Getting Fired, Hope, Mental Health, Self Compassion, Work

That One Time When I Got Fired

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The only time in my working life that I ever had an inkling I might get myself fired was when I was in college. I was trying to make some extra dough to fund my nicotine habit and cheap drinks at our college town’s dive bars. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to utilize my parent’s money to fund those things entirely.

I took a part-time job as a telemarketer rounding up donations for the democratic party. I detested cold-calling people on the list I was provided with prior to each shift. None of them, unsurprisingly, wanted to talk to me. I stumbled over my words as my nerves got the best of me. The majority of the people I called hung up on me.

Now, my memory of all this is admittedly fuzzy, being that it happened 35 + years ago. But there came a point where I realized that I was kidding myself if I thought my employer was going to keep me on. I was not a persuasive person. I was not comfortable trying to be one. So I quit before they got a chance to fire me.

Many years later, I found myself working at a non-profit serving senior citizens in the Denver metro. I started out running the food pantry there, which was something I quickly realized I loved.

Then the Covid-19 pandemic hit. A new program was being started at my non-profit which aimed to address feelings of loneliness and isolation brought on by the pandemic lockdown amongst senior citizens in our county. This is when I was given a new opportunity. An opportunity to essentially helm this program and build it into something beneficial.

The agency purchased new software for the project and I was given a new title. The food pantry was going to be run by someone else. I was sad to have to give that up. The opportunity to use my social work skills (I worked as a case manager, then a certified social worker, in Wisconsin for about 15 years before that) in a bit of a new way, however, was something I was unable to resist.

I was trained on the new software by a smart, nerdy, good-natured millennial who was my favorite person at the non-profit. Her tech expertise was spread thin, however, as the ED (Executive Director, for those not familiar with non-profit lingo) had delegated a variety of projects for her to accomplish with set deadlines.

I thought I had gotten the hang of it after a few weeks. I was reaching out to seniors (cold calling on a list-perhaps a red flag I didn’t see at the time?) all day long, checking in with them to see how they were managing lockdown. Asking questions to determine what supports they had in place to manage in the day-to-day, both with practical things like grocery shopping and housekeeping, and with their anxieties about spending so much time at home alone. Determining based on their responses how our non-profit could help or what other resources were available to meet their needs.

I documented everything I was required to in the new software. When I had questions, I would call or text my millennial tech co-worker friend for answers. Sometimes it would take a while for her to respond, being that she had other projects to attend to. Or she would come over to me (they had me working off-site) when she had a little break in her day to address whatever difficulty I was having with using the software for documenting all the information I was gathering. Sometimes she would not have the answers I needed so she’d have to do some checking and get back to me. Understandable. I did the best I could each day and hoped it would all work out.

Then Hubs and I went on vacation, to visit family and friends in Minnesota and Wisconsin for a couple of weeks.

I came back to work on a Monday. I checked my emails and responded to them. I checked my documentation to refresh my brain as to where I had left things. I picked up the phone and made callbacks to the seniors I had spoken to two weeks prior.

Toward the end of that day, I got a call from my boss requesting I drive over to the office for a meeting with the ED. I assumed this was merely a “check-in” sort of deal, where I reviewed my progress and where things stood with the project and what steps needed to be taken going forward.

I drove over and walked into the building. I was greeted by my boss and the ED as they ushered me into the conference room. We sat down and exchanged pleasantries. Then the ED said something to the effect of “This is not working for us”. I asked for clarification on what that meant. She said that “unfortunately” they were going to have to let me go.

My jaw dropped to the floor. The tears started flowing. I felt sick to my stomach. Wounded. Rejected. Shocked. Utterly beside myself.

I think I actually said, “you’re kidding me”.

When I sought answers as to why this was happening, I was told that while I was on vacation, it was discovered that there were “several” errors in the electronic documentation I had completed. Addresses and names were mixed up. The ED said my co-workers had to fix the errors in my absence. I was told that the non-profit didn’t have the time to allow me to continue as they needed someone doing this job that would not make these kinds of errors. I asked if I could stay on but in a different role and I was told “no”.

