Category Archives: Self Improvement

Art, Blogging, Creative Pursuits, Gratitude, Intentionality, Self Improvement

Unplugging and Opening Up

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I unplugged last week, for the entire week. I rejected the chatter outside of myself by not checking the news on my laptop in the mornings and throughout the day on my phone. By not scrolling social media during commercial breaks on the t.v. By not reading my latest book of choice at night before bed. And it was revelatory. I found a sense of peace and calm within myself that led me to be more present in my life.

The reason for this “unplugging”, my friends, is that it was “reading deprivation” week for the Artist’s Way course I started earlier this month.

I apologize to any of you who have not yet done Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”, as I recognize that I just shared a spoiler. So just get it out of your head if you can while I wax on for a bit more about this experience I am having.

I’d been quasi-familiar with “The Artist’s Way”, thinking to myself that “someday” I’d actually do it. Well, it just so happened that one day last month, I saw an upcoming “Artist’s Way” online course, hosted by a blogger/creative I’ve followed and admired for several years. In one impulsive moment, I signed myself up for it, and promptly ordered the book online.

I’m hesitant to get into the details of my experience thus far with this creative project, because I, for better or worse, am wary of jinxing myself. I prefer the notion, shared with me by a former co-worker, which is “under-promise but over-deliver”. Writing this out loud, in the open, feels scary to me. But it’s the truth, Ruth.

I can say for certain that I will be repeating “The Artists Way” again, and possibly again, and again and again, in the future. It’s given me the permission I didn’t realize I needed to hyperfocus on my creative spirit. As I work through each chapter and the accompanying exercises, I gain more clarity and focus. It’s lit a fire within me and I’m grateful for that.

This is why I’m keeping this blog post short and sweet. I just want you all to know that I’m still here, still in the “game” of blogging, but making way for my creative spirit to more fully blossom via “The Artists Way”. It’s simply a bigger priority for me right now, and for that reason, the frequency of my blog posts will likely continue to be relatively low.

But you never know. My arms are wide open to the creative spirit now, so I may surprise you (and myself) by jumping on here and sharing, lamenting, and/or pontificating more frequently.

Big Important Question for you all:

Have you participated in “The Artists Way”? If so, what were your lasting impressions of the experience? Your takeaways?

Please enjoy this beautiful ballad by Sarah McClachlan, the woman behind “Lillith Fair”, which I attended with my bestie and our two husbands in 1998 (or 1999?). I recently watched the documentary about “Lillith Fair” on Netflix and this song hasn’t escaped my brain since.

But first, a pic of the event that I just found:

Aging, Humor, Intentionality, Lifestyle, Self Improvement

I Feel Bad about my Arms

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Years ago, I started reading a book (possibly a memoir?) by Nora Ephron. When she wrote something to the effect of “I feel bad about my neck”, in that she felt it needed covering because as she’d gotten older the skin started looking crepey. I stopped reading after that line, because I just couldn’t relate. It felt like she was speaking to women “of a certain age” (aka much older than me at that time). And my neck was perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch.

Now I kinda get it. Only for me, it’s about my arms.

I was looking in the mirror a month or so ago and decided I didn’t like the appearance of my upper arms. They are flabby and jiggly and just overall unattractive. As I enjoy wearing sleeveless tops in the summertime, I decided to address this situation with intention.

Now, I’ve always had little upper-arm strength. I remember being one of maybe two or three other kids in middle school who were unable to do that thing where you hang by your arms on a metal bar. I also have hereditary peripheral neuropathy, which causes my limbs to frequently give me that oh-so-fun feeling of pins and needles, in particular when I stay in one position for too long.

I figured the simplest route to reducing my upper arm flab would be to incorporate doing push-ups on my bedroom floor during my regular morning yoga stretching/praying session.

Guess what? I can do up to 27 sit-ups now! Granted they are not the traditional, full-on push-ups; they are the kind of push-ups where I’m on my knees so that it’s only the upper half of my body weight in play. Then, I will do up to 4 actual, real push-ups. Well, real enough. I estimate that I’ve gone from moving 1/2 inch toward the floor to 1 whole inch since I began this routine.

This might seem quite pathetic to you all, especially if you’re the sporty type. But I see it as a baby step toward my goal of having less flabby arms and a stronger core. If I just remain consistent with it, I ought to get results.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

For your auditory enjoyment, may I present an uplifting, groovy little tune sung by a one-of-a-kind artist, Ray LaMontagne.

