All posts by Rhonda

I'm a 57 year old lover of life, family, friends, and creative writing (amongst numerous other activities, people, animals, big ideas, and things). I am a native Minnesotan now living in my happy place of "Minnesconsin". I was a case manager/social worker for many years in Wisconsin and am now ready for my new chapter in life as a writer. I enjoy writing about my day to day (mis)adventures, the people I love and those that inspire me, places I've traveled to, music that makes my world go 'round, politics and current affairs, and general observations and ideas about life and ideas on how it could be improved. My hope is that my blog will be interactive and uplifting.
Childhood, Creative Writing, Fun, Grandparenting

WordPress Prompt: What’s your favorite candy?

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Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite candy?
View all responses

What an un-serious, silly question. It’s today’s WordPress prompt and it’s weirdly perfect for my current mood.

And, well, I love candy. And Valentine’s Day is next week, for which Mr. None of the Above never fails to buy me a huge box of chocolates to express his devotion to me. Next week is also my grandson’s birthday. He loves candy too.

One of my favorite candies (like I can pick just one!) is the underappreciated Almond Joy bar. It’s a favorite of our grandson too, which surprises me, as kids are not supposed to like coconut, right?

My least favorite childhood nickname was “candy queen”. I think it came about when I was the youngest in a long line of cousins on my Mom’s side. In the summers, we’d often drive a few hours to spend time with her side of the family, where in the itsy-bitsy town they lived was a bar/candy store. Well, to me it really was a candy store (with all the candy housed in a glass case by the cash register). One of my older cousins would take me there, and I’d buy all the candy I could with whatever change I had been given by my Mom.

So, I feel pretty qualified to write about the topic of candy. I also have the dental work to show for it. At a recent dental exam, it was noted that I’ve “had a lot of work done” on my teeth. Let’s just say I spent an above-average amount of time at the dentist growing up. Thankfully, I also developed excellent dental hygiene habits as an adult so I’ve still got all my original teeth!

Back to the question at hand.

In no particular order, my favorite candies (besides Almond Joy) are:

  • Licorice: black or red only please. I prefer red, whether it’s Red Vines or Twizzlers
  • Peanut butter Snickers (an old boss of mine used to keep these on her desk during team meetings and I loved her for it)
  • Gummy bears (especially the yellow and orange ones)
  • Apple-flavored Jolly Ranchers
  • Peanut or Peanut Butter M ‘n M’s
  • Salt Water taffy
  • Those black and white (and pink?) licorice flavored taffies from way back in the olden days
  • Take 5 bars
  • Dark chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joe’s

There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ve forgotten some of my favorites, but right now…guess what?

I want candy!!!!

Blogging Community, Social Media, Words

New Words and Smart People

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One piece of advice I’ve heard numerous times over the years goes something like this: surround yourself with people smarter than you.

This is great advice, don’t you think? While it does require one to keep their ego in check, the rewards are great when you do it.

It applies not only in real life, where, arguably, oftentimes we don’t have full control of who we interact with day to day, but also in the virtual world (where, it could be argued, we do have full control of who we interact with).

A recent example can be found in a comment one of my fabulous blogger friends made on a recent post of mine. In response to a comment I made about exiting the “dead bird app” (thanks Valerie Bertinelli for that epic descriptor), my blogger friend said she’s still on the aforementioned app but is not “twitterpated” with it.

Now, “twitterpated” is not a word I’ve ever heard (and I would guess many of you have not either). My first thought was that she had made up this silly word. Or maybe it was a weird typo. I thought about it for a bit and figured that the “pated” portion of the word was like the word “sated”, as in being satisfied.

I looked at the comment again a few days later, and thought perhaps I ought to google the word, for shits and giggles, you know? Not at all expecting that it was indeed a “real” word.

Alas-twitterpated is a real word! Per dictionary.com it means “excited or overcome by romantic feelings; smitten”. Now, I think I can assume that my lovely blogger friend, Crystal btw, was not trying to say she was not overcome by romantic feelings about the dead bird app, because that would be a ridiculous thing to say. No app should compel romantic feelings, right? Well, maybe a dating app for those who are single I suppose.

She was saying she was not “smitten” with the app. Though “twitterpated” is a much more fun and unusual way to say that, without a doubt. I was not twitterpated with the dead bird app either, that’s why I dumped it.

