Category Archives: Lifestyle

Lifestyle, Mental Health, Relaxation, Self Compassion, Self-Care, Storytelling

Massages for Self-Care: Yay or Nay?

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Personally, I say a big fat “Yay!” when it comes to getting a full body massage.

In fact, I just had one the other day. I won’t have another one for probably three months, however, as my talented and very pregnant massage therapist will be on maternity leave for a while. I’m not planning on finding a substitute for her either, because I believe it’s unlikely I’ll find anyone as good as her and heck, it might be nice to save myself a little bit of money.

I started getting massages on a regular basis probably 12 years ago. Mr. NOA and I would pay for the lovely Anna to give us deep tissue massages every 2 weeks or so. She was so good at her job. She was friendly and easy to talk to as well. I would often spend most of the massage chatting with her about the trials and tribulations of parenting, and my work life.

I had such a good connection with her that I was comfortable enough to ask her a question that had been simmering in my head since she started giving me regular massages. I asked her if clients ever farted while enjoying her massages. She replied that they most certainly did and it didn’t faze her at all. She told a story about a male client who often would fall completely asleep on her table and let ‘er rip. She laughed as she told me this and assured me she would not be offended if I had to release some gas myself during my sessions with her.

When I get massages from my current massage therapist, we typically chat for the first few minutes about the weather or what we’ve been up to since my last massage. After that, I zip my lips and just let my body melt beneath her heavenly (and suprisingly strong) hands.

It took me a few sessions with her for me to feel comfortable not being chatty the whole time. It begs the question for those of you reading this today who also are fans of massage therapy: do you feel compelled to chat with your massage therapist when they’re working on you? Or are you more of a “melter” as I have become?

I remember a client I had, back when I was a social worker, who had MS (the relapsing- remitting kind). He got regular massages. It seemed to help him quite a bit. I always believed that, due to him being anti-social and paranoid, his massage therapist was likely the only other human who laid their hands on him, like ever. He lived alone, had few friends and generally did not seem to like people. This always struck me as heartbreaking. I think we often undervalue the power of human touch.

I’ve been in therapy for a few months now (the mental health variety). Recently, my therapist asked me a question I don’t think any other person has ever asked me: what are you doing for self-care? It caught me off guard, and all I could manage was to say that writing is my primary mode of self-care. Not writing just to post in this blog of mine, but writing for just me. It helps me sort through what I’m thinking and feeling and it often gives me needed perspective.

But that’s not all I do for self-care, obviously. The massages I get are deeply relaxing and stress-reducing. Petting and talking to my good boy Radar is a form of self-care. Spending time in the sunshine is a form of self-care for me. Writing a to-do list and checking things off as I go is self-care for me. It give me a sense of accomplishment; a little boost.

Whether or not you, my readers, enjoy massage therapy as a form of self-care, I’d love to read any comments you’d like to share about what specifically you do that falls under the self-care umbrella.

As always, I am ending this blog post with a song. This one is not only gorgeous but fitting for the relaxing and contemplative vibes I experience when I’m on that massage table.

Gratitude, Lifestyle, Minnesconsin, Photography, Summer

It’s Sunday and I’m Still Here-Where Are You?

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So.

How is YOUR summer going thus far?

Have you been able to enjoy the outdoors in whatever way you prefer?

Have you taken at least a little bit of time to rest and rejuvinate?

My answers to these questions would be thus:

Fantastic. Busy, but I hate that word because it connotes that I’m in some way special, important, “above it all”. Let’s just say that my social calendar is fuller than usual these days. This is not a complaint. Nor is it a “brag”.

Spending time outdoors for me this summer has been hit and miss. Largely because of all the rain we’ve been getting here in Minnesconsin. But today is Sunday and we’ve got a lovely family get-together planned at my in-laws on this sunny, blue-sky, calm wind day so outdoor time with the people I love so much is happening.

I’m going to do something a little weird here and pause my train of thought for a musical interlude. This is a wonderfully written and very 60’s groove-ily performed piece of music, IMHO.

I wouldn’t say that I’ve taken much time to rest and rejuvinate this summer. Again, not a complaint nor a “brag”. But, I would add the word “yet” to my answer. Mr. NOA thankfully has completed a years-long work project as of last week and he’s taken several days off starting this month and through the end of September. For this, I am grateful. It means that personal rest and relaxation are on the horizon for me, as the Mr. will be free to pick up a bit more slack (of the household variety) as well as occupy himself with outdoor projects.