Aging, Ambition, gardening, Home, Lifestyle, Mindset, Self Improvement

Piecemealing: Inside and Outside

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For all intents and purposes, winter here in Minnesconsin is winding down (not like it ever wound up, and yes I’m probably inadverdently manifesting blizzard conditions before this month is out), and spring is knocking at the door.

During this transitional period, I’ve been working on the inside. Preparing for working outside.

In addition to working on specific areas to improve my internal life, Mr. NOA and I are working together and individually on the inside of our home. Organizing, cleaning, and slightly re-decorating this joint. All so we are ready, once the temps allow, to work (and play) outside. We have grand plans for our gardens. The hope is that we can improve on our lackluster gardening situation in 2023.

I think what’s so cool about this house (house number 8, if you care to read) is that it has so much potential. I imagine us living here for another 15 years, give or take. If it’s forever I’m good with that too. As we age, however, it’s likely that we’ll want to live in a home without stairs. I am an optimist, but also a realist.

There’s a multitude of home improvements we’d like to do, big and small. With the intention of staying here for a good long time, we have the luxury of doing it all piecemeal. It doesn’t all have to be done by a certain date or even a certain year. It’s as time/money/energy allows.

Of course, life is gonna life, right? Any number of things could happen that would derail our plans. That’s why I think it’s good to continue working internally, on myself. To increase my mental and emotional resilience, to become a better communicater, and a more self-aware person.

I think both inside and outside, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

Now for the song that came to mind as I finished writing this piece. This is such a lovely cover of the classic song from the Byrds and I think you’ll enjoy it too 🙂

Books, Personal Growth, Reading, Self Improvement, Time Management

24 Books in 2024

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I’ve never read a Stephen King book. I tried once when I was a teenager, but I was overwhelmed by the number of pages.

Not that I don’t like or appreciate Stephen King. I’ve enjoyed the movies and mini-series that came from his books, especially “The Stand”.

Why am I talking about Stephen King? Because of this quote I read in 2023 that really stuck with me.

I have to paraphrase it because I’ll be darned if I can find it online.

“When you have a lot going on in your head, write. When you are not feeling inspired by anything in particular, read.”

This *paraphrased* quote gave me permission (in my head) to not force myself to write. It let me off the hook. It’s a simple yet very valuable piece of advice, don’t you think?

So, I’ve been reading more. I enjoy a variety of different genres, though I gravitate towards self-help, memoirs, psychological thrillers/mysteries, and books with fictional stories about multi-generational families and the secrets they keep.

I’m currently reading “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I am getting a lot out of it. Plenty of great tips and tricks which, to me, seem to fall under that awesome phrase from Jen Sincero’s “You Are a BadAss” book: “your brain is your bitch”.

After living in Minnesconsin for nearly 2 years now, I finally visited our local library earlier this month. As one of my areas of growth this year is to increase our savings, this was a good move. No more buying books via Amazon for me!

My aim is to read 24 books in 2024. “Atomic Habits” is of course the first one. Just 23 more to go!

I recognize this is a terribly ambitious goal, especially considering that the only consistent time I seem to be able to read is right before bed. Prior to my reading time, however, I tend to watch t.v., which of course I will need to cut back on if I have any chance of even reading 12 books this year.

I have a great interest in choosing books from the various lists I’ve seen online of banned books. Those books that particular self-righteous religious zealots have deemed inappropriate for young readers in public schools. Books that contain stories about race, sexual orientation, and social (in)justice.

I was so greedy at the library that I came out with three books that really piqued my interest. They are: Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse Five”, “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter” by Carson McCullers, and “Trigger Warning” from Neil Gaiman.

While I have a few books I plan on adding to my “24 books in 2024” list, such as “The Diary of Anne Frank” and “1984”, I would love for you to share in the comments any thoughts you have about the books I have thus far on my list and/or suggestions on what I ought to pick for the next 19 books to read.

TIA, my generous reading and writing friends!

Aging, Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Self-Reflection, Truth, Wisdom

Aging is Rad

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Later this month, I’ll be turning 57. I’m closer to the end of my life on this earth than I am to the beginning of it.

I realize that sounds dramatic, but it’s true.

This is why I feel a sense of urgency to get on with living a fuller life. I want to have the experiences that, and conversations with people who light me up and expand my worldview. I say this of course for self-serving reasons to an extent, but my true, ultimate goal is to leave a positive mark on the world when all is said and done. When I am said and done.