This is all to say that I appreciate those who are smarter than I. There’s loads of people who are, of course. And there’s ways I might be a little smarter than others. We all have something to offer.

Surrounding ourselves as much as we possibly can, IRL and online, by folks who are smarter than us has the potential to teach us so much. And if we are lucky, their “smarts” might just rub off a little on us.

Books, Personal Growth, Reading, Self Improvement, Time Management

24 Books in 2024

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I’ve never read a Stephen King book. I tried once when I was a teenager, but I was overwhelmed by the number of pages.

Not that I don’t like or appreciate Stephen King. I’ve enjoyed the movies and mini-series that came from his books, especially “The Stand”.

Why am I talking about Stephen King? Because of this quote I read in 2023 that really stuck with me.

I have to paraphrase it because I’ll be darned if I can find it online.

“When you have a lot going on in your head, write. When you are not feeling inspired by anything in particular, read.”

This *paraphrased* quote gave me permission (in my head) to not force myself to write. It let me off the hook. It’s a simple yet very valuable piece of advice, don’t you think?

So, I’ve been reading more. I enjoy a variety of different genres, though I gravitate towards self-help, memoirs, psychological thrillers/mysteries, and books with fictional stories about multi-generational families and the secrets they keep.

I’m currently reading “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I am getting a lot out of it. Plenty of great tips and tricks which, to me, seem to fall under that awesome phrase from Jen Sincero’s “You Are a BadAss” book: “your brain is your bitch”.

After living in Minnesconsin for nearly 2 years now, I finally visited our local library earlier this month. As one of my areas of growth this year is to increase our savings, this was a good move. No more buying books via Amazon for me!

My aim is to read 24 books in 2024. “Atomic Habits” is of course the first one. Just 23 more to go!

I recognize this is a terribly ambitious goal, especially considering that the only consistent time I seem to be able to read is right before bed. Prior to my reading time, however, I tend to watch t.v., which of course I will need to cut back on if I have any chance of even reading 12 books this year.

I have a great interest in choosing books from the various lists I’ve seen online of banned books. Those books that particular self-righteous religious zealots have deemed inappropriate for young readers in public schools. Books that contain stories about race, sexual orientation, and social (in)justice.

I was so greedy at the library that I came out with three books that really piqued my interest. They are: Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse Five”, “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter” by Carson McCullers, and “Trigger Warning” from Neil Gaiman.

While I have a few books I plan on adding to my “24 books in 2024” list, such as “The Diary of Anne Frank” and “1984”, I would love for you to share in the comments any thoughts you have about the books I have thus far on my list and/or suggestions on what I ought to pick for the next 19 books to read.

TIA, my generous reading and writing friends!

Aging, Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Self-Reflection, Truth, Wisdom

Aging is Rad

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Later this month, I’ll be turning 57. I’m closer to the end of my life on this earth than I am to the beginning of it.

I realize that sounds dramatic, but it’s true.

This is why I feel a sense of urgency to get on with living a fuller life. I want to have the experiences that, and conversations with people who light me up and expand my worldview. I say this of course for self-serving reasons to an extent, but my true, ultimate goal is to leave a positive mark on the world when all is said and done. When I am said and done.

Yes, that was a bit on the dramatic side too, but it’s also true. Another truth: I waver between taking myself too seriously and not taking myself seriously enough.

This urgency I feel is the crux of why “growth” is my word of the year. I can’t expect the things I want to happen to actually happen if I don’t grow.

Bottom line for me is that time is a precious commodity that I’ve gotten really good at wasting. And I’m done with that baloney.

I have come to the understanding that being in my 50’s is pretty rad.

Do you all remember the actor Justine Batemen from the 80’s sitcom “Family Ties”? She inspired me to re-think aging, back when I saw this video in 2023.

The one thing I love about being in my 50’s is the wisdom I’ve gained. As Justine said in this clip, I’ve never been smarter and never had more connections now that I’m older. It’s true. It’s true for all of us who are in our 50’s and beyond, don’t you think?

Not that I couldn’t be smarter or have even more connections. That’s yet another reason that “growth” is my WOTY.

At almost 57, I’m more confident and aware of the skills I have which were gained through trial and error. I am more aware of my shortcomings but, and this is the most important part: I’m not as obsessed with them as I once was.

I recently joined Threads, after exiting the app previously known as Twitter. I’m enjoying it so much more and here’s an example of why that is. I was scrolling it this morning and came upon a quote I’d never read before from Betty Friedan. It encapsulates how I’m feeling about aging.