I texted Hubs and simply told him I’d been fired. That I was devastated and coming home soon.

I got in my truck and bawled like a baby. I bawled all the way home and I bawled for almost 3 days straight afterward. I was humiliated. Ashamed. Embarrassed. You know, all of those lovely feelings. I couldn’t eat and I could barely sleep. I was completely beside myself. My ego was beyond bruised.

But, here’s the thing. Time is wonderful. It has such healing power.

With the emotional support of Hubs and time spent feeling my feelings, my wounds became less raw. Just a little less raw. Just enough so that I had the nerve to call another non-profit ED who I had become friends with through my job running the food pantry to see what kind of volunteer opportunities she might have for me. I knew enough about myself to know that I had to get myself back out there, doing what good I could in the world. I needed to do something productive with my time and energy.

She took me up on it and I found myself sorting through donated goods at her non-profit a few days later. It felt so good to get out of my house (and out of my head) and just do something.

She called me a couple of days later. She reminded me of her dream of having a food pantry at her non-profit; another program to offer to the low-income, unhoused, or marginally housed families and individuals they served. She asked if I was “up for” leading it. I jumped at the chance.

Together, we cleared out the backroom and painted shelves. I made connections to a major food bank to partner with. I wrote a couple of grants (something I had told my previous ED I had a keen interest in doing but never got the opportunity there) to get funding for things like freezers, refrigerators, and of course, to purchase food.

I worked there for almost two years before we moved back to Wisconsin.

The moral of this story is this: you may get fired from your job someday. Even from a job you put your “all” into. When/if this happens, take the time you need to feel all those awful feelings. Talk to people you have loving relationships with about these feelings. Cry for as long as you need to.

Then, when the tears start to dry up, think about your next move. It doesn’t have to be anything fantastical. It just needs to be something that gets you out into the world. Into the world where you can interact with others. Working with others to accomplish something. Gifting yourself the opportunity to laugh and connect with others.

Because it just may be that the shocking end was what needed to happen for a new, surprising, and enlightening experience to happen for you.

Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Planning, Positivity, Psychology, Self Improvement

Happiness is Having Something to Look Forward to, Part 2

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I published a blog post almost 5 years ago in which I wrote about happiness being having something to look forward to.

The reason I’m revisiting this concept now is because it still feels relevant to me. I also believe it could help you.

Here’s a simple exercise I invite you to do right now. Or, if your time is limited today, maybe it’s something you could ponder for a bit and circle back to later.

Take a pen and paper and write down the following question: what am I looking forward to?

I caution you to not overthink this question. Ironic, coming from me, as I have a tendency to overthink things, sometimes to the extreme. Sometimes to the point where I have to pivot in my mind and shake things off. Turn my attention to something completely different or just journal like a madwoman to release the anxiety.

Anyway, the point is to keep it simple. Use the K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Sister-or Sailor, or Son, or Silly-whatever works for you).

Simple like the image that inspired me to write the original post.

“Looking forward” in our minds, I think, releases endorphins and puts us in a frame of mind of excited anticipation. It can help us to get on with it and do what it is we need to do to prepare for the event, whatever it may be. It gets us to look up, towards the future, and not down, where the past is collecting dust.

A crucial part to having something to look forward to, cultivating the positive feelings that it engenders, is planning. It’s taking charge of what we want to do and coming up with a plan to make it happen.

As Dr. Alex Lickerman says in a Psychology Today article I read, “when I’ve looked for the difference between my happy days and my unhappy days, I’ve noticed that the former are frequently filled with thoughts about something I look forward to, while the latter are practically empty of them”.

Think about that for a minute. Can you relate?

Dr. Lickerman further states in this article “anticipatory pleasure is so important to my sense of well-being, in fact, that I now plan my life in such a way that I almost always have something to look forward to”.

As a planner and an optimist, this statement from Dr. Lickerman reflects how I’ve been living my life.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to in this moment: Taking myself out tomorrow for a little shopping in the sweet little town 15 minutes away from me. The temps have gone up, much of the snow has melted, and I feel joyful at the thought of driving the country roads to get there with my music cranked up and finding some treasures to zhuzh up my outdoor (and possibly indoor) space.

