All posts by Rhonda

I'm a 57 year old lover of life, family, friends, and creative writing (amongst numerous other activities, people, animals, big ideas, and things). I am a native Minnesotan now living in my happy place of "Minnesconsin". I was a case manager/social worker for many years in Wisconsin and am now ready for my new chapter in life as a writer. I enjoy writing about my day to day (mis)adventures, the people I love and those that inspire me, places I've traveled to, music that makes my world go 'round, politics and current affairs, and general observations and ideas about life and ideas on how it could be improved. My hope is that my blog will be interactive and uplifting.
Gender, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Names, Planning

Name Games

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I recently had a conversation with someone about baby names. She theorized that everyone has a name they detest, based on it being the name of someone they dislike. I had to agree with her, as the instant she shared this theory, the name and image belonging to that name popped into my head.

What do you think?

When you consider this theory, does your mind’s eye come up with an image of someone in particular?

Or, conversely, when you think of a name that you absolutely love, does it conjure up an image of someone you admire?

Now, the reason we were discussing names in the first place is on account of the fact that our daughter is having a baby this summer. She and her fiance recently found out she’s having a boy. This will be our third grandchild (counting our soon-to-be son-in-law’s 5-year-old)

I’m so pleased that they have learned the baby’s gender, because that means there will not be a “gender reveal” party. I absolutely despise those. They are so stupid. I just don’t think gender matters so much. I mean, can’t we all just be happy that a new life is coming into the world?

The kids have been coming up with names now and it sounds like they are going to incorporate Mr. NOA’s middle name into it. I think that’s pretty sweet.

I wonder when this baby starts talking if he’ll call me “Grammy”. I had high hopes that our first grandson would call me that, but despite my best efforts, it never caught on. I recently saw an episode of my current favorite sitcom, “Abbott Elementary”, and one of the characters, upon learning she was going to become a grandma for the first time, christened herself “Glamma”. A person I know IRL who is about to become a grandma for the first time recently sported a sweater emblazoned with the name “Gigi” on it. I feel like “Grammy” suits me better though.

I need to get my butt in gear and plan a baby shower now. We have settled on a date for this gathering, which will be before baby is born (4th of July is the due date). It’s been a minute since I’ve planned a big-ish party, so wish me luck!

And I leave you with one of my very favorite name songs. I hope you enjoy!

Creative Writing, Education, Positivity, Sharing, Social Media

Did You Know?

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It occurred to me recently that a lot of us on social media tend to rage about those things in society which we are against. It is good and right, in my view, to express our righteous indignation about those things that don’t square with our values and harm people. I would never suggest in a million years that any of us ought to stay quiet and comply in the face of injustice.

Yet don’t you agree there is value in expressing that with which we are in favor of? The things we are “pro” instead of “con”?

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of something I am “pro” is education.

I don’t think I need to go into great detail here as to why that is, especially given the fact that I’ve got smart readers who no doubt consider themselves to be pro-education. I will say that critical thinking is something I value deeply and education is the key.

Now comes the part where I answer the question posed in the title of this little blog post.

You can take classes online at Harvard for free!

I learned this from someone I recently met. As a person who knows for certain that if I won the lottery, I’d waste no time applying to colleges to get my MFA (or maybe my MBA. Or a Master’s in Sociology or Psychology), this really intrigued me. I love learning. Always have, and always will.

Naturally, I had to check it out. There is quite the bevy of classes available, which was a sweet little surprise. I haven’t made the time to actually attempt to register myself for any of these free classes so I can’t vouch for what the process would be. There weren’t any classes available that really jumped out at me but it’s sure nice to know that this is a potential option. Though one I saw about omens, oracles, and prophecies sounds interesting.

Now, it wouldn’t be as much fun, perhaps, as I can imagine it was for a former client of mine from back when I was a social worker, who regularly “audited” college classes at the local university. He’d mosey over to the nearby state university and sit amongst the enrolled students (though in retrospect he may have been creeping on them) and listen to the professor’s lectures. No need to take notes or run to the campus library or the local coffee shop to do actual homework. I wish I could recall what classes he audited.

