Category Archives: Adult children

Adult children, America, Anger, Community, Compassion, Faith, Life, Minnesconsin, Protests, Revolution

Bearing Witness in These Times

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As a life-long conflict avoider, it’s unnerving for me to put myself in a position where it’s likely others will disagree with me. I’m a people-pleaser. I never want to rock the boat.

This is not me trying to get an “atta, girl” from you, my patient readers and friends, but this past Sunday, Mr. NOA and I participated in a rally to protest the infiltration of federal ICE agents in Minneapolis. There are many people, some whom I know and love, who don’t “get” why I participate in these things. And truthfully, I don’t actually want to participate in these rallies and protests. Because I don’t want there to be a reason in this country, the “land of the free”, to have to do so in the first place.

Yet I must bear witness.

When the first Trump administration began separating children from their parents at the southern border of Mexico, and putting these children into detention facilities (many are still there, a truly disgusting fact), I began praying that these kids would be reunited with their families again, ASAP. I imagined my daughter at the time, who was in her mid-twenties, a mom to our beautiful grandson, and in a very challenging marital situation. I imagined her being in a foreign country where she and her son’s life was in danger due to rampant violence by members of a drug cartel. How I would support her fleeing that country to come to America where she and her son could be safe. And then when they got across the border, after a harrowing journey, feeling weak and cold and hungry-having my grandson taken from her and put in a detention facility where he knows noone and there is nobody who can tell him when (or if) his mom was coming to get him. The cruelty is astounding to me. It’s un-American, inhumane, and it fills me with rage.

The murder of Renee Good, a mother of three, only 4 years older than my daughter, by an ICE officer in Minneapolis, fills me with rage and breaks my heart at the same time. To add insult to injury, the responses of some of my fellow Americans to this event have been quite disappointing. The amount of folks driving by as we waved and held signs opposing this administration and it’s American Gestapo, ICE, who flipped us the bird, was shocking to me. It did give us a little satisfaction, however, when a cop pulled over a speeding driver who was clearly attempting to use his speed and truck tires to splash slop on us on that bridge connecting Wisconsin to Minnesota last Sunday. The comment sections on social media regarding this crime was largely disappointing as well. People stating their belief that Renee Good was attempting to run over the ICE officer as she turned her SUV’s tires to the right, away from the officer. People believing she got what she had coming to her. Seriously? Like, the officer couldn’t have simply shot out her tires to stop her from using her vehicle as a weapon? It makes no sense.

May the Universe bless Minneapolis, and may we summon our better angels as a collective. May there be justice for Renee. I know in my heart that we can do better than this.

Adult children, Blogging, Clarity, Dogs, Grandparenting, Intentionality, Lifestyle, Love, Simplicity

Perfect Timing

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Daily writing prompt
What brings you peace?
View all responses

Hey, blogger friends, regular friends, and creatives behind the scenes at WordPress 🙂

The timing of this writing prompt is weirdly perfect for me on this calm Tuesday morning here in Minnesconsin.

I haven’t published a blog post in a couple of weeks or so for a million good reasons, none of which are that I haven’t wanted to.

But right now, in this moment, I feel at peace. The house is quiet, the doggies are too (which is liable to change any second now).

The only sound I’m hearing this morning is the soft snoring of the little babe right next to me.

Yes, I’m watching our 6-week-old grandbaby Levi today while his Mommy goes to work (her second day back after maternity leave) and his Daddy attends to some important personal business until later this afternoon.

Watching him is absolutely mesmerizing to me. Those little fluttering eyelids and occasional smiles as he enjoys his sweet baby dreams. The little bit of drool escaping his perfect little rosebud lips. Those soft cheeks that are getting chubbier by the day.

Any thoughts I had upon waking this morning about what needs to get done on my ever-evolving “to-do” list have evaporated. This babe with spit bubbles forming on his lips is all that matters right now, and I’m going to soak up this beautiful peace this morning and let things be.

Adult children, Anxiety, Baking, Christmas, Humor, Joy

Christmas Cookies and Not Sweating the Small Stuff

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As I write this, it’s 1 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon and I’m in the Christmas cookie zone, relaxing to instrumental Christmas music on my Google Nest.