Here’s a song to get you motivated, if you need to find something to look forward to in the days ahead. Because “yesterday’s gone”.

Anxiety, Blogging, Clarity, Honesty, Life, Time Management

A is for Accountability

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After much deliberation, I have decided not to participate in this year’s April A-Z blogging challenge.

How about the rest of you, my blogger friends? Are you participating?

I realize I may regret it, especially once I start reading all the creative posts from others that come out of it.

But the thing is, I cannot commit. I’m seeing that right now, getting stuff done has got to be a bigger priority than a fun blogging challenge.

I just am not in a position to give it my all. And I’ve got shit to do.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t play around a bit with the alphabet, following my creative whims.

That is why you are reading this post from me today about accountability.

It’s a big, important word, right?

It’s so satisfying to see others who have done wrong being held accountable for their dirty deeds, isn’t it? Like what is just now beginning to happen to our former president.

In “Atlas of the Heart”, Brene Brown describes that feeling of satisfaction when someone gets what’s coming to them, as “schadenfreude”. It’s defined by her as “pleasure of joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”.

It’s not necessarily satisfying though to hold ourselves accountable, or God Forbid, to be held accountable in other people’s view. It’s hard. It’s fucking uncomfortable. You might worry that you are over-promising (which I would have been doing if I declared I was participating in the A to Z challenge). You might struggle with determining what it is exactly that you personally need to be accountable for. You might be overwhelmed by it. You may let yourself and others down in the process.

Like I said, it’s a big word. Maybe I should have gone with my second choice: “A is for Asinine”. That certainly would have been easier.

I think the word “accountability” goes hand in hand with the word “character”. It’s all about holding ourselves as well as others to a certain standard of decency. It means holding others responsible for ethical missteps, and holding ourselves personally responsible for ours.

One thing that I am currently holding myself accountable for is my garage sale project. Thankfully, I got myself some reinforcements with this (reinforcements would certainly be my “R is for” post if I did the challenge this year) project. I learned last weekend that my next door neighbor just retired. And she’s eager to find things to do with her time, even asking me if it’s “ok” if she helps with it.

So, “doing” is the bigger priority for me now.

Excuse me while I take the rest of the day to resume my journey of going through more of my worldly possessions to determine what’s going up for sale next month.

I’ll be back in this space next week.

Ambition, Community, Dreams, Employment, Fashion, Inspiration, Life, Small Business, Storytelling

Moms and Pops

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In my online search for writing fodder, I learned that today is “National Mom and Pops Business Owners Day”.

Have you ever heard of this before? I’m guessing not. I hadn’t either.

Finding out about this national day made me think of my own “mom and pop”. I know I’ve mentioned in past blog posts that my parents, Bonnie and Babe, were small business owners for many years. A women’s clothing store, to be exact.

Prior to my parents ownership of the business, it had been known as “Kay’s Clothes Bar”, on account of the building’s history of housing, you guessed it, a bar.

The name, of course, was changed once my parents took it over.

A keepsake

How the store became theirs is remarkable.

When my mom, at 42, was gabbing with her girlfriends one day in 1979, one of them posed the question “if you could own your own business, what would it be?” Bonnie responded with “I would own Kay’s Clothes Bar”.

That was on a Thursday.

While out and about on that following Saturday morning, my dad called my mom and asked if she was serious about wanting to have a clothing store, and she said yes, she was indeed. Dad had learned that morning that “Kay’s” was up for sale.

So together they forged ahead with becoming small business owners. Dad was on strike from his job at the mining company at the time, so this venture was a huge leap of faith.

Me, at 16, posing in the store

Though Dad had a great mathematical mind, he hadn’t gone to college (neither did Mom). Fortunately that mattered not, because his pragmatism, work ethic, and desire to keep Mom happy worked in concert with his accounting skills to see them through 15 years of being successful small business owners.

