?

These are but a few of the thoughts that are plaguing my brain these days.

These two kids of ours-our daughter and her fiance-have not yet determined baby’s name. There have been a few (which I won’t share because one of them I really love and secretly hope they choose and I don’t want to jinx it) they have talked about, but at this point they think they’ll know baby’s name when they see his face.

Plot twist!

I wrote the above paragraph earlier in the week…and guess what? Our daughter texted me yesterday to say they have landed on a name. It is the one I favored! His name will be Levi.

From parents.com: The name Levi has become a favorite amongst new parents for being both traditional and trendy. It means “united,” “joined,” or, sometimes, “joined in harmony.”

To think that 11 years ago, I was beside myself with angst about becoming a first-time grandma at the oh-so-young age of 47!

I’ve looped in our daughter’s fiance’s mom and step-mom to help with executing this affair. I find it slightly awkward texting back and forth with them, as I’ve only met them in person a handful of times since our kids got together almost 3 years ago. But I am looking forward to interacting with my future son-in-law’s large family as time goes on. This baby shower is going to usher in the joining of our families.

Isn’t it just an amazing and beautiful thing how families evolve over time?

Enjoy this cover of a sweet song I love to sing to babies!

Respite Sunday

Happy Sunday (or Saturday or Monday, if you live outside the U.S.)!

I’ve decided just for today I’m taking a break (aka respite) from my Alphabet Soup Challenge.

I wanted to pause for a beat to tell you all that I may skip publishing a time or two in the next couple of weeks, because Eldest and our grandson are coming to visit soon. For a whole week! This is the longest period of time they will have ever been here for. Eldest was furloughed from her job until at least the end of this month due to the slow down in business for her employer thanks to Covid-19.

Despite the fact that our grandson just started 1st grade a few weeks ago (in person) it seemed like the perfect moment to have the two of them come for a visit. This is going to be so much better than when they typically come to see us, in November or May, when the temps are not as pleasant as they are in the beautiful month of September.

So instead of finishing a publishing whatever the next post will be in my “Alphabet Soup Challenge” today, I’m going to give the house a good cleaning, dust off the old Fall/Halloween decor (and set up the new stuff I got yesterday) and decorate the house so it’s all comfy, cozy, and clean for my beloveds.

Please click on the link below to enjoy one of my favorite dancing tunes!

****Header image courtesy of https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/home-is-where-the-heart-is.html

Alphabet Soup Challenge: N is for Names

27 years ago, I gave birth to my second child. Hubs and I named “her” Marissa. A lovely name for a lively child.

Approximately 7 years ago, “Marissa”, who had by then come out as queer and non-binary (the queer part was easier to get my head around at first than the non-binary part) announced that they would now be referred to as “Rabbie”.

Say what?! I thought to myself. Why? What’s wrong with “Marissa”? It’s a damn beautiful name, right people?

I told Bonnie over the phone. She “misheard” me and said “Rabbit?” I laughed nervously and told her to think of it as a nickname. I reminded her that Rabbie was romantically attracted to both genders and this was one expression of that (though now I realize it’s much more nuanced). She responded by saying she was going to be praying that “Marissa” found herself a nice boy to fall in love with and marry someday.

My mom never did “get” it. I never held it against her however. Fact of the matter is, I wasn’t necessarily “getting it” back then either.

Hubs and I struggled with this for a good long while. I was offended that the kid was rejecting the name we lovingly chose for them. I felt anxious about how to explain it to others. So many times when talking about how our kids were doing to friends and acquaintances, I found myself referring to “Marissa” as “Rabbie” and got the most confused looks in exchange.

Recent pic of my “Rabs”

But time is an interesting thing. The more I referred to her them as “Rabbie” the more natural it seemed to come to me. The less I felt the need to explain it to myself or others. I even shortened it to “Rabs” when I was speaking to them directly.

I realized over time is that it’s not about me. It’s about the kid not feeling “girly” inside. It’s about them not embracing traditional Americanized gender roles. It’s about the kid expressing their true selves and asserting their independence. It’s about the kid asserting their right to be seen as who they really are, not someone who we as their parents and society at large thinks they should be.

***Header image courtesy of https://locallove.ca/issues/your-guide-to-non-binary-pronouns/#.X1UnmN7YqWw