Yes, that was a bit on the dramatic side too, but it’s also true. Another truth: I waver between taking myself too seriously and not taking myself seriously enough.

This urgency I feel is the crux of why “growth” is my word of the year. I can’t expect the things I want to happen to actually happen if I don’t grow.

Bottom line for me is that time is a precious commodity that I’ve gotten really good at wasting. And I’m done with that baloney.

I have come to the understanding that being in my 50’s is pretty rad.

Do you all remember the actor Justine Batemen from the 80’s sitcom “Family Ties”? She inspired me to re-think aging, back when I saw this video in 2023.

The one thing I love about being in my 50’s is the wisdom I’ve gained. As Justine said in this clip, I’ve never been smarter and never had more connections now that I’m older. It’s true. It’s true for all of us who are in our 50’s and beyond, don’t you think?

Not that I couldn’t be smarter or have even more connections. That’s yet another reason that “growth” is my WOTY.

At almost 57, I’m more confident and aware of the skills I have which were gained through trial and error. I am more aware of my shortcomings but, and this is the most important part: I’m not as obsessed with them as I once was.

I recently joined Threads, after exiting the app previously known as Twitter. I’m enjoying it so much more and here’s an example of why that is. I was scrolling it this morning and came upon a quote I’d never read before from Betty Friedan. It encapsulates how I’m feeling about aging.

Your comments on this blog post would be much appreciated, because I believe our attitudes about aging ought to be examined. Who’s with me?

Ambition, Blogging, Life, Mindset, Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Word of the Year

2024 WOTY

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For a hot minute, I was going to jump feet first into the WordPress “Bloganuary” challenge. It’d be fun, I thought. A good challenge to start the new year. Then, once I took a moment to consider the pressure I’d put myself under to write and publish a blog post every single day for a month, I decided against it. No sense in biting off more than I can reasonably chew.

Know thyself.

Then, after seeing other bloggers announcing their “Word of the Year”, I decided that is something I wanted to embrace. Especially if I chose the right word for me.

How about you all? Is there one word, or perhaps a phrase, that you have chosen as your guiding light for 2024?

My word of the year is “Growth”.

It’s really simple: what I want for myself in 2024 (and truly, beyond) is to grow. To improve. To be better and do better. This is all so that I can be a better human. A better friend. A better employee. A better steward of time and money. A better steward of my mind and body. A better mom and grandma. A better spouse. A better writer.

What I will need to remind myself on the regular as I move forward this year is that growth does not happen without some pain. I’m going to be taking more risks, and with risks there will be failures.

Plenty of people would be uncomfortable doing what I do, blogging. I’m still not completely comfortable with it myself, in spite of doing it more or less consistently since 2017. So, maybe I have a leg up in a sense, as I push through the discomfort post by post.

I’m not going to go into specifics here and now, but general areas of personal growth in 2024 for me include, but are not limited to: blogging/writing, personal finances, relationships, work, and creative expression beyond writing.

The specifics will be written in the brand spanking new journal I recently brought. The idea is that at the beginning of each month, I will write down the objectives for that month and how I’m going to achieve them. I’ve started with small ones in January, with the intention of building good habits that I can carry into the next month so I have momentum for the objectives I establish for personal growth in February. And so on for each month of the year.

May my enthusiasm for growth not wane as I move forward in this new year.

Blogging, Creative Writing, Curiosity, Education, Self Improvement

A Question about Questions

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What do you think: Is there such a thing as a “stupid” question?

Any answer you might give to this question is going to be subjective.

Here’s mine: Yes, but…

Such as “but it’s a matter of opinion” or “but it’s better to ask a stupid question than to pretend you know the answer”.

I mean, technically and subjectively, stupid questions do exist. Because stupid people exist.

I’m going to resist the temptation I have to be sarcastic and come up with examples of stupid questions here.

Question-askers ought to be encouraged. Nobody should feel they can’t ask questions in any given situation. Questions lead to answers, and answers fill up our tanks of knowledge. Isn’t that what we all want in this life, to gain knowledge?

What one thinks is a stupid question, another is seeking the answer. It may not just be the question-asker; it could be one or more people within earshot of the question. It is both unhelpful and unkind to share our opinion with the asker that the question is stupid. It doesn’t move things forward and it doesn’t engender trust in the person being asked the question.

It shuts curiosity down.

