Category Archives: Blogging

Blogging, Books, Christmas, Humor, Lifestyle, Psychology, Wisdom

Christmas 2023 and Stealth Expectations

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Unsurprisingly, I still have Christmas on the brain.

And today I’m going to spit it all out for your reading pleasure. And it’s Tuesday, I’m off work, and the most important (in my mind) of the holiday-related tasks have been completed for me and mine.

Also, I don’t like feeling like I’ve over-promised and under-delivered to you, my kind-hearted readers, as it’s been about two weeks since I told you that I was going to publish more posts than usual on account of my festive-ness.

Ha! I crack myself up sometimes.

If you have someone you still need to buy a Christmas present for I have a solid recommendation. And since you’ve only 5-6 days in which to make this brilliant purchase, that means you’ll need to get yourself out of the house and shop local (small business local, not your local Wal-Mart. I say this because I personally could not find this particular item when I was there recently).

No time left to order it on Amazon, folks!

Before I reveal my last-minute-perfect-Christmas-present-that-you’ll- get-at-your-local-independent b8#$store, after stopping at your favorite cafe or bistro for a scone or piping hot coffee, let me say this one little thing about this item: it’s a book.

It’s a book in which, on page 43, the author writes about how disappointment, per research, is one of the most frequently experienced emotions, and one that is experienced at a high level of intensity. She goes on to talk about “stealth expectations”: meaning those ideas that come into our heads that we let play out like a mini-movie, which we often foolishly keep secret from everyone around us.

Stealth expectations. Something I’ve often had but never had a term for. It was mind-blowing for me to re-read this section of this book one late night earlier this month. It completely reflects how I’ve been going about life, in particular the holiday season, year after year.

That’s why I’m going to let (Christmas related) things be. If I don’t get around to making those pretzel rods dipped in chocolate, re-purposing those old Christmas cards into works of art with my 9 year old grandson while we sing Christmas Carols and eat cookie dough, if I don’t find the right Christmas-y cocktail to make for our guests…it’s all good.

Now, if I can carry this warning about “stealth expectations” into how I operate into the new year, I think I just might continue to be able to say “it’s all good”.

Ok, now for my perfect Christmas present for any adults still on your list:

“Atlas of the Heart” by Brene Brown. It will teach your recipient so much. That’s a Christmas promise from me to you!

Now, for a little collage of my Christmas decor (the most fun personal holiday task for me) for your viewing pleasure.

Merriest of Holiday Wishes to you and yours this season!

Blogging, Gratitude, Joy, Live Concerts, Music, Wine

A Bottle of White, A Bottle of Red

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Who enjoys their wine?

I do. I mostly prefer a dry white, but OMG sipping a full bodied pinot noir or merlot is an exquisite experience.

I could happily talk more about wine here. When I first began blogging, there were topics of great interest in my mind, ones that I was certain I was going to write about all the live-long day. Food/Drink was one of those. Now, I certainly have written much in this space about my unbridled enthusiasm for cooking and baking, sometimes sharing my best recipes. But that’s not what this post is about, actually.

It’s about how I, along with my beautiful sister-in-law and Mr. None of the Above, got to see two icons-live!-in concert earlier this month: Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks (which I later learned entitled their concert “Two Icons One Night”).

You may (or may not) have read my little piece in this space where I expressed my enthusaism ahead of getting to experience this concert.

I figure “before I forget” (a common phrase for anyone who knows me IRL), especially since my brain right now is all about ChristmasChristmasChristmas, I figured I’d share my impressions of this concert.

It. Was. Awesome!

Stevie Nicks performed first. She sounded great, just like she does on the radio and her albums. She appeared quite dimunitive, and charmed us all with her chattiness between songs. She had such a fast way of speaking, though, I likely didn’t catch it all. She and Billy performed “Stop Draggin’ my Heart Around” as pictures of Tom Petty were displayed on the huge screens. She also performed a cover of Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”, prefacing it with something to the effect of “I don’t care how you vote, but we are in some very hard times in this world right now”.

Stevie performed many of her greatest hits as well, like “Gypsy” and “Gold Dust Woman”. I was amazed by how long they each performed. Her performance was about 1 1/2 hours and Billy’s was well over 2 hours.