But here’s where my head was the Sunday before last. Call it a little peek into my “Christmas brain”, if you will:

I need to start somewhere, so I’ll start with the cookie planning:

I would like to make:

  • Spritz
  • Cherry Almond cookies from last year
  • Santa’s whiskers
  • PB Truffles
  • Snickerdoodles
  • Chocolate covered pretzel rods

And maybe another kind of two. Oh, the cherry snowballs for sure! I’ve got six days designated on our calendar to get this done.

Then there’s the decorating. I am especially psyched for this endeavor.

But my beautiful daughter is on her way to pick me up for a spontaneous shopping trip and I’m still in my bathrobe. So I gotta split for now.

Same day, just p.m.

Today was great! I enjoyed eating a hearty lunch with my first-born at Barker’s in Hudson. We had fun shopping together. I love that she’s going as the rag doll from the Land of Misfit Toys from Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, for a work photo shoot next week. But it was hard to find the “costume”. She is not worried about it though.

There’s an important difference between the two of us. Good on her. She’s not like me in this way. Had I, at her age, been given a directive to come up with such a costume for a work situation, well..I’d be freaking out. I’d probably still be out there, searching to no avail for all the right pieces to bring that damn dolly to life.

Because it would have mattered to me, then. I would have fretted about the impression I was giving my employer by coming up short on this task, as I would have convinced myself that without a doubt, every one of my co-workers Christmas photo-shoot costume was going to be EPIC.

And it would have been such a misplacement of my mental energy and my time.

I’m glad she’s not like I was. She doesn’t sweat the small stuff, which I have done at a high level of proficiency for the majority of my adult life.

Readers, don’t be surprised if you see more posts than usual from me this month. I’ve got Christmas on the brain and my hope is that unloading it in this space will be a jolly little treat to go with your egg nog.

Fa-la-la-la-la folks!

***Header image courtesy of https://wjbq.com/why-is-dolly-on-the-island-of-misfit-toys-whats-wrong-with-her/***

Adult children, Education, Friendships, Grandparenting, Gratitude, Home, Lifestyle, Positivity, Thanksgiving

8 of Many

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It is just incredible to me that tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. Time has just been chugging along, hasn’t it?

Just to catch you up, because I know lately I’ve been so hit and miss with this blogging thing: I’ve been watching my 8 year old grandson at my house Mon-Fri for several weeks now. Yes, he is not in school and yes, he should be. And yes he will be, eventually.

It’s a long and complicated story that I have shared small bits of on this platform. Bottom line, my grandson has behavioral issues that thus far the school faculty have not been able to successfully manage. Kiddo is now enrolled in a specialized day program for kids like him. While soon he’ll be attending in person (with the goal of him attending regular school in the near future), for now he is doing 3 hours each morning of virtual learning and treatment through this program.

And I am the enforcer. Maybe hall monitor is a better way to put it.

Anyway, I feel like I needed to just get that out there because it’s my current situation; an unexpected challenge. I need no sympathy here. I’m focused on the good, because, simply put, that is what’s helpful to me. To all of us-don’t you think?

What is good for you all right now? What, or who, is it that immediately comes to mind when you read that question? That for what you have geniune gratitude?

Here’s 8 (of many) things I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving:

  1. The time I’m getting to spend in the company of my grandson. Time I didn’t see coming. Listening to him tell jokes and try out different accents. Watching him sled down the little hill in our yard after a recent snowfall.
  2. My dear and thoughtful Hubs, who thoroughly cleaned the refrigerator last weekend without being asked while I was out of town bonding with my sister and 6 of our badass female cousins.
  3. Bonus kids: my daughter’s kind and loving boyfriend and his 3 year old cutie pie.
  4. Our awesome house here in Minnesconsin. The layout, the vibe, the possibilities. The feeling that we will live here for the rest of our lives.
  5. My kids. The maturity I’m seeing as they make their way out of their 20’s. The bonds we’ve developed over time with each other.
  6. Being unemployed. The free time that gives me to shower this house with some love and holiday cheer.
  7. Friendships: the ones we have in our new neighborhood and our dear old friends who we now live closer to and thus get to spend time with more frequently.
  8. Being able to host Thanksgiving at our new house for the in-laws and our daughter, grandson, and bonus kids.

With that, I wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving spent with family and/or friends and stuffing yourselves with all your favorite foods.