Your comments on this blog post would be much appreciated, because I believe our attitudes about aging ought to be examined. Who’s with me?

Ambition, Blogging, Life, Mindset, Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Word of the Year

2024 WOTY

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For a hot minute, I was going to jump feet first into the WordPress “Bloganuary” challenge. It’d be fun, I thought. A good challenge to start the new year. Then, once I took a moment to consider the pressure I’d put myself under to write and publish a blog post every single day for a month, I decided against it. No sense in biting off more than I can reasonably chew.

Know thyself.

Then, after seeing other bloggers announcing their “Word of the Year”, I decided that is something I wanted to embrace. Especially if I chose the right word for me.

How about you all? Is there one word, or perhaps a phrase, that you have chosen as your guiding light for 2024?

My word of the year is “Growth”.

It’s really simple: what I want for myself in 2024 (and truly, beyond) is to grow. To improve. To be better and do better. This is all so that I can be a better human. A better friend. A better employee. A better steward of time and money. A better steward of my mind and body. A better mom and grandma. A better spouse. A better writer.

What I will need to remind myself on the regular as I move forward this year is that growth does not happen without some pain. I’m going to be taking more risks, and with risks there will be failures.

Plenty of people would be uncomfortable doing what I do, blogging. I’m still not completely comfortable with it myself, in spite of doing it more or less consistently since 2017. So, maybe I have a leg up in a sense, as I push through the discomfort post by post.

I’m not going to go into specifics here and now, but general areas of personal growth in 2024 for me include, but are not limited to: blogging/writing, personal finances, relationships, work, and creative expression beyond writing.

The specifics will be written in the brand spanking new journal I recently brought. The idea is that at the beginning of each month, I will write down the objectives for that month and how I’m going to achieve them. I’ve started with small ones in January, with the intention of building good habits that I can carry into the next month so I have momentum for the objectives I establish for personal growth in February. And so on for each month of the year.

May my enthusiasm for growth not wane as I move forward in this new year.

Blogging, Employment, Grandparenting, Gratitude, Honesty, Humor, Lifestyle, Self-Reflection

2023: Pollyanna’s Path Year-End Review

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Let me just say that I’m not big on statistics.

I appreciate them as a way to make sense of things, to compare/contrast and gain understanding. However, when it comes to my blog…well, I’d rather concentrate on creating content that my readers might find interesting, humorous, personally beneficial, or a combination of the three.

That said, I did take a bit of time to peruse my blogging stats for 2023.

In 2023, I published 43 blog posts. I had a total of 571 likes and 351 comments. That exceeded the tally from 2022, when I published 19 posts that garnered 267 likes and 132 comments. Good for me-I made some progress!

But, more importantly, what did I have to say within these 43 blog posts?

Because I’m not a sadist, I will only highlight 8 posts from 2023 for this year-end post. These are not necessarily the ones that got the highest number of likes or comments. These are the ones that, quite simply, I’m glad I wrote, several of which seemed to resonate with my readers.

If you are new to my blog, please take a few minutes to read at least a couple of these posts I’m about to reference. It’ll give you a taste of what I have to offer you via this blog.

Thank you, current readers and/or followers of this blog of mine, for your likes and comments, encouragement, and kind words in 2023. I refuse to make hard and fast resolutions for this new year, but I aim to increase my engagement with you all while simultaneously blogging my heart out in 2024.

Happy New Year!

Blogging, Books, Christmas, Humor, Lifestyle, Psychology, Wisdom

Christmas 2023 and Stealth Expectations

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Unsurprisingly, I still have Christmas on the brain.

And today I’m going to spit it all out for your reading pleasure. And it’s Tuesday, I’m off work, and the most important (in my mind) of the holiday-related tasks have been completed for me and mine.

Also, I don’t like feeling like I’ve over-promised and under-delivered to you, my kind-hearted readers, as it’s been about two weeks since I told you that I was going to publish more posts than usual on account of my festive-ness.

Ha! I crack myself up sometimes.

If you have someone you still need to buy a Christmas present for I have a solid recommendation. And since you’ve only 5-6 days in which to make this brilliant purchase, that means you’ll need to get yourself out of the house and shop local (small business local, not your local Wal-Mart. I say this because I personally could not find this particular item when I was there recently).