One thing I’ve been focusing more on these days is photography. Though, I feel that calling it “photography” is a bit much. It’s just me using the camera on my cell phone every now and again. For no great reason, I often neglect to take pictures of family and friends (as well as me and Mr. NOA), amidst our gatherings, but I have been enjoying taking pictures of my environment.

Here’s a few:

I wish you all the best vibes on this beautiful Sunday!

Speaking of beautiful vibes, here’s a song that, to me, embodies them like few others do.

Gratitude, Happiness, Lifestyle, Relaxation, Simplicity, Summer, Words

Lollygagging Season is Here

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I love the word “lollygagging”. I don’t know where it came from, but let me Google it to satiate my curiosity.

For me, it means lazing about. Taking one’s own sweet time. Such a luxury when we can do that, right? Just going at our own pace without the pressure of having to get something done in a set amount of time.

Yep, I’m right. It’s akin to dawdling or dilly-dallying (two other words I adore). It’s an Americanism that first appeared around the 1860’s.

From dictionary.com: “To lollygag is to dilly-dally, dawdle, loaf around, or goof off. If you’re lollygagging, you’re wasting time by moving slowly or doing something less important than what you should be (or doing nothing at all).

Lollygag is primarily used in the United States. It is synonymous with the very similar spelled lallygag, but lollygag is more commonly used. Both are very informal.

Example: Coach yelled at Spencer for lollygagging at practice.“

I’m so damn good at doing lollygagging. It’s like a skill of mine. Only it’s not useful-though it could be argued that it’s useful on a personal level in that it calms me. It gives me a sense of peace. Especially if there’s no other human in my midst to disturb my dawdling, lollygagging joy.

My favorite and most natural space in which to lollygag is in the early-ish morning hours while I’m still in bed. I’ve never been one to jump out of bed, ready to rock when the alarm goes off. My body is completely relaxed. I’m by myself (Mr. NOA is a life-long early riser), so I can do a big ‘ol stretch and not push anyone to the floor in the process. Sometimes, my brain is still hanging on to the last images from the dream I just had. The opaque sheers are blowing slightly against the bedroom windows, prompted by the air coming through the floor vent underneath it, as if breathing. The room is quiet and semi-dark. I’m sleepy and beginning to vaguely ponder what the day may have in store for me. I yawn and glance towards the end of the bed, where my beautiful boy Radar is laying and yawning too.

It’s luxurious and blissful and quite possibly my favorite part of the day.

On another (musical) note, let me share with you a song I heard recently for the first time. It is certainly going on my summer playlist to enjoy when we’re out lollygagging on our pontoon.

Ambition, Books, Frugality, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Reading

My 2024 in Books…so far

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My moment with reading continues. I just finished book number 5 of my “24 books in 2024” goal.

I came into this whole endeavor thinking that I’d focus on the classics that I hadn’t yet read and/or the books that are up for being banned in some circles (because there’s a little rebel inside of me). As time has gone on, however, I’ve let go of what I think I “should” read and instead have embraced books I want to read.

Not that I haven’t read or won’t read any classics or those potentially being banned this year or beyond.

In my initial blog post about my aim to read “24 in ’24”, I essentially congratulated myself on obtaining a library card. I pictured myself making weekly trips to the library, taking time to peruse and come away with books that would make me feel or seem smart.

Alas, I haven’t exactly done that. Because I love thrifting with my whole heart, I’ve been browsing the book shelves at area thrift stores (where I can also find cool things like “I’m a Scientist” t-shirt featuring the face of Carl Sagan for Mr. NOA and springy “Knox Rose” brand tops for myself). The bonus, aside from the guilt-free retail therapy buzz that thrifting provides me with, is that I don’t have to return any of these books. I buy them at a deep discount, and then if it’s a book I really dig, I can pass it on to another reader.

“Another reader” being a friend, my MIL, or even an unknown recipient via one of the many little free libraries around these parts. Note to self: Mr. NOA has, since last Christmas, been gifted every single thing you can imagine to create things out of wood-I can legit put building a little free library on his list of things to create.

So, back to the books I’m reading/have read thus far in 2024.

I’ve read a self-improvement book that taught me how to start new, positive habits as well as how to track and stack them (Atomic Habits by James Clear). I’ve read a very strangely haunting yet at times oddly humorous book that re-iterated how god-awful war is (Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut). I’ve read a beautifully tragic book about misfits, loneliness and disappointment in small southern town America in the 1930’s (The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers). I’ve read a book about the meaning of life, death, and grief (Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom). And I just finished a kid’s book about the history of humankind, which thus far has 2 volumes (Unstoppable Us, by Yuval Noah Harari). This one is for my grandson, who I’m thrilled to report, has become an avid reader at the age of 10. I can’t wait to discuss it with him.