I loved that when Billy Joel performed “Zanzibar”, everyone seemed to be singing and swaying along. I don’t believe this was a top 10 hit for him, but it’s always one I’ve loved. I felt such a sense of community, singing off-key alongside this massive crowd. It really fed my soul.

At one point, Billy stood at the microphone and shared that he was feeling anxious about performing the next song, because as he’s gotten older, his voice has gotten deeper. And this song, “An Innocent Man”, has some very important high notes. He nailed it!

I was, of course, along with everyone else in the crowd, ecstatic when Billy performed “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”. It was brilliant!

We also got treated to a cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love”, performed by Billy’s bandmate, Mike DelGuidice. As a Zeppelin fan, I thought this was amazing.

This whole experience was thrilling for me. I’m so grateful I got to experience it. Cheers to these iconic American treasures!

Blogging, Facebook, Lifestyle, Time Management, Work Life Balance

Lamentations and Yaks on a Walk

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I’ve given myself an hour to come up with a blog post for this week.

Please forgive the weird title I gave this blog post. It can be such a challenge to come up with these sometimes. But, I do promise at the end of this post you will see a picture of yaks out for a walk. Though my hope, as always, is that you will read this entire post first.

Let me start by saying that I recognize the frequency of my blog posts has gone down. I didn’t publish anything last week (or the week before).

Sorry about that, my readers. I have no intention of abandoning this blog of mine, in case you wondered.

I knew when I started working again that it was likely my blog would suffer. I just don’t have as much free time as I used to have, when I was (mostly) basking in the glory of full-time domesticity here in Minnesconsin.

I’m completely accepting of that fact. Having so much time to myself was getting old. Life in general was becoming sort of dull.

This part-time job I now have is a great fit for me. I appreciate having my weekends off to spend with Mr. None of the Above, Radar, and the rest of the family. I’ve still got two week days to myself, since I work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

It’s how I’m spending my Tuesdays and Thursdays that has me frustrated-with myself. I make my personal “to do” lists on these days and then wind up spending half my time looking at Facebook reels (which reminds me of that potato chip commercial that says “you can’t stop at just one”). Or I decide I have enough time to add another thing or two to my list, which then leads to a thing or two that was originally on the list not getting done.

Side note: On one of the Facebook reels I watched recently, a woman was emphatic that everyone had to try this delicious low-carb snack “hack”. She claimed that she ate it daily for months on end because she was “obsessed!”. I tried it, and she was right, though I can’t imagine eating anything every single day for months. So, there is some value in my going down that Facebook reel rabbit hole 🙂

I just want more time, people!! Is that too much to ask?

Yes, it most certainly is. These are first-world problems I am lamenting about today.

I know, I know, it’s about prioritizing. Staying on task. Mentally letting things go and trusting that everything will be alright.

So that’s my story for the week. Nothing new, nothing exciting. Just adjusting to the new reality I suppose.

And now, for the yaks on a walk picture.

Yaks taking a stroll with their owners in Amery, WI last weekend. I have so many questions!

***Header image courtesy of me. Taken of the sunset through our picture window earlier this month***

Adventure, Blogging, Geography, Lifestyle, Travel, Vision Boards

The Big D, Travel, and Me

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The search for part-time work here in Minnesconsin has begun in earnest for me. Part of the search involved me going through every nook and cranny of this house to find my college transcripts, per a prospective employer’s request.

Ugh. I scoured through boxes and file cabinets all for naught. The job opening was taken down before I got a chance to request my transcripts from my alma mater.

What would be found in my college transcripts, because I remember and I’m not proud of it, is the “D” I got in Geography my freshman year.

It’s curious, I think, as a person who’s always been enthusiastic about travel, that this was my worst subject in college. I would have hoped that my interest in travel would have pushed me to do better in this course. Yet, my near-failure of this course may just be how I’m wired. I recently learned from my sister that she also stinks at Geography. We both also have no sense of direction. GPS was a Godsend for people like us.