I will stick with the technically incorrect yet kinder, gentler school of thought that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” as I believe my opinion on the intelligence of a question anyone asks of me is much less important than respecting others and fostering meaningful, loving, and trusting relationships.

Simple as that.

Now, the questions I ask in this series (which began with this post) may be considered silly or odd, but I aim to avoid judging any of them as “stupid”. As I hope you, my smart readers, will avoid as well. Go ahead and school me if you will, but please be nice about it.

I’m a student, folks, and my purpose in that role is to ask questions so that I can learn. If through my posing, pondering, and answering them, I can manage to enlighten any of you out there along the way, all the better.

***Featured image courtesy of https://www.pngitem.com/so/question-marks/

Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Planning, Positivity, Psychology, Self Improvement

Happiness is Having Something to Look Forward to, Part 2

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I published a blog post almost 5 years ago in which I wrote about happiness being having something to look forward to.

The reason I’m revisiting this concept now is because it still feels relevant to me. I also believe it could help you.

Here’s a simple exercise I invite you to do right now. Or, if your time is limited today, maybe it’s something you could ponder for a bit and circle back to later.

Take a pen and paper and write down the following question: what am I looking forward to?

I caution you to not overthink this question. Ironic, coming from me, as I have a tendency to overthink things, sometimes to the extreme. Sometimes to the point where I have to pivot in my mind and shake things off. Turn my attention to something completely different or just journal like a madwoman to release the anxiety.

Anyway, the point is to keep it simple. Use the K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Sister-or Sailor, or Son, or Silly-whatever works for you).

Simple like the image that inspired me to write the original post.

“Looking forward” in our minds, I think, releases endorphins and puts us in a frame of mind of excited anticipation. It can help us to get on with it and do what it is we need to do to prepare for the event, whatever it may be. It gets us to look up, towards the future, and not down, where the past is collecting dust.

A crucial part to having something to look forward to, cultivating the positive feelings that it engenders, is planning. It’s taking charge of what we want to do and coming up with a plan to make it happen.

As Dr. Alex Lickerman says in a Psychology Today article I read, “when I’ve looked for the difference between my happy days and my unhappy days, I’ve noticed that the former are frequently filled with thoughts about something I look forward to, while the latter are practically empty of them”.

Think about that for a minute. Can you relate?

Dr. Lickerman further states in this article “anticipatory pleasure is so important to my sense of well-being, in fact, that I now plan my life in such a way that I almost always have something to look forward to”.

As a planner and an optimist, this statement from Dr. Lickerman reflects how I’ve been living my life.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to in this moment: Taking myself out tomorrow for a little shopping in the sweet little town 15 minutes away from me. The temps have gone up, much of the snow has melted, and I feel joyful at the thought of driving the country roads to get there with my music cranked up and finding some treasures to zhuzh up my outdoor (and possibly indoor) space.

Here’s a song to get you motivated, if you need to find something to look forward to in the days ahead. Because “yesterday’s gone”.

Ambition, Blogging, GenX, Imagination, Music, Positivity, Self Help, Self Improvement

What Fascinates You?

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As a Gen X er, the 1980’s was the decade that saw me through the ages of 13 through 22. Music was a huge part of that experience for me. Much of that time, though, I was listening to songs and artists from the 1970’s. The music of the 1970’s sounded better to my ears, and still does.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a few favorite songs that were put out in the 80’s.

One, in particular, has my attention again. On account of self-help maven Martha Beck.

It’s the song “Fascination” by The Human League.

Back to Martha Beck.

For years now, I’ve been really into self-help books, as well as articles written by Martha and the like. Late in 2022, I saw an ad online for a free self-help “Master Class” led by Ms. Beck. I signed up for it and am currently 40 minutes into it (it’s an hour long and I’m not a dummy, I know it’s free so that I can be bombarded with pleas in my email box to sign up for costly self-help courses).

Anyway. I think of myself as a DIY’er when it comes to self help books and courses. From these, I take a little bit of this and a little bit of that, leaning into the nuggets that speak to me.

What caught my attention so far in this course is Martha’s idea of what the word “fascination” means and the importance it holds for finding your path in life. How I see it is that the “path” = my livelihood.

She describes fascination as “attention without effort”. That makes a lot of sense, don’t you think?

We all have those things that we can just focus on and marinate in without even trying, right? Topics, activities, concepts, fields of study.

