All posts by Rhonda

I'm a 57 year old lover of life, family, friends, and creative writing (amongst numerous other activities, people, animals, big ideas, and things). I am a native Minnesotan now living in my happy place of "Minnesconsin". I was a case manager/social worker for many years in Wisconsin and am now ready for my new chapter in life as a writer. I enjoy writing about my day to day (mis)adventures, the people I love and those that inspire me, places I've traveled to, music that makes my world go 'round, politics and current affairs, and general observations and ideas about life and ideas on how it could be improved. My hope is that my blog will be interactive and uplifting.
Aging, Humor, Intentionality, Lifestyle, Self Improvement

I Feel Bad about my Arms

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Years ago, I started reading a book (possibly a memoir?) by Nora Ephron. When she wrote something to the effect of “I feel bad about my neck”, in that she felt it needed covering because as she’d gotten older the skin started looking crepey. I stopped reading after that line, because I just couldn’t relate. It felt like she was speaking to women “of a certain age” (aka much older than me at that time). And my neck was perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch.

Now I kinda get it. Only for me, it’s about my arms.

I was looking in the mirror a month or so ago and decided I didn’t like the appearance of my upper arms. They are flabby and jiggly and just overall unattractive. As I enjoy wearing sleeveless tops in the summertime, I decided to address this situation with intention.

Now, I’ve always had little upper-arm strength. I remember being one of maybe two or three other kids in middle school who were unable to do that thing where you hang by your arms on a metal bar. I also have hereditary peripheral neuropathy, which causes my limbs to frequently give me that oh-so-fun feeling of pins and needles, in particular when I stay in one position for too long.

I figured the simplest route to reducing my upper arm flab would be to incorporate doing push-ups on my bedroom floor during my regular morning yoga stretching/praying session.

Guess what? I can do up to 27 sit-ups now! Granted they are not the traditional, full-on push-ups; they are the kind of push-ups where I’m on my knees so that it’s only the upper half of my body weight in play. Then, I will do up to 4 actual, real push-ups. Well, real enough. I estimate that I’ve gone from moving 1/2 inch toward the floor to 1 whole inch since I began this routine.

This might seem quite pathetic to you all, especially if you’re the sporty type. But I see it as a baby step toward my goal of having less flabby arms and a stronger core. If I just remain consistent with it, I ought to get results.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

For your auditory enjoyment, may I present an uplifting, groovy little tune sung by a one-of-a-kind artist, Ray LaMontagne.

family, Love, Memories, Storytelling, Wisdom

Pearls on the Brain

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This post is inspired by two things.

Well, two women I loved and the “Pearls of Wisdom” theme the non-profit I work at has going on to celebrate our 30th year of serving the senior citizens and adults living with disabilities in our county. Because the traditional gift for 30 year anniversaries is pearls.

The two women I am referring to are my grandmothers, who both passed away years ago, when I was a young adult.

Both of my grandmothers were named Pearl.

Recently, I found what is surely the only photo in my family’s history of the three of us together. I, aged 8 or 9, in my red, snazzy, and bedazzled dance costume flanked on either side by a Pearl.

I’m so bummed that I cannot find that photo for the life of me.

But I did find these two:

Me, in my baby goblin era, with my dad’s Mom, Pearl.
What I’m certain is the last photo with me and the other Pearl (my mom’s Mom) when I was 19.

The two Pearls were very different from each other. Like, very.

One tended to stay awake late into the night playing solitaire.

The other read tarot cards in her younger days, which my Grandpa was vehemently opposed to. Something about it being “devil’s work”.

One was a great cook. The two things I clearly remember her making on the regular was chili with big chunks of celery, stewed tomatoes, and spaghetti. It was more like soup, but my mouth waters whenever I recall how delicious it was. The other was white cake with chocolate frosting. I remember there always seemed to be one of those cakes sitting on top of her washing machine (why there is beyond me).

The other Pearl comes to mind when I smell Noxema. The woman used it religiously. Speaking of religion, she was a believer of the evangelical pentacostal variety. She donated gobs of money over the years to the Billy Graham/700 Club nonsense. She was a teetotaler.

My other Grandma Pearl loved to laugh and socialize, (though I don’t think she was laughing when our family accidentally left her at Disneyland during our one-and-only big cross-country multi-family vacation in about 1974. A stellar moment in our family).