Anyway, this all got me thinking more about travel. For so long I’ve been telling everyone I know and people I just met how much I want to visit Europe. England to begin with, as I’ve got a niece who lives there with her husband and kids and I know she’d love to show us the sites. She’s currently hosting her niece who flew in after graduating from high school in Minnesota (what kid wouldn’t love to have an auntie that cool?). Yet, at the moment, it doesn’t appear that travel to Europe is going to happen for us in the foreseeable future. However, there’s no doubt in my mind that it will happen at some point.

However, there are many locations within the U.S. that I’ve never seen before. Places Hubs hasn’t been to either. As domestic travel generally is less costly and requires less time off work, due to the distance differences, I think it’s time for us to consider where exactly we would want to go and what we’d want to see when we get there.

What places would you like to visit in the U.S. someday?

Off the top of my head, I can tell you that I would like to visit the following places in the U.S. (in no particular order):

  • Austin, TX (specifically to check out the art scene and Austin City Limits)
  • Cleveland, OH (Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, people!)
  • North Carolina. A friend and sorority sister from college lives there and it seems lovely.
  • New York City (to be in the audience of SNL, see Times Square, Broadway, and more)

I think it’s time for me to assemble that puzzle I bought earlier this summer of the U.S. map. That’ll inspire me even more, giving me more ideas of places I want to visit. There are 50 states, and I’ve only visited 18 of them.

And don’t let me forget my most asinine hifalutin outlandish lifelong travel dream of the two of us getting ourselves an RV and driving through all 50 states. At a sort of leisurely pace. Yes, outlandish. But what an adventure too, right? But. Age.

But I digress, as one does at 56, perhaps. Though probably it’s just me.

Yet, taking it down to an elemental level, we’ve still only lived here for a year. There’s a shitload of places we haven’t ever been to within just a 1-2 hour drive from home.

My goal is to start rectifying that.

Once I hit the publish button on this post, I will be starting a list. It will include all of the places around these parts which I’ve not yet visited. Then, one by one, I’ll visit them. Heck, maybe I’ll even find some images of these places and slap them on a vision board for reference.

Then I will work on that U.S. map puzzle and come up with a new list.

Here’s a fun little video about travel and adventure from my youth:

And the song that inspired the title of this blog post:

***Header image of Cascade Falls courtesy of https://www.startribune.com/daytrip-osceola-wis/322524331/#4

Blogging, Curiosity, Grandparenting, Humor, Self-Reflection, Time Management, Uncategorized

Wrapping Things Up and Circling Back

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Do you remember the series on this blog entitled “I Have Questions” that I started about six blog posts ago?

Well, I never officially wrapped it up. I took some detours for a bit and lost the plot.

Perhaps I’m taking myself too seriously, but closing out this series today will bring me some peace of mind. I’m hoping that some of what I’m about to spew resonates with you.

But first, I need to circle back. I want you to know that the inspiration for the “I Have Questions” series was in the form of my 9-year-old grandson. If you’ve been following my blog for a bit, you’ll recall that there was a 4 month period of time during which my daughter and grandson lived with us in Colorado. A true highlight of this time was when my grandson would, out of the blue, look at me with his big brown eyes and pretty eyelashes and say “Grandma, I have a question”.

I captured some of those “I have a question” stories in a draft folder, intending to share them on this blog. Now seems like the right time to share them.

Once, I was in the shower as he was supposed to be getting ready for school. I heard a knock on the door. I ask “Who’s there?” (knowing it’s him). No response. A couple of minutes later, another knock. He says, opening the door, “I have a question”. I ask what it is. “Is it ok if I go to the doctor before school today?” he asks. I ask him why he needs to go to the doctor. He says it’s because he has a “hole in his cheek”. I ask how he got a hole in his cheek. He says it’s because he used Grandpa’s razor on it and cut it. I said “Wow, you must be bleeding like crazy”. I then stick my wet head out of the shower to find him sitting on the toilet with his hand covering his cheek. He tells me he can’t remove his hand because “blood will gush out”. I told him to get out of the bathroom and get to school. He complied.

Don’t worry, folks, he did not have a hole in his cheek. Just a minuscule knick. This kid has a flair for the dramatic.

Another one: “I have a question. What comes before Tuesday?” Me: “Monday”. Him: “Hmm”. I have no idea what that was about.