Adult children, Balance, Blogging, Changes, Empty Nesting, family, Home, Lifestyle, Planning, Time

Ch Ch Ch Changes, Part Two

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My first ever post on this blog was entitled “Ch Ch Ch Changes”.

I wrote it as a way to introduce myself. To share the major life transitions that led me to where I was in that particular moment of my life: unemployed and living the “empty-nester” life with Hubs in a new state.

As of April 1st of this year I again am unemployed (by choice). Because of all the things that need to be done. Addressed. Thrown out or given away. Packed.

Our move back to Wisconsin is slated for late May/early June. Between now and then, my mental and physical energy will be split between reviewing the past, savoring the present, and planning for the future.

I, along with my family, are in the throes of transition. I am a bit freaked out and searching for the balance in all of this.

Reviewing the past will include playing the “should it stay or should it go” game with all of our worldly possessions and the reminiscing this will bring about. There are countless pictures and assorted memorabilia to go through. You can no doubt expect blog posts to come out of this.

This is a good thing, because I’ve got some catching up to do. I’ve all but ignored my blog for the last couple of months. Case in point: my 5 year blogging anniversary came and went with zero fanfare.

The present: practicing self-compassion and actual mindfulness, which I now realize I’m only beginning to grasp after using it as a buzzword willy nilly in the recent past. Making memories with my daughter and grandson, as these two will not be living with us indefinitely. Come summer 2022, they will most likely be living in their own place again. Spending quality time with Kid #2, who intends to remain in Colorado while the rest of us are moving to Wisconsin.

The future: staying on top of the housing market in the area of Wisconsin we plan to settle in. Finding the house that will suit us best. One on the waterfront, large enough to host friends and family on the regular. Familiarizing myself, via the internet, with the area and getting a feel for the job market there.

Time is of the essence for me right now. I aim to use it wisely so I can avoid being overwhelmed.

Adult children, Anxiety, Blogging, Carole King, Lifestyle, Positivity, Writing

It’s Wednesday and I’m Still Here

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I’m neurotic.

It truly bothers me that last Wednesday I failed to publish a post as per usual. I don’t have any good reason for that other than that I didn’t feel I had anything new or remotely interesting to say about anything really.

Hence the reason you find yourself reading this post today. I was not willing to skip yet another week. The anxiety would be too much. I’ve committed to this blog like I’ve committed to a relationship (which I suppose this is-between me and all of you wonderful, patient readers). I’m determined not to flake out on you guys.

It’s not like I was feeling depressed. Quite the opposite, really. Life has been peachy as of late. Rabbie has been making more and more sales on their online site and is positioned to take Karl the cat and move on out of here. Like soon. As in we’re heading downtown Denver tomorrow actually to view the first new potential pad.

The other kid, despite being unemployed (directly related to the Covid-19 pandemic) is doing well also. She’s enjoying having more time at home, more time to herself. She’s making ends meet thanks to unemployment benefits and actively searching for solid employment. She had an interview recently for a job that she is very excited about. The pay is higher than her previous job and the benefits are quite outstanding.

Our 7 year old grandson is thriving! He’s been in a new school for a couple of months now and for the first time is excited to go to school every day. His mom held a birthday bash for him last month at the local roller skating rink and it was reported to have been quite the fun bash.

Work at the food pantry is going well. My boss and I are continuously procuring food and distributing it to those in need. I scored us a hefty sum via a state sponsored Covid-19 grant and will be procuring even more food over the next several months.

As far as writing for this blog goes, I’ve gone back to writing whatever it is I’m thinking about each morning directly after I hit the shower. Before I allow myself to go down any social media rabbit holes. And I’ve been writing more at night, after work and before supper. Luckily, my family is agreeable to eating supper as late as 7 p.m.

I am working on a new blog post. It’s the kind where I challenge myself to delve into a topic that piques my curiosity. The kind that takes some actual time and effort, unlike this post you are currently reading. The hope is it’ll be ready for publication next Wednesday.

As Bonnie would say to me over the phone after breathlessly telling me all the latest in her world, “that’s my stories..how are you doing?”

Let me leave you with a new little ditty from one of my all time favorite singer-songwriters, Carole King. Can you believe she is 79?

Adult children, Cats, Changes, Employment, Humor, Life, Positivity, Self-Reflection, Time

The Year That Was

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Pardon me for using the most frequently uttered word of 2020 here: but what an unprecedented year this has been. For me, for you, for all of us. All because of a virus, whose name shall not be mentioned because I know we are all sick of hearing it.