The other Pearl was a bit misunderstood and under-appreciated. I, along with several of my family members, believe she was living with an undiagnosed case of manic-depressive or bipolar mental illness. She could be super silly but also super not. We never knew what version of her to expect when we came to visit. One famous story from my mom’s youngest sister was when her friend Ruthie came to hang out after school, Grandma Pearl, for whatever reason, wanted her gone. She told Ruthie, “why don’t you go home and get acquainted with your own mother?” My aunt was mortified!

I’d really like to learn more about my two Pearls. Perhaps I will bite the bullet and sign up for one of those ancestry dna sites, so I can learn more about their lives before they became my Grandmas. Maybe that’d give me more of a notion of what their “pearls of wisdom” would be if they were still here with the rest of us.

Please don’t hold back with sharing your “pearls of wisdom” with me in the comments. The more original, the better!

I hope you enjoy today’s sweet song.

Friendships, GenX, Gratitude, Intentionality, Joy, Lifestyle, Music

Sometimes I Just Want to Yap about Music

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I’m currently obsessed with using my basement rec room more. That is where my turntable is situated and where my rocking chair lives. I have this vision that I will procure more albums along with a vessel to house them in. When I consider which albums I want, I think about the ones I had as a teenager in Northern Minnesota in the 80’s. The ones I played over and over again. The ones I donated long ago with the original turntable I got as a present for my birthday (12th or 13th?) from my parents.

Like these:

Mr. NOA’s best friend from college, Kevin (aka my soul brother) visited us last weekend and brought a large collection of albums. Some, he said, are “for keeps” (Hotel California by the Eagles is one of them) and others, he said, are “on loan”. Because he gave up his turntable years ago and isn’t sure when he’ll get another one. Kevin and his wife will be visiting us again soon and I look forward to spinning some vinyl with him then.

He and I joked the other night that if someday we happen to be in the same nursing home together, we would keep the place hopping with our excellent musical taste and deejaying skills. I reminded him of the fantasy I’ve long had of the two of us collaborating on a podcast about all things music. I think that must be put on my list of retirement goals.

Kevin “gifted” me an eclectic variety of albums. For instance, there’s two copies of the soundtrack for the musical “Hair” and two copies of Neil Young’s “Decade” album. There’s one from Kim Carnes and a couple of Glen Campbell and Kris Kristofferson albums in the mix.

I spent some time this afternoon, given it’s Tuesday and my day off from work, sitting on the floor in the rec room looking through all of these records. I’m mostly looking forward to listening to Tom Petty’s “Southern Accents”, all of the multiple Paul Simon and Simon & Garfunkel albums, the Neil Young albums, and the one from the “Traveling Willburys”. And “Hotel California” by the Eagles without a doubt!

The most remarkable thing to me, beyond my brother sharing his treasure trove of music with me, is the loving care he took with them. There are several albums in this collection where Kevin slipped into the clear sleeves newspaper clippings related to the artist. If there ever was someone who could make a living from being a rock and roll music historian, it’d be Kevin.

Photographic Evidence 🙂

Of course I couldn’t possibly end this post with no music clips, so here’s a favorite of mine from “The Firm” (did you know this band only had two albums and was fronted by none other than Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin and Paul Rogers from Bad Company?). I love the swampiness of this tune…how about you?

Keep on rocking in the free world, folks (while it’s still free)!

Gender, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Names, Planning

Name Games

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I recently had a conversation with someone about baby names. She theorized that everyone has a name they detest, based on it being the name of someone they dislike. I had to agree with her, as the instant she shared this theory, the name and image belonging to that name popped into my head.

What do you think?

When you consider this theory, does your mind’s eye come up with an image of someone in particular?

Or, conversely, when you think of a name that you absolutely love, does it conjure up an image of someone you admire?

Now, the reason we were discussing names in the first place is on account of the fact that our daughter is having a baby this summer. She and her fiance recently found out she’s having a boy. This will be our third grandchild (counting our soon-to-be son-in-law’s 5-year-old)

I’m so pleased that they have learned the baby’s gender, because that means there will not be a “gender reveal” party. I absolutely despise those. They are so stupid. I just don’t think gender matters so much. I mean, can’t we all just be happy that a new life is coming into the world?