No time left to order it on Amazon, folks!

Before I reveal my last-minute-perfect-Christmas-present-that-you’ll- get-at-your-local-independent b8#$store, after stopping at your favorite cafe or bistro for a scone or piping hot coffee, let me say this one little thing about this item: it’s a book.

It’s a book in which, on page 43, the author writes about how disappointment, per research, is one of the most frequently experienced emotions, and one that is experienced at a high level of intensity. She goes on to talk about “stealth expectations”: meaning those ideas that come into our heads that we let play out like a mini-movie, which we often foolishly keep secret from everyone around us.

Stealth expectations. Something I’ve often had but never had a term for. It was mind-blowing for me to re-read this section of this book one late night earlier this month. It completely reflects how I’ve been going about life, in particular the holiday season, year after year.

That’s why I’m going to let (Christmas related) things be. If I don’t get around to making those pretzel rods dipped in chocolate, re-purposing those old Christmas cards into works of art with my 9 year old grandson while we sing Christmas Carols and eat cookie dough, if I don’t find the right Christmas-y cocktail to make for our guests…it’s all good.

Now, if I can carry this warning about “stealth expectations” into how I operate into the new year, I think I just might continue to be able to say “it’s all good”.

Ok, now for my perfect Christmas present for any adults still on your list:

“Atlas of the Heart” by Brene Brown. It will teach your recipient so much. That’s a Christmas promise from me to you!

Now, for a little collage of my Christmas decor (the most fun personal holiday task for me) for your viewing pleasure.

Merriest of Holiday Wishes to you and yours this season!

Anxiety, Christmas, family, Grandparenting, Holiday Traditions

The Old Christmas Card Tradition

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I’ve been stressing about the whole Christmas card situation. Every single year, I am talking at least 25 years of my adult life, I have taken the time to create a greeting card online using photos of me with Mr. None of the Above, the kids, the grandkid, and our dog. Mr. None of the Above and I usually wrangle a bit over it, as we often can’t agree on what pictures to use and how they should be positioned on the card. It’s honestly the least favorite “tradition” of Christmas for me. I really don’t want to even do it this year.

I feel guilty about that. I absolutely love receiving all the cards we get from friends and family, near and far, each year. It’s a treat to see these cards come in the mail. I love putting them up for display and then sharing stories about the people in them with friends and family that drop by. And I keep them all. I’ve got them mixed in the boxes of Christmas doo-dads in the basement. I can’t say why exactly I have kept them. I guess it’s guilt? Or my nostalgic nature?

Perhaps I could re-purpose these cards, by cutting out the pretty parts that don’t include the actual people and make a huge collage? That sounds like a lot of fun. Time-consuming, but fun, right? Maybe that’s something my grandson and I can do together.

Yes, I did just get on Pinterest and boy, oh boy, there’s a plethora of arts and crafts one can create with old Christmas cards.

I think where I’m landing with this (first world) “dilemma” is to send “Happy New Years” cards instead. It’s already 12/10 and if I tried to order Christmas cards now I’d barely get them in time to send out. I think, for now, I’ll concentrate on my other Christmas tasks, like baking cookies, finishing up the present shopping, and wrapping said presents.

Ordering “Happy New Years” cards can wait a week, maybe even two.

Now, there’s some folks on my Christmas card list who I suspect only send us a Christmas card in response to the one we send to them. Like they feel obligated to reciprocate. Mr. None of the Above and I sending out Happy New Years cards might throw them off. I wonder if they’ll just grab one of their leftover Christmas cards and send it to us in response? No shame on them, honestly. I think it’d be hilarious actually. Here it is, January 8th, and I’m getting a Christmas card from someone. Right?!

How about you, my fellow Season’s greetings card givers and/or recipients? How do you “do” this aspect of the Holiday season?

A little blast from our family’s Christmas card past:

***Header image courtesy of https://inamatchbox.com/blogs/news/41-funny-christmas-messages-to-write-in-a-card***

Adult children, Anxiety, Baking, Christmas, Humor, Joy

Christmas Cookies and Not Sweating the Small Stuff

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As I write this, it’s 1 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon and I’m in the Christmas cookie zone, relaxing to instrumental Christmas music on my Google Nest.