One thing that Mom took pride in was her ability to remain current. I think she was a young soul, really, because of her committed interest in staying on top of things. On top of fashion trends, on top of the news of the day, on top of whatever was going on in our little town. She didn’t miss a thing.

She was a social being who was happiest among others. She loved visiting with her customers, creating beautiful displays to “wow” them, and sharing her fashion expertise.

I very much relate to these aspects of Bonnie. So much so that as I sit here writing this post, I’ve been periodically glancing out the window at our “man cave”, (the name will be changing to something that’s not a cliche), thinking up ways to decorate and furnish it as it is to be (at least in part) a fun gathering spot for neighborhood parties and family get-togethers.

Yet lately I’ve started day dreaming about what kind of business I could run in this space. You see, I’m slowly but surely honing in on what it is I’m going to do, work-wise. And there’s so much potential, right here. I could section off a portion of the building for an office for myself to pursue paid creative writing projects or open it up as a non-profit food pantry. Or do something altogether different with this space.

At the risk of sounding like a total flake here, I believe that while I fancy the notion of operating my own small business, I can’t say definitively that working for someone else is out of the question for me. For the right job, the one in which I can use the skills I possess to help others, I would consider being someone’s employee again.

Of course, that would be the easy choice. Much less risky.

It makes me wonder, what would Bonnie and Babe think?

So, I’ve given myself a project this spring. I’m having a garage sale. Over the last several weeks, I’ve been methodically going through all of our stuff and determining what we no longer need. I’ve been going on Pinterest for ideas on how to put on the best garage sale possible.

I figure this is a good way for me to practice having a small business. It also gives me something to focus on as the time I have to spend watching our grandson lessens.

But back to Bonnie and Babe.

I don’t think I realized until the last few years just how much my parents teamwork and individual contributions as small business owners shaped who I am as an adult. How I think, what I dream about, and how I want to live in community with others.

My hard-working parents had so many adventures together in mid-life on account of being small business owners. Financially, they were successful at it, putting me through college and funding their vacations both inside and outside the U.S.

But perhaps even more importantly, they enjoyed running the store together. They took pride in it. They developed meaningful friendships they may not have otherwise developed. They made a positive impact on our community.

Back when I was going through pictures, just prior to moving back to Wisconsin from Colorado last year, I came upon a treasure. It was a clipping from our hometown newspaper of an article about my parents as they were fixing to close up shop and retire.

Retirement came a few years earlier than they had planned, as a dispute with the owner of the building over the lease had developed. They came to the conclusion that it was time to close up shop as a result.

However, Bonnie and Babe retained their great attitudes, with Bonnie commenting to the reporter in the article “As unfortunate as this is, it’s not a tragedy; no one’s dying, we still have each other”. To which Babe responded “if this is as tough as it gets, we’ve got it made”.

Cheers to all of you small business owners out there on this national day. May your customers be loyal, may you stay the course, and may you flourish!

Entertainment, family, Family Dynamics, Fun, Game Shows, Humor, Psychology, Television

8 Reasons Why You Need to Watch This

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In the last few months, Hubs and I have been amusing ourselves by watching Family Feud (with “your man” Steve Harvey) in the early evenings.

The two of us have a pretty short list of the shows we have gotten into together over the years, and for many of them, we only made it to just beyond the middle of the series, if that.

But then there’s Family Feud (with Steve Harvey): a game show pitting two American families against each other to win an amount of money, after taxes, which covers most of the cost of travel/hotel/meals for them if they’re lucky.

These are the things, perhaps because of my social work background, that I think about sometimes when I watch the show with Hubs. I hope for their sakes that none of them wind up in the negative financially as a result of their participation.

So I got a little side-tracked there. My apologies.

But, you know what, and I say this on account of my rosy-shaded lenses, I imagine that if you were to interview members of these families shortly after their experience on this hilarious and life-affirming half-hour American game show, they’d tell you that they had so much fun. Not only while taping the show together as a unit, but the getting there. The great seafood they had the night before at the restaurant across from their hotel. The brief, perhaps awkward and funny, conversations they may have had prior to taping with someone from the other family’s team.

Anyway, that’s my theory. Pardon my verbosity.