The kids have been coming up with names now and it sounds like they are going to incorporate Mr. NOA’s middle name into it. I think that’s pretty sweet.

I wonder when this baby starts talking if he’ll call me “Grammy”. I had high hopes that our first grandson would call me that, but despite my best efforts, it never caught on. I recently saw an episode of my current favorite sitcom, “Abbott Elementary”, and one of the characters, upon learning she was going to become a grandma for the first time, christened herself “Glamma”. A person I know IRL who is about to become a grandma for the first time recently sported a sweater emblazoned with the name “Gigi” on it. I feel like “Grammy” suits me better though.

I need to get my butt in gear and plan a baby shower now. We have settled on a date for this gathering, which will be before baby is born (4th of July is the due date). It’s been a minute since I’ve planned a big-ish party, so wish me luck!

And I leave you with one of my very favorite name songs. I hope you enjoy!

Creative Writing, Education, Positivity, Sharing, Social Media

Did You Know?

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It occurred to me recently that a lot of us on social media tend to rage about those things in society which we are against. It is good and right, in my view, to express our righteous indignation about those things that don’t square with our values and harm people. I would never suggest in a million years that any of us ought to stay quiet and comply in the face of injustice.

Yet don’t you agree there is value in expressing that with which we are in favor of? The things we are “pro” instead of “con”?

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of something I am “pro” is education.

I don’t think I need to go into great detail here as to why that is, especially given the fact that I’ve got smart readers who no doubt consider themselves to be pro-education. I will say that critical thinking is something I value deeply and education is the key.

Now comes the part where I answer the question posed in the title of this little blog post.

You can take classes online at Harvard for free!

I learned this from someone I recently met. As a person who knows for certain that if I won the lottery, I’d waste no time applying to colleges to get my MFA (or maybe my MBA. Or a Master’s in Sociology or Psychology), this really intrigued me. I love learning. Always have, and always will.

Naturally, I had to check it out. There is quite the bevy of classes available, which was a sweet little surprise. I haven’t made the time to actually attempt to register myself for any of these free classes so I can’t vouch for what the process would be. There weren’t any classes available that really jumped out at me but it’s sure nice to know that this is a potential option. Though one I saw about omens, oracles, and prophecies sounds interesting.

Now, it wouldn’t be as much fun, perhaps, as I can imagine it was for a former client of mine from back when I was a social worker, who regularly “audited” college classes at the local university. He’d mosey over to the nearby state university and sit amongst the enrolled students (though in retrospect he may have been creeping on them) and listen to the professor’s lectures. No need to take notes or run to the campus library or the local coffee shop to do actual homework. I wish I could recall what classes he audited.

Please share in the comments if you have taken any of these free online classes via Harvard, or, if you happen to take a minute to peruse the offerings, which class or classes you’d be liable to take.

As always, I shall end this post with a song. It’s a favorite of mine from Steely Dan. You might want to get your dancing shoes on for this one!

Blogging, Blogging Community, Gratitude, Intentionality, Joy, Positivity, Self-Reflection, SNL fans, Valentine's Day

Blogaversary Number 8

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Saturday, February 8th, 2025 was a snow day for us here in Minnesconsin. We adjusted our plans and hunkered down inside.

As I was sitting at my dining room table, peering out at the snow falling down outside my window, I saw a WordPress notification congratulating me on 8 years of blogging.

With 8 being my guiding number, I can’t pass up the opportunity to share my thoughts about this blog-aversary.

First off, I’m in a different place than I was 8 years ago, physically and mentally. At that time, I was living a more free-wheeling life in Colorado with Mr. NOA. My responsibilities at the time were minimal and I had oodles of free time. Just for fun I decided to start this blog. My aim was to put myself out there and see if I could find like-minded souls who appreciated my ramblings.

Fortunately, I did. And I appreciate every one of you. And I miss the ones who wrote some of the funniest, righteous, and heartfelt writing I’ve ever read. The ones who, in some cases, for no known reason, stopped blogging (on WordPress anyway).

I wrote a lot of sub-par posts. I didn’t have any grand plan when I first started out. I still don’t.