A more recent one: “I have a question. What’s a virgin?” (this was in response to him seeing an ad for “Hocus Pocus 2” after having seen the original). As I hemmed and hawed about how to respond, Hubs piped up with “It’s what they call someone who’s never done something before”.

Genius!

Now back to finishing what I started.

If I had to tell you one thing about myself that I dislike, it’d be that I start projects that I don’t finish. And I’m feeling sick and tired of it.

There are multiple projects I have started, particularly in the last year or two, which remain unfinished. I’m getting to work behind the scenes on finishing at least some of them. Some are arts and crafts related. Some are home improvement-related, and others are creative writing-related.

I started this series without thinking it through, and after a couple of posts I started feeling like I pigeon-holed myself. It was too broad. I neglected to set any parameters whatsoever when I came up with the idea of starting this series. I think it’s linked to the fact that I have few limits on what questions I want to ask: of myself, others, or the universe.

But, hey, I’ve always viewed my blogging endeavor as an experiment. Trying a series was part of this experiment. I’m very much not wording this right, but you (bloggers) know how there’s an option for topics on the right-hand side of your “blog post in progress”, which includes the word “uncategorized”? I’m caught between feeling like I should embrace that and questioning if it’s serving me.

Serious question for other personal bloggers reading this: Can you relate to the “uncategorized” label? If so, how?

Ok, so clearly I do still have questions.

Just not a series about them any longer.

The song in my head as I wrap up this blog post:

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

***Featured image courtesy of https://quotefancy.com/quote/1644669/Laura-Day-Endings-are-beginnings-if-we-allow-them-to-be

Blogging, Community, Girlfriends, Humor, Lifestyle, Money, Positivity

Falling Short and Moving On

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I do not want this blog post to be a pity party. I am not going to wallow whatsoever. Everything is fine. I’m ready to move on.

Here’s the thing: my blog posts have not been terribly consistent. I skipped publishing last week because of my garage sale. I just did not have the time or the energy to come up with a blog post.

So, I fell short. And not only with blogging.

I told the gal on the phone when I was placing an ad in our local free “shopper” publication that “hopefully I’ll make more than” the cost of the ad. Well, I did that. Just not by much.

As they say, “The joke’s on me”.

My goal going into this garage sale was to make myself some money. I looked upon it as a personal fundraiser. Yet, I fell short.

No matter. Seriously. I benefitted from having this garage sale in other ways. More important than cold hard cash.

Like the fun “girl time” I had in the garage the night before with my neighbor and my sister-in-law. We enjoyed margaritas as we chatted and laughed, pricing stuff late into the night.

During the two-day sale, I had lots of interactions with other neighbors as well, and I learned a few things about the lake and our little neighborhood.

SIL and I re-purposed the crappy old stool one of our neighbors put out on the road the day before.

We giggled along with the kiddos and their parents that came in when the kids discovered my “Badass” (from the Jen Sincero book which I love) buzzer. You hit it once and it says (in Jen’s voice) “You can do eeet!”. Hit it again and it says “Do what you love!”. A third hit exclaims”Feed fear a suck-it sandwich!”, a fourth hit gets you “You create your reality!”, then these goofy (yet worthy) affirmations conclude with “You’re a badass!”

Yes, in this process I inadvertently taught my “bonus” grandson (daughter’s boyfriend’s 3-year-old) a naughty word. Oops.

The buzzer didn’t sell. I think I’m going to keep it. I suspect it will come in handy someday.

I also came up with another idea: to sell my stuff on Facebook Marketplace. There’s still quite a bit of stuff left, obviously, and selling it this way seems much easier than my previous method. Additionally, being the student that I am, I am eager to learn new-to-me social media skills.

Now it’s time to share the most appropriate song for the state I’m in after this experience. It’s “the worst song ever” per my 9 year-old-grandson.

Ambition, Anxiety, Blogging, Curiosity, Fear, Irony, Overthinking, Self-Reflection, SocialAnxiety

This Time I Have a Question For You

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Why do you blog?

Let me explain where this question comes from.