I’ve got myself a draft folder in which I’ve started a list of the things that fascinate me. It’s going to be a long list that will evolve over time. I think it’ll be worth the effort. Especially if I do something with it afterwards.

What would be on your list of “fascinations”?

Blogging about things that fascinate me is a no-brainer. It’s an opportunity to fly my “freak flag” so to speak; to explore and experiment.

Other potential actions I could take based on pursuing that which fascinates me also fascinates me. Maybe if I follow those threads of fascination, I will unlock a skill or talent I didn’t know I had which will lead to new career opportunities. Or maybe it’ll simply provide me with some solid writing fodder.

As long I’m learning something new, it’s all good.

If you didn’t want to check out the video I shared here, let me tell you what resonated for me, as I gave my shoulders a workout while chair dancing to this song just now.

That would be these lyrics: “just looking for a new direction, in an old familar way, the forming of a new connection, to study or to play”. It’s a good way of describing what I’m trying to do here on this blog in 2023.

And you? Any song lyrics that speak to you, particularly in your blogging life?

Please share in the comments!

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Creative Writing, Employment, Humor, Self Improvement

Ambition, Anxiety, and 2023

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I am just one of a multitude of personal bloggers out there in the world. But I think what makes me unique is that I’m saddled with a complex that comedian Michelle Wolf is at least partially responsible for.

During a stand up special I watched a while back, she said something to the effect of “So you tell me you have a blog, right?”. She makes a weird face, then continues with “Oh, that’s cute. You write stuff about yourself and your life that nobody wants to read but you put it out there anyway? Good for you!” This, from my recollection, was said with a big fat smirk on her cute little curly headed face.

Don’t get me a wrong-I got over her chipmunk-ey voice enough to enjoy her comedy. She has that quality that, to me, marks a truly great comedian: she pushes boundaries and speaks uncomfortable truths. And I applaud her sensible yet hip footwear choices.

But…..ouch! I resemble her remarks.

I am curious though; can anyone else relate to the feeling of being called out like this? Totally rational as it was not a one on one conversation I had with Ms. Wolf here, right? Like being seen for who you are, but not in a good way, making you want to immediately crawl back into the hole of complete social obscurity?

If this sounds like you, please share your stories in the comments. Commiserating with you all is a huge perk for me as a blogger.

Moving on (oblivious of course to the possibility that I’m simply proving Michelle Wolf right).

I blogged in this space pretty sporadically in 2022. I blogged about the massive changes the year brought for me and my family, some aspects getting more emphasis than others. This year, I’ve shared my political opinions. I’ve talked about my grandson in this space.

For those of you who have read what I wrote in this space in 2022 and chose to come back and read more and/or gave me a follow, I thank you so very much for that. It’s appreciated.

2023 is now upon us.

I’ve got a lot of ambition when it comes to blogging and writing. I am certain that if I don’t step it up now, I won’t ever get to wherever it is that I’m supposed to be as a creative writing enthusiast.

So, 2023 is the year in which I step things up.

Baby steps, of course. But like, a ton of them.

Step #1 is to publish blog posts more frequently.

Leaning into learning is what I’ll be doing in the new year, in tandem with blogging. Gobbling up more self-help books. Taking online courses and following threads that pique my curiosity. Improving my photography skills. Gaining more knowledge about child psychology. Stuff like that. Learning about the things that I can use for good, if that makes sense.

I’ve also got a plan to improve my health by sharpening my culinary skills and keeping a food diary. I will be pursuing paid employment in 2023 as well, because at 55 I’m not interested in retiring yet. Exploring all employment options (self, at home, in a store or a non-profit) and blogging about it along the way will be happening.

The caveat for me is that going into 2023, I will continue watching my grandson most weekday afternoons. To make any headway on these plans of mine, I need to summon a great amount of self-discipline. My days will need to become more structured. I do have a plan for that. It starts with having a better sleep schedule and a set time for blogging related stuff every day.

2023 feels bright and shiny to me right now. That’s probably due to my optimistic nature. I am self-aware enough though to know the shine of the new year will fade over time. Bumps in the road will happen, as they do. I (and you) ought to remain nimble to overcome and adjust.

I realize this post was a lot. If you’re still reading this, well, thanks Pal.

You are the best.

**pic of Michelle Wolf wearing cool shoes courtesy of https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/michelle_wolf_joke_show**

**HNY image courtesy of https://www.rd.com/article/new-year-wishes/**