Next up is…well, I’m not sure yet. I purchased a few new-to-me books while thrifting recently and I’ve not decided which one to read next. I welcome insights on which of the books I now own that I should dig into next.

Here’s the lineup:

“The Moment of Lift” by Melinda Gates

“Hillbilly Elegy” by J.D. Vance

“Where’d You Go, Bernadette” by Maria Semple

“Fahrenheit 451” by Ray Bradbury

“Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen

I also intend to circle back to the book suggestions you, my fellow readers, gave me when I first announced my reading goals for 2024.

Aging, Ambition, gardening, Home, Lifestyle, Mindset, Self Improvement

Piecemealing: Inside and Outside

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For all intents and purposes, winter here in Minnesconsin is winding down (not like it ever wound up, and yes I’m probably inadverdently manifesting blizzard conditions before this month is out), and spring is knocking at the door.

During this transitional period, I’ve been working on the inside. Preparing for working outside.

In addition to working on specific areas to improve my internal life, Mr. NOA and I are working together and individually on the inside of our home. Organizing, cleaning, and slightly re-decorating this joint. All so we are ready, once the temps allow, to work (and play) outside. We have grand plans for our gardens. The hope is that we can improve on our lackluster gardening situation in 2023.

I think what’s so cool about this house (house number 8, if you care to read) is that it has so much potential. I imagine us living here for another 15 years, give or take. If it’s forever I’m good with that too. As we age, however, it’s likely that we’ll want to live in a home without stairs. I am an optimist, but also a realist.

There’s a multitude of home improvements we’d like to do, big and small. With the intention of staying here for a good long time, we have the luxury of doing it all piecemeal. It doesn’t all have to be done by a certain date or even a certain year. It’s as time/money/energy allows.

Of course, life is gonna life, right? Any number of things could happen that would derail our plans. That’s why I think it’s good to continue working internally, on myself. To increase my mental and emotional resilience, to become a better communicater, and a more self-aware person.

I think both inside and outside, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

Now for the song that came to mind as I finished writing this piece. This is such a lovely cover of the classic song from the Byrds and I think you’ll enjoy it too 🙂

Blogging, Employment, Grandparenting, Gratitude, Honesty, Humor, Lifestyle, Self-Reflection

2023: Pollyanna’s Path Year-End Review

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Let me just say that I’m not big on statistics.

I appreciate them as a way to make sense of things, to compare/contrast and gain understanding. However, when it comes to my blog…well, I’d rather concentrate on creating content that my readers might find interesting, humorous, personally beneficial, or a combination of the three.

That said, I did take a bit of time to peruse my blogging stats for 2023.

In 2023, I published 43 blog posts. I had a total of 571 likes and 351 comments. That exceeded the tally from 2022, when I published 19 posts that garnered 267 likes and 132 comments. Good for me-I made some progress!

But, more importantly, what did I have to say within these 43 blog posts?

Because I’m not a sadist, I will only highlight 8 posts from 2023 for this year-end post. These are not necessarily the ones that got the highest number of likes or comments. These are the ones that, quite simply, I’m glad I wrote, several of which seemed to resonate with my readers.

If you are new to my blog, please take a few minutes to read at least a couple of these posts I’m about to reference. It’ll give you a taste of what I have to offer you via this blog.

Thank you, current readers and/or followers of this blog of mine, for your likes and comments, encouragement, and kind words in 2023. I refuse to make hard and fast resolutions for this new year, but I aim to increase my engagement with you all while simultaneously blogging my heart out in 2024.

Happy New Year!

Blogging, Books, Christmas, Humor, Lifestyle, Psychology, Wisdom

Christmas 2023 and Stealth Expectations

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Unsurprisingly, I still have Christmas on the brain.

And today I’m going to spit it all out for your reading pleasure. And it’s Tuesday, I’m off work, and the most important (in my mind) of the holiday-related tasks have been completed for me and mine.

Also, I don’t like feeling like I’ve over-promised and under-delivered to you, my kind-hearted readers, as it’s been about two weeks since I told you that I was going to publish more posts than usual on account of my festive-ness.

Ha! I crack myself up sometimes.