Truthfully, I’ve just got so much to say about what I think, feel, and wonder about this show, I should just find some fan club online so I can really geek out about it.

Excuse me while I imagine a scenario in which I’ve befriended legit fans who are real and decent people and together we form a weekly Zoom gathering during which we watch one episode together and gab about it as we go.

Fun, fun, fun!!

Ok, I’ll end this post with the most important point of all, which is why YOU, yes YOU, need to DVR (that’s how these Gen X’ers do it), stream, or simply watch Family Fued in real time with Steve Harvey ASAP.

Consider it a pitch, if you will.

8 Reasons Why YOU need to watch FFWSH (or fwish, if you prefer):

  • Because diversity is awesome! You get a more clear picture of the diversity of American families in the here and now when you watch it.
  • Steve Harvey’s ad-libbing and the faces he makes. He is a comedic genius, to me, with his deadpan responses or imitations of other family members’ potential reactions to the contestant’s answers.
  • The questions! But MY biggest question about the questions is thus: Who are and where do they find the people being surveyed? Ok, yes, this question is a two-parter, I realize, but come on! I have theories, let’s just say. It’d be interesting to find out if they were baseless or not.
  • The answers! How I see it is that there is one of two ways the almost always bonkers questions can be answered: from a completely subjective point of view (as in, how you would answer if someone came up to you in the cereal aisle of the grocery store and asked you this question), or from a more objective point of view (as in, how you think this random group of 100 married men would respond to the question).
  • “Your Man” Steve Harvey’s impeccable suits (most of them anyway-critiquing them is something I’ve been known to engage in while viewing this show).
  • The simplicity of it. Anyone can play! Not necessarily well, mind you. There is often that one contestant that’s either jet-legged or overly nervous or terribly hard of hearing or whatever, who gives the strangest possible answer. And it’s hilarious, because once in a while that “strangest possible answer” is on the board!
  • The fashion! I appreciate that the families on the show, in the majority of cases, put careful thought into what outifts they are going to wear. They typically wear a matching color scheme, have treated themselves to manicures, and put on their best ties or dresses. It’s maybe a little of a throwback to days long ago, when people were first experiencing air travel. They dressed to the nines to commemorate the exciting event.
  • You get just a little peak into family dynamics. Maybe that sounds voyeuristic, but it’s interesting to me. Seeing the love, the trust, the support displayed between family members gives me good vibes. Witnessing a truly surprising reaction via body language to an answer another family member comes up with can be hilarious.

And now, a little song and dance courtesy of You Tube and Sister Sledge. Check out those chic matching outfits!

Friendships, Humor, Life, marriage, Self-Reflection, Time Management

Chronically Tardy

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Who’s chronically late out there?

I’m pokey. I take forever to get things done. To get my ass in gear.

I know I am not the only one.

My chronic tardiness annoys the hell out of people, especially the Hubs, who is very punctual.

Bless his heart, he’s put up with this for over 33 years.

Virtually anyone who knows me IRL will say that having a relationship with me, the kind where you go places in public together, requires patience.

I’ve become more self-aware in the last year, however, which is why I aim to be purposefully patient when I’m interacting with others. Whether it’s my immediate family, the neighbor I just met in my driveway, or my favorite female friends, I try to pay it back.

Yet, my frequent tardiness causes unnecessary stress. I don’t like feeling like I’m disappointing people. But know this: I’m continually running late not because I don’t value your presence and don’t have a feeling of adrenaline running through me in anticipation of whatever we’re doing together.

I like to think those who know me best sense this vibe coming out of me every which way in these moments and choose to love me anyway.

I believe my chronic tardiness is how I’m wired.

Bear with me here.

I was born late. About 6 or 7 years late, I’d say, based on what my Mom told me often when she was still alive.

I was the baby my parents hoped and tried for, after my sister was born. I just took my sweet time getting here. I was born just a bit over 8 years after her.

It stands to reason that my late arrival into this world has at least something to do with my chronic lateness. It’s a theory anyway. Not an excuse, mind you, but an explanation.