I am ready to usher in the new year, as I know we all are.

Beyond (or in some cases because of) this pandemic, plenty of unprecedented things happened in my world the last 12 (or should I say 9?) months:

I unexpectedly lost one job and gained another. Now I’m back to running a food pantry again, a job I never knew I could love so much.

We bought a camper! It was as much as “seizing the moment because we’ve always wanted one and who knows how many moments we have left” as it was “now we have the security of a home on wheels if we need to flee the country”.

I broke my first bone! On account of falling onto the pavement due to a rare combination of poor judgement and general clumsiness. I was fortunate in that the bone healed up pretty darn well after wearing a walking boot for 6 weeks. Who knew that in 2020 I’d gain such an appreciation for wearing two matching shoes?

I learned that sometimes gifts I give to someone can wind up being a gift for myself and both sides of my family as well as my spouses side. Yep, I got Rabbie, that kid of mine who studied history for almost three years at a state university, a subscription to Ancestry.com for Christmas. Now on the daily we are hearing fascinating stories about how my great great great great great great great great Grandmother Mary Chilton came over on the Mayflower. And other stories like how brothers Ira and Samuel Dickenson (Ira being my great great great great Grandfather, on my Dad’s side like Mary), came upon a bear in the woods in 1832 and proceeded to beat it with a cane. Word is their beating of this bear led him to become so docile that he became an exhibit at the zoo.

Don’t be surprised to read more stories of my ancestors adventures as 2021 unfolds.

Then there was the death and resurrection of Karl the cat. Back in November, he came down with a double ear infection. Poor little dude. Shortly thereafter, despite having started antibiotics, he developed pneumonia. Apparently it may be true that cats have 9 lives, because this one actually died on the couch one morning when I was at work. Hubs came to the rescue however and performed mouth to mouth resuscitation on him, inflating his little kitty lungs with enough air to revive him. He was rushed to the pet ER where he spent the night on oxygen. He came back home sassier than before, ready to climb on everything and taunt Radar.

All in all, it wasn’t for me the worst of years I suppose. It surely was an interesting one though. Let’s hope 2021 is interesting too. But in different, better ways, right?

Happy New Year!!

***Header image courtesy of https://cdacmohali.in/goodbye-2020-welcome-2021-images-quotes-wishes-status-whatsapp-dp/

Adult children, Blogging, family, Grandparenting, Home, Life, Respite, September

Respite Sunday

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Happy Sunday (or Saturday or Monday, if you live outside the U.S.)!

I’ve decided just for today I’m taking a break (aka respite) from my Alphabet Soup Challenge.

I wanted to pause for a beat to tell you all that I may skip publishing a time or two in the next couple of weeks, because Eldest and our grandson are coming to visit soon. For a whole week! This is the longest period of time they will have ever been here for. Eldest was furloughed from her job until at least the end of this month due to the slow down in business for her employer thanks to Covid-19.

Despite the fact that our grandson just started 1st grade a few weeks ago (in person) it seemed like the perfect moment to have the two of them come for a visit. This is going to be so much better than when they typically come to see us, in November or May, when the temps are not as pleasant as they are in the beautiful month of September.

So instead of finishing a publishing whatever the next post will be in my “Alphabet Soup Challenge” today, I’m going to give the house a good cleaning, dust off the old Fall/Halloween decor (and set up the new stuff I got yesterday) and decorate the house so it’s all comfy, cozy, and clean for my beloveds.

Please click on the link below to enjoy one of my favorite dancing tunes!

****Header image courtesy of https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/home-is-where-the-heart-is.html

Adult children, Alphabet Soup Challenge, Ambition, Blogging, Employment, Happiness, Honesty, Imagination, Life, Mantronyms, Positivity

Alphabet Soup Challenge: H is For Honesty

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I’ve been accused of being honest “to a fault” by various people throughout my life.

Anyone else out there that has experienced this accusation?

Not the “I’m just being honest” type of honest, mind you. You know, that passive aggressive way in which a person tells you that your new haircut makes you look like Joe Dirt.

For me, it’s more of a not-always-thinking-before-I-speak or my facial expression after a comment you just made gave me away. Because I’m just a terrible liar. Lying doesn’t suit me. I can’t do it to save my life.