If you have someone you still need to buy a Christmas present for I have a solid recommendation. And since you’ve only 5-6 days in which to make this brilliant purchase, that means you’ll need to get yourself out of the house and shop local (small business local, not your local Wal-Mart. I say this because I personally could not find this particular item when I was there recently).

No time left to order it on Amazon, folks!

Before I reveal my last-minute-perfect-Christmas-present-that-you’ll- get-at-your-local-independent b8#$store, after stopping at your favorite cafe or bistro for a scone or piping hot coffee, let me say this one little thing about this item: it’s a book.

It’s a book in which, on page 43, the author writes about how disappointment, per research, is one of the most frequently experienced emotions, and one that is experienced at a high level of intensity. She goes on to talk about “stealth expectations”: meaning those ideas that come into our heads that we let play out like a mini-movie, which we often foolishly keep secret from everyone around us.

Stealth expectations. Something I’ve often had but never had a term for. It was mind-blowing for me to re-read this section of this book one late night earlier this month. It completely reflects how I’ve been going about life, in particular the holiday season, year after year.

That’s why I’m going to let (Christmas related) things be. If I don’t get around to making those pretzel rods dipped in chocolate, re-purposing those old Christmas cards into works of art with my 9 year old grandson while we sing Christmas Carols and eat cookie dough, if I don’t find the right Christmas-y cocktail to make for our guests…it’s all good.

Now, if I can carry this warning about “stealth expectations” into how I operate into the new year, I think I just might continue to be able to say “it’s all good”.

Ok, now for my perfect Christmas present for any adults still on your list:

“Atlas of the Heart” by Brene Brown. It will teach your recipient so much. That’s a Christmas promise from me to you!

Now, for a little collage of my Christmas decor (the most fun personal holiday task for me) for your viewing pleasure.

Merriest of Holiday Wishes to you and yours this season!

Blogging Community, family, Gratitude, Holidays, Lifestyle, Thanksgiving

The Best Holiday is Upon Us

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When anyone asks me what my favorite holiday is, I always say it’s Thanksgiving. How about you?

Thanksgiving, to me, is all about baking and cooking copious amounts of food and feasting with my friends and/or family. It’s simple. It doesn’t include the stress of finding just the right gifts for my loved ones. It doesn’t come with a slew of events that proceed the actual day that I feel obligated to participate in.

It’s a time to enjoy hearth and home, and consider all the things for which I’m grateful.

As Jen Sincero, author of “You Are a Bad Ass” says, “Gratitude is the gateway to Awesomeness”. And I firmly believe that. A blogger I follow, Erin, of https://existentialergonomics.com/, recently wrote on the Sharing the Heart of the Matter blog, “when we pay attention and we track our progress, even the worst days are filled with reasons to be grateful” Attitude is everything, don’t you think?

A short (ish) list of the things for which I am grateful as Thanksgiving approaches:

  • The teachers that have patiently worked with my grandson to ensure that school is a place that he likes to be. They believe in him, and support him to be the best he can be. They appreciate his intellect and sense of humor. He is thriving, and one of the primary reasons for this is the dedication, patience, and kindness of his teachers.
  • Work. Not just for me, with being able to work part-time in a healthy non-profit organization, but for my family members. Both kids and Mr. None of the Above are supported and appreciated by their employers. They have been empowered to be autonomous in their day-to-day work decisions and they enjoy what they are doing.
  • Community. From having neighbors we can count on when we need help of any kind, to the generosity I witness from our volunteers on the daily in my work, to the doggies in our neighborhood who come to visit Radar at least a couple of times each week.
  • The community of bloggers I engage with. I often learn new things or new ways to think about old things from you all. I often feel inspired and encouraged by what you put out there in the blogosphere, and for that I am grateful.
  • The many great in-person conversations and laughs I’ve gotten to have since last year at this time with friends and family. These would have not happened had Mr. None of the Above and I not moved here to Minnesconsin in 2022.
  • That our daughter is in a loving and healthy relationship now with a guy we all think the world of. She had not experienced that in her life until she moved here (when we did, in 2022). To see her being appreciated and emotionally supported the way he does is so meaningful for me as her mom.
  • 33 years of marriage to Mr. None of the Above. We have experienced our trials and tribulations as we navigated adulthood, parenthood, grandparenthood, careers, moves to different states, deaths of family and friends, and everything in between. And we remain a strong unit.

What is on your list of gratitudes this Thanksgiving?

***Header image courtesy of https://www.rd.com/list/thanksgiving-quotes/***

Happiness, Lifestyle, Live Concerts, Music, Rock and Roll

A Bottle of Red, A Bottle of White

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Guess who I’m seeing live in concert on Friday night?