Please share in the comments if you have taken any of these free online classes via Harvard, or, if you happen to take a minute to peruse the offerings, which class or classes you’d be liable to take.

As always, I shall end this post with a song. It’s a favorite of mine from Steely Dan. You might want to get your dancing shoes on for this one!

Blogging, Blogging Community, Gratitude, Intentionality, Joy, Positivity, Self-Reflection, SNL fans, Valentine's Day

Blogaversary Number 8

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Saturday, February 8th, 2025 was a snow day for us here in Minnesconsin. We adjusted our plans and hunkered down inside.

As I was sitting at my dining room table, peering out at the snow falling down outside my window, I saw a WordPress notification congratulating me on 8 years of blogging.

With 8 being my guiding number, I can’t pass up the opportunity to share my thoughts about this blog-aversary.

First off, I’m in a different place than I was 8 years ago, physically and mentally. At that time, I was living a more free-wheeling life in Colorado with Mr. NOA. My responsibilities at the time were minimal and I had oodles of free time. Just for fun I decided to start this blog. My aim was to put myself out there and see if I could find like-minded souls who appreciated my ramblings.

Fortunately, I did. And I appreciate every one of you. And I miss the ones who wrote some of the funniest, righteous, and heartfelt writing I’ve ever read. The ones who, in some cases, for no known reason, stopped blogging (on WordPress anyway).

I wrote a lot of sub-par posts. I didn’t have any grand plan when I first started out. I still don’t.

I wrote about wins and losses. I wrote about what I think about the state of the world and the state of my life. I wrote about vacations I took and books I read. I wrote about interactions I had and my dreams for the future.

I shared in this space stories of my personal failures and misadventures and my passion for music and comedy. I wrote about work and I wrote about my friends and family.

I feel good about the fact that I’ve stuck with it.

But I don’t want to keep waxing nostalgic about this milestone today. That’s because I’m grounded in the present and, frankly, I’m boring myself. It only stands to reason that I’m probably boring you right now as well.

So here I go, switching gears.

*Cue the sound of a record being scratched*

8 Good Things To Share

Disclaimer before I proceed: I am in no way forgetting the fact that America is essentially on fire and the American people are suffering and by God I will do whatever it is I can to minimize the damage. But, on this day, I’m leaning into my Pollyanna-ish inclinations.

  1. My work hours have increased. Meaning instead of working M-W-F at my lovely local non-profit, I’m working M-W-Th-F. Tuesdays are all mine! She says greedily. The reality of working more hours, however, is that I’ve inadvertently challenged myself to ramp up the focus on that one little word I declared allegiance to when I was feeling slightly shinier about 2025. That would be “intentionality”. As in, how am I choosing to spend my downtime? Which gets to the heart of the word itself. Note to self: say a prayer of gratitude for the luxury of having downtime to begin with. You’re a lucky broad.

2. SNL 50 Homecoming Concert: the music, the laughs. What a surprising and terrific Valentine’s gift to me and all the other lifelong fans of the show. Kate McKinnon introducing Brandi Carlisle and THEN watching Brandi and her phenomenal band (even the sisters playing their strings!) perform perhaps her best song ever: “The Joke”, made my heart soar.

3. Speaking of Valentine’s gifts, Mr. NOA (for those new to this blog, it’s my nickname for my husband, Mr. None of the Above) surprised me with a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Yes, they smell as good as they look. I think this guy is a keeper.

4. Circling back to music: The Fire Aid concert, which was to benefit those who lost their homes in the recent California wildfires. Wow. Blew me away. Do yourself a favor, unless you hate music: find this online and watch it. Highlights? Let me test my memory here. Alanis Morissette traipsing her cool self all over the stage like a boss while reminding us all what a gift her voice is. Sheila E banging her drums. And, well, so much more. I’ll share a video of the best performance at the end of this post.

5. Our grandson turned 11 recently. He celebrated on Saturday with family and three of his friends snow-tubing and eating pizza. His Grandpa and I gave him an itinerary of the overnight we’re taking him on this Spring for his birthday. That is something for us all to look forward to.