I wrote about wins and losses. I wrote about what I think about the state of the world and the state of my life. I wrote about vacations I took and books I read. I wrote about interactions I had and my dreams for the future.

I shared in this space stories of my personal failures and misadventures and my passion for music and comedy. I wrote about work and I wrote about my friends and family.

I feel good about the fact that I’ve stuck with it.

But I don’t want to keep waxing nostalgic about this milestone today. That’s because I’m grounded in the present and, frankly, I’m boring myself. It only stands to reason that I’m probably boring you right now as well.

So here I go, switching gears.

*Cue the sound of a record being scratched*

8 Good Things To Share

Disclaimer before I proceed: I am in no way forgetting the fact that America is essentially on fire and the American people are suffering and by God I will do whatever it is I can to minimize the damage. But, on this day, I’m leaning into my Pollyanna-ish inclinations.

  1. My work hours have increased. Meaning instead of working M-W-F at my lovely local non-profit, I’m working M-W-Th-F. Tuesdays are all mine! She says greedily. The reality of working more hours, however, is that I’ve inadvertently challenged myself to ramp up the focus on that one little word I declared allegiance to when I was feeling slightly shinier about 2025. That would be “intentionality”. As in, how am I choosing to spend my downtime? Which gets to the heart of the word itself. Note to self: say a prayer of gratitude for the luxury of having downtime to begin with. You’re a lucky broad.

2. SNL 50 Homecoming Concert: the music, the laughs. What a surprising and terrific Valentine’s gift to me and all the other lifelong fans of the show. Kate McKinnon introducing Brandi Carlisle and THEN watching Brandi and her phenomenal band (even the sisters playing their strings!) perform perhaps her best song ever: “The Joke”, made my heart soar.

3. Speaking of Valentine’s gifts, Mr. NOA (for those new to this blog, it’s my nickname for my husband, Mr. None of the Above) surprised me with a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Yes, they smell as good as they look. I think this guy is a keeper.

4. Circling back to music: The Fire Aid concert, which was to benefit those who lost their homes in the recent California wildfires. Wow. Blew me away. Do yourself a favor, unless you hate music: find this online and watch it. Highlights? Let me test my memory here. Alanis Morissette traipsing her cool self all over the stage like a boss while reminding us all what a gift her voice is. Sheila E banging her drums. And, well, so much more. I’ll share a video of the best performance at the end of this post.

5. Our grandson turned 11 recently. He celebrated on Saturday with family and three of his friends snow-tubing and eating pizza. His Grandpa and I gave him an itinerary of the overnight we’re taking him on this Spring for his birthday. That is something for us all to look forward to.

I hope you all have something to look forward to these days. Or the motivation and ability to find something to look forward to, however small. It’s important.

6. The sight of Uncle Sam (as in L. Jackson) at Kendrick Lamar’s SuperBowl halftime show last Sunday. I loved the subversiveness of it. Good trouble.

7. The movie “A Real Pain”, on Hulu. It was the right combo, in my view, of sweet and sour. It did not have a convoluted or complicated storyline. It was very well-acted (Kieran Culkin, Jesse Eisenberg…and Jennifer Grey, my fellow Gen Xr’s). It was sweet and sad and funny at the right times. If you like sweet but not saccharine, relatable relationship stories with humor in your movies, you’ll agree this one is a winner.

8. The queen on her throne singing a most meaningful and bittersweet song at the FireAid concert. I’m not a big crier, but this performance brought tears to my eyes.

Aging, Blogging, Humor, Intentionality, Joy, Mindset

Cultivating Joy

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It’s my birthday week and part of me wants to give myself a pass and skip publishing a blog post. Part of me wants to go on and on about how it’s my birthday week and it’s so awesome because I’ve got fun plans and Gee Whiz I made it to 58 and I’ve still got all of my original parts (minus the tonsils).

But if I’ve learned nothing about my path as a blogger, it’s that skipping one week of publishing is often a slippery slope to going another week, then another, until I’m almost paralyzed by the thought of ever writing another thing within the blogosphere.

So, here’s my post this week.

Ha ha ha!

I’m actually trying really hard not to crack here, people.

While everything in this country appears to rapidly be going to hell in a handbasket, including Mr. NOA (a fed employee) being potentially on the brink of losing his status as a remote worker, I’m doing my best to remain intentional.