But here’s where my head was the Sunday before last. Call it a little peek into my “Christmas brain”, if you will:

I need to start somewhere, so I’ll start with the cookie planning:

I would like to make:

  • Spritz
  • Cherry Almond cookies from last year
  • Santa’s whiskers
  • PB Truffles
  • Snickerdoodles
  • Chocolate covered pretzel rods

And maybe another kind of two. Oh, the cherry snowballs for sure! I’ve got six days designated on our calendar to get this done.

Then there’s the decorating. I am especially psyched for this endeavor.

But my beautiful daughter is on her way to pick me up for a spontaneous shopping trip and I’m still in my bathrobe. So I gotta split for now.

Same day, just p.m.

Today was great! I enjoyed eating a hearty lunch with my first-born at Barker’s in Hudson. We had fun shopping together. I love that she’s going as the rag doll from the Land of Misfit Toys from Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, for a work photo shoot next week. But it was hard to find the “costume”. She is not worried about it though.

There’s an important difference between the two of us. Good on her. She’s not like me in this way. Had I, at her age, been given a directive to come up with such a costume for a work situation, well..I’d be freaking out. I’d probably still be out there, searching to no avail for all the right pieces to bring that damn dolly to life.

Because it would have mattered to me, then. I would have fretted about the impression I was giving my employer by coming up short on this task, as I would have convinced myself that without a doubt, every one of my co-workers Christmas photo-shoot costume was going to be EPIC.

And it would have been such a misplacement of my mental energy and my time.

I’m glad she’s not like I was. She doesn’t sweat the small stuff, which I have done at a high level of proficiency for the majority of my adult life.

Readers, don’t be surprised if you see more posts than usual from me this month. I’ve got Christmas on the brain and my hope is that unloading it in this space will be a jolly little treat to go with your egg nog.

Fa-la-la-la-la folks!

***Header image courtesy of https://wjbq.com/why-is-dolly-on-the-island-of-misfit-toys-whats-wrong-with-her/***

Blogging, Gratitude, Joy, Live Concerts, Music, Wine

A Bottle of White, A Bottle of Red

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Who enjoys their wine?

I do. I mostly prefer a dry white, but OMG sipping a full bodied pinot noir or merlot is an exquisite experience.

I could happily talk more about wine here. When I first began blogging, there were topics of great interest in my mind, ones that I was certain I was going to write about all the live-long day. Food/Drink was one of those. Now, I certainly have written much in this space about my unbridled enthusiasm for cooking and baking, sometimes sharing my best recipes. But that’s not what this post is about, actually.

It’s about how I, along with my beautiful sister-in-law and Mr. None of the Above, got to see two icons-live!-in concert earlier this month: Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks (which I later learned entitled their concert “Two Icons One Night”).

You may (or may not) have read my little piece in this space where I expressed my enthusaism ahead of getting to experience this concert.

I figure “before I forget” (a common phrase for anyone who knows me IRL), especially since my brain right now is all about ChristmasChristmasChristmas, I figured I’d share my impressions of this concert.

It. Was. Awesome!

Stevie Nicks performed first. She sounded great, just like she does on the radio and her albums. She appeared quite dimunitive, and charmed us all with her chattiness between songs. She had such a fast way of speaking, though, I likely didn’t catch it all. She and Billy performed “Stop Draggin’ my Heart Around” as pictures of Tom Petty were displayed on the huge screens. She also performed a cover of Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”, prefacing it with something to the effect of “I don’t care how you vote, but we are in some very hard times in this world right now”.

Stevie performed many of her greatest hits as well, like “Gypsy” and “Gold Dust Woman”. I was amazed by how long they each performed. Her performance was about 1 1/2 hours and Billy’s was well over 2 hours.

I loved that when Billy Joel performed “Zanzibar”, everyone seemed to be singing and swaying along. I don’t believe this was a top 10 hit for him, but it’s always one I’ve loved. I felt such a sense of community, singing off-key alongside this massive crowd. It really fed my soul.

At one point, Billy stood at the microphone and shared that he was feeling anxious about performing the next song, because as he’s gotten older, his voice has gotten deeper. And this song, “An Innocent Man”, has some very important high notes. He nailed it!

I was, of course, along with everyone else in the crowd, ecstatic when Billy performed “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”. It was brilliant!

We also got treated to a cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love”, performed by Billy’s bandmate, Mike DelGuidice. As a Zeppelin fan, I thought this was amazing.

This whole experience was thrilling for me. I’m so grateful I got to experience it. Cheers to these iconic American treasures!