I kid you not: I recently perused my old high school yearbook. On one page, there was what can only be referred to as a rambling mess of inside jokes written by, I imagine, a small group of nerdy yearbook kids. At the end of this “piece” is written “and Rhonda K is still eating lunch”.

That, of course, was me they were referring to.

I read an article on NPR earlier this year about chronic lateness. I found it really interesting, and you may as well. Click here for the link.

According to the article, time is a social construct. How cultures view time varies, though essentially one’s view is either “event” based or “clock” based. I clearly fall more into the “event based” camp. If I tell you I’m going to meet up with you today at 11 a.m., I will meet up with you. I’m never one of those “no show” people. Yet, perhaps largely because I am an American living in the U.S., I understand and appreciate those in the “clock based” crowd.

Would you consider yourself “clock” based or “event” based when it comes to time? And what do you make of it?

While you consider those questions, I hope you take the time to enjoy this “timely” cover of a fantastic pop song by Chicago, “Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?”

***Header image courtesy of https://quotesgram.com/late-funny-quotes/

Blogging, Creative Writing, Granparenting, Life, Parenting, Photography, Unemployment

8 Things I Noticed in April of 2022

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It’s now 2/28/23 and I’m realizing this is a post I could publish now. It captured a specific moment in time for me. I wrote it and never published it. I was newly unemployed and planning our move back home.

In other words, I’ve been taking some time today to review all my draft folders. I’m cleaning this digital joint up.

Originally written by me on 4/22/22 and seeing the light just today, these were the 8 things I noticed then:

  • I noticed that my grandson has a beautiful singing voice. Song choice was a sweet surprise: “Close to You” by the Carpenters.
  • Spending time on Twitter can be quite fun. Different but in a good way, from Facebook. Too bad it’s getting overtaken by an oligarch.
  • That my daughter parents differently (and in a lot of important ways, better) than me when she and her sibling were young.
  • My house is in disarray.
  • That we have (had) far too many photos. Sure, there were plenty of precious ones I had to keep (to eventually scan so everything that isn’t in a frame is digitized). But these were photos taken back in the day when you had to put actual film in a camera. And you had no way to see them until you had them developed. In a lab. And half the time there were months between shots so when you dropped off your film, you thought there’d be a chance that there’d be some good ones in there. So you’d want to keep one for yourself and share with someone else, so you checked the box to have 2 copies of each picture. Then you’d get them back like 10 days later only to find out a mere 6 out of the 24 pictures on the film were sort of decent but the rest would be blurry shots of the sky with a smidge of your brother’s eyebrow in the corner.
  • I naturally want to go to sleep for the night later and get up later now that I’m not working.
  • I only have three good bras. That is it. And they are all the same style and size. Just different colors.
  • Almost every show that I absolutely loved but had long ass breaks since the last season due to Covid-19, are all coming back with new seasons right now. Simultaneously. When, ironically, I’m unable to binge any of them at the moment. I’ve got too many other things to do with the big move to Wisconsin coming in less than 3 weeks.

Thank you friends, for reading my share here today. We’ll see if I find any more.

Now, back to editing……

But just one last thing.

An example of a pic taken in the 80’s that we had to pay for someone to develop and wait for days to get from the pharmacy.

Yep, that’s me. Circa 1985 in my MN state university dorm room.
Ambition, Arts and Crafts, Changes, Clarity, Education, Employment, Grandparenting, Lifestyle, Self-Reflection, Work, Writing

Liberal Arts Grandma ISO Meaningful Work

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The level of clarity I have about life, mine of course, but also general life, if you know what I mean, has increased significantly in the last year.

This is on account of all the changes. The cross country move, the new lifestyle and routine, our daughter and grandson overcoming so much and blossoming in their new environment.

I’m feeling settled in here now. At a point of reflection, just gobsmacked over the changes that had to occur and the choices that had to be made to get me and (most of) my beloved crew here, living 15 minutes from each other in this 4 season wonderland that is Minnesconsin.

Not that life is perfect; I’m just marinating in this feeling of being “settled”.

However, I know I can’t marinate indefinitely. Nor do I want to.