As in intentional about cultivating joy in my life. Cultivating joy through action is a healthy way to give myself a positive (if temporary) distraction from the horrors of it all. I think cultivating joy is a solid form of resistance.

It’s simple things, like the banana bread (with milk chocolate chips, no less) baking in my oven right now. Spending time in my rec room organizing old photos while listening to whatever is playing on The Current (MPR’s super cool radio station that I’ve spoken about in this space in the past). Writing short little blog posts to share with you and keeping our blogging connections going within this community. Geeking out about the SNL 50 docu-series streaming on Peacock.

For shits and giggles, here’s some photos I found commemorating my childhood birthday celebrations. Left to right: my 5th birthday, my 1st birthday (no hair, didn’t care), my 10th birthday, and my 7th birthday.

I hope that each one of you finds ways to cultivate joy in these challenging times. Please share in the comments if and how you are cultivating your own joy these days. I’m always open to suggestions from you, my friends!

As you well know by now, music is a crucial ingredient in the recipe of my life. On that note, here’s my new favorite song. It’s got a melody that I love to whistle along to and the video is just so very sweet.

Childhood, GenX, Mindset, Social Media

P is for Precious

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Several months ago, I read a blog post asking “What are you precious about?”

I think that’s a really great question. It’s one that I’ve been periodically chewing on all this time. What does it mean though, to be “precious” about something? From my perch, it means being firmly attached to something at the soul level. So attached that you would be hard-pressed to change your mind about it. So attached that you are unable to see how it may be problematic. How it may be clouding your vision or negatively impacting your interactions with others. Sort of like that proverbial hill you’d be willing to die on.

Maybe you’re precious about a belief or an opinion. Maybe it’s a relationship or an attitude.

My (perhaps unpopular) opinion is that my generation, Gen X (born between 1965 and 1981), is overly precious about their identity as kids who were brought up in the “glory” days of the 70’s and the 80’s.

What makes me say this is my participation (I use this term loosely, as I am more of a lurker there than an active contributor) in a Facebook group for Gen X’rs.

I do realize that this FB group I’m in is but a sampling of the Gen X community, but the attitude of some of these fellow Gen X’rs is really something. The cutting sarcasm, the “f your feelings”, the “ok, boomer” and “you must really be a millenial” comments abound in this group.

Now, I can be as sarcastic as the next guy, and believe me when I say that I’ve certainly rolled my eyes and slung snarky retorts as a result of my Gen-X influenced sense of humor…but man! Some of these Gen X r’s are on such high horses about how tough they are because they survived being latch-key kids who drank from garden hoses in their backyards. It’s like they have a chip on their shoulders, an armor they wear at all times. I think this hampers their ability to have compassion for others, especially those in different generations. I really think that’s a crying shame.

How I see it is that we all had absolutely no say whatsoever about the fact that we were born in whatever era we were born in. Being born between 1965 and 1981 didn’t give us superpowers. Being raised in the 70’s and 80’s didn’t either. Gen X is no more special than any other generation.

That’s not to say that being Gen X isn’t an important part of my identity. Of course it is. My sense of humor was shaped in my pre-teen and teenage years through consuming Saturday Night Life, Late Night with David Letterman, and SCTV. And I think that gave me a great sense of humor, thankyouverymuch. I and my fellow Gen X’rs benefited from being raised at a time when the American economy was good. We grew up before the rise of gun violence in this country. We were safe and secure from so much.

The best thing to me, however, about being a Gen X’r is how much freedom we had as kids. We were not over-scheduled. We were left to our own devices to a large extent. I think this has resulted in my generation being creative, independent, and self-sufficient. Scrappy and resourceful.

If my generation could just take their cynicism down a notch or two by recognizing how precious they are about their Gen X identity, that’d be great.

Now, for a quintessential 80’s tune that to me is the rallying cry of Gen X. Check it out-it’s RAD!

Climate Change, Community, Compassion, Memories, Travel

I’m So Sorry, California

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We paused the news coverage of the horrific urban wildfires in California the other night while I got our supper started. Mr. NOA asked Google to stream songs from Laurel Canyon on our little nest, which sits on our kitchen countertop. It was our little ode to California.