What’s nice for me, within this little blog, is that it is a space for me to honestly express what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling. In a controlled sort of way, because after all, I am editor-in-chief and in charge of pressing the “publish” button in these parts.

So let me be honest with you all.

I’m honestly happy with my life right now. And I honestly believe that could change at any second. Because, well, life.

So I’m soaking up the goodness.

I started a new job over two weeks ago now. The reason I was hired is because I have experience running a food pantry and the lovely lady who hired me wants to get one up and running in her non-profit.

I honestly love working there. I love that I have autonomy. I love knowing that I am listened to and supported. I love working with people who work hard. I love that there’s a variety of tasks to do each day and that not every day is a carbon copy of the day before.

I also honestly do not want to jinx it. I want to continue working hard and be honest with myself and my boss and co-workers when I’m struggling. I want to be honest in all my communications with everyone involved. I honestly want to succeed.

That’s honestly all I want to say about my current employment right now. And it’s all I honestly needed to say.

The other subject I want to be honest about is my creative writing via this blog. I sincerely love doing this. I have no illusions (perhaps hope though) that I’m going to hit the “big time” some day as a writer.

Honestly, I’m in this blogging thing for fun. To make friends. To brighten someone’s day at least once in a while. To get things off my chest. To connect. To socialize. To learn. To grow. To improve.

Let me use my favorite “Macronym” right now: KISS. The “Keep it specific, sister” version.

An appetizer in list form of what I honestly want to do and/or write about once I’ve finished my “Alphabet Soup Challenge” follows.

  1. Write a letter to someone I admire. Embrace the fandom. Writing about it later may or may not happen. That’s not the point.
  2. Capture in writing a conversation about the state of the world in this moment with the Millenials in my life. That would be my previously-known-as-spawn aka Kid #2 and Kid#1. Now outed as Rabbie and (just for now) the Eldest.
  3. Interview my 6 year old grandson about life as he knows it.
  4. Continue writing posts about all the “Gems”.

So fellow bloggers-what are the specific topics you honestly want to write about in the near future?

52nd Street was one of the first albums I ever bought. This song has always spoken to me.

***Header image courtesy of http://www.flourishtherapy.co.uk/9-reasons-why-honesty-works/

Adult children, Alphabet Soup Challenge, family, Life, Names, Parenthood, Positivity, Self-Reflection

Alphabet Soup Challenge: N is for Names

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27 years ago, I gave birth to my second child. Hubs and I named “her” Marissa. A lovely name for a lively child.

Approximately 7 years ago, “Marissa”, who had by then come out as queer and non-binary (the queer part was easier to get my head around at first than the non-binary part) announced that they would now be referred to as “Rabbie”.

Say what?! I thought to myself. Why? What’s wrong with “Marissa”? It’s a damn beautiful name, right people?

I told Bonnie over the phone. She “misheard” me and said “Rabbit?” I laughed nervously and told her to think of it as a nickname. I reminded her that Rabbie was romantically attracted to both genders and this was one expression of that (though now I realize it’s much more nuanced). She responded by saying she was going to be praying that “Marissa” found herself a nice boy to fall in love with and marry someday.

My mom never did “get” it. I never held it against her however. Fact of the matter is, I wasn’t necessarily “getting it” back then either.

Hubs and I struggled with this for a good long while. I was offended that the kid was rejecting the name we lovingly chose for them. I felt anxious about how to explain it to others. So many times when talking about how our kids were doing to friends and acquaintances, I found myself referring to “Marissa” as “Rabbie” and got the most confused looks in exchange.

Recent pic of my “Rabs”

But time is an interesting thing. The more I referred to her them as “Rabbie” the more natural it seemed to come to me. The less I felt the need to explain it to myself or others. I even shortened it to “Rabs” when I was speaking to them directly.

I realized over time is that it’s not about me. It’s about the kid not feeling “girly” inside. It’s about them not embracing traditional Americanized gender roles. It’s about the kid expressing their true selves and asserting their independence. It’s about the kid asserting their right to be seen as who they really are, not someone who we as their parents and society at large thinks they should be.

***Header image courtesy of https://locallove.ca/issues/your-guide-to-non-binary-pronouns/#.X1UnmN7YqWw