I hope you all have something to look forward to these days. Or the motivation and ability to find something to look forward to, however small. It’s important.

6. The sight of Uncle Sam (as in L. Jackson) at Kendrick Lamar’s SuperBowl halftime show last Sunday. I loved the subversiveness of it. Good trouble.

7. The movie “A Real Pain”, on Hulu. It was the right combo, in my view, of sweet and sour. It did not have a convoluted or complicated storyline. It was very well-acted (Kieran Culkin, Jesse Eisenberg…and Jennifer Grey, my fellow Gen Xr’s). It was sweet and sad and funny at the right times. If you like sweet but not saccharine, relatable relationship stories with humor in your movies, you’ll agree this one is a winner.

8. The queen on her throne singing a most meaningful and bittersweet song at the FireAid concert. I’m not a big crier, but this performance brought tears to my eyes.

Aging, Blogging, Humor, Intentionality, Joy, Mindset

Cultivating Joy

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It’s my birthday week and part of me wants to give myself a pass and skip publishing a blog post. Part of me wants to go on and on about how it’s my birthday week and it’s so awesome because I’ve got fun plans and Gee Whiz I made it to 58 and I’ve still got all of my original parts (minus the tonsils).

But if I’ve learned nothing about my path as a blogger, it’s that skipping one week of publishing is often a slippery slope to going another week, then another, until I’m almost paralyzed by the thought of ever writing another thing within the blogosphere.

So, here’s my post this week.

Ha ha ha!

I’m actually trying really hard not to crack here, people.

While everything in this country appears to rapidly be going to hell in a handbasket, including Mr. NOA (a fed employee) being potentially on the brink of losing his status as a remote worker, I’m doing my best to remain intentional.

As in intentional about cultivating joy in my life. Cultivating joy through action is a healthy way to give myself a positive (if temporary) distraction from the horrors of it all. I think cultivating joy is a solid form of resistance.

It’s simple things, like the banana bread (with milk chocolate chips, no less) baking in my oven right now. Spending time in my rec room organizing old photos while listening to whatever is playing on The Current (MPR’s super cool radio station that I’ve spoken about in this space in the past). Writing short little blog posts to share with you and keeping our blogging connections going within this community. Geeking out about the SNL 50 docu-series streaming on Peacock.

For shits and giggles, here’s some photos I found commemorating my childhood birthday celebrations. Left to right: my 5th birthday, my 1st birthday (no hair, didn’t care), my 10th birthday, and my 7th birthday.

I hope that each one of you finds ways to cultivate joy in these challenging times. Please share in the comments if and how you are cultivating your own joy these days. I’m always open to suggestions from you, my friends!

As you well know by now, music is a crucial ingredient in the recipe of my life. On that note, here’s my new favorite song. It’s got a melody that I love to whistle along to and the video is just so very sweet.

Childhood, GenX, Mindset, Social Media

P is for Precious

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Several months ago, I read a blog post asking “What are you precious about?”

I think that’s a really great question. It’s one that I’ve been periodically chewing on all this time. What does it mean though, to be “precious” about something? From my perch, it means being firmly attached to something at the soul level. So attached that you would be hard-pressed to change your mind about it. So attached that you are unable to see how it may be problematic. How it may be clouding your vision or negatively impacting your interactions with others. Sort of like that proverbial hill you’d be willing to die on.

Maybe you’re precious about a belief or an opinion. Maybe it’s a relationship or an attitude.

My (perhaps unpopular) opinion is that my generation, Gen X (born between 1965 and 1981), is overly precious about their identity as kids who were brought up in the “glory” days of the 70’s and the 80’s.

What makes me say this is my participation (I use this term loosely, as I am more of a lurker there than an active contributor) in a Facebook group for Gen X’rs.

I do realize that this FB group I’m in is but a sampling of the Gen X community, but the attitude of some of these fellow Gen X’rs is really something. The cutting sarcasm, the “f your feelings”, the “ok, boomer” and “you must really be a millenial” comments abound in this group.