We talked about how much we enjoyed a documentary from a few years back about the beginnings of the Laurel Canyon music scene (Echo in the Canyon). It featured clips from and stories about the Eagles, Tom Petty, Linda Ronstadt, Jackson Browne, and more. We also talked about how much we enjoyed a vacation there, during which we were treated to an impromptu concert at an open-air shopping mall in Long Beach. The band was called “Steely Jam”. They of course were a band who did covers of Steely Dan songs.

I remember vacations I took with my parents in the 1980’s to California. My brother lived there with his then-wife and three kids. We loved being there: the palm trees, the ocean, the general atmosphere of laid back-ness. It was so much different than life in northern Minnesota. My parents and I were first introduced to Taco Bell during one of our visits there. We had Taco John’s at home, but Taco Bell, we determined, was superior.

My hope is that Mr. NOA and I will be able to visit this state together again, visiting San Francisco and Napa Valley in particular.

My heart goes out to this beautiful state and its people. What a nightmare they are living. I’ve seen some folks online making snarky comments about celebrities that have lost their homes, saying things along the lines of “too bad, so sad, they can just go stay in one of their other mansions”. It may in some cases be true that a celebrity can stay in another one of their homes in another state or country, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a big honking deal for them to have lost a home they created cherished memories in. And I believe that the majority of those folks who have lost their homes and all their worldly possessions in these wildfires are not wealthy celebrities. They are likely just like the rest of us Americans, working hard to maintain a secure and happy life for themselves and their families.

For now, all I can offer is my thoughts and prayers for the multitudes of people this has affected in California, along with the brave firefighters working tirelessly to extinguish the flames. I intend to pay close attention to California as time goes on to determine how I can be of help, financially or otherwise, to the people in this beautiful state as they navigate through this mess.

Aging, Creative Writing, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Mindset, Word of the Year

2025 WOTY: Intentionality

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I have chosen my WOTY (word of the year): Intentionality.

The reasoning behind this is that going into my 58th year on this planet, I feel the urge to seize the day, to make better choices with how I spend my time and mental energy, to live with gusto. I guess you could say I’m in a “now or never” mindset.

The definition of the word “intentionality”, according to me before I googled it, is this: a way of going through day-to-day life with purpose, open eyes, open ears, and an open heart.

Now, for the actual definition, from dictionary.com: 1) “the fact or quality of being done on purpose or with intent, and 2) “an attitude of purposefulness, with a commitment to deliberate action.”

My description of intentionality falls short, of course. I think it’s because it doesn’t include the words “deliberate action”. This is all making me realize that while my 2024 WOTY: “growth”, a worthy word for certain, “intentionality” is a superior word, because it is more specific. It involves taking action with purpose. The word “growth”, to me now, seems wishy-washy in comparison.

I am in the beginning stages of the process of identifying how I can bring intentionality into all aspects of my life.

I share my initial thoughts about the ways in which I aim to practice intentionality in part because I need to be held accountable for this endeavor. I’m choosing to trust that some of you reading this today will help me with that on some level. Though clearly I must hold myself accountable first and foremost.

Please know that I’m happy to be your cheerleader this year as well, whatever your goals are or whatever your WOTY is!

Here are some specifics on how I’d like to embrace intentionality in 2025:

Creative Expression

Engage with it more, in fun, new-to-me-ways, including but not limited to creative writing. Arts and crafts projects come to mind, but there’s also the ordinary, day-to-day opportunities to express my creativity: what I choose to wear, how I style my hair, how I decorate my house.

Physical and Mental Health

Continue on the healthier eating path that Mr. NOA and I began over the last two weeks. Making medical appointments that I’ve been putting off and prioritizing exercise. Being real with myself about my bandwidth.

Finances

This translates into buying local as much as possible. Buying especially from small businesses (like my favorite thrift stores). Reacquainting myself with the stuff I already have, whether that results in donating it, selling it, tossing it, re-purposing it, or starting to use it again. As opposed to just mindlessly buying more stuff.

This is what I’ve got so far, friends. I’ll be deep-diving into learning all I can about living with intentionality on the interwebs. I look forward to sharing what I learn along the way.

And now for a song that I’ve long loved which aligns with my WOTY and sense of clarity and optimism for this new year.