Paid employment is beckoning me at the moment. I’m itching to get back at it. But I’m still in charge of the now 9 year old at least a few afternoons per week, and I’m seeing that this might continue through the school year.

So, paid employment for me is kind of on the back burner for now.

That’s ok however, because I have yet to figure out what it is exactly I want to or can do and be paid for it. This the one big thing I don’t yet have clarity on.

Example: I opted for a free upgrade recently on LinkedIn. I thought it would be helpful for me to engage more on that site. However, when I went to update my profile, I was prompted to describe the kind of job I am looking for.

I blanked. I literally didn’t realize until that moment that I don’t know exactly what kind of job I want. So, I stopped right there and shortly after canceled my upgrade to prevent myself from being charged a monthly fee.

I might go back to it, upgrade it again. Once I figure out what kind of job I’m looking for, that is.

In my fantasy life, the job of my dreams (you know, the one that allows me to work part time writing and supporting others in various ways to move forward and achieve their hearts desire) just shows up. It appears out of thin air and I gratefully latch onto it and thank my lucky stars.

But that is not how it works. Ever.

Not that I’m not a believer in manifestation, but I know I’ve got to put some work into it. Take some action.

While I ponder paid employment, I’m hell bent on being more active. Physically, mentally, and intellectually. What’s cool about this for me is that I’ve got a sidekick. My grandson needs to be engaged in learning so he can move forward and so do I.

That means my “job” right now is to learn and grow with him. I refuse to put on a teacher hat when he’s here because it’s important to me that my role as his Grandma remains intact for him.

That compels me to think outside the box. To figure out how to engage him without saying words like “learn” or “teach” in his presence. He balks when those words are uttered. So I have to be a little sneaky about it, kind of like those parents who whirl veggies in a blender and put it in the muffins they’re baking for the kids.

I like the notion of being the “liberal arts” Grandma. She who engages her grandchild’s artistic and creative tendencies in a way that sheds new light into his brain and heart.

Image courtesy of https://www.pinterest.com/pin/17170042308639399/

One thing I did recently with him is to ask him to teach me how to do oragami, something I know he’s good at and likes to do. As a kid with ADHD, he needs to keep his hands busy pretty much all the time. He was very receptive to it and seemed to appreciate my suggestion that one of the pieces of oragami I created could be turned into a piece of art, like a picture frame.

So, my new theory is that both he and I can learn together via arts and crafts projects. That can be my contribution to his education.

Pinterest, here I come!

Celebrate, Entertainment, Fun, Humor, Love, Romance, Television

Love, American Style

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Are you singing that song in your head, folks?

You, fellow Gen X and up Americans, most likely know what song I’m referring to. It’s the one from that goofy t.v. show of the same title from the 1970’s. I think it might be the first tune that my brain latched onto as a youth.

For those not in the know, here it is:

Clearly, this is a post about love. It’s Valentine’s Day and yesterday was Galentine’s Day, my lovely readers!

I just had to give a shout out to a character I loved so much from one of the best American sitcoms ever: that waffle loving gal Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation, played by the wonderful Amy Poehler.

Image courtesy of https://merakimusings.org/galentines-day/

Speaking of Parks and Recreation, Hubs and I recently began watching “The Last of Us” on HBO Max. And, to our surprise, Ron Swanson showed up.

Of course, the actor, Nick Offerman was not in character as Ron Swanson here. That would be weird. He was instead playing a character living in isolation after the world went to complete crap due to a fungal catastrophe that killed the majority of humans and turned them into zombies.

His character, Bill, encountered another man, Frank, who was seeking shelter. Bill opened up his home to Frank and they fell in love.

I applaud the writers and creators of this show for giving us a tender and honest story that reflects the vulnerability of falling in love. As a LGBTQ+ ally, I appreciate that they chose to validate and lift up same-sex love and romance in the way they did. This episode brought me to tears and I believe Nick Offerman deserves all of the awards that exist for sharing this character and his story with the world.