Now, I can be as sarcastic as the next guy, and believe me when I say that I’ve certainly rolled my eyes and slung snarky retorts as a result of my Gen-X influenced sense of humor…but man! Some of these Gen X r’s are on such high horses about how tough they are because they survived being latch-key kids who drank from garden hoses in their backyards. It’s like they have a chip on their shoulders, an armor they wear at all times. I think this hampers their ability to have compassion for others, especially those in different generations. I really think that’s a crying shame.

How I see it is that we all had absolutely no say whatsoever about the fact that we were born in whatever era we were born in. Being born between 1965 and 1981 didn’t give us superpowers. Being raised in the 70’s and 80’s didn’t either. Gen X is no more special than any other generation.

That’s not to say that being Gen X isn’t an important part of my identity. Of course it is. My sense of humor was shaped in my pre-teen and teenage years through consuming Saturday Night Life, Late Night with David Letterman, and SCTV. And I think that gave me a great sense of humor, thankyouverymuch. I and my fellow Gen X’rs benefited from being raised at a time when the American economy was good. We grew up before the rise of gun violence in this country. We were safe and secure from so much.

The best thing to me, however, about being a Gen X’r is how much freedom we had as kids. We were not over-scheduled. We were left to our own devices to a large extent. I think this has resulted in my generation being creative, independent, and self-sufficient. Scrappy and resourceful.

If my generation could just take their cynicism down a notch or two by recognizing how precious they are about their Gen X identity, that’d be great.

Now, for a quintessential 80’s tune that to me is the rallying cry of Gen X. Check it out-it’s RAD!

Climate Change, Community, Compassion, Memories, Travel

I’m So Sorry, California

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We paused the news coverage of the horrific urban wildfires in California the other night while I got our supper started. Mr. NOA asked Google to stream songs from Laurel Canyon on our little nest, which sits on our kitchen countertop. It was our little ode to California.

We talked about how much we enjoyed a documentary from a few years back about the beginnings of the Laurel Canyon music scene (Echo in the Canyon). It featured clips from and stories about the Eagles, Tom Petty, Linda Ronstadt, Jackson Browne, and more. We also talked about how much we enjoyed a vacation there, during which we were treated to an impromptu concert at an open-air shopping mall in Long Beach. The band was called “Steely Jam”. They of course were a band who did covers of Steely Dan songs.

I remember vacations I took with my parents in the 1980’s to California. My brother lived there with his then-wife and three kids. We loved being there: the palm trees, the ocean, the general atmosphere of laid back-ness. It was so much different than life in northern Minnesota. My parents and I were first introduced to Taco Bell during one of our visits there. We had Taco John’s at home, but Taco Bell, we determined, was superior.

My hope is that Mr. NOA and I will be able to visit this state together again, visiting San Francisco and Napa Valley in particular.

My heart goes out to this beautiful state and its people. What a nightmare they are living. I’ve seen some folks online making snarky comments about celebrities that have lost their homes, saying things along the lines of “too bad, so sad, they can just go stay in one of their other mansions”. It may in some cases be true that a celebrity can stay in another one of their homes in another state or country, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a big honking deal for them to have lost a home they created cherished memories in. And I believe that the majority of those folks who have lost their homes and all their worldly possessions in these wildfires are not wealthy celebrities. They are likely just like the rest of us Americans, working hard to maintain a secure and happy life for themselves and their families.

For now, all I can offer is my thoughts and prayers for the multitudes of people this has affected in California, along with the brave firefighters working tirelessly to extinguish the flames. I intend to pay close attention to California as time goes on to determine how I can be of help, financially or otherwise, to the people in this beautiful state as they navigate through this mess.

Aging, Creative Writing, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindset, Word of the Year

2025 WOTY: Intentionality

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I have chosen my WOTY (word of the year): Intentionality.

The reasoning behind this is that going into my 58th year on this planet, I feel the urge to seize the day, to make better choices with how I spend my time and mental energy, to live with gusto. I guess you could say I’m in a “now or never” mindset.