My blogging anxiety these days is hitting an all-time high. I started a series, here, the 4th installment of what you are reading now, entitled “I Have Questions”. I’m terrible at promoting myself but I know it’s part of the deal if I want to grow my following and make something more of this blogging thing. In that spirit, here’s the first, second, and third post in my series.

I fear I may have inadvertently set myself up for failure by starting this series. It came from a good and curious place, but I didn’t think it through. Questions? We all have questions, right? What those questions are can’t be forced, which is what I’ve been struggling with. Which I think is ridiculous.

I published a post in March of 2021, when I was working still. It was about why I blog. And I missed some things in that post. I didn’t go deep enough.

It’s still true that I blog for the connections I make and the things I learn along the way in the blogosphere. And yes, I still blog because the feedback I often get is validating and gives me warm fuzzies.

I now have more followers than I did then so it seemed right to me to ponder the question again, with the hope that you will all join in. Posing this question now also gives me an opportunity to tell you all, from my heart, why I have kept this up.

The primary reason I blog, or more specifically, write, is because it’s much more comfortable for me to find the words and write them out than it is for me to find the words and use my voice to speak them out loud. Especially when I have a lot to say, which you all know I do.

When I was younger and had an argument with someone, often I’d be so upset that all I could do was cry. I couldn’t form the words or turn off the tears easily. So I would grab a notebook and write it all out. Sometimes I’d craft it into a letter that I’d give to the person who had upset me so. Often the act of writing it down had to be enough because I believed sharing it with them would not be welcome or understood.

While I love being around people and having meaningful conversations, it gives me a lot of anxiety. I feel embarrassed if others eyes are on me, which results in me tripping over or mispronouncing words, or I freeze mid-sentence and lose whatever train of thought I was riding on. Writing is easier. No one is looking at me while I do it, waiting for me to get to the damn point already.

I recognize the irony here, however. The irony of being so self-conscious when conversing with others that I don’t show up as well as I want to; yet here I am, telling so much of my business on the internet where literally anyone can see it. And judge me.

Maybe I’m crazy. Probably. Because I’m sticking with the blogging thing, including my “I Have Questions” series.

It still feels right to me.

So, again, I ask: why do you blog?

Blogging, Creative Writing, Curiosity, Education, Self Improvement

A Question about Questions

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What do you think: Is there such a thing as a “stupid” question?

Any answer you might give to this question is going to be subjective.

Here’s mine: Yes, but…

Such as “but it’s a matter of opinion” or “but it’s better to ask a stupid question than to pretend you know the answer”.

I mean, technically and subjectively, stupid questions do exist. Because stupid people exist.

I’m going to resist the temptation I have to be sarcastic and come up with examples of stupid questions here.

Question-askers ought to be encouraged. Nobody should feel they can’t ask questions in any given situation. Questions lead to answers, and answers fill up our tanks of knowledge. Isn’t that what we all want in this life, to gain knowledge?

What one thinks is a stupid question, another is seeking the answer. It may not just be the question-asker; it could be one or more people within earshot of the question. It is both unhelpful and unkind to share our opinion with the asker that the question is stupid. It doesn’t move things forward and it doesn’t engender trust in the person being asked the question.

It shuts curiosity down.

I will stick with the technically incorrect yet kinder, gentler school of thought that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” as I believe my opinion on the intelligence of a question anyone asks of me is much less important than respecting others and fostering meaningful, loving, and trusting relationships.

Simple as that.

Now, the questions I ask in this series (which began with this post) may be considered silly or odd, but I aim to avoid judging any of them as “stupid”. As I hope you, my smart readers, will avoid as well. Go ahead and school me if you will, but please be nice about it.

I’m a student, folks, and my purpose in that role is to ask questions so that I can learn. If through my posing, pondering, and answering them, I can manage to enlighten any of you out there along the way, all the better.

***Featured image courtesy of https://www.pngitem.com/so/question-marks/

Blogging, Creative Writing, Curiosity, Education, Google, Humor, Words

I Have Questions

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This post is about declaring that I am a student.

Not a “student of life”. That’s trite.

Now, I am a student of a lot of things. So many that I need to start narrowing it down, or I’m about to learn a little about a lot of things.