Any of you who are fans of this artist can likely guess this based on the title of this blog post.

It’s Billy Joel! The “piano man” himself!

A significant benefit of living here in Minnesconsin is our proximity to the Twin Cities, which allows us to easily attend concerts and other happenings in Minneapolis or St. Paul. It’s not much more than an hours drive away for us.

Months ago, my wonderful sister-in-law purchased the tickets online for us and Mr. None of the Above. SIL is also a big fan of BJ’s and had seen him perform live several years ago and told us it was probably the best live concert she had ever seen.

To top it off, Stevie Nicks is on this tour as well. I’m so curious about what songs (his or hers?) they will perform together (assuming they do this at all, but they will, right?!).

Side note: I cheated and googled these two artists and learned that at other venues on this joint tour, they performed “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”, Stevie’s song with Tom Petty. I’ll let myself be surprised by whatever other songs they perform together on Friday night.

Let me just tell you, I have been a huge Billy Joel fan since I was probably 12-years old. In fact, “52nd Street” was one of the first vinyl albums I purchased to play on my turntable in my bedroom. I remember reading the liner notes, singing each song along with Billy. Before long, I knew all the words of all these songs by heart.

In fact, the first album I bought when Mr. None of the Above got me my requested gift of a turntable for Christmas last year, was “52nd Street”. My original copy is now in possession of another, as I donated it to charity along with the rest of my vinyl collection and old turntable many years ago when we were downsizing in preparation for a move.

The song I’m perhaps most excited to hear live is “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”. It’s always been a favorite of mine. I recall sitting atop my yellow gingham-checked bedspread with the canopy above it, listening/singing to this song. It would get me dreaming up a romantic rendezvous with a young, dark-haired stud at an Italian restaurant in NYC. It was just one of those songs that painted a specific picture for me, one that was, of course, fueled by teenage-girl hormones.

Really, all of Billy Joel’s songs tell a story, which is why I am so drawn to his music.

Have you ever seen him live? If so, tell me all about it in the comments! If not, share your favorite song of his instead. I’d love to know what yours is!

***Header image courtesy of https://quotefancy.com/quote/1228037/Randy-Harrison-Storytelling-with-music-is-a-really-powerful-device***

Dogs, Gratitude, Humor, Lifestyle, Love, Pets, Photography

Monthly Subscriptions and My Good Boy

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This past Sunday morning, as I was spewing out my thoughts and feelings into my personal draft folder, I caught a glimpse of the most precious thing.

Or, to be more exact, the most precious furry being there ever was: our good boy, Radar.

This is what I wrote:

I just got distracted by Radar. Normally the distraction is in the form of an unanticpated barking session. But this one is sublime. He’s curled up and sleeping next to the front door. Basking in the square of sunlight that landed on the green carpet he’s laying on. With his front paws beneath his head, and his right paw laying atop one of his most favorite toys. That tough navy and bright green wheel thing he got in his monthly Bark Box.

I resisted my usual temptation of grabbing my phone and snapping a picture. I decided it was unnecessary; and besides, the chances that he’d still be there in that exact position by the time I was ready to snap one were slim to none.

I did get this one a bit later in the day, however, as he was laying on the floor as Mr. None of the Above and I watched the Vikings vs. Packers game.

Look at the gorgeous mane!

Here’s one in which he’s wearing his “day of the dead” bandana while sharing the love seat with me and his favorite afghan, which was made by my mom.

Ain’t he a beaut?

Back to the Bark Box subscription. We signed up for it back when we lived in Colorado. When we moved to Minnesconsin in 2022, I re-started it. Not at all making any note whatsoever on my calendar so I could consider if it ought to continue after six months. So of course, that date came and went and I noticed a charge on our bank account for another six months. Radar had accumulated so many “tough chewer” toys via this subscription, but here it was already paid for. So we’ve been periodically sharing the treats and toys with other doggie friends because we simply don’t have the room for so much!

You should see this dog when the monthly Bark Box comes. He knows what it is when he sees it. He pounces, barks, wagging his tail as he expresses his jubilation. I have this little fantasy in my head that one day he’s going to manage to open it up all by himself, you know, after he grows thumbs, but for now I unseal it, then set it down on the floor for him to finish. It is the most hilarious thing ever and I’ve captured it on video but am not sure it’s good enough to share in this space.

I’m just so darn grateful for this goofy pooch of ours.