The definition of the word “intentionality”, according to me before I googled it, is this: a way of going through day-to-day life with purpose, open eyes, open ears, and an open heart.

Now, for the actual definition, from dictionary.com: 1) “the fact or quality of being done on purpose or with intent, and 2) “an attitude of purposefulness, with a commitment to deliberate action.”

My description of intentionality falls short, of course. I think it’s because it doesn’t include the words “deliberate action”. This is all making me realize that while my 2024 WOTY: “growth”, a worthy word for certain, “intentionality” is a superior word, because it is more specific. It involves taking action with purpose. The word “growth”, to me now, seems wishy-washy in comparison.

I am in the beginning stages of the process of identifying how I can bring intentionality into all aspects of my life.

I share my initial thoughts about the ways in which I aim to practice intentionality in part because I need to be held accountable for this endeavor. I’m choosing to trust that some of you reading this today will help me with that on some level. Though clearly I must hold myself accountable first and foremost.

Please know that I’m happy to be your cheerleader this year as well, whatever your goals are or whatever your WOTY is!

Here are some specifics on how I’d like to embrace intentionality in 2025:

Creative Expression

Engage with it more, in fun, new-to-me-ways, including but not limited to creative writing. Arts and crafts projects come to mind, but there’s also the ordinary, day-to-day opportunities to express my creativity: what I choose to wear, how I style my hair, how I decorate my house.

Physical and Mental Health

Continue on the healthier eating path that Mr. NOA and I began over the last two weeks. Making medical appointments that I’ve been putting off and prioritizing exercise. Being real with myself about my bandwidth.

Finances

This translates into buying local as much as possible. Buying especially from small businesses (like my favorite thrift stores). Reacquainting myself with the stuff I already have, whether that results in donating it, selling it, tossing it, re-purposing it, or starting to use it again. As opposed to just mindlessly buying more stuff.

This is what I’ve got so far, friends. I’ll be deep-diving into learning all I can about living with intentionality on the interwebs. I look forward to sharing what I learn along the way.

And now for a song that I’ve long loved which aligns with my WOTY and sense of clarity and optimism for this new year.

Blogging, Celebrate, Clarity, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Mindset, Reading, Self-Reflection, Word of the Year

So Long 2024/Cheers to 2025

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Like many of my fellow bloggers, I declared a WOTY for 2024. I chose the word “growth”.

I started out like gangbusters. I read the book “Atomic Habits”, which led me to affix happy little stickers onto the frame of my vision board each day that I met my goals (like writing daily and eating vegetables every day). I made progress, and I felt good about it.

This new habit lasted about 2 months, give or take.

I honestly can’t say what happened that threw me off course. Yet, it’s not like I completely abandoned my attempts at growth in these areas; I just neglected to track it daily with my stickers.

This is not to say I didn’t manage any growth this year. It’s just that the growth I achieved was less measurable. It was more on the inside.

I attribute my growth largely to my mission of reading daily. I didn’t reach my true goal of reading 24 books in the year 2024, but I don’t really care about that. It’s completely beside the point.

My reading obsession opened up my intellect and my imagination. Some of the books I read left me awe-struck, and some of them taught me new tricks. Many of them inspired me and some confused me. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. Let’s just say I’m going to keep it up.

In 2024, my thoughts about and relationship with money grew into something healthier (bottom line: it comes and it goes, and it’s all okay). I got smarter about how I spent it which sparked my creativity. With the help of a therapist, I gained more self-awareness. The vision of what I want my life to look like when I’m retired came into sharper focus this year. I have a bit more clarity about how I want to define myself as a writer who blogs. My hope going into the New Year is for that clarity to be evident in the stories I tell and the thoughts I share in this space.

It was also very much a year of strengthening relationships and learning to appreciate the differences between me and the people I am close to. An epiphany I recently had is that while I accept that I am not everybody’s “cup of tea”, whether that be IRL or on social media…neither are you. Nor is anyone else. Kind of takes the pressure off, don’t you think?

It’s good to remember that each of us has the power to choose how we frame things in our mind.