And that will make my brain hurt. No point in opening myself up to that.

As a student, the most important thing is to maintain your curiosity. That’s why I’m starting what might be a series on this blog here with just one question.

And today, I’m an English major. Or a student of high school English. You decide.

Gotta start somewhere, right?

Now, onto my question.

I’ve been hemming and hawing about “honing in vs. homing in” for the past several days. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It was that or “Hemming and Hawing about Honing In vs. Homing In” as the title of this blog post.

Is it “honing in” or “homing in”? I’ve seen it both ways in different publications and I can’t tell which is right. I’ve always thought it was “honing in”.

Excuse me while I google that.

Aren’t we so spoiled that whenever we have a question we can just “google” it?

First thing I found when I searched Google:

From prowritingaid.com: “Home in and hone in are commonly confused phrases which both refer to narrowing in on a particular topic. Home in means to locate and move toward something. Hone in means to focus on something.“

Not necessarily helpful.

From masterclass.com: “Home in is more acceptable and means to direct on a target. The phrasal verb derives from the 19th-century use of homing pigeons, but it resurged in the 20th century to refer to missiles that home in on their targets. It’s also commonly used metaphorically, where to home in on something is to focus on and make progress toward it.”

An image of a Homing Pigeon for reference

From grammarist.com: “The definition of hone is to sharpen an object or a skill. You can hone a blade, but you can also hone your negotiation skills or cooking skills.”.

And, this: “So, the main difference between “hone in” and “home in” lies in the definition of their first words. Some sentences can use both phrases, but the meaning won’t be the same.”

Hmm…something to ponder for a bit I suppose.

So neither one is right or wrong; they are two separate phrases. I still am unsure that I have a clear understanding of what the differences are.

And I think when it comes to my writing/blogging pursuits, both phrases could be used.

I may not get this right (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong-remember I’m a student!) but, in relation to this blog post, a true statement using these two phrases, would be this:

I homed in on what question I wanted to start this series with and in the process of writing this blog post, I have honed in on the difference between “home in and hone in”.

I think anyway.

Fellow English students, what’s your take on these two similar, yet apparently different phrases?

Anxiety, Blogging, Fashion, Lifestyle, Music, Planning, Positivity

Leaning Into Spring Organizing

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Yesterday went differently than I intended. I really am ok with that. I actually enjoyed myself.

I had mistakenly believed that I needed 1 1/2 hours, max, to put away the winteriest clothes in my closet. I didn’t think about it beyond that.

So, surprisingly (not), it took me upwards of 4 hours.

Because it turns out that I still possessed a buttload of Spring and Summer, mostly recycled (approximately70% of which I purchased at thrift stores) garments.

You know, items that I can start wearing relatively soon. It made no sense to only pull out my winter sweaters and heavy long pants and put them away. After all, the Spring/Summer wardrobe was taking up room in bins and old suitcases stored in one of our basement closets.

Taking those lighter, happy-hued pieces out of the bins was necessary to have room for the winter stuff. And, clothes horse that I am, I will no doubt be schlepping myself to a local thrift store before too long.

I’m kind of addicted to them. Thrifting makes me happy.

Inspired by the still-quite-chilly-out there-yet-the-grass-is-green, the sky is blue, and the sun is shining vibe, I leaned into the task. I got some exercise by going up and down the basement stairs like a dozen times. I listened to music, which I streamed on my ‘lil Nest. It was a chill, all-Current from MPR kinda afternoon.

Of course, I tried a lot of items on for size. Fortunately, much of it still fit. That which didn’t or that which no longer held any appeal to me, I tossed to the side. To sell in my garage sale in June.

My intention when I woke up yesterday morning, in addition to putting away those winter clothes, was to spend time working on my next blog post. Behind the scenes here these last few weeks, I’ve been writing a lot.

However, the anxiety about what specifically I was going to blog about this week got in my way. Or maybe I let it get in my way. We all have ways we sabotage ourselves, right?

Anyway. Yesterday, the simple act of cleaning out and organizing my wardrobe was good for me. I cleared my head, made progress and got myself pumped up for all that awaits me once Spring starts “springing”.

An array of veggies Hubs got started for our gardens