As Bill, Nick Offerman performed a song (originally sung by the songbird Linda Ronstadt), in such a beautifully vulnerable manner in this episode. It really touched my heart, and I can’t imagine it not touching yours. Here it is, courtesy of YouTube:

This gives me chills

Any of you who haven’t yet seen “The Last of Us” ought to really get on with it. It is just so well done.

Since I’m going on here about love-worthy American t.v. shows; I’ve gotta tell you I love the new show on Peacock, “Poker Face”. It stars the one and only Natasha Lyonne (who, incidentally, worked with Amy Poehler from the aforementioned Parks and Recreation to create Russian Doll on Netflix), and it’s a winner. One of the many cool things about this show, beyond Natasha’s portrayal of the character Charlie, is how the producers put in little bits of nostalgia for those old mystery shows that some of us watched back in the 70’s. Like good old “Kojak” and “Murder She Wrote”.

For instance, the font used in the credits. The titles of episodes (like “Exit Stage Death” which featured Ellen Barkin and Tim Meadows at their ridiculous best). The way how, at the end of each episode, Charlie presents her thought process on what really happened (i.e., who, how, and why the person was murdered). It’s so refreshing to see a t.v. show that is about murder yet not overtly violent. In one episode, Charlie made a reference to “Felix Unger” from the “Odd Couple”, which I thought was particularly clever.

I believe that American t.v. is very good at the moment and I am loving it.

How about you?

I hope your Valentine’s Day is full of sweet, funny, and lovely moments, whether you watch some good old (or new) American t.v. or not. And plenty of chocolate of course!

Image courtesy of https://tokyotreat.com/blog/valentines-day-candy-the-best-straight-from-tokyo

Anxiety, Blogging, Emotions, Hope, Life, Mental Health, Moods, Self-Reflection, Time

On Being a WIP and Melancholy

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You know, sometimes I feel like I could lose my mind. There’s just so much going on in this head of mine. I can sense the tears but they rarely come out.

Whew.

I don’t think I’m depressed per se. I’m just mixed up. Feeling like I’m wandering and unable to sort out where I’m going. Very much like I’m caught up in the space I’m in, yet certain that there’s something new on the horizon waiting for me to jump into it.

I think there’s something to a new concept I read about this morning online: purpose anxiety. Or maybe it’s a diagnosis. I think I have it. I think this “gap year” I’m in is similar to the other one that I had in that I get to a point where I’ve got too much time on my hands. Yet I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything of value. Like I ought to be using my time more wisely.

Meloncholy resonates with me today. I googled the word to gain a better understanding of it’s meaning and came upon this definition by Emily Brady at the University of Michigan (link here)”melancholy is something we desire from time to time, for it provides an opportunity for indulgent self-reflection. We enjoy this time out for reflection, but the pleasure is also connected to recollecting that which we long for, which this reflective element can be even exhilirating or uplifting.”

It’s also full on winter here in Minnesconsin, which is something I haven’t experienced in the last 7 years. There’s snow everywhere you look and it’s so cold out there. It pushes me to hibernate.

Some of the parts about hibernating I actually like. Such as watching t.v. on my couch, especially if Radar chooses to be my cuddle buddy. Reading; though most of the reading I do these days is other people’s blog posts or NPR. I’ve been re-reading “Atlas of the Heart”, by Brene Brown, which I need to get back to as it’s been a few days. It’s such an important book to me. One I treasure. One of the few books I’ve read that has actually altered my perspective and, I think, improved the way I relate to others. It’s a keeper.

Yes, I recently published a blog post in which I listed all of the things I do just for fun. That feels a little ironic to me as I pour myself out here and now. Yet I stand by that post. I am of the mind that having fun, along with having something to look forward to, is very underrated in American culture.

That said, and I say this with the intention of pushing myself forward, I’m going to take the time to lay out some things I can do, actions I can take to just get on with it. To push through this little slump I’m in. I know it’s temporary.

I’m a WIP (Work in Progress), you’re a WIP, we’re all WIPs, right?

Progress, not perfection.

***Header image courtesy of https://lifeism.co/aesthetic-quotes-that-will-center-you-for-the-day