So, let’s turn the page to a new year. I’m planning to move through 2025 as intentionally as possible.

How about you?

To cap off the end of 2024, here’s a song with an inspiring message to carry us all into 2025.

Happy New Year, friends!

family, Humor, Storytelling

Story Time with Jim

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Someone I admire recently gave me the nudge I needed to follow through with this plan, which had been in my head for the last couple of months, to start capturing family stories.

Thanks, Stephanie H.

I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with my almost 90 year-old father-in-law, Jim, since last month, asking him to tell me his stories. Anyone who knows this man knows that he loves to tell stories (and talk political conspiracies) about his life growing up in Mexico.

Mexico, Missouri that is.

Here’s a little tale Jim told me recently.

Jim and his friend, Jimmy, purchased an old Model A together back around 1950. My MIL, Alice, commented, as he was telling this story, “you know there was going to be trouble when you had two ‘Jimmys'”. They’d drive it to school (they were about 16 at the time), then Jimmy would drive it to his after school job and our Jim would walk to the body shop where he worked after school. Then, when his work was done, Jimmy’s sister would pick Jim up in that Model A and drive him home.

Jim said that one night, he took the Model A out for a drive on his own. It was dark inside the vehicle (no inside lights in cars at that time), so Jim didn’t see that the gas tank was leaking. Fuel pumps had yet to be invented, so the gas tank was actually inside the vehicle, on the dashboard. It had to be higher up than the engine under the hood, so that gravity could allow the gas to get into the engine.

Jim drove it a ways down the road, and when he shifted it into a higher gear, it backfired and flames erupted inside. He said he “bailed out”, thankful that he had just installed a handle inside the door, and then watched, while he was on fire himself, the Model A careen down the road, fully ablaze. He thought to himself “now I’m going to have to leave town” because he was certain that the car was going to drive itself into town and set the whole place on fire. Fortunately, the Model A crashed into a ditch before that could happen.

As Jim was flailing about after bailing out of the Model A, there was what he called a “tramp or a hobo” walking along who quickly threw off his coat and covered Jim with it to extinguish the flames.

This could be known as the story where we all thank that unhoused person for saving Jim’s life. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have met Alice or fathered 3 kids. I wouldn’t have met Mr. NOA and we wouldn’t have our kids together. Our grandson wouldn’t exist.

So, thanks “Mr. Hobo”, and Merry Christmas to you, wherever you are.

American Politics, Christmas, Lifestyle, Rage, Truth

Christmas Witch?

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She is who greets you when you open the front door at my house here in Minnesconsin right now.

While my brain is currently immersed in all things Christmas, I can’t bring myself to take her off the wall where she hangs.

Maybe it’s because I’m feeling like a crone these days, what with the gray hair coming in hot on my head, the fact that I peed a little after a big sneeze (thanks, pepper!) this morning, and an eye infection that leaves me no choice but to forgo wearing contacts and eye makeup for the forseeable future.

Sorry, readers, but today you’re getting a little less “Pollyanna” from me and a little more “Pissy Polly”.

My witch is speaking to me these days. Call me bitter, quirky, or unhinged if you must, but I can’t bear to retire her to storage in my basement just yet. She started out as this retro, fun Halloween decoration for me (found at my favorite local shopping venue), and now she has evolved into something else. The power of the witch, perhaps?

My witch represents to me the feelings I’m experiencing lately. Anger at what my fellow Americans and I are up against with the incoming tRump administration. Rage about how little respect is being given to the civil servants and military personnel with the (current) Cabinet picks. Sheer frustration with the complete disregard for women’s rights, and the rights of marginalized folks like those in the LGBTQ+ community in this country.

So my witch is staying put. Though she will be bedazzled for Christmas. I’m too anal a person when it comes to decorating my house or putting together an outfit to wear, for that matter, to allow her to stick out like a sore Halloween thumb throughout this holiday season.

I feel like there’s a metaphor in there somewhere, right?

Anyway…a song to match my mood (and maybe yours?) for your listening pleasure.